How to Respond to Rude Question

I tell people I'm keeping my son healthy through cold and flu season. I plan to wean him sometime between Feb and May (he'll be 12-15 months).

Hi M. Some people just don't think before they speak. When someone asks you again, just said breast is the best they can have and I'll continue doing it untill they are completely wean. That should shut them up.

Very simple; This is my choice and it is my time to share some quiet together time with with boy. Is there a problem with me wanting that?

What a pain! I have boy/girl twins born November 2008 and we are still nursing. I haven't dealt with negative comments, I'm sorry you have to.

I know you have many answers, so I'm trying to add something new. Why do you nurse? I nurse because it's easier, cheaper, best for the babies and I enjoy the bonding it allows. One of my most frequent "reasons" is "could you imagine all the bottles I'd have to wash?". I recommend thinking about why you do it and just explaining that.

Congrats on making it. A year ago you would have given me so much hope, I was worried about being able to nurse mine even after nursing two other children to 15 months. Great job!!

Just answer yes, there is nothing to defend. According to the World Health Organization the average age to breast feed around the world is 3 years. I think what people do not understand is that you are not usually exclusively breastfeeding. A new mom may be intimidated by the fact that you are breastfeeding past a year, she might not feel like she can make it that long. So you never know. I found a simple yes that was direct, confident and straightforward spoke volumes more than the defense of so called extended breast feeding. You are so amazing to have given this gift to your children. Above and beyond!

(I breastfed my 1st daughter until the second one came - she was just shy of her 3rd birthday and down to once a day. I will give my second daughter the same opportunity.)

Hi M.,

My grandbaby just turned two and she has not weaned herself from the breast yet. I did not breast feed my daughter. I did the same stupid thing. I asked my daughter when she was going to stop breast feeding. It was because I was ignorant. When my daughter explained the process I realized how truly important it is to breastfeed as long as a mom wants. Best wishes, S.

Hi... Congratulations !!
First.. I am now a grandma.. But when I had my kids..Breastfeeding wasn't overly popular to start with, But I was a rebel and did it any way. My husband , having mant health issuses as a baby, well just wanted to give my kids the BEST start in life that I could ! My 1st baby needed me for 13 mos. I breast fed exclusvely. My second was 19 mos. before he had to be weened. The last was 26 mos. In each case...they had caught colds..and switched to water and juice to help congestion problems and I wasn't able to keep up with demand following, or I would have gone longer. Boy ..did I get comments about it. But you know..God didn't put those things on you to make the sweaters look good! He put them there so you could feed your children the best , most nurishing food there is for your children. And that should be your answer !
Love your kids.. do what's best for them and yourself, and forget rude people. You are definately NOT a freak for nurseing your babies... so Throw that blankie over your shoulder and nurse them any where you darn well please !!

Hi,
I'd first want to say this is very common. There are a lot of issues. Maybe your co-worker isn't breastfeeding anymore due to pressures on her or it was too much "work". Maybe she honestly is impressed. Or maybe she is uncomfortable-some women have inner battles with themselves because they feel embarrassed breastfeeding but know it is the best thing to do. She might have a Mom or husband who pressured her into stopping. There are so many reasons to breastfeed.
1. The Physical differences in breast milk-the formulas just can't match it,
2. The immunology-especially at work-mom's who breastfeed miss LESS work then moms who do because they pass antibodies for every flu/cold/virus they catch to the baby so the baby doesn't get sick while bottle fed or weaned babies get sick and non Breastfeeding Mom's miss work,
3. The emotional effects are another wonderful aspect-breastfeeding regulates babies temperature-in twins each breast regulates different temperatures for a perfect feeeding specific to each twin! The emotional bond is usually formed earlier!
4. Mom's who return to work have less time with their babies so intimate bonding is important.
5. Lastly, everyone is different and if you choose to have a different religion or lifestyle at work she can not "harass" you-harassment is the act of repeatedly making another uncomfortable-once you speak up even if she doesn't understand as a coworker she must honor your choice.
As a Doula I council many women on this issue and the most important thing to remember is it is your body and your children. Do what you think is right! At some point people will disagree with your parenting style and if you think it is right you have to stand up for it. Though, in this case most people agree. Hopefully she is actually impressed. If not I would try to honor her choice and stay true to my beliefs.
Personally I would casually answer-yes it is so important for ME. I think (all the info above-whatever you Truly believe the positives are) and some people don't have the chance but I can so I do.---if she is still resistant I'd add--- I work hard and I appreciate the laws in place to give me this right-our boss-and coworkers support. Most of the time that ends it. I don't like confrontation but some women have brought it up to supervisors or breastfeeding in bathrooms or separate rooms to avoid this. It is your right to breastfeed in public-many laws and cases have proved women can and do breast-feed in public. Best of luck and let us know how she handles however you decide to tell her or whatever happens. L.
Hopefully she'd get the hint.

