Ideas for Dad, When Moms Not Home

My kids almost always will calm down if I take them outside. Can he take them for a walk around the block with a stroller and front pack?

My husband used to hold the baby close and do really deep knee bend bounces, almost jumping at the top, and this would almost startle them out of crying and calm them down really quickly. Also, try holding the baby on his chest and humming in a deep low voice, babies seem to like the vibration of that sometimes.

Hi T.,

Have you heard of Harvey Karp's "Happiest Baby On the Block"? Our hospital used the video during childbirth class, and my husband found it really helpful. It gives several suggestions for soothing infants. My husband had never spent time around babies and didn't know what to do at all. If daddy is not confident what to do to calm your son, he may find the techniques helpful.

The library system where I live (King County, WA) has several copies of the video and book.

i just wanted to say he sounds like an awesome guy for trying so hard. and that sometimes he may not be able to fix everything and its still OK as long as he is being loving and keeps trying. we had a super colicky baby and sometimes there was nothing you could do to stop the screaming, just be there and keep trying. i felt like he was goign to be permanently scarred, but after months of that, our baby turned out to be completey happy and easy going, and EVERYTHING got way easier. tell him to relax and just do the best he can- taking care of two under two in the evening is a handful!
good luck in school and kudos to your guy for being supportive!

I second the vote for reading (or watching) Harvey Karp's The Happiest Baby on the Block. Great ideas and several of them worked like a charm for us. Noteworthy is that one or two techniques worked for me and a couple of others worked for my husband.

Also - my husband was trying to calm our screaming son one night when he was about 3 months (it was
Christmastime). My husband began to get frustrated and starting belting out "O Little Town of Bethlehem" over our son's screams - and guess what? Our baby calmed almost immediately. Something about the driving rhythm of song answered his needs. He just turned two and my husband still sings it to him when he's upset and it still works like a charm. Your husband will soon find his groove with Jayden little one as I'm sure he has with Wyatt.

1. Give him a beer. Dad, that is, not the baby.

2. Give him a safe place to put baby when he reaches level 10 frustration. The crib or a playpen would work.

3. Tell him my baby screamed for everyone except me, until he turned 5 months. You're in the home stretch.

Good luck,
AMD

That type of crying, the loud screaming and locking the body up sounds like baby might be in pain. Possibly gas, constipation, etc. I would look into the reason for the tears not just how to stop them. When he is crying like that walk your fingers around his belly and see if touching in certain areas causes him more pain. Maybe try some Mylicon for gas. Also, tell dad that if he feels frustrated the baby senses it. It is ok to lay baby down and walk away to cool down before trying to help baby again.

Get a really big sweat shirt and wear it around the house on the day you have to go to school so it will smell like you. Then when you go to school, give it to dad to wear and put the baby in a front pack. He will smell the shirt and think he is on you. Give it a try and it might work. He is in separation anxiety and it will pass. (It is a sign of intelligence and sensitivity.) Soon for your sake I hope.

that's tough. they're so little at that age. holding the baby close to his heart is a good start. they love to be cuddled and feel safe at that age.

HI, try having dad be responsible while you are at home (like over the weekend) have him do everything. You should go in your corner and work on your studies. (out of sight) When you hear or see the day at his last string, step in. You may even see what he may try instead of what he is doing. When you do leave in the evenings ask an friend, family member or hire someone to help him. Most kids go through separation anxiety and will get over it. Good Luck

we have the exact opposite trouble at my house. i am a working mom and my hubby is a stay home daddy who is also the one that gets up with our baby at night for feedings (isn't he wonderful!) is has just kinda worked out that he takes care of the younger one primarily and i take care of our preschooler. last weekend he was out in the evening and i was doing the evening routine. she would have none of it. screamed the entire time he was gone. i understand what your fiance is going thru! it is so frustrating and makes you feel so bad about yourself. i ended up putting her in her bed and getting her to take a bottle that way and she eventually fell asleep. i don't know what would work in your situation, but tell your man that i feel his pain and that it does get better. we went thru this with our older and it was a horrible, emotional, self-doubt filled time, but we are thru it now and she and i are very close. it's just the routine they are stuck on and it takes a while to get something new established. tell him to stick with it and soon it will be the norm for everyone!