So my sister lives with me she will be 16 in January. She has went on and on about not wanting a party or anything but this year in school and stuff she has done really good and what 16 year old girl doesn't want a party. So we are thinking of a surprise party. She had mentioned wanting a pool party but with her bday in January that's kind of hard to do bc we live in ohio and its not pool weather unless its inside. So my question is should we rent like a hotel room somewhere that has an indoor pool? How could we get her there without her realizing whats going on? And should we invite boys but not for them to stay??
Ask her to give you a list of events that she would like. Choose one of those events of her liking.
Maybe she would want a night on a hotel with just her parents! Not all 16 year olds are the same.
The hotel idea is very cool. I have heard of this for younger girls (not that it is a young girl idea, but because that is the circle of mom friends I have). The mom rents a room and a few girl stay and sleep over.
Some things to consider:
1. I noticed at the pool parties I have had for 6-8 years old, the older sisters do not want to go because they do not want to get into their swimsuit. These girls are cute and tiny in my opinion, so it is more of a teen thing than an ugly body thing.
2. Maybe she was honest about the party and inviting a handful of friends could be more her style. Swimming and then movie popcorn sleep over in hotel room. The hotel could have rules about hotel guests only, so check with the hotel first.
3. you could say you are taking her to lunch or dinner in the hotel and then really have her friends in the pool section.
Make sure guests are actually going to attend before going to all this trouble.
A friend of mine has a daughter who is a cheerleader, has tons of friends, is well liked, she treats everyone the same, no cliques, nothing like that.
She had a birthday party a few weeks ago and gave everyone an invitation, everyone she saw, came in contact with, everyone. They have some land and were just having a big barn dance kind of thing. No food or stuff like that, just pop and chips and dip. As she went to class and everything she'd ask people "are you coming tonight?". Everyone she asked said yes, they were coming.
The ONLY people who showed at her party were her 2 cousins from out of town, that's 2 guests at a party for at least a hundred kids. No one gave her any sort of explanation the next day. They all said they just couldn't make or some other lame excuse.
Now this girl is devastated. She thought she had an ideal life, that she was well liked and that her philosophy of being friendly to everyone was the right one.
To this day not one person has given her an explanation of why they didn't come.
So if your girl does NOT want a party I'd find out why. Everyone wants to celebrate their day. There might be a valid reason she doesn't want one.
If you do have one then make sure you only invite close friends who really mean something and that you know the parents so you can make sure they're really coming to he party.
If she's said over and over she doesn't want a party I'm not seeing where throwing her a surprise party will go over well.
What girl doesn't want a party?
Plenty!
You want to acknowledge her birthday and make note of how proud you are that she is doing so well.
That's all fine.
But make this a personal gift between you and her.
Take her on a ski/snow tubing weekend trip - just the two of you.
Teens in a hotel room I'm not a big fan of - I don't really care if it's all the rage.
You want this party more than she does but her birthday is not about you.
If she doesn't want a party don't give her one. I didn't want a sweet 16 party either. I just wanted to be with my small group of friends who came to the house and we had snacks, listened to music and danced. Not everyone wants a sweet 16. Maybe she would like to go to dinner and invite a few friends or maybe do what I did in having a few friends over. I wouldn't try to make her have a party surprise or not if she doesn't want one.
I didn't want a party at 16 and I would really not like it if someone through me a surprise party. Honestly, I do not like surprises. Please tell her what you would like to do for her and let her decide.
My daughter is turning 16 in the spring and does not want a party. I am thinking we will rent a limo for a few of her closest friends and they can go to dinner and a show downtown.
My friend was going to surprise her husband with a weekend getaway for his 50th birthday. Because she is my best friend, when she asked me what I thought I told her... He is turning 50 not 5, he does not need and probably does not want a surprise. She ended up telling him and he was so glad it was not a surprise. The getaway is now something he is looking forward to and he can plan for (getting all work stuff done, packing the clothes he wants to wear, saying goodbye to his kids etc).
I can give you a list of girls who would NOT want a party, starting with ME, my oldest daughter, my best friend, etc. Not everyone is a party person and even fewer are happy with a surprise party (I, for one, would be absolutely horrified if I was the center of attention at a surprise party).
I'd ask her again about having a party and give her some suggestions, such as the hotel/pool thing. She might go for it, but if she doesn't, I'd say respect her choice and leave it at that.
You know your sister best. Is she the type who would enjoy a surprise party or are you doing this to satisfy something in yourself ("I threw her a great party, so I've done my sisterly duty.") regardless of how she might feel.
Either way, you can still make her sixteenth bday special with just family and maybe a very special, personal gift.
I agree to not make it a surprise party. I like the idea of either telling her what you want to do and including her in making plans or giving her some options and deciding together.
I wonder if she's saying no because you're billing it as a sweet sixteen party. Sweet sixteen is an outdated concept that is probably embarrassing to her. Girls do like a party. I suggest if approached from the idea of what would she like to do she'd be more interested.
Of course include boys. They are probably an important part of her social life. Ask her. If chaperoned and the space is open they could spend the night. Not at a hotel buy at a sleepover held in a large room with kids in sleeping bags, a night light and adults in and out. I've heard of it being done. Of course the adults don't get sleep. I would only attempt it if I knew the mids well and trusted them.
I would prefer to not have a sleep over with boys. The hotel idea sounds fun but not as a surprise. Half the fun for the girls would be preparing for it. Perhaps taking makeup and specific clothes to eat out. Or pizza and favorite movies to watch after swimming. Give her the fun of planning the party.
If your sister has insisted No Party then don't disrespect her and ruin her day with a surprise party. That is a really poor, and ultimately selfish, plan.
For a gift to her, LISTEN. Ask her - Sis, you said you don't want a party. I want to do something special for you. What would make you happy?
Listen to her answer, talk about what she says, and do what she wants you do to if it is possible.
Surprise birthday partie are great no matter what age. The hotel concept is nice. Tell her you are going a a close friend of the families swimming party. Invite boys but limit the stay allowing for as previously mentioned facials make up nails, let her enjoy she will never forget it!
Is there a county rec center that has an indoor pool that you could rent? You could tell her that you want to go swimming. Although with girls, you never know who wouldn't be able to go swimming that night, or week ...
What about just getting a bunch of her friends together for a movie or pizza party?
Take her a 3 friends shopping at the mall for a mini shopping spree.
At 16 I did not want a party and I would have been mortified if someone had planned a surprise party for me. I was extremely shy and hated being the center of attention. Honestly, I don't even remember what I did for my 16th birthday. Ask her how she wants to celebrate her birthday. Give her a couple of options and ask what she would like to do and who she wants to do it with. Honor her ideas. The day is about her, not what anyone else thinks she would like.
Set a budget, let her pick a couple of close friends, and let them loose at the mall! Let them shop within your budget and then a nice lunch or dinner out. Sounds like a perfect Sweet 16 birthday.
