In Home vs Daycare ..im Torn

Hi, A.:
Daycare is a system whereby everything is by rules and regulations.

Home care is more like being at home with someone who cares.

Just a thought.
D.

I loved my child's daycare. She leaned so much while in day care. They learn about rules and respect and it's in such a fun setting.

I found mine to be very clean and sanitized everyday.

I also liked that there were lots of eyes on my child and lots of eyes on the people that work there. A director, teachers and staff. What I don't like about in house child care is that you never know who is coming over. Maybe the weird uncle is staying for two weeks - you wouldn't know. Or boyfriends coming and going? At a daycare, it's only the staff and some therapists that are on site.

A good home daycare does not just put the children in front of the TV, they do art projects, work on letters/numbers, play games, gives the children a chance to explore and interact etc.. I worked in a center for 5 years and after my daughter was borned I knew I would never put her in a center so I started a home daycare. It is not if one is better than the other it is about finding a quality daycare. There are good centers and home daycares.There are pros and cons to both. It comes down to how good is the teacher. When I worked at the center I reported two teachers for slapping the childrens hands and nothing was done. So much for having more eyes watching out for the children. Food was limited because the daycare was having financial problems.In my home daycare I never slapped a child and food was not limited. Yes, I did take some time off for vacation but I always gave at least a month notice, most of the time more. I liked having the children in a family setting and I liked the age range. I felt it was like the children all had younger and older siblings. If the children were a little out of sorts we could pull out the sofa bed and have a movie day or throw blankets on the floor and read books. Things I would not have been able to do in the center. Out of the 20 years I did home daycare all but 1 child knew how to read before entering kindergarten. This was done through activities and games not by flashcards. There are pros and cons to both but what is most important is to really investigate before putting your child in any daycare. Get references, spend some time observing, make sure they are licensed, call your local licensing organization and see if they have been written up for anything major,etc. After your child starts at the daycare make some surprise visits and have open communication with the teachers. So important! I spent time every morning and evening talking to the parents. It really helps to build a realtionship from the start. Best of luck!

Hi A.. I have two children and have experienced both in-home and daycare centers. I have to say, in my experience, I prefer a center. I realize many people have good experiences with in-home but my experience was that the in-home provider would always have 'something come up' so I was constantly having to leave work to pick up my son (this was when I only had one child). My son (4.5) has been in two different centers and my daughter (1.5) has been in one.....I have not found that they lack attention as some have experienced. My son has been very close to his teachers and they seem excited about his progress, etc. Same with my daughter - she recently moved from the baby room where she was very attached to the teacher (and the teacher to her according to the sweet notes she regularly gave) and she's now in the toddler room where her teacher seems equally excited about any new milestones, etc. I love the center directors as well. Yes, it's expensive however I found with in-home providers they were charging just as much as I'd pay for a center yet I was always having to go get my son due to the "something came up" stuff. At least in a center there is always someone to backup if a teacher is sick or has to leave, etc.
Yes, my children have had more than their share of illness however it seems each year, as the kids get older and more exposed, there is less and less illness. I also think it's a kick-start to when they go to school - at least they are exposed now and the immune system will be 'fully charged' when they get into regular grade school!
Another plus - I feel my children get the preschool/kindergarten readiness as they work in circle time, sharing, sitting at lunch, colors, shapes, numbers, pre-reading, etc.
Good luck in your quest for sitters - it's a hard decision and someone else's experience may not be the best for you.

I put my DD in two in-home placements that I chose not to continue. One because the woman kept cancelling because her own kids were sick, and the other because when I came to get my daughter the front door was open, the kids were napping in the front room and the provider was in the back yard and never knew I'd come in! I finally placed her in a center. I am so glad I did. She has been cared for by people who have early childhood or education degrees who know about child development, she has been given art projects, she has been read to, she has learned about a lot of things, she is learning spanish, she has been gently corrected when she doesn't behave, she has learned how to interact with her peers. All of her teachers have been patient and loving. The only problem I have with it is the food doesn't match what we feed our daughter but since they let us bring food for her it is not an issue. I'm not knocking in-home, because there are some highly skilled wonderful in-home providers, but I've read so many horror stories on mamapedia, and my own experiences were less than optimal, that it seems like you have to be pretty careful picking one.

