I'm So Embarrassed!

Nope, not a bad mom at all! Since the cashier is young, sounds like she hasn't had much experience with young kids. Kids ask all sorts of questions about people that are different from themselves and that's okay. How else are they supposed to learn?

My kids were fascinated by people in wheel chairs for awhile. It was all I could do to restrain them from asking said people for a ride! Most adults are indulgent of these little kid antics/observations. The rest, well, they just might take themselves a wee bit too seriously. Don't worry about it! You're doing great.

I live in a very small town with hardly (if any) African Americans. We were camping at Hershey one summer when my oldest was 3.5 yrs old and he asked an elderly couple if they ate too much chocolate at the park and they chuckled and actually went along with it. They weren't offended at all and honestly kids that age don't know they are saying something they shouldn't they are bieng completely honest and innocent when they ask something like that. If the cashier was offended well then that's her problem and she probably doesn't have any kids. I wouldn't be embarrassed about it. Kids say the silliest things but they really don't mean any harm.

I know I'm late, but I had to share my story. Today, while leaving the Olive Garden, my 4 year old says VERY LOUDLY, "Why does that women have a red dot on her head?" (It was an Indian woman.) I explained that people who grew up in different places do different things. That was almost as bad as last week when he said even louder, "Look at that ugly brown thing" about 4 times (as I'm shushing him). The "ugly brown thing" was someone's dog. I told him it's not nice to say things like that, but really, what could I say? The dog was ugly! ;) They say the funniest things don't they?!?!

oh I can so relate!!! Let me tell you how I embarassed myself a few years ago not about race but about another thing....my dd was in kindergarten and we went on a field trip to the zoo one day. All day another mother and I had been chatting and getting to know one another. That night the school was having it's fall festival and I noticed my new mom friend was standing next to another lady that looked older than her but favored her little girl so much. So I walked up with my husband to say hello just as the other lady was walking away with the daughter. I asked my new friend if that was her mother with her because she favored her daughter so much. She looked at me kind of funny and said, "No, that's my partner....I'm gay, she actually gave birth to M..." That was so far from the answer I had expected and my friend could tell it I guess because she laughed and said "Wow, now we're both embarrassed!" I worried that whole night what she would think about me but you know, the next time we saw each other we just started talking like we had at the zoo, it was no big deal. Our daughter's became good friends and had spend the nights at both houses and it was never weird after that. So, I guess my advice would be to just carry on like normal. Don't avoid this lady, be polite and if she decides not to return the gesture then that's on her.

Don't be embarrassed! If you ask me you're an amazing Mom. I don't know many parents that think about teaching their young children about our President! Keep up the fantastic work Mom!

I don't understand why there's a problem at all.

I mean, why couldn't you have just said "People come in all different colors (and shapes and sizes and etc for that matter)."

I think by avoiding the cashier you're making it into an issue. You're making it seem like there's some reason your son wouldn't want to see her again. And if you think your son wouldn't notice you going out of your way to avoid her, I think you're wrong.

Race is not "over your son's head." In studies, infants as young as 6 months old can distinguish people of different races.

No you are not a bad mom. Your childs incredibly intelligent and curious.

To all of the posters here who think the cashier should have felt and responded a certain way.. here is the other side of these situation.

Please do not think bad of the girl by trying to figure out why she reacted the way she did and saying "she should be more sensitive". Unless you have been the recipient of such statements, you have no idea what it is like to be pointed out, yes, even by a young child about how you look very often.

I am "darker". A child once asked me if I was related to Lita? I said "No, who is Lita?".. He said "our maid, she has lots of kids and I thought you were one of her kids". I was embarrassed and a little put out. I deserved those feelings at that moment. I knew in my heart this child did not mean it, but I thought, does this child REALLY think anyone that looks Hispanic is a maid? Really? I just smiled and said "no I am not related to Lita".

I also have a wonderful friend that has a Masters in Business management. She is very sophisticated and I am AMAZED how many people think it is ok to ask her if she "works here" when we are at the store. She will have on amazing clothing and a handbag, but because she is African American, I guess they assume she works at Lord and Taylor and other upscale stores. It happens all of the time. Children point her out and ask why is she black. One child asked why "her lips were swollen"? She tries to be patient, but really it happens all of the time, so there will be times, when you have to also understand, a person is not as forgiving at a certain moment even if it is a child.

