I Owe a Former Friend Money

Be honest and polite.

You owe her money, own up to it and ask for lenience on the amount when asking for the ability of making payments!

If you borrowed money you need to pay it back.
It was not a gift and she doesn't want to just forget about it.
She wants her money back.
Get a part time job or sell something and pay her back as soon as possible.
If you're only working 2 days a week then you've got plenty of time to work other jobs.
Next time around - if you can't afford to do something - decline in participating rather than borrowing money.

Privately email her apologizing for not following through with the discussion.
Can you afford to give her 50 per month? Maybe you can set something like that up and REALLY follow through.
People fall on hard times, I get that. Unfortunately, she had to fork out the initial 300, so she probably needs the money back. Look at it from her point of view :)

When you go to court, the judge will decide. You will probably also incur court costs too. Your friend has been fair by waiting this long to be repaid and giving you lots of chances. Since you did not respond to her after the Facebook text, she probably felt the only way she was going to get the money was to sue you. I think you should have paid her something towards your debt to show good faith. even $5 or $10 a month (that $2 a week) would have shown you were trying to repay her. You could have had a garage sale and sold at least that much stuff to repay your debt, babysat for extra money, checked into delivering pizza, or cleaned houses to generate extra income to pay for your debt.

L.:

Welcome to mamapedia!!!

You owe her money. Pay it back. You will have to go to court if you were served papers...typically not mailed but served by a Sheriff or some person assigned by the court. The papers you got in the mail are giving you notification of a subpoena.

You have two choices - go to court and plead guilty and have the judge assign default to you - either making you pay the balance in full or setting up a court ordered payment plan.

I hope you are not asking people here to pay your debt for you. That would be sad. You had a "gentleman's agreement" - a verbal agreement - and if your friend has canceled checks from you- she has proof that you were giving her money. Some courts will accept verbal contracts, others will not.

Bottom line is you acknowledge you owe this person money. You need to pay it. Whether it be $5 a week until paid in full - you need to do something. PERIOD. It's YOUR DEBT.

You owe her the money and have made no attempt to pay her anything. Even $10 or $20 is a start.

Everyone is struggling these days. You took the money without knowing for sure when you'd be able to pay it back, and then you made promises to pay knowing that you wouldn't be able to do so. You put yourself in a crappy position, and I hope you learn a lesson here (don't borrow money).

Go to court, agree to make payments, and pay her back.

The only way to make this go away is to pay her back IN FULL immediately. If you are unable to do so, then the court is going to garnish your wages in increments (plus processing fees) until it is paid back.

Never borrow money from a friend or family member unless you have a contract drawn up. It rarely (if ever) ends well.

Judge Judy would say that if your agreement was to repay "when you were financially able" and if you are not financially able yet, that you don't yet owe it to her.

However, you have a job, so I'm not sure that argument will hold. Also not sure how any other judge would view it...I just know how Judge Judy would view it. I watch too much Judy. ;)

Even if you are found in court to owe it, it's not like the judge will tell you that you have to immediately pay it right then and there. You'll still be able to set up a payment plan, through the court, to repay what you owe.

The fact that you let 3 months go by without attempting to give her SOMETHING (and really, that's just three months since she last asked you, I imagine it's been longer) is why she is suing you. I'd sue you too, I think...you kind of checked out on your friend, there. She didn't force the money on you, YOU took it.

You just need to pay her back, little by little. Put out a written agreement and stick with it..

And NEVER borrow money for anything frivolous again.

Have a garage sale.Or sell things on craigslist. Give her all of the profits. Really go through your things and get rid of anything you did not use this last winter and fall season.

Put aside $2.00 per day.
Give her that money each week.

Cut back on anything extra..
No eating out or drinking out.
Drink water.
Do not purchase paper towels.
Do not purchase trash bags. Use the plastic bags from the grocery store.
Wear clothes 2 times before you wash them. Hand wash your underpants and bras. Hang them to dry.

What is the basic phone service you can get on?

Try not to waste what your purchase at the store. Eat every bit of it. Place foods in the freezer, that you are afraid will go bad, before you can eat it,

Do not go out for activities that cost money. Instead walk, run, jog in the parks.

Look into pet walking, babysitting,watering plants,assisting with gardening, house cleaning, extra services you can do for others. Can you sew? Post that you can do hemming..

Look on craigslist for services that people need.

If you are working just two days per week, get a second job and pay her back out of the wages you get. Minimum wage at any fast food restaurant will have her paid back in less than a month. There is always babysitting. The kids in my area get $5 to $10 per hour depending on the number of kids.

When you give her money, be sure you give her a check or money order so you have a record that shows you actually paid her.

If you are working two days per week, brown bag your lunches for those two days. Most people spend $6 to $9 per meal for lunch. 8 lunches per month at $6 per lunch is almost $50 per month.

