I Really Need Help!

I would say consistency is key. Let him cry in the middle of the night to break the night waking..if its worked before, it will work again. We had to retrain too after a recent vacation. It's no fun but it does work. You will not be able to keep that schedule with a newborn and a toddler.

Have you tried taking one of his naps away. He may not need both naps. Or have you tried putting him down at a later time for bed?
Have you tried skipping the milk and just giving water. Milk at bedtime can cause stomach upset.

Good Luck,
S.

I agree with the first responder. My first child (now 5) was a horrible sleeper until she was 2, but I never let her cry it out, thinking it was cruel. I should have listened to the doctors when she was little. With my third, I put him through the "cry it out" method at 14 months, and he cried 10 minutes the first night, 2 minutes the second night and then fell asleep with his bottle pretty easily each night thereafter. Each child has their own temperament, and some will take long, some shorter to train. Read some quick books on sleeping methods (the libraries have tons)- I liked the method of letting the child cry 10 minutes the first night before going back into the room to soothe them (but not picking them up). Each subsequent night you prolong the crying period before you go into the room 15 minutes, 18, 20..(if you feel you need to). Another thing I learned through the years was feeding the little ones something before bed time (cream of wheat, toast, a banana, cheerios, whatever they like) fills their tummy and lets them sleep longer and more soundly. I know night time wakings are the hardest because you are tired and can barely get up to soothe them, but once he learns to sleep by himself first thing at night he should be able to self soothe during the night too. Whatever works, good luck, and remember this doesn't last forever!

We have a 15-month-old son who was in our bed until the last couple of weeks. He often woken us up 3-4x/night--who knows why (maybe teething?)--and it seemed like we'd never get enough sleep ever again. Every few months we tried to get him to sleep alone in a port-a-crib in our room or a crib in his room to no avail. The crying-it-out method ended up being hours of weeping, hair-pulling, banging--I feel so guilty still--so I know what you mean.

We started to make daily exercise a priority. He and his dad walk (not in a stroller) around the block about an hour before bedtime, which helps him burn off some energy. It takes a while, letting a toddler lead the way, but it's a fun way to explore and learn new words along the way: dog, car, grass, tree, rock, etc. Now, it's our favorite time of the day. I get a little break, and he gets to bond with Daddy.

We have also allowed our son to have a couple of small stuffed toys in his bed. We leave them at the end away from where he always lays his head (I'm still nervous about SIDS--I know, crazy), but I think it helps him feel less alone.

I hope this helps. Good luck!

It sounds like you have double trouble on your hands! At his age 2 naps a day are still common & that is usually the case until they are 15-18 months old. Children his age should be sleeping minimum 14-16 hours a day. The second nap will begin to disappear on it's own in the next few months. Read your child's cues-if he still need two naps, than lay him down for two naps! Your problem isn't with napping though, it is night waking. I higly recommend picking up Dr. Marc Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child." Although my husband & I didn't follow all of his advice to a tee, we did find most of it to be extremely useful (as did many of our friends). Our daughter has been sleeping through the night since she was 2 1/2 months old (she is now 15 months old) & following his advice was key to that. I know how difficult it can be when your child wakes up throughout the night during teething. Although our child is a good sleeper, she is a rotten teether! Her sleep always gets disrupted. Other than using medication, try giving him ice through a baby safe feeder. The ice helps to soothe & numb their pain. There is nothing wrong with rocking him to sleep either-do whatever you need to get through it (as long as he realizes it is only temporary). However, if crying it out worked for you, then I would also suggest trying that again. Whatever you decide to do just make sure you are consistent. I know that is sometimes easier said than done especially when sleep deprivation is concerned. It always seems like one step forward, two steps back. Please pick up that book-it will greatly help you!

There are a few things that you can try. Why don't you see if he is ready to lose his morning nap. He will probably then take an earlier afternoon nap and with being more tired that may do the trick for him. Another thing that you can try is to just let him cry. At some point he needs to learn how to put himself back to sleep and soothe himself when he is upset. You can put a few toys in bed with him and a sippy cup and then you know that he has what he needs. Eventually he will figure out what he needs to do to get himself back to sleep and you will be able to sleep too.

