How Would You Handle This Teen Clothing Issue?

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Your daughter is old enough to deal with this herself and it sounds like she tried. We don't always get the results we want, unfortunately. There is nothing else to be done, especially by a parent. If I were your daughter, I'd ask that Mandy not come into my room anymore. Nothing else that can really be done.

Don't interfere. Tell your daughter to talk to her cousin. Wash the hoodie in hot hot and put it in the dryer for a long time. Tell your daughter that the only way to prevent this is to not allow the cousin into her room, but other than that, there is no way. Does she really want someone in her room who is going to sneak things out anyways? Tell her also this is the possible repercussion of someone borrowing something (staining it, stretching it, losing it).

Your daughter needs to talk to her cousin. At this age she shouldn't be running to you to fix her problems, especially small problems like this.

It sounds like the feelings of your daughter are being invalidated. By her dad, by her cousins, by her uncle. No it isn't something that should be made into a huge deal, but she's being taken advantage of and no one's standing up for her.
First order of business is to tell her to stop lending her hoodies out. Or at best, with the explicit request that if it gets loaned out without her knowledge or permission and stretched out, her cousin will replace it. If that causes a rift, boo hoo, too bad. Sounds like the cousins haven't learned the art of treating other people and their belongings with care and that "what's yours is mine" attitudes.
I would present the issue to pops, too. Like "Is there a reason for not standing up for her?" Concede that "no this is not the monumental issue to us, but it is to her, and her feelings should be considered", and then see what pops says. If he's incapable of changing and being supportive to his own daughter, then that will say a lot to a lot of people. But if he doesn't budge, then the clothes sharing has to stop. Those are your daughter's alternatives. Or if she wants to continue the swapping, make it a rental. There's a rental fee. I can't suggest anything for a sneaky person who has no regard for others' property and sneaks in to borrow without permission. She's the one with problems. That can escalate into stealing real easily.

I would stand up for your daughter and talk to the uncle yourself. However it might not get you anywhere, but at least try. If he is unwilling to deal with his daughter's sneeky stealing behavior, you'll probably have to put a stop to the clothes sharing in general, just explain to your daughter that either she needs to deal with the other cousin borrowing without asking, or no longer share anymore, and see which thing she'd rather live with.

Best wishes, this is tricky, but its good to address things before its a HUGE deal.

Tell your daughter to tell mandy that if she gets anywhere near her stuff while visiting that she will be checking her pockets to see if she has "borrowed" anything, and if she has it wil be taken back. Also advise her to remind addy that whatever mandy borrows of hers from her, which get stretched out, will no longer fit either of them, so it would be wise of her to keep Mandy from this habit at their home in the same manner otherwise she sees no reason, regretfully, to go on sharing with addy.

If your daughter is really concerned she should be able to handle this on her own.

If Mandy's mom is around, talk to her about it... She will probably be more understanding of the situation.

Or tell Mandy's dad that you want Mandy to pay for another hoodie (The exact same hoodie if possible or one that has the same price as the ruined hoodie) for your daughter. If Mandy has to start paying for stuff every time she ruins it, she'll learn not to ruin it. And if her dad has to start paying for it because Mandy doesn't have any money... Then he'll see that it isn't something he can just shrug off.

Also, McMama's suggestion of how to shrink the hoodie will probably work.

Good luck :)

At the risk of sounding old fashioned, I would give out the rule of no lending out clothes. I have 3 daughters and when they were teenagers, I told them they were not to lend to eachother or anyone else. It ALWAYS causes some sort of problem...the item gets ruined, lost, stained, whatever. After putting this "rule" into place, it was no longer MY problem. If they did lend an item out and something happened...oh well! Mom did no replacing of lost or otherwise ruined articles of clothing. If enough of their precious, expensive wardrobe gets lost or ruined and you do not replace it or get involved in fixing the problem, they will stop lending things out. They own the problem. Natural and logical consequences work very well!

Speak with your ex husband. Mandy needs to know that everything is not hers and she needs to respect other peoples clothes/property. Sounds like Mandy is spoiled and your ex and Mandy's dad are encouraging it.

If she is taking your daughter's clothes could she be taking other things that don't belong to her? There is an issue here and it needs to be resolved. Sooner than later too.