My daughter will be 9 months next week and she still does not sleep through the night and is getting worse. She use to wake up 2 or 3 times a night but the last month it has been between 6-10 times a night. I have tries everything from rocking her back to sleep every time to the cry it out method and nothing seems to work. She has a conststant bed time routine, bath, book, bottle, bed by 8. She takes 2 hour and a half napes during the day (which are a challenge as well). I need to find a way to get her sleeping better for her sake and mine. She is only getting between 6-8 hrs sleep a night with all the waking. Any advice would be much appreciated. The only thing I am not willing to try is co-sleeping. Not only do I not think it is a good idea, but my husband sleeps with a sleep apnea mask which would be hazardous for the baby.
Try reading the Dr. Ferber book re- sleep training. Its a very parent empowering book which will put you in the drivers seat re: sleep and a number of other parenting issues.
I agree with the posters who have suggested she may be overly tired. An over-tired kid sleeps fitfully at best. And she should have a full belly when she goes to bed. She needs about a solid 12 hours at 9 mos.
I can tell you what NOT to do--this is the age where we started doing a "car ride" to get my son to stop standing and crying.
Bottom line: BAD idea.
If you're getting her every time she cries, she is training you and you are giving her the desired response. We did the CIO where we checked, patted, said "nite-nite" ONLY first every 10 minutes, then 15, then 20, etc. I wish we had done it a whole lot sooner than we did.
It was about 3 tough nights, but you're already having those, right?
I disagree with the advice to move her to a toddler bed--that would most likely be a whole other nightmare!
I'll bet she naps better once she gets more sleep at night, too.
Good luck!
My first thought is since dad has Sleep Apnea, it is possible that she might. If that is the case, she just may be having a hard time getting back to sleep after her lack of breathing wakes her up. Definitely ask her doctor or your husbands doc, if that could be a possibility.
In the mean time...
There are different ways of CIO; some are less CIO then others...
Supervised Crying--(Moving the chair father and farther),
Checking Method- (frequent checks at progressively longer intervals)
Gentle Approach- (putting her down and leaving, doing frequent checks with out picking her up but if she wakes in the night you sooth her the way your normally would)
Or Complete Cry IT Out- (adopt a good night time routine, then have a snuggle, hug and kiss lay him down and leave, and don't go back in until morning)
Since she is on the younger side, I would pick either the checking method or gentle approach. Remembering that consistency is the key. Decide your execution and stick to it. Once you are consistent on how you respond every time, and she is not getting rewarded for waking up, she will start learning how to put herself back to sleep. What ever method you pick, do the same for naps time too.
On the other hand, because nap time is shorter, you might even be able to do the Complete CIO.
If you know she is not hungry and you know she is not cold/ hot, you know she has a clean diaper, and you know she is tired, there is really no need to go and "save her". And by establishing good sleep habits for naps, it will only help with night time.
Good luck and happy sleeping soon,
E.
I would have her medically checked out, just to make sure nothing is bothering her. Consider ears, teething, etc. My initial thought it that she needs to cry it out. 9 months is at the age where she most certainly can be taught that she needs to be able to put her self back to sleep when she wakes. If you continue to try to rock her, respond to her, etc., your problem will only get worse or you will see no improvement any time soon. You say that you tried CIO before - how long did you try and honestly, were you consistent?
What time are you putting her to bed? Babies this age need to be down for the night between 6 and 7:30 and if she is overly tired - which i would think she would be, by now! - she will especially need this early bed time, if not ultra early for awhile until she can get more caught up on sleep. Being overly tired makes it very hard for babies to sleep at night (or naps for that matter) and so the problems worsens. I recommend putting her down no later than 6:30 pm and when she wakes, I would go to her ONCE - see that she is okay (hasn't pooped, doesn't have a fever, leg not stuck in the crib, etc.) and then kiss her and leave the room. This is how I handled night waking with my son all thought out his life (he is 15 months old now) and it always worked. He has slept through the night approximately 7:00 pm - 6:30 am since 4 months old. Every couple of months or so (for various reasons - reaching milestones, just wanting to play, etc.) he will try waking at night for a couple of nights - this is always my response and it always ended the problem! At least this way you KNOW there isn't something you can do for her because you have checked her needs. Anything more than that, you need to know that you are not helping her (even if it feels like it) - the help that she needs is learning how to sooth herself to sleep. YOu can feel better knowing that you are helping her get sleep - essential to her well being and growth!!!
Try putting her to bed earlier. An overtired baby won't sleep as well.
benadryl? i'm kidding obviously....idk but maybe you deserve a night out if you havent got one to recoup and destress...he may be paicking up on that you're stressed at bed ime expectig it to be horrible...i know that happened to M.
