How to Get Silent Night Back in My House

Having to remake a bed in the middle of the night always woke me up too thoroughly to get back to sleep, so when my daughters were little we used to double sheet the bed - 2 layers of waterproof mattress pads and sheets - then if she threw up or peed in the bed, we'd strip off a layer and dump it in the bathtub with water, then immediately be able to all get back to sleep.

If that's still too much trouble, then put him back in diapers and don't make a big deal of it. He might be acting out because of the baby -- or just sleeping too soundly to wake up and go to the bathroom.

He is probably looking for ways to get attention. He hasn't fully adjusted to not being the only child and he may feel left out. No matter how much you try to give him attention he is used to all of it and now he is not getting it. Sometimes even bad attention is attention to a 3 year old. My oldest and middle child are 5 years apart and he went through some of the attention getting behavior as well and my middle and youngest are exactly 2 years apart and my middle daughter wanted to be held and rocked to sleep again,etc(something she hadn't wanted for about a year) once the baby was born. Give him as much good behavior attention as possible and ignore the bad behavior (no attention for misbehaving) see if he does it less.
I'm sorry that I can't offer advise as to how to fix the bed wetting problem... you threatened putting him in a diaper so you need to do it. At least for one night otherwise he will learn really quick you don't mean what you say.
As for getting him in bed on time. I would make sure he gets some qaulity one on one time with you or your husband right before bed time and during the bed time routine. Tell him that you will have (whatever you schedule...snack,bath, pjs, teeth brush,story,tuck in) and that is it. He may get up to go to the bathroom once after tuck in if needed but he will have to do it himself and back to bed. No more tuck ins,kisses, etc. Go back to the let them cry it out concept. Fighting with him to get to bed everynight is letting him get his way. As he starts to get to sleep quicker and quicker on his own then he can start getting closer and closer to his regular bed time. You can explain this alittle on his level.
Hope this helps:)

"Other than the baby there have been no major changes..." For a 3 year old having a sibling is one of the most significant changes that can happen in their young lives. Most kids that age are acutely aware that they are no longer the center of their parent's attention and it will take a while for them to understand and adapt to the changed family dynamics. A regression in behavior is perfectly normal and to be expected. Many kids react with changes in sleep pattern or regressions in potty training.
Some things that may help him settle sooner rather than later: talk about his emotions about him (he may be anxious or jealous), involve him in the care for the new baby as much as his skills allow (most 3 year olds can hold the baby while sitting down, under supervision, bring you things for the baby, maybe even gently put on booties or a hat), make sure you get some alone time with him every day (maybe when the baby naps...) and see that he gets enough exercise, even if the last thing you feel like is going outside with a newborn... check out some indoor playgrounds or community centers.
I believe that it is really important that you use more understanding than discipline in this case - how you handle the situation can have a lasting effect on his relationship with his sibling.
Good luck.

I have to agree with everone else, it is the baby. Your son was the center of attention and now he has to learn to share and the hardest thing to share is parents. The baby sounds like it is your room not her own so that can be perceived as favoritism from his point of view. Like others have said make sure you have special time just for him to let him know you still love him and that he is important, still take him to playgrounds and such, baby sister can be bundled up for a trip outside. As to the bewetting, save yourself the hassel of dirty sheets and clothes and get some overnight pullups and don't make a big deal out of it, a pullup just becomes part of the bedtime routine. His new sister wears diapers and doesn't get any flack for it so why can't he (might be his perspective). Get a plastic mattress protector if you haven't already for those nights he wants to try to wear underwear. My 8 yo boy still wears pull ups and my 6 you girl never has so each kid is different. Congrats on the new baby and good luck on all of the new changes that are/will be happening.

I agree with the other posters that having a 2 month old sibling is a huge change for a 3 year old. Also if he is now going to bed earlier, you might try waking him up a few hours later to have him go to the bathroom.

I would not threaten him with diapers, as I think negative reinforcement rarely works when it comes to this kind of thing.

I just wanted to add my daughter has had sleep issues for the past few weeks maybe a little longer - she's just turned 4 and there isn't a new baby.

Anyway what has worked for us is putting her to bed early - but every now and then she will fight - or rather procrastinate the later she goes to bed the more she wakes up in the middle of the night.

