How to Do Christmas and a Birthday

I have to tell you my daughter was born Dec 17 1991 and my son was born Dec 1 1992 so what I have done is I leave it up to the friends and family to decide what they are doing. Now that I have a 15 and 14 year olds I let them choose to either have it together or apart and they still get gifts for both christmas and theyre birthday.

M.,
My sone was born 2 days before christmas, i hold his birthday two weeks before christmas, and who ever can come comes, but i never tell people they have to. Then my husband and i do a special day in july for my son we call it his half birthday. He loves getting a single gift and a dinner outon his half birthday.

Hey there, My son's birthday is also the 21st of Dec so very close to x-mas...I feel the same way, and anyone who loves that child should understand where you are coming from! I haven't really had a party for him cause of it being so close to x-mas but this year I am havin one for him and it will be a nice one! So good luck to you

Hello,

I know you already posted your result. My daughter's birthday is the 29th too (mine is the 11th). We sent out invitations ahead of time, and had her party the weekend after Christmas weekend. We had a great time, and decorated everything with pinks and yellows and already had the Christmas tree, etc., cleaned up. So the house looked like a birthday party house, not after Christmas party house. You'll probably always get the birthday/Christmas presents (I always did too) but your daughter will enjoy the party and the love you shower her with, not the presents.

God Bless You and keep you happy this Christmas season.

K.

Are you having a separate birthday party for her? If so, can you save some of the presents from Christmas to be opened on her birthday if the giver will attend both days? I'm sure they would understand if you explain it that way. And to be truthful, my son just turned one in November and he didn't have a clue about the presents. You may not have to worry about this until next year.

A little late I know... 2 yrs late but I read your question about Christmas Birthdays. THEY SUCK!! My birthday is the 24th of December... Yah, sucks!! LOL My mother used to let me celebrate my birthday on June 24th when I was older, of course we would celebrate with family on my birthday but when I reached 5th grade and up it was celebrating in the summertime. I liked that much better because of the fact of getting my birthday presents wrapped in Christmas paper :(. And when ppl tell me ... Oh this is for your birthday and christmas I remind them when it's THEIR birthday that I already had given them a Christmas present so they weren't getting a birthday present too because I didn't get one :).
Good Luck,

My sons birthday is Dec 29th also and he is having his 5th so I know what you mean! But I always have a seperate party from Christmas (usually the first weekend in Jan is how it works out, but this year it will be on his birthday) and I also ask them to not use Christmas wrapping paper, to make sure it is birthday paper. I have all of my Christmas decorations down and packed up by his party so if feels more like a birthday party then another Christmas one. They will get the hint that you want them seperate! Good luck it has worked out for us so far!

I have the same problem, my daughter was born on the 21st and I really don't want for people to do the birthday/Christmas gift all in one - it's just not fair - if her birthday was in June they wouldn't tell me they didn't have the money/time to buy/make her a birthday gift and a Christmas gift and that is how I explain it to those in my family/friend circle that will be giving my daughter both gifts.

The way I feel is you know that her birthday is coming, plan for it, make a budget, buy/make her gift in June if you don't think that you are going to have the money/time in December (my mother is such an earlier gift buyer she will have Christmas presents finished in January).

And I know that she won't care for several years what she receives for her birthday - I just don't what the adults in her life getting into the habit of giving one gift so that when she is older and she does understand, she doesn't feel like she is being overlooked. because you know how hard it is to get people to change their ways once they are in a habit of doing it one way - you know old dog new trick and all.

That being said - since it is Christmas time I am planning her party early so that I don't interfere with holiday plans - as a matter of fact I'm having her party this Saturday.

OK enough of my rantings - I have told those in my life that I want my daughter to feel special on her birthday and that I would prefer that she receive 2 gifts one for her birthday and one for Christmas instead of just one gift. If they are "small" then they are small so be it. When she is older and can make the decision for herself if she would rather have one "BIG" gift then that is her decision not mine.

My son's birthday is the 29th as well. I've just always been very blunt about the fact that his birthday is completely seperate from Christmas. I'm sure I've stepped on some toes over the years, but I'm not losing any sleep over it.