Hi M.! It is so hard to field rude questions! I am wondering if your co-worker is breastfeeding or not? If she isn't, she may be feeling some guilt and that could be why she mentions it so much.

You standard answer can simply be "Yes" with no explanation. You don't owe anyone an answer.

My greatest desire was to breastfeed exclusively but I got a TON of nasty remarks for supplementing. I finally decided not to let any comments get to me and started ignoring the rude people who had no idea of my situation. The comments still came but they had no power over me. I hope the same for you!
You are NOT a freak, you are a mom doing what you feel is best for your baby. Stand strong!

"Why? Are you jealous?"

Sorry, I couldn't resist.

Now, are you actually breastfeeding your twins in front of these individuals, or is this information you offered voluntarily? I'm not saying you should be ashamed of it -- quite the opposite, keep up the good work! -- but personally, I don't share details of my life with anyone who isn't going to "get" them. There's no point to it. Just know that YOU are doing the right thing for you and your family and let it go at that.

I'm working on weaning my 15 month old also, and I'm getting a lot of this sort of thing... but on both sides! I recently posted to mamasource for advice about weaning and all I got were responses about how I should continue breastfeeding indefinitely, blah, blah, blah and nothing about the question I asked. Then I hear the opposite from people around me... like how in the world am I still nursing a 15 month old??? I'm actually tired of hearing the judgments from both sides. Every baby is different and I had really great reasons for nursing as long as I have. I am ready to wean for a number of reasons and that is also my choice. I don't need nursing advocates coming down on me for weaning any more than I need to hear comments about nursing a young toddler! Breastfeeding is healthy for baby and mom, and we should be commended for nursing as long as we have and supported by other moms during the weaning process, whenever it happens : ) You are not alone! I choose to ignore the rude comments and do what's best for my family ; )

Hi M.

I don't have any breastfeeding answers, but as a mom through international adoption, I've gotten good at using the "WISE Up" strategy for rude or intrusive questions/comments that I get. The strategy was designed for kids, but it works well for adults. I've also found it works for just about all instrusive questions/comments, and it's easy to remember.

Here's the tool, with the adoption language still there, but you can easily adapt it to your situation.

W = WALK AWAY, or ignore what you hear.
I = IT’S PRIVATE, I do not have to share information with anyone, and I can say that appropriately, even to adults.
S = SHARE SOMETHING about my adoption story, but I can think carefully about what I want to let others know.
E = EDUCATE OTHERS about adoption in general, for example, I can talk about how adoption works today, successful adoptees, inaccurate information in the media, etc. I know a lot about it.

I've also found the general "Why do you ask?" works in a lot of situations. If the person is asking, for example, because they are breastfeeding and want some advice, you might be more open than if it is just someone who insists on getting into your business. (I'll talk a lot more openly with someone who is considering adoption, or is an adoptive parent, than just a random nosey person.

If there are people who question my parenting I just say "this is what works for our family". It's simple, not rude and gets them off the subject.

Your baby - your choice! Doesn't matter if it is nursing, formula, solids; everyone feels the need to chime in on when and how to feed your baby.

A simple "Yep - we sure are!" should suffice.

If you have a twisted sense of humor, you can always try "Yeah I know - they'll be the only ones in their kindergarten class still nursing!" because no one really knows what to say after that remark! (Or, one ridiculous comment followed by a ridiculous remark from you)

Good luck and let it roll off your back.

Dear M., that just angers me that people actually ask!! like hello its best for baby!! yor babies are only one years old not 5 years old!! how about? well Yes, my pediatrican encourge it! says it the best for my twins! doesn't you baby doctor??? and u dont have to wean them!
its best for them! look too at the money you save! and you can nurse em both at the same time!!

good luck!! stay proud!!

