I found out today that my son (almost 6) is going around the back of his school bus to cross an alley when he gets off. The bus driver asked him not to do this, but he continued to do it, so she brought this behavior to our attention. Of course, this is a safety issue, but it's also a respect issue--not respecting the adult in charge (who's there to make sure you're safe, kiddo!).
I'm curious about what any of you have done when kids are not respecting an authority figure. My son can be very stubborn will sometimes challenge my authority, but he does ultimately comply. (I have options to take away privileges.) But when your child is with an adult who can only do so much, like a bus driver...?
Read this book. Had to use it with my own kids and the neighbor kids, too. It works!
"No: Why Kids--of All Ages--Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It" by David Walsh
Let your son know that the bus driver does have the authority to ban him from riding the bus if he can't obey the rules. Explain that rules are there for his safety and go over the bus rules at home with him. Show him what could happen if he walks behind a bus and a car comes by - most drivers would not look for a child at the back of the bus and he could get hit by the car. If he's seen you in a situation where you have to set rules for his friends in your home, explain to him how you'd feel about that friend if he didn't listen to your rules (and how you wouldn't want to invite the friend over again). Then put the situation on him and explain how if he doesn't listen to other adults, the same thing will happen to him.
I am kind of paranoid about bus safety and I agree that someone should meet him at the bus stop. Does your daughter ride the same bus? Can you insist that she hold his hand or that he stays with her? You might also want to get the school principal involved. At our school the principal is very concerned about bus safety and has gotten involved when I've had safety concerns. It might also impress upon your son what a serious matter it is. As for generally respecting adults I don't know what to tell you. My boys are kind of the opposite--they generally listen better to other adult authority figures than they do to us.
Who is home when your son gets home? That adult should meet him off the bus every day for a certain period of time (2 weeks?), and you should let him know that he needs to earn your trust back.
He needs to respect and listened to trusted adults -- such as the bus driver -- and he needs to follow basic safety rules.
