K.C.
Congratulations! We went through something similar.. I had a 14yr old stepson. He is now 15.5yrs old. My husband has primary custody so they are very close and he spends majority of time at our house. He told us from day one that he never wanted any brothers/sisters. We did tell him first, after dinner one night at home. We just told him that he was going to be a big brother and that we were very excited about it. He reacted like we thought he would - ran to his room and through a fit/cried/wouldn't let his dad in. We let him have some space to sort through his feelings. When he was ready to talk later that night/my husband explained to him that we are very excited to have a baby - and that it was going to happen no matter what. (he obviously didn't have a choice about it even though he thought he did) But by no means was he going to love him any less/spend less time with him/he would always be his first child and will always be loved by us, etc. They spent some extra quality time together (playing baseball in the backyard/video games/going to a movie) over the next few months. He started to be ok with the idea. He even cleaned out his closet and gave the baby his entire collection of Dr. Seuss books from when he was a baby. Once the baby arrived - he wasn't quite to sure at first... but once he figured out that his life didn't really change at all, he was fine. (He still did stuff with his friends/didn't have to change diapers which for some reason was his biggest fear). Once the baby turned 3 months and really started to interact - they bonded. And they are closer every day. He is 14 months now, and the two of them are so close - they love each other!! It is neat to see. We laugh now when my stepson walks in the door after school or being gone and the first thing he does is run over to my toddler and scoop him up and play with him. So - the point of my long story is that even if she is not happy about it now... find out what the reason is and put that to rest. (for example my stepson thought for whatever reason we would make him change diapers. not sure where he got that - because the only chore he has at home is doing dishes once a week) But once we told him that he would never have to change a diaper - he was ok with it. Her head is filled of crying/dirty diapers/a little pest/time away from you both/etc..... not the joy of a baby that you see. I guarantee she'll come around. If not before the baby is here - definitely afterwards. It'll shock probably even her how much she will end up loving the new baby! Good luck!