Debbie

Hi M.,
I nursed my first daughter until she was 2 and then let her start up again when she was 30 months after I had my second child. I did wean her a second time when she turned 3 but am currently still nursing my 2nd child who will be 1 next month and I am 8 weeks pregnant and I plan on continueing to nurse.
I would remind them that it is the healthist food for your children and that they are getting all your built up immunity. If you need a good excuse say you want to keep them as healthy as possible through the winter with all the flu scares. Either way you are doing the best thing for your boys so go with it until you are ready to be done.

When asked intrusive questions I always respond with a very direct look right into the person's eyes, smile sweetly and say "Why would you want to know such personal information?" Remember, you owe no one any information about yourself or your dear children. How long you breast feed is a personal decision and quite frankly I probably would just ignore the question all together. They will get the message.

One response I used was that the World Health Organization advises nursing until age two for maximum health benefits...DO NOT let public opinion distract you from doing what is best for you and your babies! I know it's a special thing but it is also a sacrifice of your self and it can be so annoying to have people question it!!

If I ever said that, that's come from admiration. Not so many people can still breastfeed over one year. So I always envy one that still can :)
Just say you are blessed to still be able to provide the best food for your children. Not too mention the bonding between mom and child(ren).

Congratulations on a year of nursing twins!!

Even if the question is asked in a rude way, try your best to answer positively. Say "I know, isn't that fabulous?!" I also like to (gently) remind people that human milk is always better for human babies than cow's milk. I really can't believe that the majority of people think that cow's milk is better for one year olds than human milk!
I nursed my first daughter until she was nearly 3. Basically, by age 2 I took a "don't ask, don't tell" approach. People stopped asking if I was still breastfeeding (because they assumed that I wasn't), and I stopped volunteering that information. My dd2 will be 2 in January and she is still nursing 4 times a day or more.

Look at the person and say "Yes...are you still eating?"

or

go into the lecture about how breast milk is the superior food to anything else you could possible feed your kids...

or

tell her/him that you are saving for college and this is the cheapest thing you could think of...

or

yes, why do you ask?

or

"No"

or

yes it is recommended by leading doctors to breastfeed for at least 1 whole year and I always do everything I'm told,especially by a doctor.

or

yes, but this one needs his diaper changed

or

yes, and I couldn't br happier

or

yes, and I'll do anything I can to make sure they get into a great college

which one is your favorite?

Have fun with it!

I nursed my 17 year old daughter til she was 4 and my 11 year old son til he was 2.

They are outstanding kids and we have great relationships!

Way to go mommy!

Best,
E.

KUDOS to YOU! I couldn't breastfeed my twins and you work full time, too?!!?

Hi,

The only person that can make you feel that way is you so, I would handled it by simply saying that is what is best for my children. If it continues change the subject or find something to do and walk away. You could also make a joke out it and say that is between my breasts and the boys-thank you for your concern though and smile:)

L.

Just say yes. Your simple, undefended answer is all that's needed. You can't actually know what prompts a stupid question – it might even be admiration in some cases. And honestly, haven't we all asked the occasional dumb or rude question?

Don't try to read other people's minds, just mind your own, and all will be fine.

My best answer is just to say, "Of course!"

M.
BF mom of Peri, 2 yrs old
and Pixie until she was 3.5 yrs old

Wow, if you're a freak, what does that make me? :) My 2 yo still nurses 2x a day and I'm pregnant with #2! Honestly, I don't bring it up and people generally don't ask me. I'd just respond honestly...you wanted to nurse until they were 1 (recommended by AAP, many other organizations recommend even longer-WHO) and you are in the process of weaning. If you want/need to go further, say that it's difficult with two and taking longer than you thought, but that you know you will all get there. End of story. Seriously, you owe no one an explanation at all. If you're bolder and/or don't care what the rude person thinks, just say that it's none of their business, etc.

I agree that this needs NO explanation! You need to just be ok with it and deal with what people say. I think it's great that you've been able to nurse twins this long, way to go!! Be proud of yourself. Everyone has their own opinion on how long a child should nurse and some people feel they need to share their views when they just need to keep their mouths shut. If they just turned a year that really is still pretty young, who says that a baby needs to be cut off right at the 12 month mark? The co-worker who's a new mom probably sees how big your 1 yr olds are compaired to how big her baby is and thinks they're too old. I remember when my first was a little baby still, and whenever I would see an older baby (like a yr old) I would think how much "older" they were because of how big they were but once my baby hit that age they were still MY little baby.

