I Need Help Teaching My Daughter to Sleep in Her Own Bed!!!

K.,
Put your daughter back in her bed every night. Comfort her, tell her you love her, then put her in her bed. You might have to do this several times before she gets the idea/message that she is to stay in her room.
I did allow my children to sleep with me, it does cause problems,(it also builds a wonderful bond and that is why you child will not hate you or stay upset when you make her stay in her room)
She is old enough to be there, it will take complete follow through on your part and you might lose a few hours of sleep the first few times, but in the long run it will be worth it. You need to think about your marriage and the benefits to your child when you and your husband are happy.
That is all part of being a parent as well.....
goodluck.

While I am not going to directly discuss how to get her to sleep in her own bed - I think you will get many suggestions how to do that, I will mention that I agree with many of the points made by Heather. Kiddos want (and need to be) with their parents whether it is day or night. As for the bedroom issues with hubby (I have been there with this, so I completely understand what impact it can have), be creative with other places to be intimate! It doesn't always have to be in the bedroom!! Good luck and enjoy your little one!

Wow...I can understand the strain on the relationship there. My son did that for quite a while. He's 1 now. For a long time he wouldn't sleep unless being held. And had to sleep with me. Usually I didn't think much of it as his daddy works third shift so most nights I have the bed to myself. On the nights that daddy would be home the bed got really crowded and since he was small I worried about my boyfriend rolling over and the baby getting hurt. So I would pretty much not sleep on those nights. That got old fast but every time I would put him in the crib he would scream and wake up the whole house. We are living with my mom and dad until I get back to work and my Dad gets up at 5:30 for work so that isn't good. Finally I figured out a way to get him to stay in his crib. When I would cuddle him in our bed I would put one of Daddy's extra pillows under him, between him and my arm. Once he would fall asleep I would ease my arm out from under him until he was flat on the bed. If he stayed asleep like that then I would transport him pillow and all into his crib. Being able to cuddle with something that smelled like Daddy made him very happy and the first night we did that he slept thru the night in his crib. Now I leave the pillow in there, rock him to sleep and just lay him on it. Every so often I trade the pillow for the one daddy uses so that the one in the crib always smells like daddy. He is happy, sleeps thru the night in his crib, and wakes up with a smile instead of tears. Does she have her own room? The reason I ask is that it seems like she misses you being close to her when she wakes up. Try putting something that smells like you and/or daddy in her crib with her. Also, something my best friend did when she moved her son out of her room and into his own might help too. He was always waking up and missing her. So for a few nights to adjust him to being in that room she camped out in there with him. Then after a couple nights of that, after he would fall asleep she would creep out of there and back to her room. It worked well. You have started a nasty habit of allowing her to control where she sleeps. Sadly it may not be easy to break her of that but you HAVE to put your foot down or you will end up with her in your bed every night for a very long time. It's not easy at all. I know one mother who tried to break her son of that when she was getting ready to have a second child. She was so upset by his tears that her answer was to buy a bigger bed. I don't know how that worked out for her marriage as I haven't seen her in a long time now. But I can imagine that wasn't good. Eventually, tears or no tears, you are going to have to be firm with her and insist that she not be allowed to sleep in your bed. Maybe put a rocking chair in her room and when she wakes, instead of bringing her to your bed you never take her out of your room. Rock her back to sleep and put her back in her crib. Hopefully you can get her used to sleeping in her bed before it's time for a toddler bed and she can get up on her own and come to your bed. Good luck!!!

Infants do not sleep with their parents while at the hospital. If you had started putting her to bed in a crib when she came home from the hospital and she had slept alone this would not be a problem now! Infants do not "want to" sleep with their parents. However, it will take a long time to break of her this habit now. You will have to put her to bed in her room, leave on a light, play soft music and read to her from a chair, tuck her in and leave the room. When she gets up and comes to your bed you will have to get up, take her back to her bed and tuck her in, sing to her, read to her, whatever and leave. Everytime she gets up and gets in your bed you have to do the same thing. It will wear you and your husband out. It could take months. Or you could just live with it and when she gets to be about 8 she will decide she wants to have sleep overs with her friends and will want to be in her own room instead of yours. Good Luck.

I am in the same boat. Our two year old loves to sleep with us and honestly we love the bond that it creates. However, it is time for him to be in his crib. We are in an akward situation, our home sold in two months and we are looking for a new place. So his crib is in our room and there is no way he is going to sleep in his crib if we are right there. But as soon as we move he is going into his own room. I know it will be hard, but it is time. This may sound silly, but I was an only child, and I hated being by myself. I think that is why I let him stay in our bed.
I am a WAHM who loves her jobs (all of them).

Get 'How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems' by Richard Ferber. We had a hard time getting our daughter out of our bed and into her own and this book helped us work magic in just a few days!

