I'm an Ungrateful Wife :)

i would talk to him about it, I would tell him that you love the gift but think that they are too expensive and would actually appreciate the man made diamonds instead of the more expensive ones

I always tell my children, "It's the thought that counts." Though if it was an ugly sweater or a waffle iron, I would probably say something to my husband. But those earrings were probably a big deal for him to give to you. (I agree with Allison O.)

BTW, I totally agree with you about the blood diamonds. I can't even buy coffee now unless it's fair trade. Thanks, PBS!!

Just suck it up and put them on! Men can be so clueless, just be happy that he remembered and actually got you a nice gift!! I would not mention any unhappiness about them or he will never try to suprise you again.

Right now, I am wearing a ring that I don't care for, it is a mothers ring, and I had always wanted to have one made with a diamond, an opal and an emerald, all square cut and channel set. My husband took the kids to a jewelry store last mothers day, and let them pick it out, and my October child wanted the pink zirconia, so, that is what is in my mothers ring. Reminds me every day that we really get so little in life that we want, but it is perfect nonetheless.

Wear them. Love them. They are perfect now, matter where they may wavecom from, or how they make your ears look, the one who is looking (and feeling the happiness of giving) is the only one who needs to see the perfection.

M.

Say nothing, but how pretty they are. Wear them often and appreciate your husband for buying them for you. If you say anything, you will bust his bubble, and he will probably never buy you jewelry again.

I myself would be so happy that my husband took the time to pick them out regardless of the size or if I liked them. Husbands like that are few and far between. Enjoy your gift.

It sounds like he put in a ton of thought with this gift. I would discuss this with him and see how he feels. My husband would totally understand and respect my feelings without hurting his. I wouldn't say you are unappreciative you just know how those diamonds got here.

If it were something relatively inexpensive then I wouldn't say anything but an $800 gift should be something that you love and treasure. I think you should gently ask him if he would be OK with going back to the store to choose something that's more your style. Bringing up the aversion to diamonds would be OK, mentioning that they look small on your ears would be not okay. Be apologetic and grateful and sheepish, but do it. He sounds like the kind of guy who is splurging because he wanted to wow you with something that you would love and treasure, so let him know that you DO love the thought behind the gift, but that you would like to pick out something more suitable with his "blessing" so that you can really have something that you can wear without guilt.

If you don't say anything now and then he notices later that you don't wear them enthusiastically, he may be put off by hearing the truth later. My husband surprised me with a bike early in our marriage and I didn't have the experience to know that it didn't fit me at the time I first got it but I eventually figured it out and don't use it a whole lot. I got somewhat serious about biking last summer and made the case that I would be buying a bike and he was quite offended that the bike he bought wasn't "good enough" and I finally had to show him how much it didn't fit me (way too small) so that he would stop taking my desire for a bike that fits less personally.

FWIW my husband and I would have no problem telling each other that something was a great thought but just not quite right at this stage in our marriage, we would be more put off by the other person pretending to like something when there is still the opportunity to change out a gift for something else.

While there are blood diamonds out there. Not all diamond stores are associated with them....

That being said, those are a very generous gift. A 3/4 carat looks tiny? I think that the knowledge is effecting your reaction and your view. If you truely are uncomfortable wearing them, I'd just be honest and explain to your hubby and perhaps exchange them for some other gem that you would be more comfortable with. At that cost, its better to be honest now so that you can enjoy the gift then to keep quiet and have him think you are a spoiled ... for not wearing them.

M.

I would appreciate the fact that hubby went out, selected something just for me and put that much thought into it. Not many men do that.

I too, am one of the lucky ones that gets surprised at times with a special gift. I just make sure he knows I appreciate whatever it is. Things could be worse.... we could have no money and he not be able to buy something nice OR he could be the type who really does not care and would prefer to spend any money on himself.

I recall when my mom got engaged to her 2nd hubby, she hated the ring becauase it was not a solitare. She told him.Yes, he took it back and got whae SHE wanted and 7 yrs later, they were divorced.

After witnessing that at 18 and seeing the hurt in his face, I swore that no matter how ugly I thought something was if my husband was kind enough to choose it for me, I would wear it with grace and style and be appreciative.

Well, you know your husband best...if you really don't want the earrings and telling him would not upset him, then you should take them back and shop together for something you'd like better. Or, you could keep them and give to your daughter when she's older.

Personally, I would keep them, because there's no way I could return them without hurting hubby's feelings.

I'm confused as to why you'd put a smiley face behind saying you're ungrateful...

Wear the earrings and be grateful for your life. Every time you see them, remind yourself all that you have and all your blessings. You're not crazy. Unappreciative, yes. Crazy, no.

Return them and use the $$ for something special for your family !

I don't think you are crazy at all. I totally understand wanting the earrings to look good/right. I am confused how you would know whether these are "blood diamonds" or not, but moving on....

I would, regardless of whether I loved the earrings or not, wear them with a smile. This probably won't be the last time hubby gets you earrings, and maybe in the future you can point out pairs you like at the store, in a hinting yet subtle manner. Until you can retire this pair for a new pair, wear them knowing your hubby loves you.

