Hubby Turning 40 - San Fernando,CA

Only have a party if he's that type of guy that enjoys it. Invite a few of his
friends, have beer (or wine), steak, mashed potatoes, salad, bread.

You can certainly make him a mancave but it'll take a bit of time & possibly some money.

If he would love Napa then take him to watch the Hot Air Balloons, go wine tasting, have a nice dinner.

Go with what HE would like. Think of he loves to do. Is it low key? Then
plan that. If he's an outgoing, party type, then invite HIS friends over.

Let him build his own man cave. Guys are so specific about that sort of stuff.

If he has lots of friends and family, a party sounds fun.

I would take my hubby on the trip. And I'd get a hot air balloon ride for him. Why just watch?

I would ask him what he wants since he is turning 40 not 4😉. I really do not like surprises though and I especially would not want a party.

My husband "surprised" me with the car he knew I wanted although the surprise was still..."honey we are going to the volvo dealer so you can pick out your new car!!" That was a good surprise!!!

I would find out what HE wants to do.

There are a lot of people in the world, me included, who do not like parties, especially surprises where I am the center of attention.

My hubby knows this and he is the same way. We would never plan a simple dinner to great getaway with friends without first discussing it and understand what the birthday person wants to do.

It is very sweet of you to be so thoughtful but remember that this is his day and he should have a say if he wants a party or how formal/informal he might choose. Don't be insulted if he just wants a special dinner with you..

My 40th was a nice dinner and he later surprised me (just the 2 of us) with a new convertible. Sweet!

Another vote for asking him what he wants. Attending my two older brothers' turning 50 "surprise" parties was enough for me to buy tickets to Mexico for just me and my daughter (age 9) for my 50th. We had a great experience and I avoided the dreaded party.

All three ideas sound great. Maybe drop some conversational hints and see if he bites on any one idea?

I'll be turning 40 in Feb, also. My husband asked me what I want to do, and I chose the get-away. It will be the first mini-vacay we have taken just us since the kids were born. I can hardly wait. So, my answer would be the Napa Valley.
How about taking it a step further- how would be feel about going up in a hot air balloon ride? That sounds awesome!

Ugh. I'm sorry, but the landslide of negative responses. I ssume that you wouldnt consider a party for tbe LOVE OF YOUR LIFE if he isn't the party type. I also assume that his other (extended) family may want to celebrate 40 with him?
Can you employ the guest list to help with the man cave? That could be fun! Ask them to buy manly type decorations, maybe one of them knows how to make a car themed coffee table (just an example). The surprise/reveal could be fun. Everyone would have a good time showing him what they picked and why.
Doesn't asking a person what they want kind of spoil the surprise? Some of us still like to be surprised by our loved ones....

Tough to answer without knowing him or you.

For our "Zero" birthdays (30, 40, 50) we've had some sort of party, usually at home but occasionally in a restaurant with a separate wing or room. We usually just do buffet appetizers that are hearty (pasta, cocktail meatballs, and a variety of side dishes and salads) all of which can be made ahead and kept on the table in sterno-fueled chafing dishes. I'm a big make-ahead person. Then I have one or 2 people on hand to help with the heating and passing of last-minute or hot things. One year, on my stepdaughter's advice, I moved the living room furniture to the perimeter and rented 3 or 4 cocktail height tables (bar height) for the newly-opened space. I put a votive candle on a little mirrored disk (bought at craft or party stores) and a small round tablecloth, and scattered that metallic confetti with the numbers on it (40, 50…). Boom - done. People mingled and chatted as in a bar, and had a place to set down their drinks while they ate from buffet plates.

We displayed photos of the birthday celebrant on poster board or foam board, but if you have a creative side (or a kid!) to do a video scrapbook that can run on endless loop on a laptop, that's fun too. We also asked guests to consider bringing something creative, and the invitations suggested things like a collage, a poem, a song, a limerick or an anecdote. There are always a few guests who can write a song parody, and then they either sang on their own with a few willing participants or they handed out song sheets so everyone could sing along to a familiar tune ("I've been working on the railroad" or "Nothing could be finer", anything people know). Then a few people would read their limericks and others would tell a funny story from childhood or the office, and that was the entertainment. Even those who didn't feel talented enough to compile something could participate in someone else's offering and enjoy.