One thing that I've done since he's getting older (he'll be 10 this year) is have just a small immediate family thing on (or close) to his actual birthday. I wait until the second weekend in January to have his big party with friends & cousins. Everyone is back in school by then, so you don't have to worry that friends will be on vacation & people have gotten over Christmas by then.

Good luck!

Ask them to please not wrap the birthday gift in Christmas paper. They'll get the hint!

My daughter's birthday is 4 days BEFORE Christmas, so I can understand where you're coming from. I haven't found an incredibly polite way to hit this point home with everyone, but I think most people understand it without being told. There are a few things you can do to keep the birthday and Christmas separate in people's minds. If you send out birthday invitations, make sure they are birthday-ish and not Christmas-like and make sure to send them out separate from your Christmas cards. When we had her birthday party we did it the weekend before so that it was even further removed from the holiday. We also decorated one room solely for her birthday party and made sure there were no Christmas decorations in that room.

One thing we have considered doing is celebrating her half-birthday so that her party would be in June instead of December, we're considering doing this when she's a little older -- people are so busy around the holidays who really has time for another party in December? Since we don't care about gifts so much as we want to people to remember that her birthday is separate and distinct from Christmas, we are considering asking people not to buy birthday gifts but instead to make a donation to their favorite charity in her name in the amount they would have spent on a gift or to give her cash so that we can make one big gift to a charity that she chooses.

Another thing you could do is to designate Christmas as a time to get fun gifts and birthday as a time for practical gifts. For my daughter's first birthday we asked for diapers and we got so many that we didn't have to buy them for months! You could do this by including letters from your daughter with the birthday invitations that say something like "Santa's going to bring me soooo many toys but what I really need is ______." (This could cover everything from diapers to college fund donations).

Whatever you do, just keep it light and humorous and remeber that people are going to do what they're going to do regardless, but most will try to stay within boundaries if you let them know what the boundaries are.

I understand fully where you're comming from. My nieces birthday is on christmas day. Normally my brother will celebrate it two weeks before or after. or he'll just ask people if instead of buying one expensive gift, to please buy two for the price of one. And we do her birthday on christmas day at night. She loves it. People tend to forget that children don't care how much it's worth. ask any kid what they prefer, one gift or two. I'm sure you know the answer. Good luck! And happy early birthday!

Why does it matter if she gets a discounted gift? At only a year old, she won't know, remember or care. Actually, my 14 month old's favorite toy is a rotating poker set that we got a few Christmases ago.

I have a bit more understanding for your situation if the gift was previously used, but a discount gift is a great way to go, and as new as anything you'd buy today. I have a birthday four days from Christmas, too, and growing up the only gift that annoyed me were Christmas-related gifts (I mean, the season is over by then!) and calendars. I used to get so many calendars...

Hi M.,

I understand completely where you are coming from. Both of my kids birthdays are right after Christmas and I think it is very rude to do the "Birthday-Christmas" gift.
Most of the people that I invite to the birthday parties already know my opinion on the subject. I have periodically (in conversation)let my opinion out without directing it at any one person. It must have worked because neither of my kids have yet to get a combined gift.
Good Luck!

M.,

I would choose one or the other.

Do you normally do a Christmas party every year? Then specify on your invitation (written or verbal) that this year will be different. You are having a birthday party. You can still use holiday decorations if you want with some Happy Birthday mixed in, but remember that this is Jesus' birthday, too, so be careful about that. No one's birthday is more important than Jesus'. You may have other family members who are sensitive to that, too.

However, there's no reason why you can't have a party totally dedicated to your one year old's birthday! In that case, maybe your party decorations should outnumber the Christmas. You have a child and you are alive to raise her!

Just remember that the key to all this is to tell all the guests that this is a birthday party and not a Christmas party.I don't know if you were trying to get a Christmas and a birthday present for your daughter or not, but some people will and some won't. Leave it up to them. Close friends and family members will probably want to, and regardless of how much they can afford it or not, some people will want to give both, so accept it. (The joy is in the giving!)

