I Need Advice on My 2 Yr Old son...please Help

My little one has that problem, she has been doing that since she was a couple of months old. It was awful at first but it is getting better.. I just walk out the room when I do I look at her and say Iam going to do this I will be in here and if you want to you can come too.. Sometimes I let her watch cartoons or get her into something then leave. It will get better get don't pay any attention to him when he throws thoese fits, do what you need to do he will stop. It make take a while put he will get used to it and it will take sometime.. She is one now and it is not soo bad sometimes she still cries but not like she did.. I hope this helps good luck :)

For me, it seemed like a 2 year span where I was discipling our children all of the time. However, now that the kids are 16 and 14 I find over the years I have had to discipline them less than my counter-part friends who disciplined less when they were younger. Make sense?

Yes, you are not alone in this. Since you spent so much time with him because he had colic he still wants all of your attention and if he doesn't get it he cries or screams. Which he knows you are going to come running if he cries and screams. Conditioned response. Count to 10, take deep breaths, make sure he's okay and then divert his attention by giving him something to play with so that you can get your work done. I've always thought diversion is the best policy - even when I see young kids with moms in long grocery lines and they are starting to cry I start playing peek-a-boo with them so that their attention is diverted and it gives moms a break from a screaming, crying child in public. Just remember... this too shall pass.

If I had to guess I would say he is doing this because it works. It gets your attention even if it is negative attention. The rules have to change or nothing will. You have to make sure that screaming and whining don't work for him. If he can't behave he can't do whatever everyone else is doing. Put him either in a chair or his room telling him if he can't behave he can't be with you and your other child. When he is ready to be good again he can join back in. I hope you find what works best for you.

He sounds like he's working it! =)
Meaning, what he is doing is getting your attention. I've watched alot of supernanny type shows and when kids pull this stuff at bedtime, their solution was to, without speaking a word, put them back in bed each time.
Slowly, it started to dawn on the youngsters that they weren't getting the attention they wanted, so they stayed in bed. I wonder if you tried something similar, to phase it out and get him used to playing alone/occupying himself. I think it's an important step to take. Hope it helps.

Dear M.,

At 2 yrs old children go through a natural stage where they think out of sight means you are gone and they are left all alone. Punishing at this time of crisis for him, can create trust issues for your child. First you dissapear and then he finds you (by some miracle) and you respond by punishing him. This creates confusion as he was terrified about being left alone, he finds the one person who symbolizes love and security in his world and out of the blue...for no reason that he can see, that person is angry with him and punishes or yells at him. I know this phase can be exhasting but please try to see it from his point of view. Instead of punishing him when he finds you and is demanding your attention just take a minute to stop, reasure him that he is alright and that you love him and then continue with what you were doing. Talk out loud or sing when you leave the room so that he can hear your voice even if he can't see you. Does this take time? Will you have to repeat this 1000 times? Yes to both, but once your child realizes that just because you are out of his sight does not mean you have vanished and left him alone, then this behavior will cease and be replaced by something else that will leave you frazzled and bewildered...lol... Raising kids is not like telivison where the child shows up on cue...so the viewers know that there is a child on the show...and then dissappears for the rest of the episode. Awesome as that maybe parenting is intense, it will stretch every nerve to the breaking point and beyond, it will turns us all into our parents...or at least helps us to realize why they did or said something that we didn't understand at the time, but it is also the best job on the planet...you can help mold a small person into a responsible adult, you can do right what you felt your parents did wrong and you can find out how much you can completely love someone and still have more to give.

Be patient...this too shall pass.
K.

Maybe try to set aside just time for you and him to do something together and explain this is special time for you and him. Then when that time is up give solo time while you do a chore, check on hime every little bit to reassure him that you are not leaving him you have chores to finish. Also set aside time for the other child and that way she will know that you have not forgot her. You can also have group time, all 3 of you do a craft or play a game together. You may even try to include the children in your chores, give them a little something to do to help and reward them with a prize at a certain time of the day.

Certainly getting angry is only hurting the situation. My cousin's son is like this and she has to be sure to tell him what she's doing each time and he's ok. "Austin, I'm going to go in the other room, would you like to come or stay here?" He only get upset when he turns around and she's gone without notice. It's not that he's a mamma's boy, it's just separation anxiety which some kids worse than others. Try explaining to him what you are doing and making sure he understands and see if it doesn't change things for him.
Good Luck!

