How to Get 3 Yr Old to Eat

Have her "help" you with making meals. My daughter wouldn't even try meatloaf, but after she helped me make it (hands in it to mix it up and all), she tried it and liked it. Get her involved - have her get stuff out of the pantry. Get her a stool to stand on and wash hands, mix eggs - almost anything that doesn't involve a knife. Kind of messy and a little more time consuming but you are spending quality time with her and she is learning about cooking - something most kids love to do.

My 3 year old is like this a lot too. I just tell her that I am not a short order cook. This is what I made for dinner. You can choose to eat it and have dessert or you can choose not to eat it and you will have it for breakfast tomorrow instead. She is stubborn, but eventually she has to eat something.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing and you just need to stick with it. If they fall asleep before they eat, you just hope they wake up hungry. A child will not starve themselves to death and will eventually eat. Keep offering healthy foods to her. Good job withholing snacks, but maybe offer a plate of healthy choices which include healthy snack "side dishes"-- for example, offer her pizza with grapes and yogurt and maybe she'll nibble at something on the plate. She will think SHE made the choice of what to eat and you win because no matter what she picked it was all healthy.

On a side note, I used to just make those kid foods for my 2 oldest ones -- mac-n-cheese, hot dogs, chicken nuggets, pb&j.... and when I was pregnant with my 3rd child, a stomach virus went around in our house-- everyone else got it for 24 hours, but my oldest wasn't able to kick it for nearly a week. After blood and urine tests to rule out anything more serious, his doctor basically said he was unable to fight off the virus because his body was so unhealthy. Since then, we insist that the kids eat what we are eating for dinner and those "kid foods" for dinner are a treat rather than the norm.

Dear C.,

Please STOP. Stop making food a giant issue, in girls this is part of what can lead to eating disorders (yes, even at this young age).

Cook your meals, put her food out for the duration of the meal, if she eats, great, if not, oh well. No yelling, spanking, punishment, verbal admonishions, etc.... Give her two or three healthy snacks each day (a serving of fruit, trail mix, etc) and again, if she eats great, if not, oh well.

When she complains, treat it very matter of fact with no emotion "this is what we have, sorry if you don't like it".

Your daughter will be eating within a few days once it no longer becomes a struggle. At that point you may (or may not) want to try something I did. Each month my kids had two buyouts, they could trade dinner for a PBJ sandwich and piece of fruit. Not all people like all foods, and with a houseful of people it can be difficult to please everyone, so everyone had the oportunity to bypass a couple of meals they didn't like.

I agree with Tammy.
You're doing the right things.. but maybe offer her some "choices" at mealtimes. Not different from the rest of the family perhaps, but several items, not just one dish (pizza; mac n cheese; PB & J). I NEVER give my kids ONE thing.. They always get 3. Sometimes more. They must eat a good portion of the main dish, and one side and a taste of the other.. they can usually choose which. But they are older and past the issues you are dealing with. Offer her several SMALL servings of something.. (If you are having cut up squash, put 2 bite sized pieces on her plate, and expect her to want NONE of it, but encourage her to try one bite only, she has to option to leave the other one).. THen the next time... maybe just let it sit on her plate... if she wants to have it great. If not... well.. she'll find SOMETHING on her plate to eat... right?

I found with my picky eater, that simply too much food on the plate is overwhelming. So make it simple and small.. If she wants more, you can always serve more after she requests it.

Don't let her snack but once per day (keep it healthy and SMALL and YOU control the schedule she receives it on.. don't let it become a substitute for her meals i.e, don't let her have the snack within 2 hours of a meal - usually 3 pm is a good time if she is up from any nap). She will eventually eat.. but if you give in and make her what she wants, she will just learn that if she waits you out, that you will give in... just like any other power struggle. If she has not eaten a large variety of foods already, then she may really not like them.. but only actually eating foods that have a variety of flavors/textures will help her LEARN to appreciate them.
My kids like plain foods (olives, cheese, cucumber, raw carrots, iceberg and romaine lettuces, berries of all sorts - blackberries, raspberries, strawberries, blueberries- grapes, bananas, steak, grilled chicken (no elaborate marinades).. etc. Even cereal dry, with no milk.. and not the sweet ones. Mine like cheerios, special K and frosted mini-wheats. Some kids don't like any kind of sauce (my daughter) AT ALL.. even BBQ on ribs, or melted cheese; some kids like to dip everything in something (ranch dressing or catsup). So try to figure out which way she leans. Offer her a small cup (I use those 3 oz bathroom cups sometimes) with a little dressing or catsup in it to dip in. You can even put yogurt in it to dip things in. If she wants, she can dip; or not.

Sit down for a meal. When she has eaten 3 bites (if you want to do use this option) from her plate she may be excused. Otherwise, she will sit until the meal is over.. then she can take her plate to the kitchen (where you will wrap it with saran wrap and refrigerate). Then she can go do whatever... when she is hungry (15 minutes later...) she gets the plate back.

I would think she will learn to eat a few things pretty quickly... it will be harder on you than her. But hang in there. And enlist the aid of your family.. they cannot undermine you by giving her snacks (or special food) or it won't work.