Anyway, you are doing nothing wrong so don't feel bad. Just simply tell the lady this is the decision you've made and let it be. If it makes you feel any better although I only nursed my 1st for 2.5 weeks I nursed my 2nd 15 months, 3rd 18 months and 4th 2.5 years. :)

I breast feed until my son was almost 2. Mind you most of those after 1 & 1/2 were at nap times and bed times. There is no problem with that. Michael Jordan was breastfed until he was 5, and he turned out fine.

would just say"yeah, isn't it great!!!" I bet your kids are really happy and healthy right? Good for you! They're probably just jealous or saying it in admiration. Try to give people the benefit of the doubt!

I think you are taking the question the wrong way. To nurse twins is an accomplishment, to nurse the full first year is even more of one! I think the people are not being negative but rather pointing out how great you are. Even if they aren't - take it that way as if they are.

Respond with, "I know, it was so much easier then I thought it was going to be." or something like that. If they ask when you plan on stopping say, "I will gradually wean them like it's recommended to do."

I know how you feel. I didn't breast feed and I got sick of people aksing me "what went wrong." People really get personal and don't mind their business. That drives me crazy. Is it really affecting you, no! So stay out of it!!! I really have no advice, I don't really know what to say. Maybe sayn well, this is what works for our family.

In all honesty, you don't owe any response to anyone!!However, there are people that are relentless in their rude and ignorant questioning! I nursed my first until she was 4 years and 3 months and hope to do that with my son who is 8 weeks old.

You can reply with:

(#1), " According to the World Health Organization (WHO)reccomends Exclusive breastfeeding up to 6 months of age, with continued breastfeeding along with appropriate complementary foods up to two years of age or beyond.

(#2) According to UNICEF, The aim is to create an environment globally that empowers women to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and continue to breastfeed for two years or more. This is optimal infant and young child feeding, the Best Start to life.

(3) According to La Leche League International (LLLI),
Even after 12 months, babies continue to benefit from human milk. At one year of age, a baby's immune system is functioning at only 60 percent of adult level and because formula has no live antibodies, it is strongly associated with high rates of infection (Huggins 2007). A child's immune system isn't functioning at adult level until age six (Dettwyler 1994).

The benefits of breastfeeding make it the optimal feeding choice. Also, there is no easier way to comfort a sick or upset child than to simply breastfeed. According to Norma Jane Bumgarner in MOTHERING YOUR NURSING TODDLER:

Sucking is a necessary restorative for rapidly growing little people, so much so that most children who do not nurse seek an alternative such as a bottle, pacifier, thumb, fingers, hair, or blanket. Sucking on these alternatives can force a child's permanent teeth out of alignment, while nursing actually improves the dental arch and may minimize self-comforting techniques.

In addition, the benefits of breastfeeding a baby extends to a toddler for as long as a mother nurses. For an ill toddler, the ability to keep him hydrated and happy is a definite boon. Offering comfort is such a fundamental part and advantage of nursing a toddler -- an aspect of the nursing relationship that is seldom understood by those who haven't done it.
There is a whole lot more to this on this link: http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct07p196.html

(#3) According to UNICEF, The aim is to create an environment globally that empowers women to breastfeed exclusively for the first six months and continue to breastfeed for two years or more. This is optimal infant and young child feeding, the Best Start to life."

So take your pick of replies and keep up the good work mama!! Remember you know your babies and know what is best for them more than anyone else!

Good suggestions from others on here! I just want to commend you for continuing with breast feeding, especially with twins! Good for you!! I nursed my first born until he was 14 months and am still nursing my daughter who just turned one. I enjoy it very much and one of the things I have said to people (if I feel they deserve an explanation) is that I really want to get through flu season so she has all the immunities I can give her. Good luck!! And congrats on your twins. :)

first of all GOOD JOB MAMA!!!!!! You are doing the best thing for your babies and all the research is on your side!!!! First off I want to say I am still nursing my 22 month old so I understand how people can react. Its all how you handle their comment. Realize first that some people are not thinking negatively when they say "you are still nursing?" I have had people say that same thing to me and I say Yes and they say "great job!" and high five me! But I have also have had the people look at me and say "isnt she a little old for that?" and I say " no, actually there is tons of nutrition in my breast milk and with flu season coming this is the best thing I can do to protect my child. Sick kids will refuse food BUT they WILL nurse! This is why breastfed kids are hospitalized less" I had a good friend give me more flack once and I asked her to find one article that said what I was doing was harming my child...she no longer mentions it. As long as you know what you are doing is the right thing and have no shame then people will feel that and keep their thoughts to themselves! AGAIN GOOD JOB MAMA!!!!!!

