How Would You Handle.....(long)

WOW! I don't really have an answer for you but I would be really upset if a teacher said that to one of my kids. Especially since he seems like he is trying really hard. If he had all Cs and Ds and brought them up to straight Bs, it seems like the teacher should have congratulated him on it instead of putting him down. As far as the essays go, that seems like an awful lot for a 3rd grader. My son is in 2nd and he would have no clue what to do or what to write and he does really good in school all on his own.

Good luck and yes, I would definately put a call in to the principals office or send an email to the teacher and carbon the principal on it so he/she is aware of what the teacher said.

You have gotten some good advice. It's time to play hardball.
Start documenting everything from the last 3 years.
Get him evaluated for LD. Talk to the pediatrician. The hospitals have a battery of testing they can do, it may be at a psychologists office but it will rule out ADHD, OCD. It will pinpoint what he is having trouble with.
Do not ask anymore. Demand.

You are the best advocate he has.

Ok. I'm a teacher, and I understand why you are upset. At this point, though, you need to focus on what you can do to get your son on an IEP (individualized education program). If there is a learning disability there, which it sounds like there is, the teacher might not know. If she has an inclination that there might be a difficulty, she might not know what kind of accommodations are appropriate. In short, there's a lot going on here.

It sounds to me like he may have a form of dyslexia: the inverting of letters, inserting words that aren't there, general problems reading and writing. Those are all common to dyslexic students. You need to get him tested. If he's diagnosed with dyslexia, the school district will be required by law to write an IEP for him. Teachers will also be required to provide the IEP accommodations.

And keep in mind: students with dyslexia - or any other learning difficulty - are successful every day. But it starts with diagnosis. Once you have a formal diagnosis that explains what is going on, the teacher will be able to work out a plan. Until then, it's a guessing game for everyone.

Go get him tested.

Your son has been consistently behind and getting poor grades in nearly all subjects since first grade? I'm sorry, I know your main issues in your question are related to the teacher and the principal and work he's behind on at the moment but I'm more alarmed that you haven't mentioned anything about the fact that the teacher might be right about "should possibly be holding him back a grade." I'm also concerned that if maturity isn't the issue he could have a serious learning disability or learning delay causing these problems in school. The problem might not be his teachers. I say that because year after year, the common denominator is not the teachers but your son.

Please consider having him evaluated for a learning disorder. It might help ease a lot of frustration for him, you, and his teachers because it would put him in a much better position of getting appropriate help and an appropriate education.

From reading this post I am left wondering if your son has un-diagnosed learning disabilities in perhaps reading or word processing issues. It is not a huge deal but if he was "officially" diagnosed they would never have the option of letting him do title 1 or not. It would be required of them to provide that to him, through out his school years.

I would take him to an eye doc that does evaluations for this type of disability. My friend did that with her son and she did exercises with him every night with some glasses that looked like the ones Nicholas Cage wore in National Treasure. She also had a colored sheet of translucent plastic he read through.

Then an educational psychologist could evaluate him for learning disabilities and find out if he has a diagnosis.

Now is the time for the stinker mom to come out. You need to set up a meeting with the Principle and the teacher ASAP. Request that he be tested immediately. This really sounds like dyslexia.

I would also explain to my child that sometimes teachers are so overwhelemed that they don't always thinks about what they are saying. That wasn't fair to your son. It sounds like he does try and to be told over and over that you should have been left behind or are lazy will make him not like school and you definitely don't want that. I'm so sorry about this with your kiddo! GRRRR!!!!!

Dyslexia runs in families, it sounds as though your hubby is dyslexic and so is your son. Dyslexia has nothing to do with intellengence but in how the brain processes information. Albert Einstein and Leonardo Di Vinci were both dyslexic. In modern times Whoppie Goldberg, Jay Leno, Henry Winkler (has a Master's Degree from Yale), Tom Cruise (can't read at all and has to have his scripts recorded and he listens to them until he has them memorized).
I would first contact the principal and his teacher and set up a meeting to see what can be done to help your son. If you get no where, contact the closest university that has a good program for teaching. Contact the head of the department and if possible set up a meeting with that person. The department head should know of resources for you and your son.
My daughter had the same teacher for 1st and 2nd grade. I did not know that this teacher did not believe in dyslexia and always called my daughter lazy and stupid in front of the other kids. I knew she was having a lot of trouble learning to read and that she was not stupid. I ended up taking her to a specialist at the University of Wisconsin-Oshkosh while I was a student there and having her tested. The man in charge of the program at that time was considerd the foremost authority on dyslexia in Wisconsin at that time. Since I was a student, he tested my daughter for free. The test result came back that she was very dyslexic and needed to be in special classes. The school was highly insulted and became angry that I got my daughter tested off campus BUT since I had the diagnosis they HAD to follow the protocal for a dyslexic student.
You know your child better than anyone. Sometimes as a Mom you have to fight for your child and sometimes you need to YELL. So many times I was treated like a dummy, but I held my ground and my kids got the education they needed. To make things even stranger my #4 and youngest child is also dyslexic in the same way I am dyslexic. Mine and his are more in spelling, math and direction (confusing left and right), my daughter in reading.
Start making phone calls become the squeeky wheel that gets the grease. Become the awful thorn in their side that gets their attention.