Hi there....I have a 9 month old too and he is a terrible sleeper.....still wakes up 3 times or more at night. does nap twice a day for about an hour each time like your little girl. His biggest problem is that he doesn't have the ability to self soothe himself to sleep....he will be so sleepy that is falling face forward on the bed but just keeps getting more and more irritated and keeps getting up. We tried cry it out but my husband and I couldn;t see it through. So here is what we are doing - 1. the one thing that is helping most with less waking at night is increasing the gap between feedings - 4 to 5 hours between each bottle with breakfast, lunch and dinner in the mix. This has really trained him to go longer without the bottle and thus wake up hungry less often - you didn't clarify if your little one got up to eat or cries for no reason and if she has any trouble going to sleep to begin with.......
Does she have gas, constipation or congestion? that is another reason why our baby wakes up at night.......
2. our baby doesn't like the crib since he likes to move around in his sleep so we needed more of an open space for him to sleep - maybe even a toddler bed with proper protection so he doesn't fall of. This really helped too.
3. at bed time we see when he had his last meal, nap time etc and then detemrine his time to go to bed - 3-4 hours from last nap time. He is very strong willed and if he is not sleepy he will not sleep. then I take him to his room, turn the lights out, make sure his bottle time coincides with sleep time. Still working on this one so don;t know the results......
good luck!
how long did you try the CIO??? most parents give up after a day or even less. stick with it at least 3 or 4 days. If you already tried that I dont know what to tell you. We are CIO parents here. Our oldest, who is 2 1/2 now, was mostly sleeping through the night around 8 or 9 months old, but not really consistently until a little after his first birthday. We have been super blessed with our twins, 8 months old, because they have been sleeping through the night since they were 3 months old. Just pick a method and stick it out, it may take longer than you want, but it'll happen.
some things we did were to put a few toys in his crib after he fell asleep, on the opposite end of there he was and if he woke up at night he would usually just play awhile until he fell back asleep, also worked wonders in the mornings because he would just hang out in his crib and play, sometimes for almost an hour, happy as can be and I was able to get a lot done, or get some more rest if i needed it.
I don't have any advice, just wanted to let you know I'm in the same boat! My son is 8 months 3 weeks and went from waking up once a night for the past month or so to now twice a night. It's making me crazy! I've heard from other moms separation anxiety is very common during this age and I know my boy is "all about mommy" right now. He's also teething... fun times! It's exhausting. Hang in there!
Crying it out worked for both my boys (now 1 and 3). I know some moms out there dont like it, but it works. It takes discipline on your part though. Once you put her to bed and she starts crying, go in once - tell her that mommy and daddy are going to bed now and it is time to sleep; then let her cry until she falls asleep (warning this may take a while - hours even). If you go back in, or she see's you -- the "clock" starts over (she wins, you lose) this is the biggest mistake parents make when trying to let their child cry it out -- they keep going in the room.
Both of my boys were sleeping through the night within 3 days. It was SO tough (especially with my first child, I think i cried almost as much as he did..) but it was the BEST thing I ever did. Both boys go to sleep at 8 o'clock and are in bed until I wake them up in the morning for pre-school (10 hours-ish). You will finally get some sleep and so will your baby. Good Luck and be strong. Another quick point - dont wait too much longer as my pediatrician recommended doing this between 5-9 months old as older children are much harder to train...
My son won't sleep when he cuts teeth. Just recently he was up every couple hours and then he popped out 2 molars and then he was back to sleeping all night. He also didn't sleep all night until he was 11 months old. He is now 16 months.
Your daughter is probably getting some new teeth. Or perhaps she is adjusting her daily/nightly "rhythm" and needs an earlier or later bedtime.
I am always shocked and appalled at the amount of "cry-it-out" responses I see. How sad. How would you like it if you were trying to tell someone something important, but they didn't understand you, and instead turned their back on you and just left you there? Your baby depends on you and you owe it to the child that you brought into the world to help her through whatever trouble she is experiencing. Babies are not and are not meant to be independent!
Here is a quote from one article I read recently (understand that I am not saying every child who cries it out will become the next Hitler, but it is NOT good for brain development):
<<Harvard researchers Michael Commons and Patrice Miller say that when children are left to cry for long intervals, their little brains are flooded with a harmful hormone called cortisol.
"There's nothing wrong with having them cry it out if you want to risk brain damage," Collins says.
They say that over time, cortisol increases the risk of severe attachment disorders … and worse.
"Hitler was a borderline personality. And so was Saddam Hussein," says Collins. "It didn't take a whole lot of Saddam Husseins and Hitlers to make our lives miserable.">>
She should be getting some teeth or close to it right now. I would try some pain reliever to see if that helps out.
