This is my first time on here and I just think this site is great for any mother. I have a almost 5 year old daughter who is just wonderful, she really doesn't give me too much of a hard time on anything and I also have a 2 year old son who again is pretty easy to please. My problem, they both go to sleep in my bed. I am sure this is all my fault but for me it is just easier they both go to bed by 7:30 p.m. and are both up around 7 since my daughter goes to Pre-K. My dilemma is how do I transition her back to her own bed now that she is so much older. And I forgot to mention they share a bedroom and I have no idea how to put them both to bed without them coming into mine. My husband and I have not had our bed to ourselves in years! Any advice on what to do? My doctor doesnt seem to think it is a big deal and says that she wont do it for too much longer so let her stop on her own and most likely once she is out he would want to follow but I am not sure if that is very good advice.
That is a hard habit to break but try this. Set up a place on the floor for them to sleep. After that goes well, ask them to sleep in their bed for 1 night a week, then move up to 2 and eventually they will do it all the time. Get a nightlight, too. My 11 year old still can't sleep without it.
J.,
I have 3 children 8, 2, and 2 months. When I had my daughter I was young and lived with my parents. My daughter slept with me the whole time, she slept with us until she was 5. We got her a new full sized big girl bed, and she got to decorate her room and it was hard, but she very rarely comes to bed with us since, usually when she is sick. Our son was always put to bed in our bed because it was so much easier, and then we would carry him into his bed, only to have him back around 4 am. WHen we found out we were expecting our third my husband really stepped up in getting our son in his own bed.
He just told him it was time to sleep in his own bed. He has been out of the crib since 11 months since I found him hanging on the outside of the crib rungs. It took about a week of just constantly putting him back in his bed EVERY time he came to our bedroom. But it worked and now every one sleeps in their own beds..it is heaven!!!!
It is hard, but very worth it. You will do great with whatever you decide to do.
K. T
Hi J.,
Looks like you have a wide variety of responses here, but I'll add mine, just in case it helps.....
My 3 boys are all grown up now, but they all shared our bed at some point. We called it the family bed. Folks come up to me out of the blue to tell me what nice young men they are.
We often put them into their own beds when both parents were ready to call it a day. Daddy would pick them up and tuck them in. (So Daddy was part of the program and happy with the arrangement) So they awoke in their own beds, regardless of where they may have gone to sleep.
Each of them transitioned in their own time to going to sleep in their own beds. Our bed was only off limits when someone was sick (mostly me). What really helped was when they got to be school age and had overnight guests. (NEVER Never let other peoples' children sleep with you!!!)
If your partner isn't in agreement that sharing is okay or that there should and can be limits to sharing, try to work out some compromise. YOUR relationship is teaching your children about relationships.
If you have a television in your bedroom, that will complicate matters, but it might be a tool to help set the limitations. (ie; after this show, we turn the tv off and you go to your own bed)
Good Luck!
Hello my name is M. and I have a 14month old son that sleeps in my ved as well I know that is easier for them to sleep in your bed my son sleeps in my bed as well.. I know that it is my fault because when me son was born he was in the hospital for the first 21 days of his life becaucse I was on a City bus that was hit by a 18 wheeler and the accident caused a small hole in my water.... So when I got him home I wanted him right by my side always... So i guess I'm writing to tell you that your not alone on this and if you find anyway to help get your children in your bed please let me know..... and I will do the same.... Thanks'
Hi J., I know this problem very well. I have an 11 yr old son who cant fall asleep unless beside me. We have been working on getting him in his own bed at night but he still wakes up and comes in my bed. My husband and I haven't slept together sense I was pregnant with him 12 yrs ago. We also have a 9 yr old boy who sleeps in his own bed and my daughter who is 6 sleeps in her own bed as well. There was a time when they all were in my bed and it puts a strain on the marriage. I always thought my son would grow out of it but I see know that he hasn't. I think I have done more harm than good. I guess what I am saying is you need to stop it now. It will only get worse.
