I'm the One with Seperation Anxiety :*(

I am a 25 year old mother of a 5 month old little girl and I stay on the upper west side on 5th avenue and 110th. I am not to that stage yet but I can imagine how stressful it is because I am so attached to my daughter now and when I think of when she turns 1 and her father is always talking about when she can go to a baby sitter my heart just drops, I dont want to be away from her. When she cries with someone to long I have to get her, I wish we never had to be seperated, because she is so use to me around her whenever she falls asleep in my arms and I lay her down she wakes up the moment I lay her down. I am absolutely in love with her that I think I am crazy sometimes, but I just wanted to write to let you know that I understand how you feel. Please make sure that the head start doesnt give her anything she can not swallow I just lost my 2 year old god son because the daycare allowed him to choke on a pineapple. So yes be cautious but once everything turns out ok allow yourself to feel like she is going to be ok.

My daughter started school this year too, she'll be four in Feb, she has been attending school from 8:30am to about 3pm and aftercare until I get off at 5pm. Yes, it is a long day, my daughter is generally alseep by 8 pm. And yes, I was a nervous wreck the first few weeks and sometimes even now I worry about what happens in school. Keep in mind that she may come home with a few bruises (kids will be kids) and don't worry about asking questions and expressing concerns, that's your pride and joy and you are looking out for her best interests. I agree, you should schedule a meeting with the director and even drop in during a school day so that you can feel secure in the type care that your daughter is getting while she is away from you. Our school allows that parents to sit in on classes and watch how the children interact with one another. I got the number to the school on speed dial and asked a bunch of questions and made sure I had alot of books on hand to keep my mind off the fact that she wasn't with me.

Hi L.,
I felt the same as you when I had to return to work when my son was 1yr old. It was terrifying. But when decided on a careaker, we asked her questions for an hour. I think it shows the careaker or headstart in your case that you are a concerned, involved and loving parent and you dont want to just drop your kid off anywhere. So my advice is to ask away. Make sure you bring our list of questions with you because seeing all the kids and stuff may be overwhelming and may make you forget. I am sure she will love it and its important for them toobtain those social skills so they can be better prepared for grammer school. And keep yourself busy during the day so that you dont go insane with boredom... or just have another baby! lol

Passionately yours,
Chastity*

Basically, since you have been with her since she was born, you are definitely going to have that feeling. However, as your daughter grows up, that feelings don't go away. So the best thing you can do is always keep in touch with the school and keep your contact numbers current. I went through the same thing when I put my 5 year old son in preschool. I hope this advice helps you feel a little better about sending your daughter to school.

Hi L., im a mother of 3 boys and im 25. I understand what you mean. I once felt the same way with my boys, well 2 of them, the other one is going to be 2. Especially my first child, I didnt want to let him go anywhere, I was afraid. Hes like really quiet to, he wouldnt associate with anyone not even kids. It would take him a while to feel comfortable and finally talk. I first let him go when he had to into kindergarten. Ofcourse I had no choice, it was time for him to start school. I was afraid, I thought that he would probabaly cry like other students did, but to my shock he didnt. Instead I almost cried. Well he did seem very serious though. Everyday the teacher would tell me that he was a great kid, he behaved well but he was too quiet. It took me a while to actually get him to start speaking. Little by little through the middle of the school year he started speaking. My other one had to start pre-k, he was excited, no problems there. I also felt like I wanted to make sure that they were safe in those schools, especially with other bigger children around. Speak to your child and review with her the right and wrong. I mean let her know how to keep safe and reassure her that if she felt uncomfortable about a person or teacher or another child to let you know. With all the things happening in this world with small children it makes us feel unsafe and not sure of letting our children go. Dont ever feel like you are intrrogating someone. you are only concerned about your childs safety. Ask as many questions as you would like. Find out if you can spend the first day or 2 days with her so that you can see what it would be like. I must tell you when its time to let go its time to let go. unfortunately our children grow up. Do what you must do to feel good and know that your child is safe.
If they hesitate on giving you information then it aint no good. You can also go online and try to find out what the school or program is like. Good Luck and GOD BLESS YOU ALL

Wow, see, my daughter was the one with the seperation anxiety. She was 3 when she entered the head start program, and it was the best thing I could have done for her. She went to the one in Elizabeth NJ for 2 1/2 years, and now she is the smartest in her Kindergarden class. Head Start was great because you could go and sit in the class whenever you want to and they are state funded, so you know the teachers aren't just people off of the streets.Another thing, if you let your daughter see you not wanting to let her go, she will probably start to feel like you do, and not want to go. Good luck. K.