K.,

The new baby is the reason for the bed wetting and the overall regression in his behavior. It happened with my 3 1/2 year old when his sister was born as well. We didn't have him potty trained though (another previous regression issue). For now I'd say let it go, put him back in diapers at night, and make as little to-do about it as possible.

What we did with him, he's now 6, was make sure he goes potty right before he climbs into bed, then again first thing in the morning as soon as he gets up.

Remember too that he's had 3-3 1/2 years of Mom and Dad all to himself and now suddenly there's this squalling, noisy, *thing* that is taking mom and dad's attention away from him. Thus the regression, to get that same attention. I'm willing to bet if y'all can set aside special time for just him when the baby is sleeping, or maybe one on one time out of the house that the regression will reverse.

Hope this helps,
Melissa

Oh, and for the bed time thing he's testing boundaries and winning. Check out Super Nanny's back-to-bed routine.

Hi K.,

I think that's great that he potty trained so young for you. My son also was potty trained early but I still kept him in a pull-up at night until just recently and he's 4 1/2. They just sleep so soundly at night, so it's not their fault. Weighing the options I think it would be easier to go with the pull-up then not get sleep :)

If you have moved his bedtime, you should also reduce his liquids beforehand..like a half hour to an hour earlier, no more drinks. Change the order of getting ready to include at least two potty stops before bed. Once at the beginning of the "process" and once before going to bed. I would expect two hours after he goes to bed at this point he probably does have to go. At 3.5 he will have control issues now and again. Maybe something is making him anxious. Get him a physical to rule out any problems. My son was a bedwetter, as was his father..and his father grew out of it but turns out my son was diabetic. Nothing wrong with using pull ups..just don't call them diapers...he isn't a baby..and it is common for boys especially to go through a "bed wetting phase" from what I understand about it anyway. It's frustrating, but teach him how to change himself while you are changing his sheets. Also teach him that he can get up and go potty any time he wants to, as long as he goes back to bed when he is done. That was a big help for my son at that age. You will still lose a little sleep, but if you can get him into the habit of going potty when he wakes up and then going right back to sleep you might fix this and make him a little more independent in the process. As long as there is nothing physically wrong, and nothing bothering him then you should be able to start him toward "going potty" independantly. You might even want to start by getting a potty to put outside the bedroom door. The closer he is to his bed the closer he is to getting back to it when he's done. Make sure the path from the potty to his room isn't too interesting. Nothing for him to grab and play with, or hold his interest too long. If there is, at first you will be up with him so just blow off interest. Act as sleepy as you feel..don't make it a lot of fun. Don't say a lot. Simply say "Mom is too tired to play..". He needs to start learning that mom and dad need sleep etc too. Kids don't know what we do when they are sleeping and when they learn we aren't always in bed when they are..they want to know more. I'm not quite awake yet myself so I hope that all makes sense LOL.

Hi K.,
I have a very similar situation, with the exception of the bed-wetting. I have a 2 1/2 year old boy (not yet potty trained) and a 7-week old girl. My son has lately also been dragging out bedtime and will yell for me or daddy for 30 minutes to almost 2 hours the other night! I finally decided to try a reward system to encourage him to just go to sleep, so I give him a special sticker to put on a calendar in the morning if he has gone to bed and has been quiet once we close the door. It's working!

well, I think he's wettinghte bed becasue he is upset about the change in your family. INstead of "warning him" I think it's important to let him know that it's okay to have accidents, but you know that he's a big boy now & will be able to not wet his bed again soon. I think it may help to do something extra to make him feel like he's getting more attention, something special just for him. Maybe mom & him only time. But it seems pretty normal, he just is asking for more attention because he needs alittle more with a new baby in the house. Congrats on your baby!

Ina & Jessica have hit the mark. Your son is having trouble adjusting to new baby and his perceived lack of attention. My son went through a brief adjustment when we first brought our daughter home...he was 2.5 when she was born.

There is no rule of thumb for how long it takes to adjust, but it seems that your son will benefit from realizing his role of big brother. Think of things that he can do that his baby sister can't and make a big deal about him being a BIG boy. That includes big boy undies and big boy beds.

Figure out how he can help you out with the little one. Make time just for him (yes, I know you're a busy mama). He just wants your reassurance and attention.

Both my kids may have periods of bed-wetting when they are going through growth spurts. Although, as they get older, it happens less and less.