Hi everyone,
This is sort of embarassing! I have been a SAHM for 8 years. I adore my kids and my husband works long hours. I find myself becoming a chatty kathy! I keep telling myself not to talk so much but I walk away from situations thinking why did I open my mouth so much, I should listen better. I am struggling with this, I surely don't want to be annoying to other people. Any suggestions?!
Nickie
I would guess that you are not getting enough interaction with other adults. I get that way if I don't get enough time. Find ways to get out with other people more often and you'll see it even out.
As with any habit, change starts with noticing. Any time you notice that you've flipped into this mode, congratulate yourself, take a deep breath, and do something else. When I catch myself lapsing into nervous chatter, what works for me is to envision a calm and dignified person, and imitate her! It gradually becomes easier and quicker.
I think this happens because you are around children all day and don't get to have adult interaction much. If you could find a way to get out by yourself for a short time each week this would probably subside.
There are times I find myself talking when no one else is just to break the silence.
Thanks for bringing this up. I do try to sit on the sidelines and let the others chat more than me.
The other S.
WOW! Kudos for noticing! I'm sure you're not as bad as some people. I always make a point not to talk too much unless I'm asked about something, and I always put the conversation back to others with questions, etc, but I'm always AMAZED when people just talk and talk and talk and talk when I haven't said a word in a while. Where we live, it's not uncommon! I picked up my kids from the gym daycare the other night, and asked the girl how her baby was doing, and she told me every detail of elaborate testing for allergies etc, for a good 10 minutes, and even when I had put on everyone's shoes (this was AFTER just listening for quite a while), had them clean up and was obviously herding them out the door, she just kept going... I was interested to hear about the allergies and stuff, but you know when the line gets crossed into sort of just talking and talking and talking when the other person isn't talking. Most people who do this never notice they're doing it, so again, I doubt you're that bad. Just make it a point to ask a question as soon as you have said something about yourself. As long as the conversation is two sided, it can be long, and when it ebbs, and you have really listened to the person and haven't cut them off, gracefully give a nice parting sentiment and move away. Good for you for being considerate!
Ha - I am right there with ya! I love talking. And so do my kids!!! So far all their teachers (school or other activities) have said how much my kids love to talk!
If the other person isn't annoyed then don't worry about it. Some people are listeners and would rather hear someone else talking.
I am so glad I am not the only one who struggles with this. As previous mamas mentioned, I think for me, the problem is not being around adults often enough. I try to make sure I get some social outlet. I also try to think of questions to ask the other person if I know I am going to be with someone. For instance, I am going walking with my cousins on Friday. Fortunately, they are both big talkers too so I won't be dominating the conversation, but I still try to think of questions to ask them so I know for sure I won't totally be talking the entire time.
make a point of asking question about the other person instead of talking about yourself. Even if you are not really interested. That way, if interaction is what you need you can fulfill it with out being too much. Make a point of not dominating conversations. If you find you've gone on a run of the mouth stop immediately and ask the person something about themselves.
And I thought I was the only one with this "problem." Thanks for posting, you made my day. :)
I do this too but im not a SAHM...I talk to everyone, I find every person interesting in their own way. I occasionally get into trouble when I run late for work or if co workers stop by my desk and I chat too long and the boss catches me. I tell my boss it is PR work and next time he says "Hey use your magicical soruces to find out this or that" this is how I get my sources LOL.
Are you chatty kathy to just your husband or everyone? Call your hubby during his lunch and see how he is doing, and maybe find a mommy group to give you the social oulet you need.