You won't ruin her first birthday. She doesn't know if she gets Christmas/birthday presents.

Good luck!

I don't want to be a party pooper, but am I the only one that DOESN't want ALL these gifts? My son just celebrated his first birthday and I considered requesting NO gifts. Kids don't NEED all of these things. I have seen so many parties where the kids get duplicates, or they open the gifts and they forget them 5 minutes later. My bonus sons play with a fraction of the toys they get for their birthday's and Christmas and we only get a fraction of what they recieve because the rest goes to their moms (who has a basement FULL of toys they will never play with) I want birthdays AND Christmas to truly be about spending time with family and friends and very little about the gifts. I'm not a scrooge - I love the holiday and birthday's are really important. But a handmade card and cake mean soooooo much more than anything someone can buy in a store. Off my soapbox. Please let me know if you agree with me or if I'm off my rocker.

Hi M.
Send out Birthday invitations about a week before Christmas. That way those that attend will bring a Birthday gift and those that don't or can't afford 2 gifts will gift at Christmas. I can understand your concerns of not wanting your child to feel like she is left out during her Birthday but she is too young to really have any idea what is going on right now. The people that really count are her mom and dad. As long as you always make that day special that will be all that matters.
God Bless
D.

You have to realize that people are going to spend their money the way they want..and that you has to except that..The best way that I can say to do that..don't tell them anything..you should go and buy your child some Christmas gifts and Birthday gifts..
A person might take that the wrong way and don't give her anything..just let it be, and you go and buy seperate gifts.

hope this helps..take care

M. W.
It is a fact of life that those of us with a birthday near Christmas lose out. My birthday is on the 18th, ONE WEEK EXACTLY BEFORE CHRISTMAS. I turn 43 this year.
Growing up my parents put up the tree as a part of my birthday! GREAT. I would have my family all come on CHRISTMAS and we had my cake then, when I got older we had the cake and tree party.
I just once want to give someone a gift in JUNE and say this is your BIRTHDAY AND CHRISTMAS GIFT!
It comes EVERY YEAR, Christmas and my Birthday. NO one ever prepares enough so that is the reason.
You may get away with the seperate occassion while young but most people will just blow it off.
Let your child know how special THEY ARE and how THOUGHLESS others are because of Christmas.
Good Luck,
C.

Hi M.,

I'm in the exact same situation as well as one of my friends. We both had babies in December and they are both turning one this month. We BOTH had a birthday party the first part of December so that it was seperate from Christmas. A gift for Birthday does not have to be expensive and if people want to celebrate the birthday, they will find a way to get a gift, or at least make an appearance to celebrate. I decided that I did NOT want my child growing up w/out celebrating their birthday even though he/she was born in December. It is not their fault. If I were you, I would make the party before Christmas and/or maybe the first part of January. People still may give her gifts at Christmas and specify its for her birthday which I have seen this happen too. Good Luck!

M.,
Hi, I know this is a tough one. My nephew has a New Years Eve Birthday and it has always been hard for him. It never feels like it can be his 'special' day. One thing I could suggest is pushing the party out just a little. My sister would often wait until mid-January to give things a chance to settle down and give his party a little more hype. Also, especially in these early years, she wont feel short changed by lack of gifts. Since she will only know about this birthday through pictures a little creative staging might help. rewrap a few of her dual christmas gifts in birthday paper and take pictures of her starting to open them. It makes for better scrapbooking. Just be careful of video cameras. Some people may not agree with that part!!ha ha Good luck, J.

I don't think it will ruin her 1st b-day if she doesn't get many presents, my son turned 1 last May and he knew no difference when it came to his presents. He could care less about them! I'm sure it will bother you more. When she gets older, I am sure that her relatives will honor her b-day seperately, but really how many toys and such can a 1 yr old possibly have! Our nieces b-day is Dec. 29, and my cousins is Christmas, and they have always had seperate parties and gifts! Don't worry, I am sure it will be a 1st b-day to remember for you so you can tell her when she is older!!