If this doesn't appeal to you, then absolutely take a trip for just the 2 of you. If he wants a man cave, I'd leave that to him to complete on his own unless you are positive - maybe he's just talking about it but doesn't want to invest the time or money.

Whatever you don't choose for him this time you can use for yourself whenever your birthday comes around!

well, you know the love of your life best. fortunately mine understands that a surprise party would be on the bottom of my list (and he's relieved because he'd hate to try and plan one.)
is your guy a party guy?
mine is an 'experience' guy. a trip or getaway will always be first on his list.
he's got a mancave but he did it all. i wouldn't know what or how to create one to his specifications.
so my vote is napa valley, but that's totally based on what my guy would prefer.
:) khairete
S.

I had a Roast for my husband's 40th. While the "roast", who, what and where parts were a surprise, he knew we were having a birthday party. He had just returned from a deployment so it was a great chance to get people together and make him the focus of the party. I had spoken with about 3-4 invitees ahead of time to ensure they would "say something". But in all about 10 people did. There were about 30 of us. It was hysterical!

One other thing I am so glad I did was invite out of town surprise guests. That was super fun. And I also took him to Nordstrom a few weeks before to have a personal stylist find him an outfit. My husband is so not a clothes guy, but he does like to have something nice for evenings out and he really hadn't had anything new in years. The stylist found some great pieces for him. He looked and felt like a million bucks!

It was such a great evening! The cake was a hoot, I had a simple banner made and added balloons. Oh, and I covered the bar bill that night (I put a cap on it). It was a perfect night!

Only you know your husband.

I try to be extravagant with mine. I would do all 3 things if my husband was the type who wanted a party which he wouldn't want one. LOL

I agree with others to find out what his preference is and then expand on that. My hubby just celebrated a birthday. We went on a vacation to someplace we've never been before without the kids. Then we had cake at the house and I gave him a great gift. On the exact day of his birth we went to the movies, had lunch out and he had the quiet time alone he wanted.

I'm so much more over the top in my own way. LOL

I say find out from him what he really wants and then lay it on thick.

I had a surprise birthday party for hubby. It was wonderful. I had it the weekend after our birthday (we have the same birthday but he is 4 years older than me). It was at Easter time. My parents, brother and his crew came. In-Laws as well. Total in the front yard when he got back from golf, we had about 50 people waiting for him. Yeah, he was surprised!! My Inlaws arrived a couple of days before the party. The look on his face when the door bell rang and he answered it with his parents standing outside was priceless. We lived in Kentucky at the time and they lived in Texas. They said they were driving to Michigan to visit my FIL's sister (hubby's aunt) for Easter. It was a very plausible story since they had done that before. It was great!!!

I had a Viagra cake and all sorts of gag gifts. He was a great sport.

The kids were in on the planning from the beginning. They had a blast having a "secret" from Dad. I had my father in law get baby pictures and he made an invitation out of those. It also explained that it was a surprise party on the invite.

For his 50th, we went to Paris and London. I turned 50 in April and we went to Rome. I did NOT want to be here for that one!!!!

I love Napa! I don't think you could go wrong with any of your ideas!

I'd ask him what he wants - tell him your ideas. I think they are fabulous!!

I only say ask him because my husband always wants things (don't we all!), so I want to know what he wants MOST. So maybe he wants to celebrate with family/friends, maybe he's rather the awesome trip, or maybe a man cave is something he wants sooner.

Good for you for having 3 awesome things - I'm sure he will love any of them!

What would he want? My husband would take a trip to Napa Valley over a party any day!

I have always thrown myself small, low maintenance house parties (cards) for my birthday. I would not want anyone else planning a party for me as I prefer a guest list of 8 and I know which low maintenance friends to invite for the best mix outcome.

ETA: I am the party type, but I am just saying that I would want to do the guest list if someone else gave the party.

My husband isn't a big partier, but he likes spending time with friends so we had about 10-15 friends on a sailboat, then we went to a restaurant. I paid for the boat and asked everyone to bring a bottle of wine. If I asked him what he wanted to do, he would have said, "I don't know, what do you think?" He seemed on board with this plan and it ended up being a magical evening. Good luck!