I'm Such a Weinie!!

I think its wonderful that you were brave enough to make the decision to take the kids and spend that time with them and spend time away from your husband.

I love my husband too but as they say.. there need to be spaces in your togetherness in a relationship.

I got married when I was 20 years old and never really had much time to explore life on my own and develop a sense of myself at that time. I've been married for 28 years and over the years, I've allowed myself and my husband has encouraged me to take that very important time to learn about myself and develop self-confidence about doing some things on my own.

I think its important for your kids to see that you take that time for yourself too and you do things with your husband and shared friends AND with yourself and your own friends.

I think it would be very draining on my husband if he felt he was the ONLY thing that "completed me" so to speak. I think this trip is a very healthy investment in your marriage. Being toooo dependent on a spouse could ultimately drive him or her away.

I'm not sure if you work outside the home or have a hobby or class you enjoy going to. That would be a start in separating yourself from your husband for shorter amounts of time. If you aren't used to traveling away from home by yourself or leaving the house that often, its going to take baby steps for you. Maybe this trip was a bit too much to start off with but what the heck, you committed to going and you should just do it! Check in with him at different points during the day. I think that should help calm your fears. But no more than a few times as that defeats the whole purpose of you going if you are constantly calling and checking on him.

Obviously I don't know the whole story here. Perhaps something tragic has happened in your past where you have lost someone/ been separated from them through death or divorce or there have been fidelity issues with your own parents or you and your husband.. ? I don't know.. and that is why you have been receiving therapy. But for the sake of your own sanity and your marriage, I would continue with therapy and taking baby steps to help you feel more confident about leaving your husband for short periods of time.

Maybe a 4 or 5 day trip away from him is just too much for you to start out with. I'm not sure why you agreed to do this but perhaps you just decided you were going to FORCE yourself to do it. Anyway.. bravo to you!

you know, terrible things can happen whether you are home or away unfortunately. We ultimately don't have control over everything in our life as much as we would like to. Even IF something tragic happened, it wouldn't be because you decided to spend some wonderful quality time with your children and give your husband a break . Is your husband resentful that you are leaving? Did he encourage you to do this?

I would suggest you focus on the wonderful elements of this plan.. that you are able to get out of the house and go to the nice beach and spend time with the kids and your husband gets wonderful alone time for himself. And then maybe he will do the favor for you and you will get to go away for the day to a spa or something ... ???or wherever you would like to go and for however long..
Life is WAAAAY to short. Seize the day.. be brave and go out and live life!!! Let us know how it goes!!

aaaaawww R.:

Believe it or not - this time apart is good for the two of you!!!

I don't like sleeping without Bob either - but I do know that when I take off for a few days without him - well....it's nice! :)

Please don't stress over "what might happen" this can be the worst thing of all....just know that he's a big boy and can take care of himself - he will miss you guys terribly but he will be fine!

Take advantage of the time apart and relish the kids (I know you always do but still!) and show them I AM W. HEAR ME ROAR!!

Take one of his shirts with you. See if he'd be willing to wear it for an hour before you guys leave. Or spray his cologne on it before you head out. Use his shirt as your pillow case so you can smell him and dream of him all night. :) Don't forget to take a picture of him with you and give it a peck a few times during the day. And try to have FUN with the kiddos!

When I think I have a situation that's bad, it always helps me to think about or hear about a situation that's worse than mine. So, perhaps think about what all the military wives are going through when their husbands deploy for a year, and be thankful yours is only going to be away (somewhere safe) for a few days. And remember, "absence makes the heart grow fonder." ;-)

You can be excited to see him on Wednesday!!! You saw him today and you will see him Wednesday so that is only not seeing him for two days...anybody can survive two days. Especially two days at the beach with three kids. Just think how much fun they will have, you should enjoy it too!

You're a smart cookie...you know that something/anything can happen when he goes to work everyday. We can't control this stuff.

Enjoy this time just with your kids, you and hubby will have an increased appreciation for each other on Wednesday.