Do not be embarrassed to go through this cashiers line. Do just treat her as you would anyone else.

You are not a bad mom. My daughter said something embarassing about a store manager at a CVS that I go into almost daily.... it is what it is. They are learning/exploring.

I think by purposely avoiding her, you are making the matter worse. Just go about your day, shopping, etc. Act the same way you always have towards her. She did nothing wrong, you did nothing wrong. If her feelings are still hurt, she will probably mention it. I don't think that I would approach her about it, just smile. You bringing it up to her after this amount of time passing might make it worse, since hopefully she's let it pass.

For YEARS children asked me if I was Shirley Temple. (I lived in Japan as a child). Kids have a natural LOVE of recognition -we're just wired for it.

I've also been one of 200 white people on an island pop of over 1 million (signs hung in windows "No whites allowed" or "No gaijin"... and have often in my travels been either the only american or the only white person people have seen in real life (aka not on television). As a matter of fact, several of those instances have happened here in the states, when I was the first white person a whole gaggle of kids had ever seen in person (escorted into the neighborhood by a friend). But mostly, overseas.

People really are the same all over the world. Curiosity or prejudice (depending on whether or not they're angry or afraid). People have crossed the street to avoid me or have attacked me, and people have crossed the street to practice their English on me or ask me if I know or am related to ____insert famous person here____. And of course, there are always those who *emulate* the stereotype of who they think "your kind" is. (Personally I find it to be hilarious, others find it pathetic, and others find it annoying, and still others find it highly insulting).

((<laughing> I just LOVE it btw, when someone says I don't know what it's like to be a minority. It cracks me up beyond belief. More than 2/3s of my life has been spent as a minority. ))

How people react to this SO *human* thing of treating minorities differently (being avoided/mistreated OR being sought after OR people's embarrassment about not know the "right" way to treat them OR emulation OR _______) varies by EACH individual. Most people give kids a free pass. But not all people, and not in every situation.

Consistent reaction over a period of time (like soldiers who are cheered as heros, or soldiers who are spat on/attacked... or people who are constantly discriminated against or consistently revered... or race inequalities... or sex inequalities... or religious inequalities...etc ) tend to make that "group" respond in a fairly consistent way. But one never knows how an individual is going to react in any given situation, or what they will be thinking.

In my book, however, kids always get a free pass. Unless they're shooting at me. In which case they only get 1/2 a pass... because I *always* get ticked, but they're still kids. That pass ends at about age 14.

My mom says that when I was just a baby and my sister was about 2 yrs old, she was taking us back home to visit family and she was alone with the 2 of us on a plane...the flight attendant was a black man and when he came over to ask about drinks my sister said very loudly "Why are those man's hands so dirty"? My mom said she was incredibly embarrassed...but the man was very nice and told my sister that his hands were clean, he was just a different color than she was! My mom was very grateful for his compassion and understanding....but still horribly embarrassed!

Don't stress about it...kids do say the darnedest things...

And to answer your question the cashier probably wasn't thinking anything other than "Boy, that kid hasn't seen many black people".

Oh my.....you are Not a bad mom! Kids say and do inappropriate things all the time. Depending on where you live some places are not as culturally mixed as others. I grew up Very sheltered and the first time I saw a black man in a store I was actually frightened...I do not recall this but my parents tell the story and can laugh about it now, at the time it was humiliating for my mom and probably for the man as well. I thin maybe talking to her privately and apologizing might help. I think 4 is old enough to start talking about all kinds of differences. I want my children to be sensitive about things that might seem different or scary to them, I look for teaching moments always.

I would have simply explained to her that your son is very excited about learning about his country and fascinated with Pres Obama, and that he meant the security cameras in the store and not sure exactly what he means, but it is in an innocent question, and no disrespect to you.

It's always better to clarify an uncomfortable situation like that in a calm manner as opposed to not saying anything at all.