Hi M.,
I nursed all four of my children. They are all grown now but I never thought about caring for my children any other way. I nursed till the next baby came. They are all about 2.5 years apart. My in-laws were not familiar with nursing and sometimes I humored other nursing moms that they thought I would still be nursing still today. The people with rude comments are usually pretty ignorant about the joys and benefits of nursing. My first two sons were extremely active babies and toddlers so nursing them was a great way to cuddle,calm and comfort these busy boys. I was a working mom as well, so it was even more rewarding to be able to come home from work and nurse. It is such a small time in your lives. Ten years from now what will it matter what people who are probably clueless about one of the most beneficial experiences of motherhood. And why don't you treat them as one of your students. Many times most of the people who had something negative to say had very little understanding and knowledge of the precious gift of breastfeeding. My husband still to this day is a very strong voice to nursing mothers. God bless you and your most precious baby boys.

I haven't read all of your responses, but I bet they are all positive and supportive. My response would be, "Yeah, isn't it great! I know not every mom is able to keep doing this and I love it!"

I'm so impressed! With my first, my goal was 6 months- I went almost a year but supplemented. With my second I went 20 months and finally had to stop because I was so exhausted. He'd wake up at 5am and I'd nurse him back to sleep. He'd he started not falling back asleep and asking for breakfast after nursing- that was the last straw. I know someone that still nursing and her son is probably almost 3. Keep sticking to what is right for you!

Hi M.,

I would respond in a positive way stating something like, "Yes, it is really important to me to give my little boys the best start possible. I am grateful that I have been able to do this and proud of myself. Some people cannot handle breastfeeding one baby for a year...and I have managed two!" :) Plus, you can always point out that the AAP encourages breastfeeding for a year to give our babes (and us!) many physical and emotional benefits. :)

I congratulate you tremendously...working full time out of the house and still managing to do this for two babies. You should be sooo proud of yourself!!! :)

Take care,
K.

I would say, :I know aren't my children smart? OR I know when do your kids stop, and then when they reply you can say IM SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT>
Its a comment I feel is done because that woman was unable to breastfeed successfully.
I could be wrong. BUT strongly feel I am not.
Good job MOM and OH by the way with the FLU going around, I would have to say the breastfeeding just may be the best defense. A NATURAL NO PAIN VACCINE!
Keep up the great work.

I've tried spinning "questions" that I initially take as rude into a positive. You know why you are breastfeeding... because there are so many incredible benefits to both you and your boys. I would respond by saying.... "Yes, I am still breastfeeding I am so lucky..." and then, fill in the next part with some of your reason why... my boys are getting the best nutrition, save money by not having to buy formula, the metabolic benefits for mom... etc., etc. I was only able to breastfeed until my son was six months old because I didn't assert myself enough to make it possible after I returned to work. I know the benefits and wished I would have done it longer. Don't let someone else's ignorant comments disguised as a question ruin what you feel is best for your children.

My twins are 4....the odd questions aren't going to stop. I breastfed my two until they were 20 and 21 months and weaned themselves. My mom was constantly asking me when I would wean...and kept saying aren't they too old to be breastfeeding...my mom should know better...but I ignored her as breastfeeding is a choice between mom and child. Do what YOU want to do and don't let the idiots in the world make you feel bad about that decision. If she is such a bother about it....I would stop answering her questions.

M.,
I have probably asked that exact question to people but it came from a place of being totally IMPRESSED that they were able to stick with it so long (and especially with twins) because I had a lot of problems.
That being said, WHO CARES what other people think!!? Everyone knows that it's best for the child so don't even waste one second letting yourself worry about looking like a "freak" as you say. Besides, you really never know what is going on in someone else's head! ...so don't worry about it! Good job!

If I were to say, Wow, you're still breastfeeding, it would be in awe. I had difficulties and never made it past three months -- which I do regret! It's not abnormal for people to breastfeed occasionally, even up to age two. If other people are being ignorant, it's their problem not yours. Good luck!

Hello -
My son is almost 2 and still nurses. I face these questions all the time, but I usually find that those asking are just jealous and insecure that they did not breastfeed as long. Feel no need to make excuses or explain yourself. You should be proud of your choices - as it is the best thing for your babies!

