Husband Taking Preschooler to Public Bathroom?

I have a 4y daughter. When hubby is out with her by himself, he takes her into the men's bathroom. He would NEVER tell her to go in to the ladies room alone.

Good question- I wonder it myself. For what it's worth, my son's the same age and I always take him to the bathroom with me. I know the men's and women's restrooms are different, but I also take him with me into the showers at the pool. I do feel a little uncomfortable doing it, but there's no way I'd even send a boy into the men's shower alone (not that he can reach the shower button anyway!) and he's not the oldest boy I see in the women's room.

DH and I are w/ you.
DD (5) goes into the mens room if there is no other option.
If he needs to cover her eyes of tell her to close them-so be it.

I worked in retail for 13 years. My kids aren't going in the RR alone anytime soon.

I think you might be overdramatizing this one.
Do you worry about getting attacked every time you go into a public bathroom? So why would you worry about it or your daughter, especially when daddy is standing right outside.

If you're really that concerned, he should bring her into the men's room with him and have her use a stall.
But I think your worry on this one is a bit over the top, especially if she's totally independent using the toilet.

My husband takes our daughter into the mens room, she is only 3.

For the record, IMO sending a girl into the womens restroom alone is A LOT safer than sending a boy into a mens room alone!!

My husband JUST took my daughter to the mall for a little Daddy Daughter playdate last night and I asked him what he did when she had to go potty. She has been potty trained for a very short time and this was her first time out without me. He said he went to Sears, a bathroom he knew isn't a particularly busy one, and it was no big deal. He said he just held her (instead of having her walk) and had a little conversation with her about Mommy waiting at home to see her and snuggle before bed - this way she wasn't looking around, but he didn't actually say anything about not looking around, lol! So, he just takes her into the men's room. I'm not sure how I'll feel about this as she gets older, but for now I'm happy with that! She just turned 3 in June. Personally, I'm with you and don't think you're overly dramatic - maybe that makes me overly dramatic too, but do we really care as long as our babies are safe? I know I don't. :-)

My husband would wipe the toilets down before letting the girls sit down, He carried hand wipes from bbq restaurants. He took them in unitl the youngest was about 4.
He then stood outside the womens room and would call in.
I have walked into men's rooms with my boys, until about 7. No-one has ever said anything to me.
If one of my daughters has to go the other one goes with her. Even now, and they are 13 and 16.

As long as there's only one way in and out of that bathroom and he doesn't leave the door for a *second* then it's fine. He's probably not comfortable taking her into the men's room - there's not too much modesty going on in there, you know? haha

My daughter is almost 5 and LOVES to do things on her own, like go to the bathroom in public places. I just make sure to keep an eye on her. She needs to learn independance and have that self-confidence, otherwise I'm going to be walking my 16 year old to the public bathrooms! :o)

My husband takes our 4 year old into the mens room. It's not like men are leaping around in there with their penises completely exposed.

I don't allow my 4 year old in the womens bathroom alone. Not because I feel she would be endangered by other people, but because some women have HORRIBLE toileting habits, and children don't know to NOT use a toilet that is covered in feces or blood. Until I feel I am successful in teaching my daughter how to avoid unsanitary conditions, she will be accompanied into the bathroom.

My husband waits outside women's room. I don't recall ANY crimes against children occurring in women's rooms. Doesn't mean there haven't been, and doesn't mean there couldn't be, I just think unless you're in a sketchy one (subway, or rest stop on lonesome highway) you can pretty much assume the bathroom at the mall or Target is safe. AND he can call in or ask another lady coming or going if it's "safe in there".
Sometimes my daughter wants me to wait outside! I just call in every few seconds and say, "Are you OK?" or we play "Marco, Polo"

I personally never wanted my daughter in the men's room. She did go with my husband a few time though wen she was really little, but not at 4.

I wait outside the men's room for my son, 3 (if he requests, sometimes he'll still let me take him in the lady's room), which does scare the pants off me, but again, they are in easy to monitor places and I always yell in and make sure no one is in there. If there is no answer, I physically LOOK in there. If someone is in there, we wait until it's all clear.

I have taken my sons with me to the bathroom up until 5 or 6, depending on how much guidance they still need. You never know who is in bathrooms, I took my boys with me until they understood that no one is to help them and to keep to themselves. I would advise keeping her with you / husband. I always tell my boys (and I think the reverse is true too) when you are in a ladies room, you don't look under the stalls, you clean up after yourself, and you be respectful since you are in a ladies room! It can also be an opportunity to teach them respect for privacy and keeping our parts to ourselves!