She probably thinks that he doesn't know very many black people and isn't exposed to a lot of different cultures, and that maybe he has heard talk that Obama maybe watches people?

I mean really, you cold always just go to her line and say, "I hope my son didn't offend you the other day. It's just he's really excited about learning about the president and doesn't always know how to state is questions yet. He thinks he has an amazing job that he can make such big decisions for the whole country."

I know my 4 year old has said some extremely embarrassing things and I always nicely explain what he meant and laugh and say something like, "kid say the funniest thing" and the other person laughs and it's done.

I think it's great to talk to your child about important things when they show interest, even at his age. Just take the time to clarify them to him in front of people when he asks something like that.

No. You are not a bad Mom.
You are an intelligent thoughtful Mom.

Please go into the market without your son
and speak to the cashier.
Tell her you had been explaining to him about the President,
and his importance, to your son,
and that he had been very impressed by what you had told him.

Please tell her that you're sorry if his question embarrassed her.
That his question embarrassed you.

That you'd like to come through her line with your son again,
and that you hope she will see your son not as an impolite child
but as a curious and engaged child.

Also, if you have not already done so, ask your librarian
at the children's room of your local library
for some age-appropriate books to read with your son
that show people of all different ethnic types
doing every-day regular activities.

Good luck.

You are never wrong to answer your kid's questions as honestly as possible.

She should have just thought it was a young child making the connection of a shared race which is different from his own. Based on her reaction I would say that she did not and saw it as someone being racist...people do tend to be offended for no reason.

Since you do frequent this store, I would suggest that you take a moment to quietly apologize if she took offense to your son and explain that you had explained who the President was since your son took an interest. Tell her that he really didn't mean anything by it...he was just curious.

shes being over sensitive, what your son said was cute and a normal person would have laughed and said something like "i wish i was the presidents sister"

ugh, some people want to get annoyed for no reason.

You are NOT bad! It's great you're talking to your son about the president! I know for many minorities the whole "we don't all look alike" thing is very hurtful and a sensitive issue, but honestly, when a small child says something, the person they say it to should really take a deep breath and consider the source. He certainly didn't say anything bad to her and was innocently making a connection between the appearance of one person and the appearance of another. If he had called her a racial slur, then of course that would have been horribly upsetting and she most likely would feel that he had heard it at home.

We have it SO beaten into us that we're "not supposed to see color," when that's a bunch of baloney! I personally think the fact that people look different is very interesting and adds a lot to our lives. I wondered about my oldest son for awhile because he seemed not to notice any differences (part of me though -GREAT! and part of me wondered why he had no questions) and was around a number of African American and Asian kids and teachers, and then one day I was at his preschool open house and he walked up to the teacher's son (who was African American) and, patting him on the head, said, "Hey there little brown boy!" For some reason, this really embarrassed me, but the teacher seemed to take no notice, and I just told my son -"Why don't you tell him your name and ask him his?" Currently my oldest is fascinated with Asian people, and we've gotten a number of books about different Asian cultures and talked to him more about the fact that it's not polite to remark on ANYONE's features other than to say -"You look nice today," or "I like your hair, " -that type of thing.

I think with the cashier, I would just let it go. It may make you feel even more awkward and embarrassed to say anything. Maybe as she ages or has kids of her own, she'll realize that type of comment isn't so bad and totally innocent. I'm still gritting my teeth and holding my breath waiting on one of my kids to yell out "WOW -that person is GIGANTIC!" every time we see someone so large they're on a motorized vehicle in the grocery or something of that nature (I've already taken precautionary measures -hopefully).

Some people are overly sensitive. Your son had a natural curiosity. I would not feel embarrassed at all, if any one should, it should be that cashier for acting like he was making some kind of statement when he was simply asking a question about a world he still does not full understand.

I sometimes get embarrased by things my kids say, but I'm never offended by things other kids may ask, since little kids are curious and dont know better.

My worst embarrasing moment was when my 3 year old daughter announced that the disabled girl in the line next to us looked weird. I wished I could have melted into the floor.

