Ok. We where not trying for another. I was scedule to go and get the para gauard put in and this moring i think that the test results just read postive. And not even like a week or two i had my year check done, and there was no signs of preog. I am afraid on the way that my husband might react. We would want more childern later. When things have settaled down. I just finished school and my bussniess is picking up and he is trying to get into school. And we are tying to get grants to pay for his. I am going to call the doctor to get a blood test. But do i alarm him or keep quiet to later? And what is later? I am so scared. The last thing that i wanted was this. Don't get me wrong the baby will be a blessing. And my last one.
Well my husband went threw the with draw and was blaming me for this happening. But it has happened and he has come around. Know the new fear that it might be twins and he is afraid of that. We are taking it one day at a time and the family seems really happy. Thank you ladies for the support that you have given me. At times i am still going threw the motions of having another one on the way. But it will work out in the end. My husband and i agreed with the doc help behind this, That i will be getting my tubes tied, since they are telling me that i have to have another c-section. Which will be my third. We think that it is a boy which is making things more easy to take for him.
I would say to get the blood test and let him know after that. You don't want to tell him too soon and work him up if it's nothing.
I had a positive test after I had my 1st son and freaked out. But the blood tests were negative. They said it happens sometimes after giving birth and sometimes if you are BF.
Best of luck!
~me
You need to be up front with him, don't keep it from him, that will only damage the trust you both have built together. Talk about it and what are the options. There are a lot of women out there who cannot have children. I mayself carried a baby for my aunt and uncle because I already had a daughter and was not ready to take care of another. My uncle never had children and my aunt was only able to have one (this is his second marriage and her third). I gave them the wonderful gift of a beautiful son who they take dear care of. Things will work out...there are a lot of options out there.
It seems these things always happen when you're not trying. Personally, I would tell him that you think you might be pregnant and are going to have a blood test done to make sure. You may be thinking right now that you don't want another baby, but by the time you get the results of the blood test your feelings may have changed. And if they have and it turns out you're not pregnant, you're going to want his support and he can't support you if he doesn't know what's going on.
Hey, if he's the perfect man, he will probably be feeling all the same emotions you are feeling right now. I would let him know while you are still crashing through all the emotions. Waiting until you are done dealing with them all means you will look calm and controlled and he'll be crashing through all the realities you are now dealing with.
why not deal with them together ?
My kids (from a prior marriage) were 10 and 12, when we got a surprise baby. The surprise baby was followed up with a second surprise 20 months later. It's a challenge, and all my friends are empty nesters, which we would be, too, if not for the 12 and 14 yr old, but it's WONDERFUL!!!
I admit, after the youngest was born, my husband had a vasectomy . . . but I was 41 at that point, and we knew our home was "full". I used to joke around and tell everyone that I made my own grandchildren - but you know what ? I wouldn't trade it for the world !
Sometimes life hands us challenges we weren't planning on having, but love grows and somehow we get through !
Hi L.,
I to had a scare like that a month ago we already have 3
and my tubes have been tied but I kept it to myself until I found out that the home test was wrong I was not expecting. I would get the test done and after that sit down and talk to your husband if he loves you he will help you threw what ever the test results comes back.Good luck hope it comes back the way you want it to.
Ailene
"The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps." Proverbs 16:9
Confirm the pregnancy with a blood test.
If it is positive, you could say, "Thought we were done, but the Lord had other plans." :)
Set the tone - if he sees that you are alright with it, chances are, he will be too. Look forward to the baby - what will he or she look like? Will they have your lips? ears? nose? eyes? Who in your family has encouraged you - perhaps the baby could receive their namesake? Think of the baby's soft, kissable baby-skin. How good it will feel to your touch! See this as a positive, wonderful, surprise blessing.
Surround yourself with people who will encourage you and help you with your other children - it is very likely you will still be able to balance jobs/school with a little support.
Quick response - it took two to arrive in the situation.
Maybe wait until you know for sure... but you should be able to talk about it (for better or worse); he is your partner and mate.
LOL, how this brings back memories.....I have really no idea how you should tell your husband especially if he is anything like mine. Let me share a story....
We have daughter and son and a set of twins.
When my son was three, and my daughter was six, I learned that I was pregnant.(mind you I was so not prepared for any more, I was just getting into teaching and my husband just got a promotion to running a store, so things were still on shaky ground along with a new first house).Now My husband does not take news well suddenly and immediately goes into the frantic worry state of mind.I on the other hand am the complete opposite and like a crock pot-simmer. I was utterly shocked when I found out when I was pregnant to begin with and I presented him with the home test pregnancy result in a small bracelet box, wrapped in a bow, placed beside his bedside near the alarm clock. Of course, I got the...Are you kidding me, what are we going to do....you name it. It's alright, we can share rooms, we have enough..yada yada yada. WELL unlike my first two pregnancies, this one took a HUGE toll on me. I was sick, nauseous, couldn't eat and losing weight. So back to the docs. straight away. It was then I learned that I was pregnant with twins. YIKES! was all on my mind. I was barely getting my foot on the ground with work as was my husband, how do I break the news Now??? Two months later we had a Christmas party at my home. My husband who never drinks, drank and was having such a jovial time that he ended up slightly drunk. When we were alone, I joked and told him about the twins. He laughed and said it was alright and it was good!(knowingly he wouldn't remember in the morning- I was still screwed!)But it got me over the fact that I had to tell him. Later in the next month in casual conversation about the baby---I kept mentioning "they", until he got the gist of there was more than one. Again at that time he was more than unsupportive since it was a shock, but over time within months, he was and still is the loving father that he is to all.(I went and got my tubes tied to prevent this again!-Our house is plenty full-+ the dog,it's seventh heaven!)
