Toddler Still Wetting His Bed! How Do We Get Him to Stop!?

Hi T.,
My son is now 10 but I had a lot of problems with him wetting the bed at night also when he was 3 & 4. What worked for me was I limited what he drank. For instance his bedtime was at 9 pm and I didn't let him drink anything after 7 pm except for a couple sips here and there. I would only let him have a very small drink before bed and make him go to the potty too. I would also make him wear pull-ups at night and I explained to him that when he would wake up for a certain amount of mornings with a dry pull-up then we could get rid of the pull-ups. Once I started this routine it didn't take very long at all before he quit night wetting. Every once in awhile after he quit night wetting he would have an accident, and that could have been because he went to bed at a later time, and to tired to wake up. I also left the bathroom light on and still to this day the bathroom light is on every night. Hope this helps.

D.

Dear T.,

Greetings! How about trying a daily activity of your child drinking from a straw? Sucking (with the straw) could help with bladder control.

You could learn more about the benefits of using a straw from seeking further information at Handle.org

Good Luck!

Hi T.. I have a 4 yr old boy that has been potty trained since almost 3 yrs old, but still wets the bed at night. I've read and heard from doctors that the actual development for everything related to potty training doesn't always fully develop until 4 or 5 yrs old. Anything before that for an undeveloped system is usually trained, but not necessarily understood. So, as far as night time goes, I STRONGLY advise not rewarding too heavily for dry mornings, as they child can't help it at night and gets discouraged and embarrassed about accidents.

I have, however, noticed that when we get to bed late or have missed a nap etc, he's more likely to wet (probably too tired to get up). A good night's sleep won't always lead to a dry morning, but it's more likely. Also, we leave the bathroom light on all night to encourage him to get up.

One last note. Chiropractic care for bed-wetting kids is huge. If the child is under that age of full development, he'll definitely benefit throughout the development. 100% worth a try as I've seen so many kids helped through this problem at my Chiropractor's office. Older kids have been "cured" and I am so glad that I have him on my side as my son grows through this tough time.

T.,

This is one of those wonderful, grit your teeth, smile through them, and say "Congratulations, you're developing normally" moments! It's really hard, I know.

You probably have a combination of a very normal regression when a child experiences a great transition or stress. Yes, in most cases, that might have been when the new baby came, but in yours, you were on bedrest and so you were unavailable to be the "normal" Mommy in so many ways. I'm sure you probably did more than was probably healthy for you to try to make that as easy as possible for him--ALL mothers do! ;)

But still, it was a big change for him, no matter how it actually was handled--he may have been worried about you as well as about how it would affect him.

Still having this a year later? Well, you also still have a young sibling and everything is still kind of in flux for the first year or so--could be longer, there isn't really any time table that all kids follow exactly. ALSO, you have some powerful changes at around 4 years old that are at play here too. This is a transition for him developmentally at least as big as 2 years old. I actually nicknamed 4 "the adolescence of childhood" because it is exactly the same kind of separation vs connection time of stretching mental and physical capacities for autonomy and it can all be overwhelming.

Night time bedwetting isn't all that uncommon at this age, even if he was perfectly dry before that.

Just keep doing what you're doing. See if you can find ways to help him be more in control of his life in other ways, and notice when it happens. Do your very best to stay positive with him--after doing the "Congratulations, you're developing normally" thing with my three daughters at this age, I put MYSELF on timeout to give myself a minute to regroup and come back out smiling and relaxed.

It won't last forever...I promise!

Fiora

Hi T.!
I can definately relate!!!! My 7 year old daughter STILL wets the bed several times a week. We use a "wee-wee pad" on her bed. you can get these at most dept stores. I got ours at Fred Meyer.
You can try stickers on a calander whenever he has a dry night, and you can suggest that after he gets, say 10 stickers in a row, (you can decide the #) he will get a prize. Then take him to his favorite store and let him choose a toy.