You have lots of choices and ways to pay your debt. Now what you really need is a strong work ethic and sense of responsibility.

If you need more ways to save, e-mail me.
Good luck to you and yours

After you pay her back, save money for the rainy day.

You borrowed the money... you agreed to pay it back.... You owe her the $$.. This is clear.

If you knew you would not repay her, then why did you accept the money and why did you promise to repay her?

In 3 months have you made no attempt whatsoever to repay her? I am sure she does care about your financial situation but you didn't live up to your word. You could have and should have at least tried to set something up so she knows you are not trying to walk from the loan. A simple $5-$10 a week would at least let her know you are true to your word. I am not convinced that you do not have at least $1-$10 you could come up with weekly in order to make good on your word.

I would try to get an agreement with payment plan in writing and follow through with your promises to pay her back. If you go to court, you'll probably be out more than the $300 due to court expenses, PLUS have a judgement against you.

My impression from your post is that you have not tried enough to make this right. If someone owes me money and I know for a fact they are trying, I will work with you a lot easier than I would if you just ignore the fact that money is owed and do nothing to fix it except have more excuses as to why you are not paying.

Fact is Fact......... You owe her $300.

In the future, do not borrow money from anyone if you can't repay it back within an agreed upon time limit and amount.

Help with what? You owe the money. You acknowledge that you owe the money. You made promises to pay. She probably wouldn't be hounding you if you were still friends. (Is this why you broke up?) Since you're not, she wants to cut ties. You can understand that, right?

Did you tell her every time you were not able to honor your commitment, or did you just hope that she wouldn't notice? Did you try to give her something, as a show of good faith, even if it was nowhere near what you had wanted or planned to give? When you don't repay a debt, you visit your troubles onto someone else. It doesn't matter that you lost your job and had no money. That's an unfortunate part of life. A debt is a bill that you need to pay, and, just like you would contact your electric company about not being able to pay on time, you should contact your friend.

Go to court. Take your medicine.

I don't mean to be insensitive, but if your job was cut back to 2 days a week, why haven't you gotten a second job?

You owe her money. Many of the ladies here pointed out that you could have paid her a little at a time. You didn't have to borrow the money, but you did and now you are responsible for it.

If you do go to court, don't turn it into a Judge Judy episode trying to defend yourself. Just agree to pay back the money.

I agree with Susan B. Babysit, deliver pizza, clean houses, do anything to earn extra money. Work in fast food. When they cut your hours to two days, spend the other days looking for another way to earn more money.

And......surely you could've forgone something and paid her $1. Paying her even a little bit shows your intentions to pay. You haven't even talked with her in 3 months. What kind of a friend are YOU? You're not even being a friend. Why would she think you ever planned to pay her?

There is nothing worse than borrowing money, except borrowing money and not paying it back. I honestly don't blame this girl and hope that you understand why she is taking this route. If you want to make it right, make it right and pay her back. As the other posters said, you might be able to get her to drop the case but that's a huge risk for her. You will have to make it in her best interest to drop the case and ensure that she gets paid.

Good luck!

I would send your friend an apology note with $20 and tell her you will send her $20/week. She will then be paid in less than 4 months. Ask her if she'll accept your apology and written agreement and drop the court case. If she agrees, then keep your promise.
If she doesn't agree, then keep up the payment plan until the court day. Admit you verbally agreed to pay and did not. Show your written proposal and proof of payment so far. And see what happens. My guess, the judge will rule in her favor for the $300 and in your favor to continue the payment plan.
If you go to court, I'd find out what her court costs are. If the judge doesn't automatically make you liable, I would extend your payment plan until you've paid those costs as well.
After she's all paid up, I would send another note, apologizing for your ways, thanking her for her patience. Perhaps with flowers.

You need to pay her back. If you don't have it then see if someone else can lend it to you or if the courts will allow you to set up a payment plan. I had a friend who needed to borrow money and she paid me $25 a week until she paid it all back. Maybe you could set up something like that?

You owe the money.
You need to pay it.

Visa doesn't care if your hours are cut, you're having a tough time, etc.
Not to be harsh, but have you tried to pay anything at all back to her?

so pay her back like you promised. Have you even paid her a dollar in return yet? SOMETHING is better than NOTHING. It will show your committment to paying her. I would be disgusted too. If you are only working 2 days a week, that makes 5 other days that you could be working somewhere else. There is always a job out there somewhere, you just have to be serious about looking for it.

I don't get what help you want from us, honestly... pay the woman her money. You couldn't even give her a "good faith" payment of $20 or so dollars just to let her know you actually intended to pay her off? If you had done that, you wouldn't be here, going to court, and losing a friend in the process. It was not her fault that you were having personal problems.

Now, I don't know your situation, but I have seen what modern day society considers "broke" and it's not really broke... it's "I over spent the money I had, didn't budget, and now I can't buy my daily Starbucks coffee." If you have a job and any spare money, then you CAN afford to pay her back.