My daughter is 18 months and I am pregnant due in 3 weeks. I nurse my daughter still 2x a day as she is not ready to stop. I get it all the time too. I just try to find the people I know who are supportive and go to them when I can't stand the comments any more. I just know what I am doing is right for my family and that is all that truly matters. Good Luck!

I know you probably got all your answers already -but I just wanted to say congrats to you! I am nursing my second child right now. I only made it 4 months with my first. I am proud to have made it six months with #2, but I keep saying I may quit any day now. Breastfeeding is the one thing I thought would be easy and natural and was just so much more difficult than I planned. If I meet someone who is breastfeeding a baby past one year - I may say the same thing - but it is not judgment, but awe in my voice - and maybe a pang of jealousy - that other women can pull it off - and I just can't!!!

First of all, Well done! That is great that you made it so long breastfeeding! I have a 7 year old that I only got nurse for about 2 months, and now a 7 month old, that I partially nurse, due to working and I would give anything to be able to nurse completely. You should really be proud of yourself. If someone were to say something to me, I would simply reply that I am doing what is best for my children. Why would you choose to give them something synthetic (sp?) when you can give them what they are meant to have? I plan to nurse up to 2 years if my body permits! I don't care what people think, nor should you. To me if people think there is something wrong with this, apparently they are too ignorant to understand the benefit, or they are envious that they were not able to nurse that long or they didn't have the will to do it, or maybe they just didn't want to. Just know that you are doing the best you can do! Good luck, and don't stop because you feel embarrased.

I'd just tell them it's because they are twins. After all, twins are usually a little smaller and are born about 3 weeks earlier than singletons if they make it to full term. So every little bit helps.

How about, "Why, yes I am, I don't want to be one of those regretful moms in the future, you know the ones who always wished they had nursed longer or nursed at all." Remember to say this adoringly and with a smile, because you will probably be looking in the face of one of those regretful moms. By the way I never nursed any of mine and I wish I had tried. God Be With you and job well done =).

P.S. My daughter nursed my grandson until he was 18 mos.

i get this too! my daughter is 3 1/2 and hasn't made the decision to stop nursing yet. *it's her decision* how i usually respond is 'wow! i didn't know my boobs affected you that much!' or 'according to WHO (world health organization) children should be breast fed until the age of 2 OR as long as mutually agreed upon by mother and child' people usually back off if they know there is some research behind it. you could even say 'with the H1N1 going around, i'm just trying to give my children as much protection as possible.' most people in other countries (the US is sadly lacking) nurse there children for a long time - until around the age of 5!! congratulations! you're doing a great job at giving your children the best start possible.

C.
NICU RN

GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No small task nursing 2 babies at once while maintaining not one, but two jobs! I would respond by smiling wide and saying " Isn't it great! I'm proud of myself for keeping it going this long too! A lot of women can't manage to nurse one baby let alone two!"
Enjoy your beautiful moments with your beautiful boys!

First I commend you for all that you do with such a busy life already! Secondly, you don't owe anyone an explaination about anything you do with your family and your children;except you and your husband. If he isn't having a problem with it, you shouldn't worry about anyone on the outside having any problems with it. This is your children, your family, your life. Live it the way you desire to do so. And please give other young mother's some advice on how to get so much energy and get up and go about themselves too. That might help all the children grow up to be well rounded productive adults...

Are you sure they are saying it critically? If I said something like that (which I hope I wouldn't!) it would be out of admiration. Just a thought. Regardless, I agree with the others that all you need to say is "yes" and move on.

I know you have gotten tons of replies, but I just want to say, good for you for sticking with breastfeeding for as long as you have wanted to & been able to do so. I myself had horrible troubles with nursing. I tried everything possible, more than one lactation consultant, etc. I ended up pumping for 5 mos., before having to switch exclusively to formula. Ughh...I felt horrible when people saw me give a bottle & either ask why I wasn't nursing or assumed it was formula or insisted I wasn't trying hard enough or didn't want to do it or that pumping was somehow more convenient for me or tons of other horrid things that really came across as judgmental or presumptuous. Even now I often hear some mothers, many who have breastfed kids, talk negatively or at least imply it is odd or strange that someone we know with a child over a year old, is still nursing. I am not sure if they are uncomfortable with their own bodies or if they feel badly b/c they didn't want to or weren't able to nurse as long. I am not sure what it is...but yes, I can imagine what you are feeling. Perhaps if someone says "wow, you're still breastfeeding?!" to your face, you can just simply say back, with plenty of enthusiasm & no apologies or hesitance in your voice, "Why yes I am!" I suppose you could follow it up with...and it's none of your business or perhaps something else that might capture their attention & make them realize how rude they are being. In the case of the coworker who is a new mom, perhaps she isn't breastfeeding or doesn't want to or is thinking of stopping or maybe she really tried & it didn't work out. It may just be her own issues. Perhaps you could talk to her privately about how she is making you feel like a freak. Makes no sense. There's nothing freakish or weird about nursing children, even twins!

