I Want My Daughter to Have a Better Relationship with Her Daddy

I am working on the same problem. My daughter does not want to be around her Dady. She is clingy in general, but with him, I think she looks at him as someone who is taking her away from Mommy. I've realized probably the same thing you've realized, that they d better when I'm not around. I have to actually leave the house, because as long as I'm in another room, she knows it. She really likes talking walks with him and exploring the outdoors. I think part of it is that he doesn't know how to keep her stimulated enough, so when they go out and explore new things, it's better for them both. Hope it helps.

V.,
She is little, she will grow closer to her dad with time. What she needs is love and emotional support. So she is not that close to him yet. Ok with time it will get better. Be careful, very few people would expect anyone to hurt their children.
Dont force her to have to let him carry her. If she doesnt want his company, then she doesnt want his company. When she sees that he loves her and the relationship is a healthy one, then she will develop an attachment to him.
Many 18 month olds dont want anyone to hold them, they are too busy exploring the world. Maybe the timing is just off. Maybe he could play with her and her favorite toy or game.
Dont wrack yourself with guilt, it is going to take some time, less worry.

Give her some time. 18 months is an age when so much is going on. They are becoming much more physically competent and talking more. All this growing can create uncertainty in their world. Although it is important for him to maintain the limits, let their relationship be based on play and fun. Let her approach him with play ideas and have Dad be there and ready to respond (ie: sitting in her play space smiling and saying kind words about what she's doing, until she comes to him with a toy to explore together, make sure he follows her play ideas not the opposite) She may feel your tension so it is a good idea for you to let the relationship blossom by giving them some alone time...but don't leave or go too far! The last thing you want her to connect is "when I play with him, that means mommy is going to leave!" Don't force the relationship like make her sit on his lap, make her kiss him goodbye etc. Suggest it and if she says no, have him say something like "that's ok, I love you." If this relationship building is your focus then keep everything else in her life as static as possible...ie: no potty training, no switching rooms or beds, no new babysitters until you, your husband, and daughter are in a better place about the relationship. Also remember children switch "favorites" as they grow she may be identifying with you more right now and will grow more into a Daddy's girl as she grows. You can do it :)!!!

What have you tried? My husband came into my son's life around that same time. My husband did everything with him and still does. He needs to take her to do something she loves and have fun with her rather than JUST laying down the law all the time. Have him call it "his name and her name" time where they do something special with just the 2 of them. The first time or 2, you should be there. She also needs to adjust to him and if you are coming to her rescue everytime she cries or he is passing her back when he holds her, she is not going to get used to the idea. He needs to work on soothing her and sooner or later she will calm down. Also, just talk to her about it. Point out the good things and have her talk to you abou tit as well, I know she is young and this may be a little difficult, but it may help. Pretty soon, you are going to be jealous about how she seems to like him better than you, I know I was joking about it a lot when my son was little!!

What exactly do you mean by lay down the law? If he spanks her, or yells at her, it makes sense that she doesn't what to be around him.

Every child is different, and you may just have a sensitive little girl on you hands. A gentler approach may be more effective for her, then laying down the law.

But, it also may just take time. My little girl is just now warming up to her daddy and she is almost 18 months.

Is this her real father? if so some babies tend to act that way for a while. my daughter crys alot when i hand her to her father. my mom says its just something babies do till they get to a certain age.

If you are sure that he is a wonderful man who would do nothing to hurt her then just step back and let it happen. If he tries to hard or you stress over it she may begin to use it as a weapon, not unlike kids with their biological parents. Kids play one against the other to get what they want. She will in time see what you see in time.

maybe they need to have a father daughter outing. My daughter went threw a phase like this due to deployment. So he would take her out to a park or to go get some icecream. Even if its just to the store. Finally she started getting used to the idea of being with him and realizing that dad can be fun too.

It sounds like he is doing everything he can. She just may be really clingy to mommy right now. Maybe let him do all the "take care" of things w/ her. Like bathe her, feed her, change her, etc... and you just step back and do the things w/ the boys.

Or, you could just let it happen. It sounds like she is going through a phase and she will probably come around.

best of luck to you and your family

Hi V.,
My son was that way with his father, I am such a hands on mom and stayed at home so I was with him 24/7. Finally, I left the two of them home together for a day when my son was about 15 months old, that meant that daddy did everything and my son had to go to him for comforting, nap, food etc. Once my son realized that daddy could do what mama could, things got better, of course I'm usually still preferred if I'm around still and Ryan is almost 2 :)

Best of luck to you, and there will be a day when daddy's girl emerges!!

Children are very smart. Not to point figures but I was molested by my biological father and NO ONE would have guessed it...per say. I am not saying he is jsut letting you know that the ones that you think won't are sometimes the ones that do because it is easier to get away with if people do not suspect you. Anyways like I said they are smart and pick up on things very quickly and maybe she feels a harshness about it because for a little one that age not wanting to be around her daddy...there is usually a reason. My little girl is 18 months and ADORES her daddy. She just cannot get enough of him

First, let them go out together and work on their relationship. They need some Daddy/Daughter time together. They have to build their relationship up, not you. You have a relationship with your daughter. She might prefer you over him right now. If he plays with her and they spend time together, you might find out that this changes. My daughter goes through phases. For awhile, I felt like I was only an incubation device. She wanted her Daddy and no one else. (I was pregnant with her and she woke him up at 5 a.m. by kicking him in the back through me)

Now, she wants time with us both. You can go out and do the shopping and let him take care of her. If he plays with her and loves on her, she'll get the idea. :)

Take care and good luck!
K.

The relationship will happen, especially if Dad just lets it be what it is for a while and doesn't push.

18 month olds can go through a "stranger" phase - and that can include Dad, Grandma, Grandpa, and siblings! My daughter went through the same thing at that age with her grandparents, whom we saw at least 3x a week since she was born! After a few months (continuing the visits) she got better. She is now 2 1/2 and has a great relationship with everybody.

Hang in there :)

You didn't say if your DD is his baby or when she met him. My son met my now DH when he was 10 months and he responded very well. But of course they are both males and my Dh always took him out and had fun.
What I would sugget is let them have more one on one time just by themselves. Also talking to your fiance to see if he feels the same way you do. Your finance doesn't play favors does he- being he will take his sons places and leave her. Children have this thing will they observe everything... Also you'll should be on agreement on punishments and stick to it. Maybe if she see that you'll have the same rules she won't think that he is being more strict- although i find it hard for he to see this now.
Another thing never agrue in front of her when you'll are discipling her. She will see that she can make you fight and she play one of you are her side.
Good Luck
Hope things go well....