Please don't worry about it! I have gone through something similar.
My son has grown up in a diverse crowd, even for our small midwestern town.
His best friend is Pacific Islander, my nephew and nieces are Native American, we have friends who are Asian and Latino.....the list goes on. So....he is very used to people who look different than he, but had never mentioned it.....UNTIL...... he was 4 years old and we were in the grocery store (is it something in the air there??? haha!) and he shouted, "That man is darker than we are!" and pointed to a handsome Hispanic man in line behind us. I was beyond mortified.
So.......just so you know, if I had been in line behind you at the store, I would have understood. And I think the cashier probably understood too. Or she WILL one day when she has kids! lol!

On a side note.......I spent some time working in a housing developement in a the inner city of Chicago. A darling little boy that I encountered had never seen a white person. I made that little man CRY! Poor thing. All my blond hair and pasty skin was too much to process at at once! His mom was so apologetic......but I was not offended in the least! It happens to all of us!
Kids say the darndest things!

Cheers!

When my daughter was 4-5ish she embarrased me in a shoe store. There was a mother and children speaking another language. She said (loudy) "mommy, if they don't speak our language, why do they live in our country?"

We mom's have to hope that people understand. These are small curious children. They have big hearts and imaginations. They are not saying these things to ever hurt anyone.

OMG! I laughed so hard when i read this! lol there is no need to feel embarrassed I'm an African American woman and reading what your said said did not offend me in the least! she was probably thinking shoot i wish i was his sister! lol i wouldn't think to much of it he's only 4 with a lot of questions in his little head. the only thing i would have done was maybe correct him. and give the cashier a small apology. :)

You are by no means a bad mom. Kids say things all the time that we wish they would say when no one else is listening. Your son is an innocent child who is trying to interact with the world around him. The cashier should not have been offended and you should not avoid her line. Any one who has spent any time around children knows they say what they think, with no concept of the fact that some one else might take offense. I would just let the whole situation go.

You're not a bad mom. You have a very curious, intelligent son.

I don't have an answer for you, but a story to share. My husband and daughter both have dark skin and get very tan during the summer. We were eating dinner at our close friends house. When our god son out of the blue asked "why are hubby and daughter black?" My girl friend was embarrassed, speachless, and just wanted to hide under the table. We simply explained that everyone is different.

In a few years, you'll look back at this and laugh.

You never know some one else's back ground story. You don't know if this cashier has been fighting all of her life against color bias or stupid saying or anything. I wouldn't avoid using her line though and I would seek some clarity if you happen to see a change in face when using her line.

Communication is key to getting past these uncomfortable situations. She may not even want to really discuss it depending on her background story. Some African Americans have has terrible experiences and/or have had to listen to the family stories of what happened here with this loved one or that loved one at the hands of some one who may just look just like you. African Americans are expected to just be quite and understand the comments coming from anyone without explanation and this can really hurt to the core of your being. Once again. I don't know her background story but we all have one.

Seems to me that what you told him was who the president was and that his job involved making decisions for the country, right?
I know at least with my son, difference in skin color, eye color, hair color are just that: differences. he was observing that the cashier had the same color skin as the president and asked if she was related. What's the big deal?
It only gets weird or embarrassing when an adult runs it through their POV, know what I mean? If you ask me the cashier had a weird, unnatural response to the innocent question of a child.
Your son didn't do anything wrong. and I don't feel that the role of the president and the name of the president are "over the head" of a 4 yo. either.
***ADDED*** SA Mamma H -- Oprah?? huh?

I did not read all of your responses, so forgive me if I am being redundant. Did it occur to you that perhaps the reason she was annoyed was because he asked if she was his sister and not his daughter?

I remember when I was in college I tutored an elementary school girl. For Field Day at the school neither of the parents were available so I went to watch her and cheer her on. When I went through the lunch line with her the lunchlady said "Oh look Mom came with you today." I was horrified! I couldn't believe that someone would actually think I was old enough to have a nine year old. (Heck, I'm 36 now and I still don't think I'm old enough to have a 9 yr old)

Or it could just be that the cashier was just annoyed at being asked a "dumb question." I really wouldn't worry about the racial overtones. It was completely harmless. I would just go on as though nothing had happened.