My husband used to take his daughter into the men's room if I wasn't around.

my daughter and son go together (they are 5 & 7) only at 1 particular restaraunt and when we are within eye distance of them. they also go into the same stall together. i take them with me most of the time. or my husband will take them into the bathroom with him. just take them into a stall and that's that. ;). i've had little kids come in by themselves while i've been in the bathroom and i just help them out if they need it. my daughter has also told me that people have turned on the sink for her when she couldn't reach. but i would not let them bo by themselves alone into a restroom.

updated to add: it's not just sketchy bus stations. they had a sting operation in my area. i live in a smaller town. it was called foot tapping. they were men trying to lure others by tapping their feet in other stalls. it was in the public library and also the sears at the mall.

i think he should take her with him into the mens room, cover her eyes if he feels better. people forget that woman can be sexual predators too, i myself was molested by my 13 year old stepsister when I was very little, from ages 4 to 6. some women may think you are being overprotective, but if you are keeping your daughter safe then isnt that what counts??? what is she tripped and hit her head and got hurt? what if a creepy women was in there? you just never know, better to be safe than sorry

I have a son that is older than your little girl and I still take him into the women's room, or I have him check the men's bathroom right away and come tell me if it is empty and then I stand by the door and wait. I feel overcautious too, but there are a lot of creeps out there. Every time I let my guard down I hear another story about a missing child. Good for you for being vigilant.

When I was a kid, my dad used to go golfing with his friends every sunday. But he had to take me & my sister with him. He used to have me and my sister turn our backs to the mens restroom while he checked to make sure noone was at the urinal and than he would escort us to the stall, and wait outside the door. When we were done if a man was using the urinal he made us wait inside the stall until they were done so that we didnt see anything nor did anyone feel uncomfortable. I think once we were about 6 he started sending us to the ladies restroom on our own

my husband would bring my daughter into the mens room. She is 6 now and knows how to use the bathroom and wash her hands by herself, but I think he did that until she was around 5 years old. She is still young enough to go into the mens room with your husband

no way would I want my daughter going into a mens restroom. They are dirty, disgusting, and gross! Men stand with thier pants unzipped against the wall. No way is that better than going to a womans room. I have a 4 yr old girl and 5 yr old boy. My husband took my girl into the public restroom at the swimming pool and you know what happened....they called the police! They thought HE was a perv predator. The police instructed him to send her into the womans room and stand outside the door. He said wait 3 minutes and then go in after her or send another woman in to check on her - PER THE POLICE! What I do with my son is send him into the mens room and I stand right outside the door. I crack the door and call out to him after a minute or two, he answers, everybodys ok. As long as a parent is standing vigil and checking in, no predator is going to see that as an opportunity.

Well what do you expect him to do? I'm sure he sits at the door and waits and the bathroom is small enough that if she starts screaming he will be there in a flash. If you were talking about a mens room with a little boy and a mom then that would be a different story but you said yourself she can go potty, dad waits and I'm sure she knows "don't talk to strangers.. etc". I don't think you have any reason to be upset, kudos to your husband for taking your daughter on dates, not many dads want to do stuff like that so be thankful.

I know you've gotten a lot of responses that cover all areas, but I wanted to put my two cents in. We have a 5 1/2 year old daughter and if she is out with Daddy by herself then yes he takes her into the mens room. It's not like the men in there are swinging anything around. They face the wall, do their business, and zip it up. He has told me that it's no big deal and he would rather have her with him safe then hanging out in a ladies restroom by herself. I agree with Sunshine that there are people out there with "HORRIBLE" bathroom habits, both men and women. Sure safety issues may be more prevalent in a men's room then a women's but it's still possible. If you are more comfortable with him taking her in with him then tell him that and ask him to please respect that. I can't imagine he'd want anything to happen to his little girl! Probably by the time she starts Kindergarten she (and you) will be ready for her to go on her own!

1- It's creepy to bring a child at that age into the men's room. Do you REALLY want her seeing what's, uh, 'hanging out' in there? No.

2- There are no bad guys in the bathroom, I promise. Maybe at the downtown Richmond, VA Greyhound bus station, but not at the movie theater. If anything, there are other mom's in there trying to get their kids to wash and dry their hands while trying to not touch anything unnecessary ;)

When my family went to Luray Caverns, I let me 6 and 7 year olds go into the bathroom solo, because I had the baby stroller. My husband FREAKED, ran in there, only to find my daughters helping ANOTHER younger little girl wash her hands and reach the paper towels because HER dad let her go by herself.