Hey hon, I really don't have any advice for you. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. I have a 6yo and 10mo asn I am a SAHM. My 10mo is so hard on me. He throws tantrums like a two yo and is very clingy. I believe it's from being together 24/7 so he thinks he has to be on me 24/7. He does the screaming, yelling for me too. It's drives me nut b/c most the time, I can't clean, cook or even go to the bathroom without him throwing a fit! So, hon, I feel your pain! Let us know how it all goes! GL! (((((M.)))))

S.

Dear M.

First of all, you are not a bad mother. There is some point on motherhood where we feel so exhausted and overwhelmed that makes us to react and vent a little bit. Some moms have the perfect nature to overcome "motherhood daily life" and others simply not, and that is not being a bad mother.
I think your little guy learned to be with mommy all the time whatever the reasons, and you will have to take a deep breath and let him cry a little bit. My little boy is very attached to me and I taught him that he can do many fun things to amuse himself. When I have to cook or clean or whatever chore is there for me to do, I hold him and I hug him and I tell him that mommy has things to do, so I put him near to me and give him some toys, even some crayons and paper (you can use those wonder pens, they do not make a mess). I have a spot for him to make any mess. He loves to tear paper apart, so I give him an old magazine and he is so happy playing with that..It may be sounds horrible for some..but it keeps him busy! The first time he would cry, but I wouldn't hold him, I just would calm him down and give him some things to play, but ALWAYS where I can have an eye on him...always.
Other things that worked for me were:
Give the child some old sock and let him help you dusting while you are sweeping for example.
Let him help you with the laundry, let him put some clothes in the dryer, I give my little guy the small things to put in there.
Make him to seat down and put a bin with blocks, show him how to put them in there and how to take them out (I am sure he already does that), and he will play with that while you are preparing some meals.
You have to have the idea that not everything is going to be fast or quick like it used to be, he is with you and it is going to take some time to get things D.. I feel frustrated also when that happens to me..and believe me...it happens to me, but...there is not much you can do until he reaches an older age...
Just try to be patient and I know is very hard..I know because I do not have babysitter, I do not have anybody else but my husband who can help me with the kids,and I use all my imagination to get my things D..
You can do it...!!!!!!!!!!!
take a time out sometimes and that will help you..
Good Luck
Alejandra

It may be you could use a little advice from some professionals like i am trying to do. You do how ever work full time and are not dealing with the situations constantly like myself.I am a full time mother. I have learned a magic 1,2,3 for behaviors for my adhd son but also works on other children also. go to the magic 1,2,3 website for instructions. it worked miracles. I am lucky I can stay at home. But sometimes i wish i worked so i could escape sometimes. that probably sounds horrible. dont take it the wrong way.you dont know me and i dont know you.please check out the 123 magic.good luck!you are not a bad mother.

He sounds like a high needs child who loves to be held and carried around. May I ask when he starts crying? Is it when he is playing and you leave the room to go and do chores and such? Or, do you put him in a playpen and walk away? Can you let him be in the room with you? Do you think it is separation anxiety? All children go through that phase, because they do not understand the concept of object permanence. My two year old also runs me all day, too, and I look forward to his nap time. Lucky for me, he still naps a good 3 hours a day. We have a good naptime routine. Could your little one be overtired or teething? Tell me more about your situation. One thing I do, is when I get the urge to yell, I remember that 1. it doesn't help 2. he doesn't understand 3. it will just damage the relationship we have. Instead, I breathe, and "under-react." I will say, No, no in a normal voice instead of screaming NO! My little one is learning, too, because he still gets the urge to do forbidden things, but he will catch himself, and repeat our little No, no mantra. He shakes his head, too. It's quite cute, and he is a lot happier not being yelled at. :-)

NATURALLY HEALTHY BABIES & CHILDREN by Romm
and
ENCYCLOPEDIA of NATURAL HEALTH & HEALING by Weber

You need to own copies of these. Might want to check 1/2 price books or AMAZON.

Give him so much positive attention that he can't stand it anymore. Hold him every chance you get, read to him, let him sit on your lap while watching t.v. or eating dinner. Really let him know you need him too. When he crys sit down and put your arms around him. Talk to him constantly. Let the house work slack and focus on developing an attachment with your son. It's sounds like he's really needing you and he's unhappy. Sons are much more emotionally sensitive and needy than daughters at this age. He's too old now for it to be just a stage of infanthood. If you don't work on giving him what he needs now it will only get worse later. Pulling away and discipling him might make him depressed and drag this out longer.