Don't worry! Isn't i wonderful that a black woman can now be confused by a child to be the president's sister? What a compliment. Your son is not a racist, and it's great that he speaks freely.
A German girl recently asked her parent, who is a minister, whether boys could be Bundeskanzler (German president) too. How nice that times have changed liked that!

You've gotten some great responses. I vote for going through this checker's line as much as possible so that she can see how lovely your son actually is. If she was previously offended, this should help soften those feelings. I wouldn't confront her about the last episode, it will probably just make her feel uncomfortable because as a customer, she is required to be nice to you no matter what you say to her. Don't put her in that awkward position.

And now a story of mine - I was in the food store with my 3 year old who was sitting in the cart. As we walked down an aisle, a black man was walking in the opposite direction. After we passed each other, my daughter, in her loudest possible voice (why?!!) says, "MOMMY, WHY IS THAT MAN BROWN?" I was mortified!! I spun around to see if the man was upset and luckily he was laughing his head off. Whew!

We have many friends of all ethnicities so this was hardly the first time she had seen a black person. No clue why she chose that moment for her question.

No worries - it happens! Good luck!

Kids say things out of asking questions that means they say things without thinking about it they just want an answer for their curisoity.My kids have said things before really I mean to the point I get red in the face & hurry to walk by into another isle.My son at the time was 3 or 4 he seen a female who was a dwarf & ask if she was a kid & why isn't she grown up tall he however just "Mom do you see that lady over there she is short"My resposne was honey God created us all different we are of different race color our hair is,height,what we like & don't like it's not nice to point out your finger & talk about someone who is different.It would be a very boring life if we were all the same & he agreed but my conversations are long with my son he needs more info because he likes to be understood & understand what we are talking about.My daughter just the other day gets out of the car in Walmart parking lot & yell's Mom do you see that short fat man over there.Oh my she is 3 & I just told her it's not nice to make a remark like that so loudly we can talk about it later & she forgot all about it.

Of course you feel embarrassed. I would, too! But there is NO WAY to anticipate all the possible embarrassing questions and comments that will emerge from our children's mouths. Most adults know this, and can take it in stride. Strong racial feelings may make this a bit tricker for both the cashier and you.

You can't really begin to guess what this checker was thinking, and it's really unproductive to go there. She has every right to her feelings, whatever they are, just as you have every right to be embarrassed. Feelings are just feelings, they visit us and we can't always prevent that.

What you CAN do is go through her line in the near future, and tell her outright that you wish your son's questions had come out differently. Tell her you hope she has no hard feelings, but if she does, you understand she has a right to them. Depending on how she responds, you could ask her if there's anything you can do to help her feel better about it, or smile, shrug apologetically, and tell her you have talked to your son about his misunderstandings.

Your son can hear you say these things – it's a wonderful thing for our children to hear how adults patch things up. You could even tell him ahead of time that you'll be doing this, not because you think he should have known better, but because the woman may be having some very uncomfortable feelings, and you'd like to help her feel better. If he wanted to, your son could also offer his own apology, but I wouldn't force him to do so. He meant no harm.

You can't control what she feels. If she still acts unfriendly, you can either use other cashiers' lines (possibly confirming her opinions), or just keep going through her line and being friendly. She'll probably come around.

You and your son are just fine. I just wanted to share my little story. I was in Target with my then 2 y/o son. We saw a bearded man (who looks nothing like my husband). My son yells out "Is that my daddy?" The man laughed and said "not that I know of." Quite honestly I think my son used the term "daddy" to mean "man." He has even said, quite loudly, "why is that man so fat?" They all do it and anyone who has been around kids knows it.

Who knows what went through her head. Your son did nothing wrong. If it were me, I'd say, "No, if I were, I hope I'd have a better job," and make a joke out of it.

I'm not white and I don't get offended when children notice. As for being related, she's probably been called "oprah" in a derrogatory way, so that might be where the feeling comes from.

Let it go.