This bribery technique has variable results though.
1. you have to keep buying things for him every time he accumilates the required # of stickers
2. After you are tired of purchasing several toys through this process, he may become used to you buying things for him all the time, creating a materialistic child. Then when you suddenly stop, he might start wetting the bed again.
3. I've heard that there may be medical reasons that children do this. (I've never asked a dr. personally, but I did look it up on the net.) Boys are different than girls. Some kids just sleep harder than others and their bladder doesn't wake them up at night when they have to "go."

We also limit the amount of liquid our daughter has after dinner, and I also wake her up between 1-2:00am and make her go to the bathroom even if she says she doesn't have to go.
I hope this helps!

Is he maybe a bonafide bedwetter? I think it would be a good idea to talk to a healthcare/child development professional about it. True bedwetters are not in control of what is happening. Behavioral interventions are typically not effective for kids with this issue (unless you can consistently wake him up in the middle of the night to empty his bladder). I think it would be helpful find out if it is a physical or environmental cause in order to determine the best way to resolve the problem. I was a bedwetter as a kid and I hated it, but NEVER did it intentionally. Waking up in wet cold pee is, to say the least, uncomfortable. If it is regression, it seems like it should have gone away by now, unless there is another issue bothering him -not the new baby. I hope that makes sense - sort of rule things out until you know what is at the root so you can take action and stop the insanity of so much laundry!! That's an old joke in my bedwetting family, hope it helps to laugh, too.

I was reading other responses, and I forgot about the wet pads under the sheets and limiting liquids 1 or 2 hours before bed, the other methods we also employed. Good luck.

Well, I had the good luck to have two children who were potty trained by the time they were 4 years old, with no regressions when the younger one was born.

What I would like to say though, is that I was very concerned that my kids would have a difficult time, based on my own history. I was a chronic bed-wetter almost until I reached high-school. My parents tried everything, from taking me to the doctor for many horrible tests to ridiculing me in front of my friends. They didn't have pull-ups or adult diapers when I was growing up, so I was never able to experience sleep-overs with my girlfriends until I was in high-school. As it turned out, there was nothing wrong with me, other than the fact that I was a VERY deep sleeper, and could not wake myself up to use the bathroom. I can remember having to be shaken to get up in the mornings (I am still NOT a morning person). As I got older, as is normal, I started sleeping lighter and I stopped the bed-wetting.

I would have to say that those memories are some of the worst I have, and when I became pregnant with my daughter, I promised myself that I would not do what my parents did. I know that my parents love me and they were doing the best that they could, but it wasn't right.

I guess my point is that it is not your son's fault, or your fault, that he is a bed-wetter. It's no-one's fault. Yes, there could be a medical reason for it, or maybe it is stress-related, but chances are, it's not. From what I have learned, it is a more common problem than what most parents think. Don't let it stress you out. In a situation like this, it is always better to affirm the positive rather than focus on the negative.

I don't mean to imply that you would treat your son the way I was treated, but how you handle it can affect how he feels about himself in the future. I know because I have been there.

The main thing is to have patience, and let him know that you love him regardless. Keep doing what you are doing. It will stop.

Happy Anniversary!!!!

I agree with Jamie. I too was a bedwetter as was my nephew. My DD has bed-wetting issues now. I just get her up a couple of times a night to go potty. I try to help her be successful.

I got rid of the pull-ups at 3 y/o and covered her bed w/a zip on vinyl cover and then a mattress cover between that & the sheet.

Most nights getting her up to go potty before we go to bed (and an hour after she goes to bed) is enough to carry her through a few hours. Other nights it's not.

We don't make a big deal out of it. If she wets the bed she pulls the sheets and puts them in the laundry. Then I put sheets on while she's in preschool, so there's not a lot of time and attention paid to it.

IF your son is doing it as an attention thing, taking the "hype" away from it may help. If it's physiological taking the 'hype' away will help his self esteem. I've been there it was a very painful time in my childhood and no one tried to help me be successful. That's why I make such an effort to help my DD get up at night to go.

Best of luck!
C.-WAHM of 4 y/o virtual twins