And next time, if you can't afford to go to the party on your own dime, then don't go... A party is not a necessity to live. That right there shows your financial immaturity.

I'm NOT an attorney... But this scenario gets kicked around the dining room table an awful lot (friends who are attorneys & do probono work) talking about various rulings & judgements.

This is what Ive picked up from them

1) Speak to legal aid to find the legal best course of action.

2)I Going to court if your ex friend is unwilling to take the amounts you can afford to pay

Tell the courts you want to pay, and are willing to pay, but are unable to at this time due to job loss after you made the agreement. Which you informed your friend of.

Bring
- Current employment proof of salary (paystubs, contact, etc.) or unemployment assistance paperwork
- Bills (clear spreadsheet showing what you owe)
- Car repair receipts (courts give leeway for car repair as no car = no job = public assistance.
- record of all attempts you've made to settle this out of court, and the rejection of the Ammts you've tried to pay/ insistence of all/nothing (courts don't like people using them without attempting not to, first).

The courts will probably
- have you pay through the courts (but if not, keep a record of each payment... PayPal, check, etc.).
- have you make minimum monthly payments ($5/$10/$20)

But they MAY
- place the debt on hold for a period of time (underemployed & unemployed there is discretion to do so in some states, but not all). Its often linked to circumstance. If you're being frivolous with your money, they almost never do... If you're being frugal, and have shutoff notices on your power & are borderline for reckeving public assistance ... Its more likely.

If you don't want to go to court, then ask to set up another payment plan, even if just 20 dollars a week. Get the contract notarized.
Also, when your job cut you back and your car broke down, did you ask to re-do the verbal contract? if not, it might have been a good idea to do so.. Even with your car breaking down, some might think (not all) that even before you fix the car, your debts should be paid. This might mean you take public transportation, but at least it might mean getting out debt sooner..
Also, for future, if you can't afford to do something , try and just say NO, stand by your decision. A true friend will understand your situation and not be offended if you don't attend a function .. etc..

good luck

Ok, I see both sides here.

A friend of yours offered to lend you money so you could do something and said for you to pay it back when you could. If she really needed the money she would have set up a payment plan with you.

Something (or someone) is leading her to believe that you could have paid it back but chose not to. That's where the "lying" accusation is coming from and probably why she blindsided you with a small claims court order. It seems petty to do it for only $300 though!

I understand her side, it bugs me when I hear people talk about their money troubles but then I hear they just bought a new couch or went on a weekend trip. I'm not saying that's what you did, I'm just saying that it has happened to me before.

I also suffer from money troubles so I can see your side too. It's hard to squeeze money from someone who doesn't have any!

If I were you, I'd call up your former friend and communicate with her. Find out why she decided to slap you with a court date. Did she hear something from someone else? Have you given her the idea that you have a lot of money? I know that I'll see pictures of friends on facebook and they're out to dinner or getting their nails done, but then they tell me that they don't have any money and that bugs me! I think if they have money to go out to eat, then they can afford to pay me back! Not that you did that, I'm just wondering if she got that idea. Also, did someone else tell her that you really do have money? A friend or family member who is out to get you?

Otherwise get all your bills together and the amount of money you make. Be prepared to bring that with to "prove" that you don't have any money. The court will be fair. Be prepared to show papers, documenting that your car broke down and your job cut you back. Bring your mortgage/rent payment amount, all your other bills (electricity, gas, etc.), and the papers from when your car broke down.

If you really don't have any money then you'll be able to prove it and your "friend" will look like an idiot, trying to sue you for money you don't have. He/she shouldn't have lent it to you in the first place, or will have to be patient in getting it back.

But if you can't prove that you don't have any money because you DO (even if it's just $25 a month) then you can work out a payment plan.

Good luck!

Divide $300.00 by three months and there's why you are being taken to court. If you didn't have the money and no sure way to pay it back, you should have skipped the party. You are in the wrong and now might be a time to start making better decisions.

I suggest that you contact your "former friend", apologize give her as much money back NOW that you can. She may forgive you and perhaps not go to court. BUT if you do have to go to court, make sure you have receipts for what you have paid back, so you can show the court some good faith.

I think that a true friend would understand what is going on and be right there with you through the thick and thin of it so I'd call her an acquaintance. You should have given her a few dollars each pay day even if it was just a $5 or a $10. Then she would know you were at least trying.

Letting it go for 3 months without even a dollar paid back is wrong. You could have cut back on groceries or lunch at work or a trip in the car so your gasoline bill was less or something to show her you appreciated what she did. You basically took the money and ignored her for months after she and you made a payday plan.

