How to Keep a 5 Year Old in His Bed at Night

I leave a blanket and pillow on the floor next to my bed every night. My girls both know they can come in if they're scared, but they're not allowed to wake me! About once a week I wake up and find someone sleeping on the floor, but I don't think that's a big deal. My 7 year old still sometimes wanders in, lies down, realizes it's not quite as comfortable as her bed, and leaves. I'm really cranky if I don't get my sleep, so carrying them back to bed is so not an option for me :)

When we are going through issues at bedtime I promise my daughter choc milk in the am if it is a pleasant bed/night time. I am a single mom and her dad started the choc milk at his house, which I wasn't happy about, but I've been able to use it for some good.

Does he have a night light? What about a white noise machine? Try either of those things. If they do not work for your child (it worked for one of mine but not the other)try the follwing. My 7 year old has never slept through the night...since birth! He still somes into our room but he know he is NOT allowed in our bed until after 6am. So sometimes he will sleep in our chair or on the floor. He stays in his bed longer than he used to once we let him surround himself in pillows to sleep. So if your child is clingy and needs lots of hugs (pressure on his body) try that. Also, if he is in his own room, see if your 7 year old wouldn't mind sharing a room with him for awhile to see if he is just seeking the comfort of someone else there. Good luck.

My brother solved this problem with his kids. They all had their own rooms, but every night the parents woke to find their own bed over run with kids. So.....they doubled the kids up in their rooms. One room has bunk beds the other has 2 twin beds. The kids now share rooms and surprise....they don't come in to Mom and Dad's room anymore. Don't know if this is an option for you but it worked for my brothers family. Good luck!

LOck your door. Or his. He is old enough to understand. A night light?

You need to stop giving his excuses for being in your bed. There is no reason he should be in your bed. He's not afraid of the dark or anything else, if he can walk the house in the middle of the night he's not afraid. (if your afraid of a snake do you walk around them)You need to dedicate a start date and take him back every time he comes in your room at night. Don't give in one time. If you do than he will know he will finally break you and you will give in he just needs to keep it up. Don't yell and scream just go why are you up everyone is sleeping. Here let he help you and pick him up and bring him back. Do that repeatedly. Don't give up he will conform. Children will conform to ANYTHING you do over and over they have no choice.

I would look at your life and see what might be bothering him. Have you been through nay recent changes? Are there changes on the horizon? Has there been extra stress for him at home or school? It might be easier to modify his behavior if you understand what is causing it.

Hi, here's what's worked for me and others.. It can work if you're religious or not, it just needs modification.

If you're religious have your child ask God/Jesus every night to make a circle around him for protection and to stay with him in his circle. Tell your son that when Jesus makes a protection circle, nothing can come indside of it. I learned this trick when I was young and it worked very well for me. It gave me a very real sense of peace and safety and I was able to conquer my fear of the dark and of being alone in this way.

If you're not religious, you could tell your child that he has the power to do it himself. That we all have the power to allow no one and nothing into our special circle when we are afraid. Have him imagine a circle around himself that nothing bad can come inside of. Also I would make sure that he has plenty of "company" in the way of stuffed animals. My son sleeps with a veritable army of them. They are all his friends with made up personalities, families and everything. This helps him to feel like he's not alone. My son is now six and he knows that it's just make believe, but he still treats his friends like they're real. Especially his special dog Gus who my son always makes sure is comfy and has a breathing hole when we're traveling anywhere. I believe that they invest part of themselves in these objects and it makes them true friends although they are inanimate.

And finally, when your son is feeling a little better about sleeping by himself, I would make it clear to him that he's a big boy now and since he doesn't have anything to be afraid of he can sleep in his own bed all night. I agree that you should let him know, gently, that it's hard on you when he comes to bed.

Best of luck!

HI K. ~

You need to be strong! One of the hardest parts of being a parent can be rule setting, discipline and the consistency that comes with that. Believe me, it gets harder on much bigger issues than this as they get older, so you need to set the precedent early on, or they will not learn that you MEAN what you SAY! They need to know exactly what is expected of them and that there are consequences if they do not follow the rules! You will save yourselves ALOT of heartache if you start early!