I hope this helps.

One other thing that helped me (I've got 4 and the 3rd is extremely picky. He's 4 now) is shapes. I got a small set of those tiny metal cookie cutters from Michael's. I use that to cut fruit, cheese, meat, etc. If it's in a fun shape, they'll more than likely at least pick it up to check it out. Maybe a nibble, maybe not. We let him suck his yogurt with a straw since that seems more fun to him. It's still a battle some days, but it gets better.
That method of holding out and offering only the dinner that you cooked did NOT work for my child. He went almost 2 days with nothing but water and still refused to eat the food. It was a losing battle on all sides, so I just let it go and gave him something else.
We also do breakfast for dinner sometimes. Little sausages or bacon, I make very small pancakes so they can pick it up and dip and a side of fruit. Muffins usually work. Get a mini muffin pan so they're smaller. Make regular food look like it's "special kid food" by having it in smaller sizes. You can cook meatloaf in muffin pans so each person get their own loaf. Arrange it on the plate to look like a face or shape. A julienne peeler makes quick little strings of carrots, zucchini, etc. You can use that as "hair".
It all takes a little extra effort that you may be lacking right new due to the newborn, but it does work. Hang in there!

Oh boy, separate meals???? Please stop doing this. You are allowing your child to manipulate you. As you can see, preparing the separate meals is not working for you...or your child. Hot dogs, mac and cheese, pizza? Not exactly healthy food choices...for anyone at any age. Please begin preparing meals for your family that everyone will sit down and eat together. If she refuses the meal, well, then you explain to your child that her next meal will be breakfast if she chooses not to eat her dinner. I'm serious...children will not die from skipping ONE meal a day. Also, do not pile a lot of food on her plate. It's best to put a little and that way they feel that they are in control of how much they will eat instead of piling a lot of food on the plate and feeling overwhelmed. I hope you cook healthy foods...veggies, wholesome meals. It's not too late to introduce healthy foods. Start now...start today. Good luck!..and tell grandma to stop giving her what she wants. She is too young to be dicatating what she will eat for dinner. She is being stubborn and defiant.

I have a 4 yr old little boy that does the same thing. We go back and fourth with the problem. When it gets bad, I break out the charts. He gets a sticker for eating each meal and at the end of the week he either earns a couple of dollars for his piggy bank or the dollar store. I also reward each finished meal with a cookie. Hope it helps.

Unfortunately, you can't really do much. I would give her one meal, if she eats great, if not she'll eat when she's hungry. My 2yr old is not a good eater, but we have never given in to trying several things to get him to eat. Some friends of ours did that with their oldest daughter, so we learned not to do that by seeing what they had to go through when they stopped giving her several options just so she'd eat. They learned their lesson too and didn't do it with their second daughter.......LOL.
Don't worry, she'll eat if she's hungry.

Have a talk with her and tell her that she's almost 3, and she's big enough now to eat everything you're eating. Give her whatever you're having at each meal, and she'll eat what she eats. Remember, children's appetites are the smallest they will be for their whole lives between the ages of 2 and 5. I have kids who are 3, 2, and 1, and they all go through periods where they don't seem to eat much at all. For example, my 3-year-old was barely eating anything for like 3 months (and only grew about 1/4 inch in height), and now she's eating like crazy, so I know she's having a growth spurt!

Don't give in, and she'll eat when she's hungry. Have set meal and snack times, and stick to them. If she doesn't eat, don't make a big deal out of it--it sounds like it's turning into more of a power struggle than anything. I always heard the expression, "You can't make 'em eat, and you can't make 'em go the bathroom!" It's true!!! Avoid the power struggles, or she may not even eat when she's hungry in order to be the one who has the control.

Best wishes to you--you have a LOT on your hands, especially with a new baby!!! You can do this!!!

This will take time because she's been catered to for so long and a new baby makes every kid stubborn. Can you make smoothies in the blender? My son is a picky eater but as long as he has drank his milk, I feel better when he doesn't eat much for 1-2 days. When he won't eat, he usually agrees to the smoothie. You can buy them ready made or throw some frozen fruit and milk/yogurt in the blender. It takes less time than cooking something separate and it's great nutrition. She might find it fun to help put the fruit in the blender. And remember, as long as she stays hydrated, she'll agree to eat something eventually. We don't fight over food because the more attention we spend on my son's not eating, the more he refuses. It's a HUGE attention getter so if he doesn't eat, I don't fuss at him.

I agree with Jayleen--don't consider this a behavior issue and punish or reward it. Be matter of fact--this is what we're eating, you may have some or not. A friend told me this great rule: you decide what is served, where and when, the kids decide if and how much they eat. If you only offer healthy options, the kids will eat a balanced diet--just more likely balanced over a week than a day.

Also, you should look up how many calories they need. You'd be surprised how little it is and how quickly they get it. Even more reason to make it healthy though.

I also agree that having 3-4 kid bites of everything on the plate helps. Too much can make them fussy.

And Sesame STreet came up with a great, positive way to deal with healthy food vs. desserts--healthy foods are "always foods" and treats are "sometimes foods." That way you can keep going with the matter-of-fact attitude, rather than punishment and reward.