I think it's time for a little tough love. If he's sick or something then of course he needs a some comforting but he keeps screaming and screaming because he knows that if he does it enough, you will come for him. My son did the same thing so I listened to what I was told and in 3 days had a baby that slept through the night (he was 12 months and still not sleeping through the night too). So I understand where you're coming from. I had a baby who was sick frequently when he was first born so he just got on this schedule of waking, crying and eating all night long. At 10 months he was down to waking 1 time a night but regardless, he was still waking. Everyone, including my doctor, told me that I needed to break him of it now because otherwise I would have a toddler doing the same thing. Infants are much easier to break of habbits than toddlers who are much more stubborn.

Basically, I was told to shut our bedroom door and ignore the crying. At 13 months your son should be able to sooth himself back to sleep, he's old enough that this process will not hurt him in any way and he's eating enough during the day that he doesn't need to be fed/given a bottle/given water, etc. He needs to know that you're not always going to come for him and if you continue to do this, you will have a child dependant on you always soothing him. You really don't want this. You want a child who's capable to work through things himself and he's old enough to learn this.

It really only takes a couple of days of the crying and you want to get through this now before the new baby arrives. He will seem devistated but it's ok, honestly it is. He will be fine and you will be so much happier to have him sleeping through the night.

It looks like he is getting a lot of sleep in the daytime. There are a couple of things you could do, but I would start with shortening his naps. If the Motrin and Tylenol are not helping, then it's possible that he is not waking because of his teeth. When you got home from vacation he slept for a week all night. He was probably worn out from a busy schedule. If you shorten his morning nap to a maximum of 1 hour (or eliminate it, if he doesn't seem tired.) and then he can go to sleep a little earlier for his second nap. Then I would try not letting him sleep for more than two hours (2 and a half if he took no morning nap.) Then by bedtime he may be tired enough to sleep through the night. He also may be a little hungry. Maybe give him a small, healthy snack right before or after his bath and then wait until 8 or 8:30 to put him down. Every person has different natural sleep patterns. So he may be enjoying enough sleep during the day to not be able to sleep well at night. It's possible he's having dreams too. At any rate it really looks like he may be getting more than enough nap time, affecting his night time sleep. My oldest eliminated his morning nap pretty early and he always woke up in the night. Shortening naps and keeping him active seemed to help him a lot.

Have you tried Hyland's Teething Tablets? My 7 month old doesn't respond to Tylenol when it comes to teething. Hyland's tablets seem to do the trick. For me, it's a matter of finding the right tool for the job. Tylenol and Motrin are best for fevers.

I have also found that if I address my baby's crying early (before she works/wakes herself up a lot more), she tends to go to sleep faster (and happier) than if I just waited a bit to see what happens. I have never let my baby cry more than a couple of minutes (and that's only because I can't always get to her immediately). I've only had one really rough night recently (and Daddy was out of town that night, so I think that was why).

However, I think I have a really easy baby, so I could very well not be helpful here.

I'm sorry to hear about your struggles. Good luck!

I think maybe you should put him to bed later and see if that helps. 7pm is early he is over a year old now, and I would maybe take out the morning half hour nap keep the afternoon nap and maybe put him down at 8:30 or so... that may help

Hi K.,

Firstly as mother of three I sympathize with your dilema. Your son is 13 months old and he is napping too much. At this age he should only be taking one nap a day. When he isn't napping he needs to be active during the day. When he is awake let him color, paint, read with him, go for a walk, exercise,listen to music and draw how it makes him feel. Anything to keep him busy and exert some energy. He is sleeping so much that his body has been conditioned to waking up every two or three hours, and this is why he is unable to sleep during the night. Also try giving him a warm bath a little later in the night and that might aid in helping him to fall asleep and stay asleep. Lastly if you are fatigued, which I'm sure that you are or will be soon, attempt to develop a schedule for both of you. This will make it easier on the both of you. Good Luck and God Bless!

I agree -- tough love. Our son has been sleeping through the night consistantly since he was about 3 months old. Every now and then, he will still wake up. I give it a couple minutes and listen to his cry -- does he want me or need me. Of course I want to rush in every time I hear him, but he needed to know how to go back to sleep. There were a few nights where I would stand there for an hour (if he needed me to help him go to sleep) and rub his back & resist picking him up. It's tough, but it had to be done. He would be calling for me, trying to climb out of his crib and into my arms, and you have to have him lay down & calm himself down. Do it now before the baby comes, or you will get NO sleep! Good luck & congratulations!