Hi K.,
I had the exact same problem with my son and he to will be two in may. I just did this and all last week he slept through the night in his own bed. I am telling you it will be hard. I had to let my son cry it out. For two nights he cried what seemed like ALL night. But i would not let myself go into get him. He had to learn that by waking up and crying that i was not going to come running. I can tell when he cries if i need to go get him or not. and these were not cries that i needed to go get him. So anyway my husband is a contractor so i would always go get him right away because my husband needs his sleep. So i told him ok this weekend i am doing this because we ALL need our sleep. So we did it for two nights and the third night he woke up and whinned a couple of times and went right back to sleep. It was amazing. He has only woke up a couple of times now and he goes back to sleep. It is hard to get used to at first but it is nice to remember what a full night sleep feels like. And the kids are much happier through the day beacuse they slept well. I know its hard. And believe me if I Can do it anyone can. They are just used to crying and getting the result they want. so if they are waking up and crying to come to bed with you then they have to know that is no longer an option. Another thing i did was now when he wakes up and cries and i need to go check on him. i go in and hug him not picking him up. And i pat his back and tell him mommy is here its ok and he calms down and i tell him ok its night night time. and he lays down and goes back to sleep. Well anyway i hope this helps you. And jsut know you are not alone!!!! But it does get better. Good luck to you and your family!!!!!

My daughter was sort of colicky as an infant and when she turned around 1 year old I moved her out of the crib into a bed with a side b/c we could not lay her down without her waking up and screaming b'c she knew we were going to leave her, which we never really did. We never left her cry or anything. Anyway, she slept with us a lot too and has a lot of security issues, but she is over 3 now and sleeps all night in her own bed. Encourage her to sleep in her own bed, tell her she's fine, and i would lay down with her until she went to sleep and then leave. Put your foot down but let her know you are not leaving her. Just try to hold out a little longer with a little more patience that has probably outlived itself. She won't be 2 1/2 forever. Have you tried leaving her with someone else for a night yet?

I know a lot of people are sounding off on whether you did the right thing or not letting her sleep with you in the first place, but that is not the point. The point is that you are ready for her to sleep in her own bed NOW and you want advice. That being said. I agree with some of the suggestions on how to make her room more appealing...ie...nightlight, stuffed animal or blankie, but I would suggest putting a gate at the entrance to her room, that way when she wakes up at night, she can't come all the way to your room, but then you can come to her and get her settled back into her bed. The first few nights will be rough and I am sure she WILL THROW FITS, but eventually she will realize that that is how it is going to be. The first few nights, you might even need to lay with her for awhile and then as she gets used to it you can shorten the amount of time you are in there.

Hope this helps. It worked for my now four year old son.

The issue of where the baby sleeps is a huge issue for every family, I'm sure. For us, a combination of bed-sharing during part of the night, and part of the night the baby is in her own bed (not crib--she never did let us put her in a crib and we did not let her "cry it out") so here's what we did. (Our baby is 16 months old now.)

We got a single futon for her room. We put it on a very low platform (very simple, made by a friend of ours, but it's only a couple inches off the ground so she can get on and off the bed and if she falls, it's not far to the floor) We began putting her there for naps, and she got used to it, so we could put her to sleep at night (walking with her, rocking her, nursing her) and she sleeps there for several hours before waking up. When she wakes up, we bring her to our bed. The hours while she's asleep on her own give us some privacy. It's not perfect, I love the idea of her sleeping on her own, but I would miss the cuddly time with her a lot. The way we do it gives us a little privacy and also gives us the sweet bonding time when she's sharing our bed (which is also a futon, low on a platform like hers, so she can get in and out safely) so it works out pretty nicely.

I know this is a very controversial issue, some families have strong beliefs one way or another, but the bottom lines for me are: 1) you need to find what works for your family so everyone can get some decent sleep and the privacy they need, and 2) bed-sharing can be done safely.

Good luck!

You might want to try a variation of the cry it out strategy (for lack of better words.) For the first night or two, let her cry for at least 5 minutes (watch the clock because even 1 minute seems like eternity), go in, comfort her and leave. If she'll let you rock her or sing her to sleep, do it. But then put her back in her bed and leave. Do this every time she wakes up, but let her cry a minute or two longer each time. After the second night, increase the cry time but don't pick her up. Let her know you're still there and then leave. I put our CD player on repeat with lullabies playing each night and this has really helped my kids. Be consistent with the leaving part. She'll figure it out in a few days. My 6 year old still comes in our room most morning for a little snuggle time, but that isn't until after 6:00 am.

Your child is important, but your relationship with your husband is more important. You might also want to buy a good pair of earplugs. I don't use them in case the boys really need me, but they work great for my husband.

Hi K.!

I have a suggetion. My daughter did the same thing at that age and this is what we did.. it is simple, but it worked!

Go to www.chuckecheese.com you can print out reward calenders for your child for sleeping in their own bed. It takes 14 days of sleeping in their own bed to get them 10 free tokens at Chuck E Cheese! My daughter wasn't happy the first night, but after that it was a goal and after the 14 days, she went to chuck e cheese and got rewarded. It was awesome. :-)

I hope this helps.

Take Care,
L. Kay