My son is one of the friendliest kids I've ever seen, so much so that he's willing to walk right up to any Tom, Dick or Harry and tell them his full name and address, and will follow them around. He also LOVES asking people if he can get in their cars--completely obsessed with the driver's seat, so any ill-intending stranger could very easily cue into this. I do my best to make sure that he's never out of my line of sight, but occasionally I do loose view of him for a few seconds. Obviously this could place him in danger of being kidnapped, so I know I need to start teaching him about strangers. I also know that the threat of being kidnapped is much less in reality than in perception, so I'm not sure of how to approach it without making him unnecessarily fearful of everyone. What have you found to be helpful, and what should I NOT do?
rent or buy the "Safe side super chick stranger danger DVD.
It's very good and done by John Walsh.
http://www.thesafeside.com/
I found a good starting point to talk to my kids was the Berenstein Bears book called Strangers. It has the twins going to the park together and the friendly one encounters a man with a remote controlled plane (and he is fascinated with them) and he wants to go off with him. Also, the more shy twin is completely freaked out and scared of EVERYONE in the park because they're "strangers" (even the butterflies, lol). The mama bear deals with both extremes.
It doesn't do everything, but is an excellent way to introduce the subject in a non-scary way and open a dialogue with your son.
I second the "Safe Side" DVD produced by John Walsh. It's entertaining and not scary for kids. It does a great job of differentiating between different types of strangers and provides great examples of what to do. All done at a level kids can understand and relate to.
Thank you for asking this question. I have a daughter who is very chatty with strangers, especially adults. I am also looking for a constuctive way to teach her to stay safe while not living in fear. I am going to check out the "Protecting the Gift" book. I am also looking for a way to teach her that she needs to trust her gut and protect herself no matter who she is with. I told her that she can say no to any adult that makes her uncomfortable or asks her to do something that she feels is wrong even if it is a teacher or a coach. But I would like to learn other ways to explain it without her feeling like everyone can be a predator. Good luck.
Hi Mom,
Good idea to teach this concept to a young child. I would start by going to the library or book store and finding soem child friendly book9s) on stranger danger. I know there are some out there, one in particular called "Never Talk to Strangers" I think there is a Berenstain Bears book on this topic too Personally, I feel as a mom you need to keep a closer eye on your son if he is going up to stranger and talking so freely to them out in public. Never let him go on his own in a store out of your eyesight . After reading the books you then explain to your son that there are many nice people in the world, but some are not nice and they might hurt or take children and be mean to them. Explain that since he is young he can not tell who is a good stranger and who might be a bad stranger, so it is better not to talk or ever go with someone without mom or dad saying its ok. I woud also set up a secret family password with him that only family members know. You and he can make up the password and give it only to close family members (ours is a pet's name) It needs to be something he will easily remember. Tell him he can only go somewhere with someone he does not know if mom and dad are not there if they know the secret family password. This works well for after school pick up, or daycare pickup if mom or dad hasa real emergency and can't be there to pick him up and is sending someone they may not know well or at all. We set this secret password w/ my daughter when she was 3 and she is a teenager now. It works and they like the idea of a secret family password. Hope this helps.
Another vote for The Safe Side DVD! Excellent!!!
OMGosh! you described my 6yo to a tee! Never met a stranger. From the gas station clerk to the guy in line behind us at the grocery store.
At my house we try to approach it positively. So we just started talking about how we make friends (because every friend was technically a stranger first) and pointed out the difference between friends and strangers. Also that it is ok to be more outgoing with kids your own age vs. adults. I also talked about what information we share with friends and we don't share those same things with "strangers." We also talked about things that are not safe - riding in cars without car seats, biking withoug helmets and not going to houses where mommy and daddy don't know the people, etc. We speak in practical terms of safety that he understands and ,yes, many of these "safety scenarios" invovle stranger danger awareness, but doesn't scare him.
I want him to retain his innocence and his outgoing personality while being safe. I think you are trying to do that too.
Best of luck with your outgoing little one!
I highly recommend the Gavin deBecker book "Protecting the Gift" that a previous poster suggested. One of the things he talked about was what a child should do if he/she is ever separated from you in public. He said that they should always ask a woman for help -- in particular a woman with children. Most pedophiles are men. Some even have fake police badges to fool kids into trusting them, so going to a mall security guard or cop may not even be safe. But a woman will most likely stay right with your child until she knows he/she is safely with you. It's the Mama Bear instinct. My daughter remembered this when she was only 5 and got separated from her Dad in a mall food court. When he spotted her, only a couple of minutes later, she was talking to two women with kids. It was a scary few minutes for him, but I'm glad she remembered what I told her to do!
One thing that I reiterate to my children is that an adult stranger should never need to ask a child for help. An adult should be asking another adult for help. (In kidnapping cases, you hear that many times an adult asks a child to help look for their dog, ask them for directions etc. to lure them to get close.)
I am hoping that this single tip will raise a red flag for them if they are ever in a dangerous situation.