LOL
I keep telling my husband he has to surprise M. with some gift but he never does. He thinks I am too hard to please I guess, he never buys M. anything unless it's what I want. So all my gifts are my choices. I so wish he just surprises M. one day with a gift I would totally love!!
I don't have an advise for you other than say discuss this with your husband. He might be happy to have you exchange it for something you would love because it's a lot of money.

i tried telling my husband i didn't like some boots he picked out for me, and he pouted for about 6 months and i doubt he will ever forgive me.

if you hubby is the least bit like this just suck it up.

it does stink though because you'll always think those thoughts instead of good ones.

I would feel guilty about returning them since your husband put effort into the gift.

But, thats just me. If you feel the need to return, then do so.

I would tell him how wonderful he is, and how grateful you are... but that you have deep guilt about them since you've learned about the blood diamond mining/child slave industry. Return them and pick out something wonderful. I have similar feelings about diamonds... if I ever get another, it will be a raw herkimer diamond.

I think it's ok to think it, don't say it! Im with you, diamonds don't impress me. Besides my wedding rings, I dont want any. Unlike wedding rings you take other jewelry off, i don't want that responsibility to not lose it. Id rather enjoy an evening out, take a small trip, etc.
BUT he probably feels like he did a great thing, so just thank him and appreciate the sentiment behind it!

Depends on your husband. Will he get his feelings hurt? You have to weigh it that way I think.

I usually give my husband a "wish list" now to avoid this. That way I am not disappointed and he feels good that he made me happy.

DO NOT SAY ANYTHING TO HIM! Men want to do specials things like this because it makes them feel good to do it. If you dont him do it for you , he will do it for someone else (you can take that however you want). Im talking from experience with my own father, bf & my all male co-workers.

I would get a second hole and wear them there. I totally get you that they may be too small for your ears, so go with the 2nd hole OR wear them when youre casual.

PS Imagine if you got him something you were excited about and then he suggested he return it...

Return 'em and get something that you would find useful...
Personally if I am gonna have the real thing in my ears they better be big....! LOL

Tell him how much you appreciate his thoughtfulness but the gift is just not your style. I don't like earrings like that either, my jaw line is very square and to me they make it look more square. Since you do not want diamonds ask him if you and he could go back to the store and select something else. You could get a necklace with matching earings with his and yours birthstones. Jewelers will often customise a piece for you for no extra cost unless the stones are more expensive, or they sometimes have blank settings and you pick out the stones.
I saw the movie with Leonard DiCappio, Blood Diamond, and was horrified. I know there is a lot of corruption in the diamond trade but all diamonds are engraved with a microscopic number that identifies where it came from. Your diamonds may not be blood diamonds but diamonds mined legally. You Jeweler can trace the diamonds orgin.

I wouldn't say anything since this might hurt his feelings. If I didn't like a pair of earrings my hubby gave me I would just wear them sometimes when we go out together to please him, but that is just me. I would just appreciate the gesture and wouldn't wear too often.

I get the blood diamond thing. That doesn't make you unappreciative. The size thing.....yeah, Im sorry, but that's a bit out there. Especially since it's the most extravagant gift he's ever given you. He was trying to wow you. I would never mention any of that under any circumstances if I were you!

I am passive agressive. I would rent the movie and watch it with him (Or remind him that we watched it) and then tell him that I just wouldn't feel right keeping them and that I would be just as happy with a lab created diamond. I would ask if that would hurt his feelings and he'd say of course not. Then I'd tell him we could spend the differance on a new tv for the bedroom or a weekend trip together or something. Then when you shop for the replacements get the ones you want and make a joke out of "Oh honey., look at the big honkin rocks you bought me."

Tell him he has fabulous taste... and you appreciate his getting you such a great gift. Then say - let's return the diamonds and look for moissanite earrings in the same price range.

Moissanite is a simulated diamond alternative - original compound was found in a meteor. The hardness rating is similar but will have more brilliance and refraction that make it look much more beautiful. You may be able to find a full carat for $800. They are so comparative to diamonds, that tho they cost less, it's not by a huge margin.

You know your hubby best, so try to make a decission that's best for your marraige.

You're not ungrateful. You appreciate the jester, that's what's important.

My hubby has bought me some jewelry that I absolutely hate. I didn't want to hurt his feelings so I didn't say anything, I just keep it in my jewelry box and rarely wear it.

I think you should not say anything and just wear them.
Moving forward - make sure in advance to point out things that really interest you. Like if you are out shopping "Oh honey - that Coach purse is SOOOOO cute." That's what I do. That way he is sure to pick out just the right gift next time. :)

Two ways to look at this... if you came right out and told him that you didn't want any more diamonds, then thank him so much for the incredibly generous gift, but could you return them and go together to pick something out?

If you just mentioned it in passing, then I would be a little more delicate about it. Honestly, if they are going to sit in a jewelry box, then it's a waste. Years ago my father gave my mother a diamond cocktail ring that she really really didn't like. She called the jeweler to find out the return policy (if it can't be returned then don't bother) and found out that she could return it with the receipt as long as she purchased something of equal or greater value. She then mentioned to my father that while the diamond ring was very thoughtful she couldn't imagine herself wearing it enough and didn't want it to just sit- so could they go together and have her engagement ring reset.

Tread softly though b/c he's probably really proud of his purchase. You know him and how he would react, but if you really aren't going to wear them, find a way to return them.

You're not ungrateful, but I wouldn't mention the fact that they look tiny or the "blood diamond" thing- he was just trying to be sweet.