I think you should write a formal letter, not e-mail, not phone call, and copy it to the teacher and to the superintendent of the school district. You should let them know everything you put in your post here and request that a copy of the letter be maintained in the teacher's personnel file. Further, let them know that if any further comments are made by the teacher to your son or if he is humiliated in front of the class again (failing grades read out loud), then you will seek legal advice.

That should get someone's attention!

Tell your son that the mama's on mamapedia are very proud of him for bringing his grades up so much, we have all the confidence in the world in him and we are all on his side!

My step dtr is moderately retarded, my 12 yo ADD and 9 yo ADHD. I'm telling you this because I've had a *little* experience dealing with the schools. You are done being nice. Well, you still need to be nice, but now you need to be firm. Ask the principal to meet with you and the teacher. Get to the bottom of the issues and don't feel like you can't be honest with whats been going on. My son is in 3rd grade and has a prob with reading comprehension. He also still is having problems with his math facts. After a million meetings and emails back and forth with the principal, teacher and resource teacher, I straight out TOLD them that we would NOT do any homework except math facts, writing spelling words and reading. That was IT. If they were not going to take time during school to help him, then I was going to do it after school, but there was NO way I could do that AND all the packets of homework she sent home every day. So that was it. He's gotten much better with them and the principal said she understood and that was out perogative to do so. The teacher believes all his issues are "behaviors" and although he's on 2 meds, she has her way of running her class and thats it. So we are dealing with it and he's getting straight B's now. So don't be afraid to stand up for your kid. Also, your doc can diagnose, you don't have to wait for the school to do anything. Good luck!!!

I think your first sentence holds the key.
What kind of teacher would say that to a 3rd grader?! (I have a 3rd grader and if he was told that by his teacher, I would be livid!)
Skip the teacher and make sure you let the principal know the way this specific teacher is operating in her classroom.
It's half year, get him MOVED into another class and make sure to talk to the new teacher about what you son IS and is not allowed to do as far as extra time, help, etc. (I'm sorry, I don't understand the ins & outs of Title I)
Good luck! Don't allow your son to be bullied in this way by a teacher!

Request an educational evaluation, in writing, immediately. Google wright's law, it's a great reference and it will tell you what to put in the letter and who to address and deliver it to. Deliver it on Monday and they will have 10 days to respond to you in writing and schedule the testing. There will be some more paperwork back and forth but within a finite period (the website will tell you how long...it might be as long as 60 days) they will give him a series of evaluations and after that, they will schedule a meeting to go over the results. If he qualifies for an IEP (Individual Education Plan) then they will write up a plan for you to review and approve.

Your son sounds like he has mild learning disability and should qualify for extra help and accommodations that, if he does have an LD, the school is required by law to give him. This doesn't mean that he'll have an LD forever or will qualify for an IEP forever, but for now, he shouldn't need as much help as he does to stay on track and at grade level. The amount of work that you and he are doing indicates some sort of LD and it's the school's job to work with him on that, not fight him, belittle him and deny him services. Under an IEP, they cannot take away services on the whim of a teacher where Title I is by referral and only if the school qualifies for the funding each year.

FWIW, I think a 5 paragraph essay in 3rd grade is a ridiculous expectation and my oldest son simply wouldn't have done the assignment. And any teacher who allows the word "lazy" to be in her vocabulary should find another career.

I'm so sorry for all the struggles you and your child are experiencing.

Please write a letter and ask for a "full and complete" evaluation of ALL areas of your child's learning. This letter is to be written to the principal or the district administrator for special education. This is the key to starting the school system evaluation. If anyone tries to stall this effort or offer partial testing, go to the superintendent. . All other discussions are secondary to starting this process ASAP. Then have a discussion with the principal and teacher together about your son's perceptions of his learning and situation. Go with a notebook with all your son's educational needs in writing (help with classwork, modified assignments, respect for his efforts).My very best to you.