Just hang in there and be consistent. It will take a while, but your daughter won't go hungry to the point of hurting herself.

The fight is not really about food. It's a power struggle.She's been getting her way, now she's not and she's not happy about it . There are very few things a 3 year old can control--what they eat is one of them. You are doing all the right things with serving the the same meal, no snacks etc. Keep at it. You've started this battle,now you must finish it--and win.:>) If you don't it will set the tone for all other "battles" in your home w/ her. She is used to getting what she wants so it may take a while. But be consistant,be sure EVRYONE feeding her is consistant, and "this too shall pass"! Blessings!
(My "credentials" are a mom of 4 strong- willed kids plus 1 very stubborn neiece(3 yrs.) who I keep.:>)

Hi. This is quite a predicament. I read your post and at first, my thought was I have the same problem. But you took the time to give her different things than what you and your family were eating and that is okay, at least I think so. But then, you said now you have a newborn, and you don't have the time to prepare different foods. I think it is completely okay to give them something else because you haven't taught "this is what you are eating",and I will say again that is okay. In retrospect, there is a newborn in the house, your princess isn't getting the attention she used to and now you can't make her meals separate. It is still possible to make her separate meals even though there is a newborn. I understand routine changes when there is a newborn in the house, however, your princess is only 3 and wouldn't understand the change. I guess I just ask for you to keep that in mind. Congratulations on your newborn. And I hope all works out well with your princess.

First off, stop the punishments. Leave healthy snacks around that she can get when she wants to. Yes, you can say not cookies because you didn't eat your dinner. That isn't punishment, it is a rule. The more you talk about food and fight over food, the less she will eat. My son goes through these phases as well and him eating sometimes controlled my life! I have set meals that I make for our family that I know he eats and likes. If he refuses those, he gets nothing else. I will leave grapes, watermelon, bananas out for him, but no junk food. If I'm making something for my husband and I that he has never liked and I know that, I make him a seperate meal. I don't believe in the idea that they are manipulating if they don't like something. Every human being has likes and dislikes. Just because they are 3 doesn't mean they aren't human! There is always a middle groud. I have found that if I ask my son if he wants a certain something, he will always say no. If I just put it on a plate where he can get to it, he almost always goes and eats it. Sometimes I let him eat in front of the TV, sometimes and I make sure we all sit and eat at the table together. Whatever I do, I have stopped harassing him. "you need to eat", "why aren't you eating", you need to eat this or no TV". All of that is counterproductive.
All kids go through phases of eating a lot and eating just about nothing! Stop making such a big deal of it and she will eat when she needs to. It can't be all chicken nuggets and mac and cheese though. Everything in moderation. My son loves elbow pasta with meatballs, chili, hot sausage with black eye peas, lasagna and BBQ chicken. Anything else and I usually give him the perdue baked chicken nuggets with green beans or fat free hot dogs with steamed carrots. Of course he loves McDonalds too! Just try to find a middle ground in everything and it will work out! She won't starve, I promise.

I have six children and come from a family of ten I also assist my other syblings with their children long before I ever had any of my own, so trust me for what I'm about to say, This is normal for a middle child. she's feeling overwhelmed first of sll because of the new baby, and now she's in between. She'll be Ok, just leave some fruit on the table, and some heslthy snacks like peanuts and raisins or whatever she like that is healthy, she will come around. Also you need to take in consideration, she's not finish teething, sometimes when thier molders (back teeth) are comeing in, this is how they act. No need to worry, in these times God preserve babies because He knows how they would respond to their environment as well as growth adjustments.

P.:)

I feel your pain! I have a 21 month old and he's the SAME way! The things he does eat - PB&J, Mac & Cheese, Hot Dogs & Grilled Cheese. Sometimes I can get lucky and get a fish stick in him, but it takes coaxing and lots of ketchup! There is one thing he absolutely loves, FRUIT. Blueberries have a low sugar index, and are high in nutrients. Also - I have been sneaking veggies in by making my own juice with a juicer. No, the fiber isn't there, but the nutrients are - spinach, green beans, celery, carrots and an apple or pear - whiz them up and put it in a sippy cup (Bonus: there's usually more than a sippy cup's worth, so I can enjoy the benefits, too!) You can juice lots of things - but I usually stick to organic, since you "drink" the skins. He loves it because he thinks he's getting fruit juice (the carrots and apples/pears make it sweet)... Juicers are pretty cheap now, you can get them w/a coupon at Bed Bath and Beyond or Macy's (where we got ours - $100)... it's worth it in my mind, and it's relatively easy cleanup. :) I also make sure he gets Omega 3 vitamins each day (they make gummy ones he likes). I hope it helps - good luck!!!

My granddaughter would only eat salad and pop corn, sometimes a bit of cheese- and somehow- miracle of the universe -she is a straight A, very happy outdoorsy 12 year old- a self proclaimed vegetarian- honestly I have no idea how on the little bit she eats-- but we have just quit worrying about it- I think as long as yours doesn't eat sugar- it'll turn out fine. I totally understand, so I hope knowing about Alexandria will help you.
best wishes, gramma