I agree with all the other moms. Your son's question was innocent and he was just noticing the differences, not commenting on them in a negative way at all.
If the cashier is still treating you coldly, take a moment when your son is NOT in earshot and apologize for his remark. Don't be embarrassed though, as there was nothing wrong with his question. Make sure he does not hear you apologize so he doesn't think he did something wrong.

I think it's good that you're teaching him about the president, especially if he's curious and asking questions.

Oh my gosh! You are totally overreating/overthinking this? He is only 4 years old. They all say embarrassing things. Kids are embarrassing at the store a ton of the time.

I agree that the lady, if she was mad, has no place to be mad. When I was a kid, I was at KFC and saw my first black people. I yelled loudly, "Mommy! Why do those men have dark faces?" The men just laughed. They didn't care. I am sure that with my mom being a SAHM and my social life being my extended family, that she was a bit embarrassed.

My kids have yelled out loudly "Here comes a really fat guy! Or why is our neighbor so fat! Once my 3 year old yelled at her skinny swim teacher, "hey fatty!"

Don't worry. Soon after 9-11 when my daughter would see a Muslim man, especially someone with a turban on, she would ask.........."Is he a Terrorist"

This happened multiple times, even on a plane.

Kids say things, they are curious and adults need to know that sometimes what comes out of their mouth is not directed at someone negatively.

she thinks your son has compartmentalized all black people in some way, but i am unsure of how she exactly is interpreting it. if she was offended, then obviously the offense comes from other past experiences, and as an adult, she shouldnt put a child in the same category.

maybe she has no children, or else would know his comment was a normal thing kids say. i also dont think its bad what he said. your son is connecting her ethinicity to the President of the United States, that is a positive. and a 4 year old knows the name of the president, also a positive.

i really wouldnt worry about it simply because the statement itself was not offensive, your child is 4 years old, and there was no intention. my daughter when describing someone says "the girl with the dark skin". she says it no different than if they had blond hair, or a red top. she says it for tan white, asian, hispanic, and black. she doesnt say it as a negative, uses it for all nationalities, and it is the truth. i dont fault her for it, as she is a child and still completely unaware of any differences or prejudices in this world.

you are a wonderful mother considering you taught your son about the president, and im sure didnt focus on his race, as everyone else does. dont stop, education is the best way to teach him about the world and all the different people in it. good luck.

It may be embarassing for you, but I think adorable. You are not teaching him things that are over his head, if he wants to know who the president is by all means tell him. You may have a future president on your hands, based on how interested he is in the job at 4!
If anyone handled the situation incorrectly, it was the cashier, how did she not crack up?

I will just tell a quick story about my 19 month old, I'm sure I'm in for much worse with my little pistol. As all moms know, and many have mentioned on here, some kids say some words a little different. As they are learning to speak, words don't come out correctly. My daughter says "fork" everytime she sees one, but it doesn't sound like she's saying "fork" it sounds much more like a word my daughter has never heard! Well we were doing our grocery shopping the other day and my DD was in the cart just talking her head off about everything she was seeing, babbling, etc. All of a sudden she sees a little kids cutlery set hanging up off one of the shelves. She starts yelling "f*ck peees" meaning "fork, please" but not at all what it sounds like, I was so embarassed there were other people in the aisle and I'm sure aisles on either side could hear her as well. I just tried explaining, "she wants the fork, she wants the fork" emphasizing the word "FORK" Thankfully everyone around us laughed politely and commented on how adorable she was. My husband and I got a good laugh out of it later, but I sure hope no one thinks I'm teaching my daughter that kind of language.

I don't think that what your son said was offensive or prejudice, but it just alerts you that there is a need for education or exposure in the area of diversity. Books can only provide so much knowledge. You can only get to know people by spending time with them.

As an African American and the mother of a 6-year-old, I am always looking for ways to expose my son to other cultures. We somewhat lucked out in our neighborhood. In the cul-de-sac where we live are Phillipino, Mexican, Indian, Caucasian, and African American kids. One set of kids have two mommies. They play together everyday (when the weather is nice) and never have an issue related to ethnicity. Another parent and I call it the United Nations.

When I choose activities for my son, I try to ensure that it is ethnically diversed. We even attend a culturally mixed church. This will not solve all prejudice issues, but it will hopefully make him more tolerant.

