How to Reconnect with the Hubby--cheaply!

One thing I do is take some time after everyone is asleep and cut paper into strips....once I have 25 strips I write one thing I love about him on each strip. Fold and number them, then strategically place them around the house. In his undie drawer, on the mirror, on the alarm clock, etc. This will help you remember why you fell in love with him all those years ago, and It'll get him thinking too!

A late candle light dinner in the back yard, pretty table, cook a the meal or get your favorite take out and dress it up.. Top with a fancy dessert, favorite tunes playing in the back ground that might allow for some dancing later.. A movie perhaps or just time to talk about the future and share how blessed you both are to have found each other..

You could even have the kids be your waiters if you can't find a sitter..

Hope that helps

We've been in the same situation before. We went through this with our 1st child and had no money or babysitters back then! The most romantic thing my husband ever did on an anniversary was he hung sheets around our kitchen table to make it closed and intimate (I think he just used push pins in the ceiling to hang them). He lit a candle on the table. Hung on the sheets were simple drawings with a caption of a special memory about us from each year of marriage...and he made a not so great but absolutely loved dinner! Maybe you could do something similar? I would love to have my husband's creativity... Anyway, now that we have 3, and I know you have 4, it is harder. We are tired and overrun most of the time...but we still do romantic dinners at home and sometimes a good movie. Sometimes we play games...this past Valentine's day I bought him a Kama Sutra game for about $15 off the internet. It's not like me to do something like that...and it has been well worth the money. Also, in our conversations with each other about his world and mine, it's interesting to see the differences...to talk about world issues and how we see things...to listen to the other person and not worry so much about doing the talking. We are different...our interests are different...but not all of them...and we aren't completely different. I once heard a saying, "Concentrate on the similarities rather than the differences." I try to do that...to find the similarity within ourselves rather than focusing on what's different. I seem to feel happier when I do that.

Hey L.. Something great that you've got going for you is that you both want to make things better, so that's a WONDERFUL thing. For the first several years of our marriage my husband and I didn't have much money either. One thing you and your husband can definitely agree on is your children. Try packing a picnic and either going out into your backyard or a park nearby. Take a kick ball or something else and play some family games, which is fun for everyone, and you don't have to worry about paying for a babysitter. A park with a playground is ideal and while your children play (ask the older ones to help the younger ones) then you and your husband can sit and talk while you watch the kids.

Also, try movie night. Put the kids to bed, pop some popcorn and watch a movie that you guys both would like. Or even game night when the kids are in bed. Do you both like scrabble? Cards games...anything like that? It's a good way to do something that allows you to relax and talk.

We read a book once called the Five Love Languages are something along those lines. I don't remember who wrote it. It was very helpful for us because it helped us understand why the other didn't feel loved. Turns out we were exact opposites in the love area. We still refer back to it every now and then as he has suggestions on how to speak love to your spouse in a way your spouse can feel. I highly recommend the book!

I have a husband that I have very little in common with he is 18 years my senior and we don't even have the same evergy levels but if there is anyway you can get someone from your church to tend I had the funnest idea today and i want to try it, I love music so I am going to make song come alive in our relationship to create memories for each song, the first one I want to try as things warm up is the NItty GRitty dirt bands "fishin' in the Dark" I will see if my sis will watch my 7 babies over night (she lives 2 hours away), and I will plan a night of camping and fishing in the dark as we watch the stars and we will see if we can connect over songs, maybe a song a month theme kind of thing. won't it be fun? what do you think.

Having kids can make alone time get tricky. Every night me and my husband have pillow talk after the kids are in bed. If someone is interested in something say playing video games or hiking. The other spouse does the activity that their spouse likes with them and tries to learn more about it. I have come to realize that I begin to like things that I didn't think would be very fun. We like to play card games or go to the park and play soccor together or just take a walk. We love watching movies but don't do it as often because it doesn't encourage talking. To make a relationship stronger you need to talk and understand the other person. Also doing things to serve one another. This can be exchanging body massages or making your spouse a special dinner or connecting over lunch when most of your kids are in school. Even if it is a sandwich from home and you go to a park. I hope some of these ideas help. I think that it also helps me to remind myself that my husband is who I chose to live with forever, and that encourages me to work harder to find ways to strengthen our relationship.

Dear L.,

Congratulations on your upcoming anniversary! you must be so exited about it. So while reading your request I sort of felt that it was I who wrote it. Keeping the romance alive in a relationship is the hardest thing, especially when $$ problems are present. You also mentioned that you have four kids, and that takes most of our energy as parents and we tend to forget about ourselves and our spouse. The good thing is that you love your man and that you want him to know that...and I bet that he loves you too.

So, this is what I have been doing with mine...(I have the exact same story as you) After considering leaving the man I adore, I decided that I was the one who was going to change my attitude towards myself and our relationship. I started by getting a haircut without expecting my husband to notice or even say something nice...but he did! I am taking time for myself and trying to get in shape after letting myself gain lots of pounds after my second daughter was born...Exercising has helped me relax, look and feel better, and most importantly my husband is noticing that and is happy about me doing it. Now I am always sure that I put on some make up and comb my hair (I got really nice and cheap make up at Big Lots!)<I threw away my old t-shirts and put on nice clothes so when my hubby gets home he finds a HOT MAMA :) I also love the way I feel since I started taking care of myself.

I hated (still hate) to clean and cook, but now I do it more often. I also decided that for our family's sake I should take control of my house cleanliness and family's good eating habits. So I try to accomplish at least one chore a day. I clean the bathrooms on Friday, Do laundry on Wednesday, vacuum on Tuesdays, etc. I also found really good, cheap, and nutritious recipes online (I just googled them) You mentioned having a 9, 7, and 5 year olds, girl they are old enough to help you with chores around home. I make my 3 year old do the dusting and window cleaning..she loves it! If you delegate chores you'll find it easier to keep a nice and clean home, and you won't be too burden with it. Your hubby can help too, off course. I promise that he will be more exited to come back to a clean home form work each day.

So I know this does not cover the romance part, but please believe me that it is a start. After doing this for two months, I feel that my husband is less stressed out and complains less about the house stuff. I am nagging less and try to let my husband know that I appreciate what he does. I send him e-cards every week, try Hallmark.com they have tons of free ecards you can send. My husband comes back home and thanks me for that, and even though I do not get an e-card back (he is not romantic) I love to hear that I made his day. So you can prepare him to have a special anniversary by changing the atmosphere at home, but most importantly by changing your attitude, try to always look nice, not only for him, but for yourself...it really makes a difference. Remind your hubby how hot you were...and still are after ten years.

You seems to be running and not stopping to smell the roses.
Make time when the kids are in bed. Learn to play games together again.
Is there a park near your house. Go to a pond let the kids feed the ducks. Go for long walks as a family.
sometimes we are so busy we forget what is really important in life.
Children grow so fast and time goes even faster.
Relax take the time you both have right now with your kids it will soon be teenage years then you will need each other for support more than ever.