A.:

If she's plunking him down in front of a TV - that's NOT caring for your child.

A day care center? Well, the pros:

1. You know their hours.
2. You know they won't be taking a vacation and you'll have to schedule care elsewhere or take your vacation at that time as well.
3. They don't have TVs (at least the one I worked at didn't).
4. They SHOULD be working with your child on crafts, alphabet and numbers....etc.
5. He will experience socialization and learn socialization skills unlike a home day care.
6. MAY have a nap schedule that works for you and your son.

The cons:
1. The teacher to child ratio is bigger than what he is used to.
2. There are habits your son might pick up from the other kids that you won't like.
3. he won't get the one-on-one he MIGHT get (obviously not getting at this one) at a home care.
4. they have a specific nap schedule instead of one that works for you and your son.

either way - I'm sure there are posters who will tell you that he's more likely to get sick at a day care versus a home day - but really?! it happens EVERY WHERE!!

Good luck!! Go with your guy instinct on this one!

Hi A.,
i was in the exact sam situation with my son a year ago. We loved his in home sitter, and she was great for nururing him when he was an infant, but he would be in front of the TV all the time, it was always on, and he bagan to expect that at home. There were some other issues we had with her, but the lack of stimulation was the main thing. We decided to put him in a daycare center when he turned 18 months. It was the BEST decision we ever made for him. yes, he did get sick, and yes, he does have daycare cough every now and then, but his vocabulary increased tremendously within 2 weeks of attending, as did his listening skills. He developed a love for art and numbers and letters beyond what we were able to do with him in the evenings and weekend. He made a bunch of "new friends" and continues to do so all the time. He was potty trained in 3 days and other than some reinforcement at home I didn't have to do anything to make it happen. It helped him to understand patience, and that he can't always get his way (which became invaluable when our daughter was born). It gave him structure, and helped to understand transitions between activities, cleaning up toys, washing hands, inside voices, and so much more.

Our daughter is 17 months and is in the in-home daycare that he was in (better for the infant stage we felt) and we are more than ready to transition her, just waiting for an open spot for her to switch.

It honestly has created a huge change in our home and with our son. I wish you the very best of luck with whatever decision you make.

I brought my son to an in home daycare provider who said to me, "You're not paying me to sit your child in front of the TV." So like a PP said, sitting them in front of the tv is not really caring for them.

Check out different daycare centers as well as other in home ones, I'm sure both can be equally good if it's a right match. Ask around, get recommendations and go w/ your instinct.

As an in home provider, I really won't just "defend" us..YOU have to do the homework and the put the time in to ask the questions and visit the sites, do observations, call referrals, read reviews (if there are any of centers, etc).

This is a HUGE decision...finding complete strangers to care for your precious child. Be informed and go with some gut instinct as well.

As others have stated, Home Childcare has pro's and con's...but around here, every single one is truly different, so I assume that is the case everywhere? Rates, how they structure time and activities, their philosophy, their training and background, their reasons for doing childcare, etc. Personally, I have never ever done a job (in almost 25 years as an adult) that didn't involve caring for children. Never worked at a store or office, etc. That should say alot. This is my career. I also have a recent (finally =) college degree in Child Development (with Honors, thank you very much!). I am active in a local childcare association. I do have the TV on a little each day..not all day...ish. We don't do many "crafts", but rather we do art..and work diligently on manners and socialization, etc. It certainly can be done in a smaller home environment. I can also offer alot of flexibility with our day...if someone is teething, or had shots yesterday....or didn't sleep well due to the thunderstorm last night. I also do home cooked, healthy meals (never a chicken nugget or fish stick here unless its a home made healthy one). I am trying not to rant here...I am just pointing out that these are things you CAN find in home childcare. Dedicated career providers, with space in their home given up to their work, or created to be shared with their work. Things are kept safe and inspected like you can't imagine if licensing is in place. Some of it is ridiculous and beyond normal building codes and such...but its for the safety of a group of small children, not a normal family situation. And remember, providers are interviewing YOU too.

