I can sympathize completely. I have been in a similar situation recently. We are in Finland and, after over two years, are finally moving back to our house in the US - not as early as I wished, but compromises were made and we are going home. My husband is Finnish, but has been in the US for well over 20 years. I can understand why he wants to stay, but there are many reasons we can't - not the least of which is our children's and my mental health. We are homesick. He is rarely here, his job is still in the US and he commutes. Those are the big reasons, but there are many more.
I had to sit my husband down and explain my fears very clearly to him. He hadn't really been listening before, so it was not easy to have this discussion. For him it was as if I had never said any of these things before. I told him that I felt like we were doomed. If we stay, I'll be so unhappy that we'll get a divorce. If we go home, he'll be so unhappy that we'll get a divorce. I told him that, as painful as it is, I would choose my mental health over our marriage.
I think he was listening to most of it this time. I spelled out in detail all of my fears, all of the things I was sure he would do if I insisted we go back. All of the things I would do if we stayed. It seemed he never really thought about any of it, just living in the moment...having a great time traveling and coming home for a little vacation before leaving again. He needed to hear the possible outcomes of this sort of life. He would end up very alone. That shocked him back to reality.
Our marriage is still a little rocky, but I'm hoping that when I'm back home in my house with my friends and I have my life back, my tolerance for all life's difficulties will go back up to where it was. I'm hoping that I will become myself again and not this crazy person that I seem to be now.
Living in a foreign country with children and no support is a miserable way to live your life. Your husband has no idea. You need to spell it out for him. You can use the bucket theory of tolerance: Your bucket is now full of dealing with foreigners, incomprehensible culture, children's fears and anxieties, etc. and doing it with not much help from him. There is no room in that bucket for dealing with mountains of laundry, unruly children, exhausted husband or the sticky kitchen floor.
You both need to compromise some, maybe a lot - I feel as if I've compromised more than I should. But that is how it goes. If you can get what you need in the end, sometimes the compromise is worth it.
Good luck.
K. P.