It's good that you have diversity books for your kids. As for your daughter's best friends - just be aware that simply knowing people of different ethnicities doesn't automatically counter racial prejudice. We need to be able to talk about these things explicitly with our children.

In your story here, you could have said, "I doubt she's his sister, but she is black like the president, and you and I are white/Latin@/whatever." There's nothing wrong with noticing a person's race.

You can't know what was going through the cashier's head. I'm sure she's heard it all before. Rather, you need to think about is what's going through your son's head. While we need to be careful not to project issues onto our kids' thoughts, there are a number of ways you could continue the conversation. Have the two of you think about various people you know who are white or black or Latin@ or Asian, etc. You could even open up the topic of racial discrimination to say, "Yes, the president is black. There are some people who think only white people should be president. What do you think of that? or That doesn't sound fair to me." For that matter, raise the issue that some folks only think men should be president!

In a nutshell, your kids will notice these things. It's our job as parents to determine how we want to guide them in that thinking.

Good luck with future conversations!

I am betting I am in for some of the same things people have mention here. I thought it would make you chuckle to find out what my daughter DID that embarrassed me to no end. My mother, daughter and I went out to eat at a decent restaurant. My daughter was sitting and playing in her high chair. She was around a year and a half old. I glance at her often since she is prone to tricks that rival Houdini. I was watching her when an admittedly nice looking man walked past her to get to his booth. She casually reached out and touched his rear end! I about died! Everyone seemed to get a good laugh about it, but even though I was laughing too, I was SOOO embarassed. My daughter is such a flirt and when he turned his attention to her, she ate it up. Thankfully, we left soon after, but that gentleman made a point of smiling at her and saying goodbye. As we were walking out, I made it a point of telling my daughter that HE was way too old for her. :-)

I would be embrassed also. But she has to lighten up its a 4 yrs old. We raise our kids to treat people they way they wanted to be treated ..with kindness. But unfortately things get said by accident.
When my oldest son was just learing to talk the word he said for juice sounded an awful lot like "jew" we worked on the proper pronouning but one day we were at a food court. He said "JEW" really loud. He was staring at a women close by.I turned bright red. I don't know if I handled it correctly. The women was staring at me after that so I thought she deserved an explanation. I told too much..that we don't like that don't teach our children to talk nasty. Then the women smiled at me. I felt better. After I explained he was trying to say "juice" still embrassing.

I love these posts! Here's mine:

My kids and I were walking through Home Depot and we passed an Asian couple. My kids started chanting I-CHI-RO! I-CHI-RO!

It happens! Kids aren't saying these things to be hurtful or malicious, it's just how they're trying to figure out this big complex world we live in.

I would use this as a learning situation. I try to teach my children that we have to be more considerate of others feelings before we blurt things out. Even if this wasn't a race situation, my oldest, when she was about three, blurted out in front of a cashier "Why is she covered in spots?". (The woman had every visible inch of her body covered in freckles.) I apologized for it and talked to my daughter right after about how sometimes we have questions or comments that make people sad or mad. I don't discourage questions ever but if she is ever curious or uncertain she will take me to the side and talk to me privately about it first so she doesn't hurt feelings or say something that might be inappropriate. At this point she has learned from these side bars, her own judgment of most of what is appropriate in what situation.

my son has a black friend and we are white. the city is mostly mexican though. in his book he pointed out a kid that was " dirty" it was the black kid. the book is no no david (or something like that ). the artists drawings did make most of the kids have a dirty look but truly the kid did look dirty. i explained as much as i could. then in another book he said a kid was dirty. oh great we have a problem. try explaining to a 2 1/2 yr old about pigment and how God made us all different colors. it dosent wipe off! uggh. I am extreamly pale as is my hubby and both of my kids. One of my brothers is very dark tan, and looks hispanic. At the store with my hubby he told my hubby "look that boy is not dirty".we have a friend that is black. DS second cousins are half. his cousin is asian. we only see them on the holidays but he has never discovered this before. i would not be as embarassed if it werent for how offended the other person becomes. but just when i think were walking on egg shells for something that was long ago,i will encounter a true racist and that is truly scary. BTW growing up in the same city were innow , race was neer an issue. truly everyone behaved the same way untill highschool i did not notice any hatered between anyone before that!