honestly not all kids grow out of wanting to sleep in bed with parents.. my 13(yes the age is right) yr old brother in law still goes to bed at nite in my MIL's bed :(..best way to get them to sleep in own bed as going through with my youngest two.myself..put them in their own beds..read story to them & rub backs.. just tell them they can wake you in the morning is working so far for me
I have a son who is 6, and from the time he was 1 until 4 he slept in my bed. To get him back into his bed, I went into his room with him at night and layed with him until he fell asleep. After about a week of doing so I was able to put him in there and just lay with him until he got sleepy, and about a week after that I would just tuck him in and leave. Hasnt come back to my bed since...
my son slept in my bed for over a year my hubby worked nights so it didnt bother me he would fall asleep in his own bed and in the middle of the night he would come into mine, then hubby switched shifts so a week or two before i would keep telling him pretty soon you cant sleep in here dada will be here and there isnt any room, he alays said ok, then when it was time and he tried crawling in i say nope dada is here and there isnt any room, it took 1-3 weeks of getting up and putting him back in his own bed but i kept at it and he started staying there all night every night.be consitent keep putting him back to bed. good luck
My daughter and son sleep in my bed....becuase it's easier for me. Right or wrong, I need sleep and this is the best way I can get it. I have, however, recently started transitioning my 2 1/2 year old daughter into her toddler bed. I tried putting it in her room, but she wasn't too interested, so I put it in my room for now. She doesn't sleep in it every night, but most nights that's where she falls alseep. She usually wakes up around 1 or 2 in the morning and comes into my bed. Eventually she will sleep through the night and then I will move it to her room. Another trick I use with her is that she likes to wear her "princess" skirts and usually wants to wear them to bed. I tell her I don't have room for "princess" skirts in my bed, but she can sleep in her own with it on. That seems to do the trick. I know it might be frustrating, but I do agree with your doctor and find that things work much better with my kids when I let them ease into changes on their own. Hope some of this was helpful and good luck!
J.,
Wow! 2 in there at once! My son is 2 and occasionally lands in mine, and that's more than I need.
You mention your daughter is almost 5. Start building up the move to her big girl bed before you actually make the transition. Take her out to pick out new sheets and a blanket, something she's really excited about. Talk up how she's going to sleep in there once she's 5 and "big", that way if your son doesn't follow, she can see that he's still "little" and that's why he "has" to sleep with Mom.
Put her new bed together a bit before she's going to sleep in it, so she can see how nice it looks, play on it or put her dolls and stuffed animals in. Let her see that it's not threatening. Try putting a baby monitor in there, and letting her test it out. Let her whisper Mommy in her bed, and see that you can hear her if she needs you.
If this doesn't work, you can try a sticker chart, where she gets something special when she makes it a certain amount of nights in a row in her big girl bed.
If all else fails, you can go the hard way. Put her in the bed. When she gets out, put her back. It's going to be rough for a few nights, but then she'll get it. If you go this way, you've got to stick to your guns. One time you let it slide, and she'll never stop trying.
I have 5 kids now... and my third one, he always wanted to sleep in my bed. I allowed him to do this cause it didn't bother me any (my husband and I didn't get along... he slept on the couch anyway LOL) so it unded up my son was 10 and still sleeping with me! Finally, I decided it was "time".... I would take Vinny to his room and sleep with him, until he fell asleep. Like in my bed, he'd stroke my cheek, and I'd rub his little head, and we kept that tradition while we were getting used to doing that in a different bed. It took a while for him to fall asleep, but I think with me in there it made it easier. It may have taken a month or so of him getting used to it, but he'd pass out and I'd slip out. Eventually he got used to just going in there with me just saying goodnight!
When I had Gina, baby #4, 15 years later... (!)... she slept in my bed until she was almost a year old, then I just started putting her in her bed, and she somehow didn't mind one bit! I guess every kid's different. Good luck!