Chances are she'll win but you'll still have to pay her court costs even if you don't go to court. She had to pay to file the papers. So go, see what the judge says. Tell the judge there was no set time limit to repay her and that you thought you had time. Copy the message from FB and tell him that is the only communication she sent you, she never asked for a payment or messaged you to see if you could give her some money.

If you were my friend and I KNEW you were struggling and really and truly didn't have it then I would not say anything except just to pay some when you can.

But it comes down to the fact that you did borrow the $300 and you do owe it to her. You agreed to a payday plan for repayment then didn't pay her anything. I would not be surprised she did this. I would have expected her to do this.

Try and talk to her about setting something up outside the court. Even if it's a measly five bucks a week until you're able to give her more. If she is unable to work something out with you before bringing you into court, then work something out with the courts. Even if it's the five a week or something like that. But in the end you'll get it paid back and it'll be okay. But just try and work something out and if you can't at the moment then work something out with the courts and it'll get it taken care of. Best of luck.

It sucks that she's suing you, but figure out a way to pay her the money. You knew at the time you took it that it was a loan, not a gift. You didn't pay her when you said you would and now she's angry, and rightfully so. Maybe in the last three months she was expecting you to step up and pay your debt. When you didn't, she took matters into her own hands to get back her money.

If you can, figure it out without going to court and wasting the time of the judge. I'm sure there are ways you can cut back on your life to get the money. If your job is only giving you two days a week, find a way to earn money the other three (or five). It's only $300. You should be able to raise that much money pretty quickly. Look on craigslist under "gigs" for quick jobs that will pay you for a day's work. Go be a waitress at a fancy party.

Sorry to be harsh, but it's been months and you haven't been able to come up with $300. Something is wrong.

Court is based on facts. She will have to prove you borrowed the money. She will need to prove the terms of the lending of the money. Even a verbal agreement needs to be proven. Review your response to the FB message.

If the agreement was truly for you to repay when you were financially able, it may be your duty to prove your financially inability to pay by showing your income and expenses in court.

If she doesn't have any evidence to provide the court that you borrowed the money, then it's your word against hers.

When you go to court, you say nothing unless answering a direct question from the judge. You take your time to answer and make certain you understand the question posed to you.

While it is clear from your posting on this site that you owe her money, it is also noted you are going through a rough time and the terms agreed to have been adhered to. Communication is key when you get to court.

Even if she were to win this case it is another matter to actually get the money from you. You can't get blood from a stone. Or money from a broke former friend. I say lessons learned all the way around. Keep us posted on the outcome.

UPDATED
Don't pay her a dime. Let the court process go forward since that is the avenue she has selected. Paying her anything at this point wouldn't serve your best interest. Let the court determine, what and when and if you have to repay her at this time given your current financial hardship.

I think obviously you should just pay her 10-20$ per week / bi-weekly / month / whatever. But, I also think, she should have never lent you the money in the first place. If a friend of mine was not going out of town because they didn't have the money, said they would pay me back "when they can" .......... Honestly I don't think I'd expect it back. (Not that I think you shouldn't pay her) - But that was stupid on her part.

If you can't pay her back right now, there is really nothing you can do besides go to court. You can state your current situation and ask to make payments. They may allow you to pay $10 per week or $30 per month, for example. Come prepared with your income info as well as a list of your living expenses. You may also have to pay her costs if there was a fee to file in small claims court.

I do sympathize with you that it has come to this, but try to keep a proper perspective. Your former friend is following proper procedure and is not in the wrong for filing. She's the victim in the court case.

Either pay the debt or go to court. If you don't go, she'll get a judgment against you. Of course, if you have no money, then a judgment is nothing but a piece of paper. But it will affect your credit score/rating. Also, if she knows where you bank and has access to your account number, she can use her judgment to garnish funds from your bank account.

Getting the judgment is the easy party; collecting is the hard part.

Scrape it up and pay her. I know it might be hard but it's better than court. And after you pay her, be certain to call her a few choice names. And just know she may call you some back - but it will feel good!

Go to court and tell the judge everything that you have told us here. You are acknowledging the debt. You just haven't been able to work out the payment schedule.

It's kind of ugly for her to be this way when she pushed you into going to this thing for her friend's birthday, but you let yourself BE pushed, and I hope you learned a lesson about not spending money you don't have, even if a friend is pressuring you.

Ignore your friend and concentrate solely on the judge. Hopefully he or she will help you set up a payment plan that takes into consideration your financial circumstances.

Dawn

if you owe her the money, and she can show that you do in any way (texts, emails, a contract) then you should just borrow the money now and settle out of court cause if you lose in court you will have to pay the court costs too which can add almost $200 more! SO borrow the money and get her paid off or be late on a different bill cause trust me this is going to cost you lots more otherwise.
Make sure if you do pay her off that you get her to sign something saying so and then go to the courthouse with that or call the court before you pay her and ask them what to do to pay it off and not have to go to court.

No advice to give, but I hope things work out.