Centers can be great too...but again, you have to do the homework. Go and observe. Ask about staff turnover and combining classes in the early morning and end of the days (some parents do not like this). What training do the different types of workers have to have (aides, teachers, etc). How often do they have to do fire drills? Ask about typical menus..who cooks it? Are they on a food program? Can they have seconds? Are they forced to eat everything/one bite deal, etc? What about naps? Are they forced to lay there, etc? What sort of curricula do they use? DO they create it, is it a state approved one? There are many options there and centers AND home daycares can be doing the same things, or have reasons for what they are doing (a Montessori approach with some Reggio in there...or some Creative Curriculum, High/ Scope, High Reach, OWL, etc). Just please do not discount a center or home situations curricula because they "make their own". Proper training and education can provide the needed tools, along with fantastic internet resources and your own hours of time to put it all together to cover learning areas.

Many of my questions are ones for both situations. Parents need to be informed! I always feel helpless when parents have had bad experiences in daycare of any kind...to me it means my "daycare peeps" out there in the world at large are not upholding the same standard that I myself, and my associates do. Which means parents and children suffer.....

Ok...I am done for now..sorry so long and ranty....

As many of the mom's pointed out, it is not caring for a child when the TV is on - period. While it is your decison and everyone has their opinion - here are mine. One of my issues with in-home care is the access and ability to see TV and the mixed ages (meaning many care for older kids after-school even the sitter's children).
I have had my children in a center since I had to go back to work when they were little and there are many, many that are family-focused and have a very homey feel to them. I like that the kids have access to so many activities - painting, play dough, tactile tables, sand & water tables, perfect sized outdoor equipment for them to get large muscle development. Many in-home centers just can't afford the depth and breadth of age- appropriate activities for kids.
ALSO many home care centers don't have to be licensed by the state, just registered meaning they don't have to have as much training annually in areas like child development, music and movement, active play and appropriate discipline.
Being a child care provider is HARD WORK!! and takes a lot of study, continuing education and patience. Which leads me to another reason I prefer CC centers - more hands to help! It scared the dickens out of me thinking that my child would have one, maybe two, adults with all these age of kids. What if he was crying and another kid was pulling on their leg and yet anothe started throwing food/toys - would they loose it? Snap? They don't have anyone to call for support or "back up" it is isjust them.
That was my personal thoughts on the subject. I encourage you to call your local resource & referral service (you can find them by googling NAACCRRA). they have lists of child care providers (in home and centers) that meet the requirements of the state and they also have tips for parents on looking and rating quality child care - and it is there both in-home and centers.
good luck!

I think if you can find a great in-home daycare, that's wonderful. When I first started looking for childcare for my daughter, I found two or three in-home that had wonderful reviews. Both providers were former teachers, and it just looked amazing. However, those kinds of in-home are hard to get in to :) So, I put my daughter in a center; one of two in the town we live in. At the time I was student teaching two blocks away. She was fine there, but I didn't love it. Once I graduated, I got a job on the other side of town and started looking for new daycares. My husband and I went to several, and finally decided on one that is a private Christian school with a daycare attached. It is pricey, but man, my kid is learning a lot!!! She loves it, too. She is also an only child (for now) and we have no family with kiddos her age. A lot of our friends also do not have children her age. I know that for her age group, they can have more kids but they only have six kids in her class. They actually have preschool time two hours a day. There is no tv in sight and the owner is very on top of things. No daycare should ever sit kids in front of a tv. The provider should be doing art, teaching letters/number etc. Even though I am a teacher, I def. did not specialize in early childhood. We work with my daughter at home, but there are things she knows that we have not taught her yet that the daycare has. She can count to ten, knows her colors, shapes, animals, etc. She loves the social interaction and that was a big reason I wanted her somewhere with other kiddos. Since she is an only child and doesn't really have any playmates where we live, this is great for her. Now, it's not perfect (no place is) but I have been happy with it. The only way I would EVER do in-home is if I got some great recommendations. My daughter is almost two, but that is still to young to let me know if something shady is going on at an in-home daycare. That's not to say there aren't great ones out there! I think they key is (no matter what you decide) to find a great daycare that you are comfortable with. Ask for recommendations, check out reviews online,etc. Good luck!

