Husband Let the Cat Out of the Bag on Birthday Gift!

Updated on September 30, 2009
A.J. asks from Medford, OR
8 answers

Our daughter's 4th birthday is in two weeks. Last week, I found the pink Leapster 2 she wanted on sale, so I went ahead and got it. She's been talking about this toy since July when she played with her cousin's while they were visiting us. I showed it to my husband and hid it in the closet in his home office while she was at preschool. Let me be clear on that--HE KNEW IT WAS IN THE OFFICE CLOSET! He also knows that I constantly have to keep her out of his office while he is in there working. This morning, I heard her screaming and crying from the office. He had opened the closet to get something while she was behind him. She saw her birthday present and was upset because she can't have it for 2 weeks. I'm so angry! I feel like he has ruined her birthday. We don't even have the cartridges for it yet because other relatives are getting those for her. So, I can't just give it to her early. We told her to forget she even saw it because it can go back to the store and then she'll have to wait until Christmas. But, I won't do that because she shouldn't be punished for her dad being an idiot! Thankfully, she didn't see another gift that was also in there--a really great dress up costume that my mom bought her earlier this summer. We've managed to hide that for months without her knowing about it. Has anyone else had this happen? What did you do?

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So What Happened?

OK, I think I can get over being upset. I know he didn't do it on purpose. I'm just disappointed that the surprise is ruined. Like most people right now, we don't have much money and we can't afford to get her another surprise. Also, anytime my baby hurts, I get very "Mama Bear" towards who ever caused it. Yes, it was partially my fault for putting it in that closet, but we don't have much choice in our house. All the closets are full except for that one. Anyway, tomorrow after she goes to preschool, I'm going to wrap up her gifts and hide them some place else in case she decides to go looking before her birthday. She seems to have forgotten what happened this morning, so maybe she'll still be surprised. I know she'll be happy because we got her something she really wants and it will all be alright in the end.

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

While I understand you are upset - I would be too, there's nothing you can do about it now. Make it a learning experience and next time bag the item or wrap it right away.
Remember that a few years from now it will be a funny story that you will tell each other..."remember the one time you opened the closet door..."

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

Wow. Take it easy on hubby. It sounds like a simple mistake. You make it sound like he deliberately told her about the gift. All he did was open the door. And, if the present was in plain sight, and you're the one who put it in the closet, and you are well aware that she likes to hang out in the office, then you probably hold as much blame, as your husband.

Either way, it's best to remember that this was an accident, no matter who was the most responsible for it. Furthermore, this is not the end of the world. Your daughter knows about a really great gift that she is getting for her birthday. It is not operable yet, but will be on her birthday. How is that such a tragedy?

5 moms found this helpful

M.B.

answers from Seattle on

A.,

My first thought is why the HECK would you hide a toy in a room that she's constantly in? I don't see how your husband is the idiot here, when you posted that you constantly have to chase your 4 year old out of that room.

When we've done things like this I've hidden them in the very back corner of my bedroom closet shelf, wrapped in multiple bags from various stores. Or, I hide it under my bed near my nightstand. Or, in a dresser drawer under all my clothes. Or, in another house altogether.

I think on this one you both screwed up and placed the coveted toy somewhere easy for your daughter to find it.

All that being said, there are a couple of games hardwired into the system that she can have fun with without any game cartridge installed.

Kindly,
Melissa

3 moms found this helpful

K.B.

answers from Portland on

I would suggest next time hiding the gift somewhere you are not constantley trying to keep her out of. Good luck w/ her b-day....I am sure it will all be fine. and I am sure your husband feels bad.

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K.M.

answers from Spokane on

I would relax over it, its unfortunate but not the worst thing that can happen. I would let her have it early but explain that the cartridges aren't available until her birthday, We still let our kids have their Christmas presents early so they can enjoy them over the holiday break from school. Usually we travel or have family during Christmas so its really nice for just the 4 of us to have a little Christmas celebration early. Truly, in a few years it won't seem like such a big deal.

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S.C.

answers from Spokane on

I would let her see it, hold it, etc. but explain to her that she won't have the games for it until her birthday. (So, I would let her have it anyway). This might help (or not!, but it is what I would do). I think it would work with my son, who is 4, almost five. That is a bummer that it happened, but make the best of it! S.

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T.O.

answers from Seattle on

These things happen, it's not worth being upset about. I have a 4 year old daughter and they want everything now!

Your husband probably had something on his mind when he opened the closet and then realized when it was too late.

She just needs to be patient, tell her their is a bigger surprise if she waits until Christmas and will be surprised when she gets the whole gift on her Birthday.

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H.O.

answers from Anchorage on

Give her a short succinct answer and make sure she understands that whining and crying over it won't make it happen any sooner. Also, move the present to another location, and let your husband out of the doghouse. He didn't mean to give it away and really, its not the end of the world. If you keep her busy for the next days until her birthday and give her lots to think about besides that she will be very surprised when she opens the gift.It's kind of not very nice though to threaten not to give it to her. She's only four and really..waiting for anything is very hard at that age..they don't have a very good sense of time. You are right she shouldn't be punished for your husband accidentally showing her but neither should he. There are worse things he could do....so I suggest you laugh it off because really..it could have been worse. A child can usually keep track of days by the their age. So, figure out a way to help her count the days and mark them off on a calendar and then she can do something a little fun that will help her see that her birthday is really really close and it isn't that long. You might talk about your schedule, and days go by fast when we are busy. Commiserate with her on the wait. Tell her you are very excited too because she is getting so big and turning a new number is really really cool and exciting and talk about plans that you can talk about..like what kind of cake..maybe what you might decorate it with. Let her pick out certain things..her outfit, her favorite frosting, her candles perhaps. But just divert divert divert and move on with life. It's not the end of the world!

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