Lots of good answers on the disability, but it isn't okay for your child to be verbally abused by their teacher. I'm not really sure what your course of action should be on this, but he really needs to be in a supportive, encouraging environment. Even if he doesn't have a document-able disability, there is not reason for this kind of treatment, it's very unprofessional. Speak to the teacher, let her know that you find it unacceptable for her to single him out. Find out how your son feels about this teacher; if there is no trust, if he does not feel cared about, you need to get the teacher to work on changing the way she interacts and rebuild trust or get him a new teacher.
Good luck. I know this is hard. We had a bad teacher in second grade and I wish I had done more to protect my child. We teach them how important they are when we stand up for them.

Okay first of all find out EXACTLY what the teacher said to him. I'm not saying your son is lying but kids tend to remember/repeat things very differently than what actually may have been said. And if he has the issues you are describing I wouldn't be surprised if he misunderstood or just *thinks* that's what she said. Please talk to the teacher first, set up a conference and go from there. And of course the teacher hasn't called you back yet because she is working, it may take her a day or two to return your call. What did the principal have to say?

You need to have a sit down meeting with the principal. Bring up what you know your son's rights to be in regards to these tests. Tell her that the teacher isn't allowing it. Also tell her how you feel about all of this. You have put up with enough since having a teacher who would call him names and his failing grades in front of other kids - that is certainly setting him up to not even want to try!

I would also tell the principal that you don't appreciate this teacher telling him that he should have been left back in 3rd grade. That isn't something you tell a child - it's poor judgement.

If none of this helps, you may need to find an advocate who is experienced with this to go into these meetings with you. I hope that your principal will straighten this out. Your child needs someone at this school to help him feel good about himself instead of making him feel as if he can't.

Good luck,
Dawn

Did you ever have your child tested for dyslexia? My son was basiclly bullied by his teacher because he struggled with reading. She said he was lazy and he wasn't disciplined enough at home. She knocked his self esteem right out of him. I pulled him out of the school because no one would help find out what the problem was. I put him in a small private school and I thank God every day. His teacher had him tested within the week and he was diagnosed with dyslexia. It is not a learning disability, it is learning differently. Any good teacher should recognize the signs. My son has a photographic memory by learning orally. He is also entitled to a lot of help under the American Disability Act in both private and public school. E very child has the right to enjoy learning. Don't let this teacher get you down. You need to be your child's advocate. She is working for you. I once had a great professor whose philosophy was " if the student didn't learn, then the teacher didn't teach.".

Time to put your mama tiger pants on and get moving mama! Demand, and you should ask nicely but do not take no for an answer, that he be tested for learnig disabilities. They must test, by law, if you demand. but they HATE paying for them so they will often try to dissuade you. Once he gets tested you'll have a better idea of what is causing his issues. He sounds dyslexic.

If he turns out to be dyslexic then you'll have a new job description: Advocate. Good luck!

Ditto regarding requesting testing for special education services. I would write the request and submit it to the school, with a copy submitted to the district superintendent. Make sure you put in the letter some of the information you put in your post - particularly the impact all of this is having on your son in terms of his self esteem and attitude toward school and learning. If he qualifies for services based on a learning disability, he will have protections he does not now have. How demoralizing for you and your son that he is working so hard and being met with such unprofessional behavior! He should be with teachers who understand his difficulty and help him accordingly - not teachers who turn it into a "motivation" problem! Best of luck to you!

I am a teacher. Even though the teacher may feel that way she should not have verbalized it to your son nor in front of your son. Perhaps she's frustrated or doesn't think your son is working hard enough, whatever the case saying that to your son isnt going to help him. It's likely he we feel like she expects him to fail and he will live up to that expectation.
Now if she said that to you in a meeting without your son being present; it may sting but at least you would know how he is progressing. At this point there is nothing she could say to your child to undo the damage she has done. Her words indicate she had given up on your child and I would insist on another teacher immediately.
As a teacher I don't like to coddle the children built there are too many teachers out there insulting students and doing permanent damage. Even though title 1 is a wonderful program the best thing to help your child is for you to learn the reading strategies and read with him every day. Good luck!

First off let me say I am sorry that your son had to be singled out and talked to that way!

With that being said, since your son is already in the 4th grade and you KNOW that he is struggling so bad w/reading I think that you should get on getting this straightened out, like ASAP! Sounds to me like it is time for a full evaluation on where he is, time to request some serious testing...and if I were you an outside tutor would be contacted and contracted to work with him, like YESTERDAY!

You do not want him to fall any further behind. Mom, this should be your new mission.

~I am sorry you do not have a good teacher but I think the teacher is not the *true* problem here and probably won't fix this situation...your son needs *extra* help...I think from a professional tutor.

Does your son have dyslexia? Its where he reading things backwards, doesn't understand things fully when read. My mother and one of my older brothers have it. Sometimes my mom will call me for the spelling of a word or to read something to me to get my take on it. There are people who can teach him ways to understanding reading and writing. I would get him help now, before it gets any worse.