My children (3 and 1) have been in both. We started out in an in home daycare with my son, which I loved, because it seemed like going to Grandma's house. However, as my son became a toddler, he started getting into trouble ALOT and I think it was because he was bored. Their were only 4-6 kids on any given day and they had a limited number of toys. There was no structured activities. They didnt go outside to play.

We switched to a small center a few months before he turned two and I couldnt be happier. They paint, read, cook, do crafts, dance, sing, play on a little playground. They do so many cool and fun things - this week they are studying I and G, and so on Wednesday they made ice cream sundays, and today they are cooking goulash. In the summer, they get a bounce house twice a month, and have water themed days once a week.

The state ration is 1:6 at this age level, so there is one adult for every six children.

My daughter has been in the baby room since she was 3 months old. She has one caregiver, and there are only 3 other babies. Its so sweet going to pick her up. Sometimes the lights are dim, there is classical music playing, and the babies are little sleeping lumps under blankets in the little cribs. Other times, she might be up, being held or rocked, or sitting in a highchair eating snack or playing with toys on the floor.

This place is SUPER clean - they wash the bedding every day and the toys frequently. At my daughter's one year checkup, the doctor noted that she had only been brought in once for a "sick" visit. My son, who was in home daycare, had 4 or 5 ear infections by the time he was one. So I wouldnt say that kids necessarily get sick more often at a center.

I would ask questions like this when you go:
How do they handle discipline? For example, what do they do with a two year old who bites, pinches, or hits? (My son was the biter, and I really appreciated how the center worked with him)

What does a typical day for a one year old look like? What activities would he do in a normal day?

What is the director's background? Hopefully, the director has a good preschool / early childhood teaching experience.

What sort of training does the staff get? For example, do they get any early childhood development, discipline strategies, etc on a regular basis?

What is the turnover rate for the staff? For example, the teacher your son will have - how long has that teacher been there? How many caregivers will your son have?

What sort of cleaning do they do - how often are the toys washed, the floors mopped, etc?

Is there a van? Do they ever take the children places? (FYI - I ask this because I do NOT want my child taken anywhere in a daycare van. Every year in Texas there are a couple of stories of children being forgotten in those vans and dying in the heat!)

What I was looking for in a daycare - I wanted a place that had a structured schedule, but was very child centered - where there were lots of opportunities for a child to explore and create and experiment. I wanted a place were there were lots of books, and where the teachers read and sang with the students and where they listened to music.

This post is more than you asked for - I know. Things will work out. Good luck!

I would say that you don't have a good in-home sitter. A tv should never be part of a day. But, as you call her, she is an in home sitter, not an in home daycare.

I personally LOVE my daycare center. The pros are the stimulation, the interaction with other kids their age, age appropriate crafts and learning, a consistent schedule, the teacher's vacations/sick days do not impact me as far as there being a place for my kids that day. I don't worry about unattended children if potty or lunch breaks are needed, etc. My son learns so much and is exposed to so much that I would never have access to, or think to do. (My daughter will too, when old enough.)

I know that there are many wonderful in home places too, but who is watching the kids when she goes to the bathroom, makes meals, etc. Who is to say that a TV isn't on, and who else enters her house during the day?