Tough love for a 13 month old? That seems terribly harsh.

If rocking him works-- rock him! This is not uncommon and my guess is you're right about the teething. He may also be having night terrors at this age.

Have you tried having him sleep in your room? Is he afraid when he's awake?

Having another infant when this one is also young is rough- especially if you are on your own a lot. Do you have family close by that could spend some time with you in the beginning? You could also look into a postpartum doula who would be able to come help. You could hire (some will do for low/no cost) her to come at night.

My younger one did not start sleeping "through the night" until she was about 19 months old. I found that giving her something to eat and drink right before bed helped.

Also- be aware that it is very normal and common for older baby to regress a little when new baby comes. They feel like they need to vie for attention. Make sure to give your older one a LOT of love.

Congrats on #2... remember that in a year-- everything will get easier. Years are short even when the nights are long!

Hi K.,

I have a 22 month old and they sound so much alike!! My daughter didn't start sleeping through the night until about a month ago!! Her story sounds exactly like yours. She still gets up maybe once and wants some water. There is no easy solution as we tried everything under the sun! Nothing worked but time. Good like, I'm so sorry your husband works 3rd shift I can't imagine doing it alone!!!! and to have another one on the way. I feel for you girl!!

maybe he has gas/digestive problems. i use to breast feed my daughter but stopped when she was 7 months. from that point on she was on soy formula and would wake up every 2 hours through the night tossing and turning. during the day she took her naps in her swing in an upright position and would sleep for 2 to 3 hours mostly. i started giving her infant powder probiotics and it helped a lot, but she would still wake in the night and i would give her a few sips of water or natural digestion tea and she would go right back to sleep. i read that sometimes it takes a while for a babies digestive system to mature and when laying down for a long period of time gas pockets develop and cause discomfort. she is now 1 yr old and may wake up once. hope this may help

Could your child possibly be allergic or reacting to the milk? I personally have this issue and found it difficult to sleep if I've had a glass of milk prior to bed.

Also, friends of mine have been using an attachement to their crib that gently vibrates so that their child feels like he is being rocked during sleep.

~J.

This is how I got my guy to sleep on his own. He also didn't sleep thought the night until 13 months but that was because of nursing. That being said he has always been a great sleeper. First some things to check: are his naps consistent and at the same time everyday? If not he could be overtired. Some tots, when overtired, will wake up at night. Is his room comfortable for sleeping? Is it dark, some white noise (fan or white noise machine), is he too hot, too cold? If all of the above is good then try this: I would go into the room comfort him until he stops crying and leave. Give him 2-3 minutes of crying then go back in. Comfort him again (something short such as a hug, pat on the back, kiss, give him his snuggly) and leave again. Keep repeating this until he falls asleep. Eventually he will stop waking at night and it should even decrease the first few days. So you are teaching him to self-sooth back to sleep but also showing that your are there to comfort him when he cries. So you don't have to show tough love, just supported love ;)

PS I swear that this worked with my guy for night time and naps!

(also you could probably keep his cup in his crib so he can get it himself)

PPS That is the issue with the CIO method when you do to the extreme....from what I have read.....they say that when there is a rift in your schedule i.e. teething, vacation, sickness, etc...you have to do it all over again. I haven't had to do this. Again I have read this and maybe it isn't true for those who have used that method.

I really don't agree with crying it out and don't believe you need to go that route, nobody wins. The Baby Sleep Book by Dr, Sears helped us, some of it's a bit much but overall they have some helpful ideas. My babies are 15 months apart and so I know the sleep thing is a big deal, you'll be okay though. It is hard because you can't just sleep when the baby sleeps because your chasing a toddler but definitely lay down WITH the newborn whenever the toddler naps and remember it DOES get better. Good luck!

if in fact he is teething,my grandma told us to try (pure) vanilla extract rubbed on the gums. It is calming,soothing and usually does the trick without too much problem. I am a mom to 4 and gma to 1 and it has always worked for us. The pure...is only a suggestion as I did use imatation so it must be something with the flavor itself not purest in form??? Good luck!! I remember how hard it was with one little one and another on the way. My husband almost always worked 3rd shift when the kids were little. Been there,done that..............hang in there cuz when they are older the age will make them alot closer to one another. J.