So I guess all in all it's in the timing and I would wait until you know for sure.There's really no need to get excited over something unless you know.
Best of luck.
Mom of 4.
Wait until you know for sure. Then if it is confirmed, than you need to tell him.
Hi L.,
I would recommend telling your husband sooner rather than later. He is your partner and friend and he should be in on it with you from the start. He might feel that you don't trust him if you don't let him in. And if does turn out to be a false alarm - you might feel a little sad - and he should be given the chance the comfort you. If he doesn't know - he won't be able to. I'm sure his reaction will be different than you are anticipating.
J.
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g.
I would think that you should just tell him. He helped make the little one, so you shouldn't feel the need to hide it.
If, you really think you need to hide it and are afraid of him, please re-examine your relationship and make sure you are not in danger.
If you think your husband's reaction will be a negative one, I'd wait until I knew for a fact that I was pregnant. Then, tell him as soon as you know. He's a big boy and will have to deal with it, lol. Things happen for a reason so consider it a blessing, either way.
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
Hey Larissa,
If he's your "perfect man" then he should react to the news with love and pleasant surprise. You know best though. Where is this coming from?
J.
Hi L.-
I'm sure he will be just as shocked as you are but he may get more upset that you tried to deal with the shock on your own instead of sharing it with him right away. It might be easier for you to have him with you. I think your in it together...you should go through it together.
Good Luck!
you are in this together! it's not like you got yourself preggo! i'm sure he will be in shock as you were, but that will wear off and then the excitement will kick in for the new little bundle of joy! if it would make you feel better, get a blood test asap to find out for SURE.. but do it like now! good luck!
Hi Larissa,You are being blessed with God's humor because there is someone out there far greater than us and he is in control of our lives. I know because we were blessed with #4 which in the same case there was no plans on our part of ever having. I found out when my third baby was 2 1/2 months old. I cried, and didn't know how I was going to tell my husband, but honestly he took it so well, in fact much better than I did and told me that this is God's plan. Our 4th is our biggest blessing and he has made our family complete and is best friends with our third child a girl. It is hard to see the long term now, but know that things always work out when God is in charge of the plans and not us! I wish you all the best and the understanding husband like I had. God Bless.~D. M~
I was in a similar situation a little over 3 years ago. My husband and I were on the fence about trying for a 3rd, I was on BC, and at the end of January I didn't get my monthly curse. I took a test and actually cried in desperation because I thought my husband would freak out (part of our indecision was the $ factor). I was going to wait, but couldn't, so when he came home from work I told and started crying again. He shocked the living you-know-what out of me by whooping and screaming "yes" and hugged me. Our "accident" is now 2 1/2 years old, driving us crazy, and every day we thank God for knocking us off of the fence. Tell him, you may be surprised like I was.
On a slightly different subject, after this, I would recommend the Essure procedure if you're interested in permanent birth control. I had it done at Magee. If you would like more info, send me a message. Above all, good luck with this and God bless you and your expanding family.
Well, first I would wait to say anything until you know for sure! But if the results are positive I'd tell him the day you find out. Look at it this it is going to be asurprise to you as much as it will be to him, so its not like you went and got pregnant on your own! But choose what you need to do for your family that you have now and make plans! Obviously there is no turning back so, you can't dwell on it! I would just show your husband that you are as surprised about it as him and unexpected and stressed, so that you feel you're in the small boat! Good luck, if its meant to be its meant to be! J.
You just have to tell him. It took both of you to make the baby, so why should you shoulder all the guilt? I too have an unplanned baby. I was pretty upset at the time ( very inconvient timing) but now I can't imagine life without her! (she's 22 months old now) We also have a 4 and 5 years old. So we had decided we were done, the a month later SURPRISE! And I felt so guilty because it's my body after all... but we were in it together! As are you and your hubby. So you have to tell him! And don't worry! Everything will work out!
L.,
You obviously have a husband you love very much. I don't think there is ever a "right" time to have a baby--there's always a situation, circumstance, etc. BUT I don't think you should keep this to yourself. Two to tango. A baby is always a good thing and a blessing from God, I agree. Tell him! He'll most likely be thrilled. Good luck.
Have the blood test first. If you are pregnant consider how you would feel emotionally either way. I have four sons. The last two were twins. Believe me when I tell you I considered not having them. It was difficult for me to deal with their dad. You are lucky enough to have someone who loves you enough to listen.
Ask yourself:
Can I live with aborting it?
What kind of toll will it take on me emotionally?
Am I going to tell my husband?
Can I handle another baby right now?
It's a lot. I'm not going to tell you what to do, but rather consider your options. It can be hard, and if you really thing you can't do it...don't.
You've got my support no matter what.
Again, get the test first. You may not be pregnant, just stressed out. Do what you can live with.
If you are that scared then I think you need to tell him so that you can lean on him for support until you find out whether the baby is a reality.
Been there!
Wait till you know for sure. Then you have to tell him as soon as you can. Everything happens for a reason, its hard to see now, but its all in the big plan. Good luck!