With the exception of the bus station I mentioned and probably sketchy gas station restrooms that look like something out of a horror film, it's really, REALLY okay to let kiddos go by themselves. Just teach them, without scaring them, what to do if they do encounter someone that makes them feel uncomfortable.

At least in my world the rule of thumb is if they child is of the opposite gender as the parent dragging them around you can only take them in with you if they are pretty much a baby. Ya know, like in your husbands case young enough that men are not made uncomfortable by peeing in front of her. Four is way too old for that.

I was never comfortable sending my sons into the boys restroom at that age but it really is the right thing to do. So much nicer now that they are older.

My son goes into the womens room with me he is 4. My oldest was 8 the last time i had him go with me. My husband would take my daughter in there until she was 6. Her father still takes her in at 8. But personally I think that is too old.

You'd rather she go in the men's room with her dad and see strange men's penises????

I see no harm if he is right outside the door waiting for her he would hear something if anything happened. I think if men's rooms had all private stalls like women's rooms do it would be different but unfortunately that isn't the case.

Edited: if you read the article she didn't go in to use the bathroom she was lured in by the men that is totally different then being attacked because a psycho is hanging out in the bathroom. Most children are molested, kidnapped, murdered by someone they are close to not by total strangers.

Maybe get a travel potty from Babies R Us, like the "Pottette plus" and then you can set it up in your car, and she can use that when she's with your husband if they're somewhere that does not have a "Family Restroom".

I don't think I'd want my kid in a restroom by herself either, and I don't think I'd want her in the men's room for sure!

a lot of places do have the family restrooms now, but if they don't I think he should take her. My 4 year old cannot go to the bathroom by himself ( and I realize that he is not typical) but still, for safety reasons alone he should accompany her. I am under the impression that mens restrooms have at least one stall.

My hubby HATES taking our son into the men's room bc he says they are mostly always so nasty no matter where you are, but he does it and I am sure if we ever had a daughter he would do the same. I didn't read the story but I have heard of too many pervs out there and four is small. I think he would do better just taking her in the men's room, having a good hand washing and moving on. I really do understand him not wanting his baby girl sitting on a potty in most men's rooms, but going in alone just has too many potential risks at her age I think. Good luck!

My husband takes our daughter in with him. She's only 3, but that's the plan for a while yet.

Honestly, if she is capable of going in and taking care of business, then she should be able to go by herself. I have both a son and daughter. It wasn't until my son turned 8 that I let him go in the mens bathroom by himself but I stand at the door and after 2 minutes I yell in and ask if he's ok. That way he hurries and the men know I'm right there. Its highly unlikely that a woman child molester is going to be hanging out in a public bathroom. Much more likely to happen in the mens room.

at 4 I would have hubs take her into the boys room. There are stales, so she can have privacy. I agree that 4 is too young to be alone in a public rest room

She's 4. How old do you think she should be? Make sure she understands to run out screaming if anyone ever tries anything, but that's highly doubtful. I also doubt that other men, your daughter or you want her going in the men's room with them standing there at urinals! How did you think she was using the bathroom when they go out?

Seems to me she would be perfectly safe in the women's bathroom with dad waiting outside. I didn't read the story in your SWH, so I guess I'm not sure what you think the danger is? Have you even found scary men in the women's restroom? I've been going to the ladies' room for decades and I've never found anyone "lurking", mostly just women trying to get in and out without touching anything unnecessarily.

IMO would rather have my daughter go into the womans then the mens. If he is waiting outside he can see who goes in and comes out.

I would prefer he let her go into the ladies' room alone while he stands right outside than if he brought her into the mens' room.
My husband used to bring my daughter to the ladies' room and wait outside. She was capable... and it made her feel like a big girl.
LBC

i Had to skim threw the stry before i said my input. I havent read the comments below but here goes. My husband (even if i am with them) takes my daughter who is 2 in the mens bathroom. we take turns on taking her potty so she is ok to go with both parents in both restrooms in case only one is with her. Ok now, I sit for my nephews at times who are ages 5,9, and 10. and even hough they think its gross. I make them go to the womens bathroom with me if they have to potty. NEVER do i let them go alone. I think you need to sit your hubby down and explain to him that even though she is getting older You want him to take her into the mens restroom when she has to go. They have stalls as well and he can stand outside the stall and wait for her NOT THE BATHROOM. that way You know she is safe and there is still "privacy" for both. Just tell Him its for her safety bc you just never know who is out there and what they can do in a few minutes that can destroy your life forever! Good Luck!!