I Need Help Dealing with My Husband Diabetes.

Updated on December 02, 2010
J.P. asks from Brooklyn, NY
15 answers

My husband suffers from type 2 Diabetes and im so scare for him. Im scare im going to loose him, I want to help him controlling his sugar. Is always high and right now he is not working until he gets his paperwork done. The doctors don't really want to give him the ok to drive yet. We have no income right now and besides that im scare. I don't want to loose my husband, I just can't deal with it. Guide me please to how I can help him.what do avoid, what to eat. Please help me. (he is going to see a endocrinologist tomorrow) Thanks

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S.T.

answers from Kansas City on

my dad had diabetes and passed from it so I know how serious it is! He really needs to start exercising and eating right look up recipes for diabetes there are tons and watch how much sugar he takes it's in everything.

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A.C.

answers from Columbus on

You can help him--but only if he wants help. You need to try to enlist him in this. If he's not willing to make changes, then you can't do it for him.

Changes in diet (limiting carbs and sugars and when eating them going for complex carbs and complex sugars) and exercise can make a huge difference, and checking blood sugars regularly (2 or 3 times per day, especially at first or anytime you get out of your normal food/exercise routine).

Sit down and let him know how you feel, but do it without being emotional (tell him you're worried about him and that you want to spend the rest of a good long life together and enjoy it, not let it be damaged by a manageable disease---but say it without tears, etc.) Then sit down and help him come up with a game plan. If you do the cooking, get him to help you pick out new recipes to try.

Good luck and G-d bless you both.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

He NEEDS to be referred, by his Doctor, to a Nutritionist... so that you BOTH... can learn about what foods he can or cannot eat... as a Diabetic. Otherwise, he will not get better.
AND he needs to exercise.... regularly. It helps to control Diabetes.

My Dad had Diabetes... and we didn't know until it was too far in advance.

On the internet... you can also find recipes... that would be appropriate for him. And learn about what foods are good or not, for him.

The only way... to KNOW how to help your Husband is to learn whatever you can from his Doctors... and ask any questions you have. Your HUSBAND also HAS TO.. be an active part in knowing about his condition. It is imperative...

For my Dad... he is from an older generation... but he sort of "expected" my Mom to know about everything and he just ate whatever she cooked or did, for him. BUT... so, we all had to tell my Dad, that HE is the one with Diabetes and HE has to be a part of his care... too. HE has to learn what he can about it... it is his body... and it is a learning curve about it.

Look on the internet. Here is the link for the "American Diabetes Association":
http://www.diabetes.org/

All the best,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful

D.B.

answers from Detroit on

As a diabetic for 10 years now (however, I'm type one), I can tell you that he's going to have a LOT of ups and downs with it because its all so new and so suddenly. He's eaten a certain way (the way he LIKES) for a long time and now all of a sudden he MUST alter that. They also say that its a silent killer because you REALLY don't feel too badly until its almost too late. And also because sometimes, when folks don't really FEEL sick, they stop paying attention to things like carb and sugar intake. So please PLEASE have his doctor discuss with him in GREAT DETAIL how very serious it is and what he MUST do.

That being said, carb counting at all meals is super key. It varies from one diabetic to the next, so speak with his doctor to find out how many carbs he should aim for with EACH meal (including snacks). I would agree that it might be a good idea to see a nutrionist who will help him come up with a step by step meal plan. He will likely be given a medication to help with controlling how his pancreas processes sugar, but it doesn't always work for every diabetic. He MAY end up on insulin. It can be so scary, but once he gets the hang of it, he will feel SO MUCH BETTER. But be prepared in the meantime for bouts of depression...it most likely will happen. Its a very difficult disease to manage and learn to figure out all the ins and outs of.

As far as his possible sweet tooth might go.....they make such a wide range of sugar free items now (cookies, candy, cereals, ice cream, etc) and most of it is actually pretty good. Just caution him that foods that are sugar free are often VERY high in calories (seems stupid, I know) so if he's Type Two Diabetic because of weight issues, this might be something to monitor closely. Also, sugar free foods have a diuretic side effect if eaten in large quantities, so tell him not too eat too much of it (or be VERY close to a restroom if he does LOL).

Good luck to you both! I know its hard on both the person and the person who's caring for that person. You have to have a team approach to this to make it work!

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

If your insurance would cover a few visits with a nutritionist, that would be a good thing.

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M.V.

answers from New York on

Can you go with him to his doctor's appointment? It would help if you had a list of questions already written out that you want to ask - it's so easy to forget things when you're "in the moment." Go on diabetes websites to help you get ideas of what to discuss during the appointment. Make sure that if meds are prescribed you both understand exactly what they are and when to take them. Ask for a referral to a nutritionist who can help with meal and snack planning. Try to plan some regular exercise into his schedule (even walking will help). Please understand that this is something that can be controlled with proper medication, diet and exercise. If he follows the guidelines given by his physican, there is no reason he can't live a normal life. You are to be commended for wanting to help your husband as much as you can. It is not easy and takes alot of commitment. I was diagnosed with Type 2 about 8 years ago and am now on insulin as well as several oral medications. I have drastically changed my diet (but it didn't happen overnight!) and try to incorporate exercise into my days. It's not fun, but eventually it just becomes routine. I understand that you're scared, but educating yourselves as much as possible and following doctor's orders should help you feel more proactive about the situation. Good luck - I wish you and hubby all the best. :)