The fact that you are looking says that you don't like the current situation, whatever you choose, you need to change.

DS was in daycare from 9 weeks on. His daycare provided licensed preschool from age 3 and we moved to a Montessori when he was 4-1/2. LOVED daycare. I liked the fact that there were many teachers watching - I could never have left my son with a home daycare with one provider - you would never know if they sat your infant in front of the tv all day. Or worse. Different daycares provide different levels of structure as far as learning activities, outdoor play, nutrition, etc. We found one with some structure (circle time, story time, singing, etc) but a lot of time for free play. We also picked one where we provided all DS's food so we did not worry that he was being fed hot dogs and chicken fingers every day.

DS learned an incredible amount in daycare (we did too - who knew that he could put away all his toys and sing the clean up song at 18 months - not us who were doing this for him at home) - letter and number recognition, writing, using scissors, painting, coloring, interacting with peers, interacting with adults.

everyone is different, but i prefer inhome rather than a center. Centers are very expensive and i used to work at one. It was a good center but you always have the trouble makers, and your child does not get the one on one attention. I LOVE in home. My kids go to a wonderful one. They do art projects, play games, play outside, read, learn and they are really like a family there. She has around 7 during the school year and about 10 during the summer and they are all good friends. I think if you are really wanting more stimulation and learning for you son i would interview other inhome daycares and go that route if possible. I would never go to a center but that is just my opionion. Good luck!!

My daughter is in a center and she and we love it. I have noticed alot of in home center owners on this site are way concerned about the parents not coming to pick up their child immediately after work etc. My daughter's center is open 6 am to 6 pm and if I choose to drop her off at 10 am one day or 7:30 am another it is not questioned. If I choose to work out right after work and as long as I pick her up by 6pm it is no one's business. Also, as others have said you don't have to worry about your sitter being sick or going on vacation. Your child will be with kids her own age. You don't have to worry with a 3 yo pounding on a 1 yo. Her day is very scheduled with activities that are age appropriate.

Both my kids were in daycare centers from 6 to 9 weeks up to and including kindergarten. We loved it. My kids are very bright, started reading before K, counting, writing, etc. But they also did lots of music, arts and crafts, games, etc. They brought in dance/karate/gymnastics teachers (yes you paid extra if you wanted to do it), but I liked it because it was something different to do as they got older.
I think a home situation can be good as well.
But with either situation you need to visit first and see for yourself and be totally comfortable with where your child goes.

I love the daycare my children go to. My son learns a LOT there - he was reading by 3 1/2 years old! Knew his ABCs by 18 months.

However, we started my 1st son at a daycare center that didn't work out. I regret that he spent even 1 day there. They were really a big babysitting service - babies spent all day in swings or excersaucers, no curriculum, no arts and crafts. I've learned since then that good centers have babies on the floor so they can move around and explore, and do arts and crafts even with 6 month olds! So be observant on the tour, ask for references, ask about the learning curriculum, etc.

One resource that can help: look up NAEYC. They certify excellent daycare centers - less than 10% of all centers meet their high standards. You can go to their website and type your zip code to get centers in your area that meet their standards. I found my current daycare through their website (and found out that the daycare I didn't like did not meet their standards).

We use a center and absolutely love it! After listening to neighbors complain about in-home centers and watching my son thrive in the center environment, it has made me realize I made the right choice. In-home has limited hours, limited kids in an age group, no back up if the provider takes a vacation or gets sick, however is usually less expensive. We never have to worry about the center closing (unless bad weather but that has never happened in 3 years). The exposure my son gets to other kids his age helps him play better with others and the routine they follow is great for him. Plus they teachers who are specializing in age groups so they know what to be teaching your child for that age group.