The other posts are correct in taking him back EVERY SINGLE TIME(starting on the weekend is great idea). Perhaps you could make his bed extra special cozy for him - get him a very soft comforter, fill his bed with comforting stuffed animals and a special pillow case of his very own. You can say to him that HIS bed and HIS animals will be lonely without HIM there! Get him a special night light to ease the dark room.

I wish you the very best! ~ K.

Consistency, consistency, consistency! You need to make it very clear to him that he has his own bed and he is to sleep in it from now on. If you have some sleepless nights, it will be worth it in the end. You may want to start this on a weekend when you and/or your husband don't have to wake up early for work. But, it won't work if you allow him to sleep in your bed for even a short period of time. Immediately, every single time, you need to take him back to his bed and tell him he needs to sleep in his own bed. Eventually he'll get too tired and fall asleep in his bed.

At least try putting a sleeping bag on the floor. And if/when he does come in tell him that he is getting to be such a big boy now that you don't all fit on the bed - so he has this special place to sleep if he needs. Of course I would keep carrying him back to his room and tough it out but if that isn't an option for your family - try the sleeping bag idea. You can always inch it closer and closer to the door as time goes if necessary.

my husband and I went through this with our daughter and had a really hard time deciding what to do. We didn't want to downplay her fears, but at the same time, we like to keep our bed as a "grown up" place. In the end we did what many of the moms here seem to be suggesting... just put a special place on the floor where she could quietly lay if she needed to. She always had to start in her bed though. We also got a more structured night time routine including prayer time.

My son did that too. He still occassionally comes into our bed at night but I can handle once a months instead of several times a night. We just decided to not make our bed so comfy for him. When he came in we used to just give him room to toss and turn. But when we finally totally got annoyed with it and we couldn't convince him to stay in his own bed and we could tell that he just wanted to sleep in our bed (he would say he was scared too and other excuses like bad dreams, etc)we stopped giving him extra room to toss and turn so he couldn't move so well, when he would roll towards my husbands side of the bed, he would wake him up to tell him to move over, if he would kick me in the back or whatever I would wake him up to tell him to stop, we wouldn't let him cuddle with the blanket. Finally he got to the point where when I asked him if his bed was more comfortable and if he'd rather be there he would say yes. But if he comes in our bed now once in a while with a bad dream or he just wants to sleep with us we let him we do cuddle him and let him stay occassionally. But he is just getting bigger now so there really is no way for all 3 of us to be comfortable in our bed and he is still 6. Good luck with it. I know how frustrating it can me and how tired it makes you.

I agree with the first poster. You have to stand your ground. Also, have you tried to tell him that what it does to you when he gets in your bed? I had to do this with my daughters. Even and 3 and 4 they understood. Don’t say it in a mean way, but something like... "When you are in bed with mommy I don’t sleep well because I am always trying to make sure you are okay. When you are in your bed I know you are safe and then I can sleep better." Let him know that you will all have a better day when he is in his bed. Another idea is to tell him that if he can stay in his bed all night he will get a marble, then when a small jar is full (you decide how many, maybe a week at first) that he will get a special prize.

The biggest thing that has worked at our house is to pray with our kids. Let them know that they are safe and cared for in their own beds and nothing bad can happen there. Its a place for wonderful dreams and peaceful rest.

I hope this helps.
Kimberly

I've been having this same problem with my 4 year old. She wakes me up more often than my 1 year old or 2 year old's do! What we do when she gets into a bad funk of doing that too often is start an incentive program. She and I talk about something that she wants (a trip with just Mom for ice cream, new earrings, or a trip with Dad to Chuck E Cheese) and then she can have that when she gets three "X"s on the white board in the kitchen. To earn an X she has to stay in her bed all night (or at least not wake us up when she gets up to go to the bathroom). When she does stay in bed the first thing we do in the morning is let her write the X on the white board. When she gets three X's we are sure to give her the reward that very day. It usually takes two cycles of this for her to get back into the habit of staying in bed all night.
That's what works for us. Good luck!

We don't really have this problem, but I know many people who do. I've heard of some moms putting a light and a clock in the kids room. Telling them that they should stay in bed until the clock says 6:30 or whatever...

Also, the reward system. If they stay in bed all night they get a star and when they get a certain amount of stars you will take them somewhere or let them pick something out of a "treasure box".

good luck!