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M.T.

answers from New York on

Go with him to his appointments. His doctor and nutritionist will tell you what he needs to do, how he needs to eat, how to manage his medications. It is this structure that will help you in coping, and these professionals can answer your questions. Diabetes does not have to be a death sentence, people can live a very normal lifespan if their diabetes is well controlled. The key is to get good medical care and follow the recommendations of the doctor and nutritionist. They can give you many resources for more information

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

My FIL has diabetes and has for decades. I don't have it, but I had to follow a diabetic diet while pg. Just look at carbs in things. He'll probably get guidelines tomorrow for amounts per day, but I learned that the sugars are included in the carbs, so that's what you really have to pay attention to. Juices use up a ton of carbs, so avoid them as much as you can. Get him to excercise- maybe both of you can walk each day together. That will help a lot! There are a lot of types of sugar substitutes and sugar-free foods that taste good. Some are better than others, but if he has a sweet tooth, you can experiment with things. I like Splenda in baked goods- it isn't that different! He'll still have to moderate, but they won't be as bad for him!

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M.W.

answers from New York on

Hello, I am a registered dietitian with experience in counseling management Type II Diabetes. I understand that you are overwhelmed by your concerns regarding your husband's health. My initial advice would to ask your husband's doctor for a referral to a CDE (certified diebetes educator) or an RD (registered dietitian) for education and an individualized diet plan. I would hope that there would be some options in your area for "charity care" as you don't appear to have insurance. I hope that the visit with the endocrinologist was helpful. Although each diabetic's diet plan should be individualized the very basic prinicples are avoiding foods food high in concentrated sugars (desserts and alcohol), regularily eating 3 small, well balanced meals daily (including protein, fat, and carbohydrates) as well as 1-2 small snacks daily if hungry (ie, 100 cal yogurt or 2 crackers with peanut butter. Regular blood glucose testing and recording the readings is recommended and the results should be provided to your husbands medical professionals. All the best to you.

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E.C.

answers from New York on

Go with him to his appt and ask for teaching. As well, go to a free health clinic and tell them your problem - they have nutritionists on hand to help educate you. You are right, it is a huge switch and stress. You can do it - you are in it together.

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T.W.

answers from New York on

Your husband's diabetes control needs to come from him but you can however by groceries according to what he can and can't have. I suggest you read up on it, getting yourself educated so that you can cook the right foods in a creative way; if certain foods are not their then he can't eat them. Also diabetes is not the end of the world, it can be controlled usually with diet and exercise but some times insulin is needed either via injection or by mouth. The other thing is when your husband goes to the doctor tomorrow go with him and be a part of it, providing your husband agrees. Keep in mind non-compliance is not uncommon so you are not alone on this. If your husband goes in to see the doctor alone then you can also talk to the staff and ask them for some help and support, a lot of times they will notify the doctor of your concerns and not it in your husband's chart.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Your doctor may have a nurse on his staff who is a diabetes educator, or your local hospital may have classes. Thats where you can learn the right way to cook, about meals, snacks, exercise, etc. I am an R.N> but when my husband became diabetic, I learned a lot from the classes that I otherwise would have not known.

It will be ok--just keep on caring and you'll do the right things.

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C.D.

answers from New York on

also must keep weight down

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G.A.

answers from New York on

I have diabetes too for the last 15 years. I take my glucose count every weekend and if I have the time in the morning, I take it too. I work so it's always a rush when I take it. If my count is high (as high as 205), despite all the medicines I am taking for diabetes, then, I control my food and get easy with whatever I am eating the whole day. My experience with my blood glucose is the count always depend on what I eat the night before. Ok, these are the food to avoid. Anything white. White bread (should be whole wheat bread), white pasta (should be whole wheat pasta), white rice (I eat brown rice), potatoes, etc. Always eat in moderation. Eat like a king for breakfast, a prince for lunch, and a pauper at night. Also, he should avoid stress. That adds up too to increase your glucose. Good luck.

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M.M.

answers from New York on

Hi... I empathize with you. I went through the same thing. In my case, my husband went through the phases (shock, depression and anger). He was diagnosed 2yrs ago with levels up to 395. He took matters into his own hands and read up on it. He also took the bull by the horns and started an excercise regime and started to eat healthier. There are many books out there, do your research and develop a strategy. It is extremely difficult in the beginning, be patient.

What you need to realize is that u must be supportive and not think as if the world is ending. Everything will be ok. Once you get the hang of eating healthier and excercising, your way of thinking will change.

Get into habits of reading the food labels. Phase out carbs, eat them on occasion and when you do, eat whole grains. Grill/bake instead of frying foods. Drinks water, no soda... if soda is needed try flavored carbonated water. Alcohol, almost nil.

I hope this helps. This has worked for us. My husband has lost 60 lbs and is in better shape than he has ever been. His blood sugar is normal - highest is 94 as opposed to 395 when he was first diagnosed.

With each others support, eating healthy and excercise - it def works.

Good Luck to you...

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