Have you asked her not to let your son watch tv? Have you said anything to her about doing art or anything a little more stimulating? Sometimes communication is all that is needed.
If everything else is great about this sitter, I would try this first. You may be surprised at what a great asset she can be.
Switching to a center at this age could be very tough and take a very long time to adjust. Sleeping will be off, eating will be off and he may not even like being around all those kids his age. I have seen this numerous times.
Something to be said about the saying if it isnt broke dont fix it……hth

I did the same thing you did! In home from 8 weeks old and then after he turned one I put him in a daycare facility. I can say that it is the best decision I made. The reason for the change was because I felt like he wasn't learning anything...in a daycare setting they learn because oftentimes it is a school like environment. He was also with kids his own age. He has learned so much!!! Stuff that I didn't think he was old enough to know!

I had another baby in November and put her in the same daycare facility and have been so happy.

I did the inhome first with my first born because the thought of putthing him in a daycare facility scared me...I'm over that now...there are so many rules and regualtions now that I feel certain the kids are safe. The first week of transition was tough but it got better...now he loves it!!

You're going to get varying opinions. And it really depends on how well each place is run. You may get a home sitter that is really into learning and all that but you may get one who lets the kids lay around while she collects her checks. You may get a great run educational center or you may get one that needs inspections all the time.

If both cases are good, here are things to think about:

In a home setting you can't have as many children per adult as you can a center, hence a child technically can have more one on one than a center.

Center provides are generally more trained than a home sitter.

Centers generally have state guidelines on expectations through out the day including health standards and educational standards, and healthy food will be expected as well.

Many centers today have cameras installed in each classroom where you can monitor your child's class right from the lobby. Some even have set ups where you can sit at work on your computer and check in on your child's class right from your desk.

Home sitters are more flexible and can usually set up the type of sleep and eating schedule you need/want for your child. Centers have built in schedules that all must follow due to the size and for ease for running.

Centers many times have floating helpers that can help out so one adult is left with their group. Sitters at home may have friends come over and they may help but they are not qualified and trained, and could be any stranger at any time. Centers must be background checked and certified to be with your child.

Your best bet is to do a tour. Check the general feel of the place and the attitude of everyone who works there. Be sure official notices are not poorly posted or hidden by children's art work and such. A good center will take these seriously. Ask to sit in when you can, if it's allowed. Ask around your area to see how others may like it. Your child will adjust to a new schedule and routine.

**I'd like to add about illnesses. Yes, kids will get sick in either setting. Kids are more likely to get sick in a center only because there are more children so the odds go up. With that said, centers are required to keep things sanitary a lot more than a home sitter would do, so I think at the end of the day it balances out.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

He IS more likely to get sick at a center (my kiddo developed asthma because she was getting sick so often and her system just couldn't recover), but then again a stomach virus just went through my home daycare. Yuck.

Bottom line: do what you feel comfortable with. There is a more family-like atmosphere in an in-home daycare, but at the same time, your provider should not just be plunking him down in front of the tv. If she is, find a different one.

I use tv in my home daycare, but only at lunch prep time when they are getting cranky with each other and I need to be able to prepare their lunches. That's it, all day.

Good luck!

We decided on a licensed daycare. My reasoning for it was that there are multiple adults there (making sure everything is ok), kids are with other kids their age, and there is a strong curriculum. We chose a daycare really close to our house, which has been very convenient. Things to look for are low turnover, an emphasis on outside time, and recommendation from parents whose kids go there.

In home daycares can be really nice, of course, but I feel much more comfortable with my kid in a place where teachers have regular inservices in child development, degrees in education, and a licensed center. And, it goes without saying, there is not a TV in the whole building at my son's daycare. Regardless of what you choose, a child under 2 should never, ever watch TV, and I would immediately fire anyone who let a baby watch TV. That is unacceptable and lazy.

As for feeling bad about 10 kids in a room, in PA, a licensed daycare has maximum ratios for kids. Infants is 1:4, Toddlers 1:5. So if she's in a room with 10 kids, there will be 2-3 adults, depending on which room she's in. Good luck with your decision!