M.,

My son's birthday is January 6. We have had similar issues (he's going to be 4 this January). What we do is have his birthday celebration with friends and family either before Christmas or long after. Then ON his exact birthday, we go out of town for an overnight at a hotel and a destination that he likes (Indianapolis Children's Museum is FANTASTIC). This way he gets the party, but he also gets some special time with us as a family.

I think we'll carry this tradition on as we have more children. Our son has really enjoyed it thus far!

T.

My daughters birthday is December 29th. I've never had a problem w/any of my family combining her gifts. For her first birthday I had a separate one from Christmas. I think I had it after new years so everyone had their holidays over with. Now when it's my year to have Christmas we celebrate her birthday the same day so everyone doesn't have to make another trip over. She never gets jipped. I guess I'm lucky, my brothers and sisters and I have always had an understanding that we spend $30 on each niece or nephew for Christmas and $30 for their birthday. We always keep it fair. I'm close enough w/them too that I'd tell them if they jipped her.

When she got a couple years older we would then have a family party and a separate friends party. We always end up having the friends party after the new year. It's much easier for people and if they go out of town they're definately back by then.

Good luck!
S.

I have lived with having my birthday on Christmas day... this year I'll be 30. But growing up my mother always tryed to make it special.. Having an earlier/ or in your case even a later party with friends/ and family so it wouldn't interfere with the Christmas parties. Also we would have a family Christmas dinner either at lunchtime or dinnertime and then the other would be my birthday with cake.. to make it special.

I had people give me one gift before and when I asked what they bought it for (because you know they went shopping for one or the other) they could never choose.

I would just be honost and approach family and friends and let them know your concerns and tell them you want to make your daughter's first birthday a special one.

Hope this helps you out.
Merry Chirstmas!!
C.

I think its great that my child's Birthday is right after Christmas. We take advantage of the after Holiday Sales and what we couldnt get her for x mas we got for her Birthday.

Hi, M.. My niece was born on Christmas day and she will be two this year. Our family is so spread out across the country that we only get together every other year for Christmas. Last year was our year. My sister had the same dilemma. It is tight enough for all of us to buy Christmas presents, but she really wanted to have a party for her little girl. Since Christmas was on Sunday, we had a small party for her on Friday evening. All the family was there and then we invited some other cousins. My sister has decided that she is going to have a non-birthday sort of thing for her. They can always celebrate her birthday on Christmas when we are all together, but other years, she decided that she would have a party at another time so that she still gets her special day. Especially for her first several birthdays she is not going to know the difference anyway. I don't think that people should be offended. Most of us just got her a toy for her birthday gift and then an outfit for Christmas or the other way around. It was not a huge deal. I know that this is hard because you want to have the best party for your little one. I hope that this helps.

My daughter was born on the 28th of december and then my son's birthday is the 25th of january both right after christmas and i always just have a party in the middle of january for them both. i give out invites well before christmas so that everyone knows and no one can say this is for your birthday to. a few ppl get an extra gift if they can't make it to the party but that's about it. no one has ever seemed upset or anything by it. you could also just have her birthday early in december to beat teh holiday rush. i don't know if you will ever compensate for teh money issue ppl run into this time of year she may always get less than she would if her birthday was in say May but you can at least give her a party adn then give her christmas and that is what matters. good luck

M.,

I can sympathize. My birthday is Dec. 24.

When I was a child, my family took pains to make sure that I understood that my birthday was a separate event from Christmas. My birthday party decorations, cake, and presents never had a Christmas theme, and until I was in my teens, the tree never even went up until after my birthday party was over!

Of course, none of this made any difference to me until I was well into my school-age years. I just thought Christmas lasted 2 days! Once I was older and more mature, I had a handle on the whole birthday/Christmas concept. At 13, relatives would ask me what I preferred... two small gifts, or one big "combined" gift. Of course, the combined gifts were spectactular! I got a piano that year. I still have that piano and I will be 38 this year!