I grew up in a mexican family (I'm the only one that looks 'white') and even I had a moment of craziness! :)
When my mom brought home her boyfriend for the first time (I was about 3 and he was AfAm) I'm told I sat near him on the couch and kept scooting closer and closer. Finally I reached out and rubbed my hand very lightly against his arm & checked to see if his color had rubbed off!
I'm sure my mom was mortified. What makes it truly funny to me is that I have always lived with people 'of color' - what made him different I have no idea! :)
Don't worry too much. Make sure to go through her line at the store and be open and friendly. Maybe make a light comment on how curious little kids are. It'll blow over! :)

ha- just today a 5 year old asked me, "What's wrong with your skin? What happened to your face? and your neck?" Turns out he was referring to my freckles. No worries, I have kids, I get it. They're just curious and they have no tact.

My 2 year old heard my husband say "GD" one time when he injured himself trying to fix something. Well the little parrot has repeated it frequently since and no matter what I say or do or don't do, he doesn't seem to want to stop. Worst of all, he seems to have figured out when to "properly" use it! His sitter mentioned his "interesting" language one day. Thankfully, I explained and she understood as she knows how he is once he gets something in his head! My stepson, who is 14, went with me somewhere and the parking lot had designated "visitor" parking spots but they were marked "vistor" which I found hilarious! So, as I am chuckling about it, he says LOUDLY "it must have been done by some Mexican." You could have knocked me over! I was mortified. His best friends are African Am and Asian and he is really good friends with an Indian girl. My SIL is married to an AfAm and they have 3 bi-racial children - his cousins whom he adores! He himself is German, English, Native American and Jewish. You better believe I drug him aside and questioned/lectured him long and hard about where he heard that and why he said it. Kids, even older ones, just don't think sometimes!

This isn't an ethnic one, but it is funny and be careful what you do with your kids in view.

A friend of mine used to tease his wife when she wore a skirt. She didn't wear one often, this is probably why.

My friend took his son to a furniture place to look at sofas. There was a woman that worked there, but wasn't the one waiting on him and his son. This woman walked by and the son promptly reached over and said weeeeee as he lifted the woman's skirt up to let it billow back down. Talk about embarassed. My friend had very pale skin with a slight reddish tint to begin with. Well, the color of tomato was the color when he grabbed his son and left quickly.

It was all my friend's fault, that is exactly what he used to do to his wife. Sometimes, we even need to learn life's lessons....

we were in a hot tub with our daughters 3 and 5 and an african american man got in and my eldest said 'he can't come in here, he's too brown.' luckily the man had earphones on and didn't seem to hear but i said 'well what about daddy, he's brown too (chinese). we're all different and we can all use the hot tub.'

another time we were in tacotime and there was an obese woman sitting at the next table and my daughter said 'she's fat' pretty loudly. all i could say was that we're all different. still mortified inside tho.

Hello, Your son is a child and children always ask a lot of questions. Maybe you could as the young lady if you could speak to her without your son and let her know your feelings. Also, I will share what happen to my daughter during her first year in college. She went to school in PA, when she went into town a little Amish boy followed her thru the store and asked and asked if he could rub her arm and she said yes and asked why. He said because he wanted to see if it would come off and he also asked about her hair, he said that his grandmother only braided her hair at night and why did she still have her hair braided and he wanted to feel it. She let him do it. His mother was so red because she was embarrassed that he was asking those questions. My daughter explained to the mom that he is a child and don't see a lot of blacks so he wanted to know and she told the mom that she was glad that he asked her because she didn't mind and understood. So sometimes the parents are more embarrassed than the person the child made the comment. Stop worrrying and if it make you feel better talk to the young lady. Your son will ask a lot of questions so be ready. Have a great day

Maybe she just isn't a fan of President Obama, so being compared to him because of her skin color, by a four year old, just rubbed her the wrong way.

:)
Either way, the story was funny!
KATIE