Oh...assuming you never have any reason to nurse at work, I would say that it really is none of anybody's business. When I was pregnant, I took Bradley classes & worked very hard to have natural child birth. I had to stop talking about what I wanted from birth with co-workers and most people outside my class & close friends b/c I would get treated like a freak, told that I couldn't do, would change my mind, etc. It felt HORRIBLE. Perhaps, if you can, tell people you don't care to talk about it with them. Get your support elsewhere if you need to mention it. Sometimes that's all you can do -protect yourself.

Good luck to you.

I'm stumped on why people would ask you that. Personally, my goal for each of my children was to at least get to a year for breastfeeding - I didn't reach it, for various reasons. Just simply tell them you like making decisions that are good for your children. Give them a sweet smile and walk away. :) Its strange how people come out with some of the rudest comments to either pregnant women or mothers. Good luck and try to ignore the comments! You know in your heart that you are doing something great for your twins!

Hi M.. Good for you for breastfeeding twins to begin with!!! (I went to 14 months with my daughter!) As for defending your choice... stop! It's no one's business! If you are happy and they are happy, then what's the problem! I think next time someone says "Wow, you're still breastfeeding?", you respond, "Yes, isn't it great?!?!"

I would suggest saying that yes you are and are still happily doing so. If you want to add more umph, WHO recommends kids be bf for 2 whole years, not the 6 mths from the AMA. In all countries but here they nurse for at least 2 years. I happily nursed my daughter for 25 months. She was still nursing much more than twice a day even when we stopped, but I was at a point that I needed her to move on. And at that point she could. Even a year later now she still talks about it and how she loved her "mimi's". It is a great feeling to know that you have taken care of your child so well. Enjoy this time and don't let what they say bother you. It may have helped me b/c I planned to nurse until she was 2 and most of my friends nursed until 2 or planned to, but just let it roll off your back as best you can. You are giving your kids the best thing you can. Also you may not want to give it up due to the flu going around the only thing that they may be able to keep down is breastmilk, or the immunities that it provides may keep them from even catching it.

I know how you feel. I nursed for 18 months with my daughter and felt like I had to keep that secret as much as possible at work because I didn't want to deal with comments. As good as it might feel to tell people to mind their own business (because they should), a positive response is always better. Pretend you don't get that they are being judgemental "Yes, I know, isn't it great?" for example. You might also mention how the WHO recommends breastfeeding for 2 years. Above all, don't let their criticism make you stop before you are ready.

I have fielded this question my self. My son is 14 months old and we are also in the process of weening. No one knows how difficult that is. Congratulations on nursing this long. Do what is right for you and your twins.

M.,
I so know how you feel. My son is 26 months old and still nurses at least once a day. I'm lucky that he only does it during nap times/ sleep times, so it's not something many people would know about, but my mom did recently ask me how much longer I was going to nurse him. My response was, "Don't worry Mom, I promise he won't be 15 and still nursing." That seemed to quiet her up.

Good for you for still nursing your babies! Other primates nurse their babies up to 2.5 years or more, so what you are doing is completely natural.

T.
www.ReadandGrow.com

My daughter just turned one, and when I'm asked the same question I just say "yes". No need to defend.

How long you choose to breastfeed your children is entirely your own family business, and your decision! I nursed my twins until they were more than two years old (At that point it was occasional and for comfort, they were also eating lots of solid food). No, you are not a freak. Our society has some funny ideas about breasts being primarily sexual, about breast-feeding and child-rearing; in general we are not nearly as child- and family-friendly society as we might be. The Scandinavians have it all over us! Best of luck continuing to make decisions that are right for you and your family; the world will not always applaud you for that.