So what I'm trying to say is that I understand your concern, but at only a year old, your daughter won't have much of an opinion either way. One of the other women who responded to your inquiry said that she would mention her preference in general conversation (during the "off" season) and people will get the hint and remember your feelings on the subject. If things don't turn out quite the way you would prefer this year, you've got another year's worth of opportunities to gently work your opinion into general conversation and your daughter will never know the difference!

Good luck to you!

My son will be 5 on Christmas day this year. We haven't had a problem with the present thing so far... he's gotten tons and it doesn't seem to matter what it's wrapped in, who gave it to him, etc. Truthfully, with all the stuff kids get these days, the fewer the presents the better! (seriously)

Your child won't need more than a cake, a birthday song, and some presents to open for a few years yet. Later, when your child is in school and it's more of a traditional 'birthday party', send invitations and make it as 'birthday' as possible. Just make it as separate from the holidays as possible.

M.,

My birthday is December 30th and have always fallen into the Christmas/Birthday gift. My mom was always very careful to let friends and relatives know that we were celebrating Christmas on the 25th and then my birthday on the 30th or even on the first. She made sure that I had a birthday party that was seperate from Christmas.

I think their is always someone out there that is going to do the Christmas/birthday gift and there is nothing you can do about it, but if you send out invitations stating it is a birthday party then it should be clear that a birthday gift is needed.

I hope that helps.

K.

Hi M., I know this is a late post but I need to post this... My birthday is Dec. 28 and growing up and still to this day I HATE getting Christmas gifts and Birthday gifts together especially when the presents are wrapped in christmas paper! We as children who were born on or near Christmas had no choice, so I took it upon myself 3 years ago to celebrate my birthday in July. It has worked out for me, look on the bright side of it, at least it is warm in July....lol I just turned 31 (leagally) and I love celebrating my "special day" in July!

M.,
As a mother who went way($600) overboard on a first birthday exstravaganda I know how you feel!!!! It is not just a special for her but for you and the father also (because you survived the 1st year LOL) And it looks like you went through alot to get there.
If you plan to have a party have it after the holidays, at this point it is to hard to plan before. Use a one of those themed decorations for 1st or make your own.(we used baby einstien) Put on the invites gifts are not nessasary. Just make sure you personally use BIRTHDAY only decorations ect.. and it will be fine. If you feel comfortable enough tell people you are very close to why you are doing this they may pass the word for you.
Because my daughters 1st fell on labor day we did hers the weekend after not to mix the holidays too. It is a very special day and should not be overlooked. My nieces 1st (last year) was on the 17th of Dec and my sister faced this same fear. It went great. Sure she did not get a whole lot of gifts. BUT noone used christmas wrapping paper and there were no christmas decorations up at the time.
Good luck
Happy holidays
and Congrats on making it one year LOL :-)

I would say not to worry about it too much. My Birthday is January 2nd and while it isn't as close as your daughters I can say that as a little kid I thought it was the neatest thing because I got presents starting on Christmas Eve (my moms side had their party) all the way through my birthday. My mom always tells me she was worried about the same thing so what she did is if they gave me a present on christmas that was meant to be for my birthday then she would save it for my birthday. If they gave it to me after christmas but before my birthday then she would ask that person if they wanted me to open it in front of them. Anyway long story short it's not that big of a deal and like one of the other moms said, a person will spend their money how they want. Plus I would also like to add that if they combine the gifts it may end up being a "nicer gift" that they normally wouldn't be able to spend that much on one gift but if they combine it then they can. If they do one combined gift I would recommend saving as many gifts for birthday as possible just to make that more special.
I would also recommend always doing her birthday the weekend after... so even if her birthday is on a Monday still do it on that following Saturday/Sunday, just to spread it out a little. This year is a little tough because Christmas is Monday which means her birthday will be Friday but in the future you her birthday party will end up being later.

Hi I know how you feel. My husbands brithday is 34 days after christmas all we do is ask our friends when we have christmas its christmas when we have brithdays it a brithday.. tell your friends (hers) It dont have to cost alot... Something small for each Her brithday and christmas..

Merry Christmas and tell ur little one Happy brithday