Preschoolers Won't Eat Meals and Are Grumpy

First of all, give them back the PB&J. Peanut butter is packed full of protein. It IS good for them.

My first thought was just go ahead and give them some food! But the foods I was thinking of you named as things they won't eat. It amazes me that they won't eat chicken nuggets, pizza or spaghetti - those are usually kid favorites.

My only suggestion is to try to boost their vitamin intake with one of those supplement drinks. Hopefully they will eat that.

I definitely would not give in to the cookies/cake or all processed foods b/c then you'll have weight issues. Will they eat mac & cheese? You could get the individual ones you make in the microwave and see if they eat it any better if they get to make it. Also, those Chef Boyardee cans of ravioli, etc., are supposed to contain veggies so maybe let them eat some of those.

I am so sorry I don't have any wisdom for you. I've been blessed to not have had picky eaters.

I'd be curious to know what it is you're preparing that they won't eat. Healthy doesn't have to mean boring, or yucky. We eat healthy at home, and my kids have no problem with it. And they're junk-food junkies!!

At their age I hope they are helping you in the kitchen? This always makes them more open and willing to eat different things :)
Also, keep it simple. Most kids don't like sophisticated sauces and complex flavors, for whatever reason it turns them off. So if you are making chicken piccatta for example, put aside a few pieces of the cooked chicken for the kids before you add the sauce.
I don't believe in making a separate meal for children, but you CAN make the same food you are cooking for yourself more appealing to them by serving it in a simpler form. And a little pizza or bbq sauce on the side helps too, kids love to dip!

If you've been dealing with this for months on end, then your children are not the only stubborn ones. There has to be a middle ground that is "healthy enough"...apple slices, even if there's a little caramel. Baby carrots, even if there's a little bit of ranch on them. Cheese, even if it is yellow cheese. Have you tried fruit salad and seeing which items they pick out of it to eat? My daughter LOVES eggs and doesn't care much for pizza. She dislikes most healthy main courses and would gladly live on mac & cheese and chicken nuggets. However, she's fine with just a bit of that along with some red grapes, baby carrots, apple slices, blueberries, or strawberries. She likes to alternate beverages with her meals...milk, water, oj. She has a fair amount of repetition in her diet, but she enjoys some things out of every food group. I know it's not the IDEAL healthy diet, but I figure it's healthy enough for her to get the necessary vitamins and minerals without too much junk food.

I work at my kids' school.
I see how kids eat or not.
My BIG tip is: Make what your child WILL eat.
Making a home lunch cute or pretty or fancy, will NOT make them eat. EVEN if they are hungry. They will not eat... if it is something they do not like.
Do not "experiment" with home lunches, UNLESS you KNOW FOR SURE, that that is what your child will eat.
Even if it is the SAME thing everyday, if your child will eat it, fine.
My son, went to Preschool everyday with a ham sandwich. He ate. He likes it. Fine. He never got bored of it.
Then once home, I can feed them other things.

It is not true... that a child will eat if hungry. Because... EVERYDAY... I see kids who do not eat, EVEN if they are hungry, because they do not like what is in their lunch box.

Just make, what your child WILL eat and what you know your child WILL eat.

Because if not, they go all day without anything in their tummy... and they get low blood sugar, get lack of concentration, get grumpy, and irritable and ill behaved. Because, they have no food in them.

cooking healthy does not necessarily mean grown up boring food. you can make them chicken nuggest by making them yourself and baking as opposed to frying them. hot dogs can be all beef or turkey, sandwich can be lunch meat without being turkey lettuce and tomato you get my drift. at that age kids don't really like lots of sauces, etc. but a kid will eat a pc of baked chicken and noodles. a grilled burger is not bad for you unless you eat it every day. grilled cheese is good for you if you have it occasionally and not every day. my mom used to give us raw veggies w/dip or par boil them so they were slightly soft but still a little crunch. fruits out of a can are probably not as good as an apple with peelings but are still good for you and you can get the ones in water as opposed to the ones in the syrup. I have a 17 year old who still won't eat lasagne lol but he will eat spaghetti. cheese and crackers or fruit is good for snack.

don't make a huge deal and they will eat if they are hungry. it seems like they won't but if they are truly hungry they will. don't play into the whole fight. or they win. just put the food out. clean up after and when they are hungry say wait til snack and give them only fruits and veggies for snacks. tell them thats all snacks will be until they start eating dinner. but don't get into a screaming match just put it out and put it away.

what exactly are you trying to feed them?

my boys, 8 and 4, will eat just about anything I cook and I cook healthy meals the majority of the time ~ they do get pb&j, mac and cheese, nuggets on occasion. My 4 y/o's favorite meal is rice, green beans and a bbq'd chicken breast with a little bbq sauce to dip in. My 8 y/o could live on turkey wraps. I have a variety of fruit on hand at all times and they know if they want a snack they can have fruit. They'll both eat scrambled eggs any time of the day (which is good b/c we have 7 hens!).

Make a list of what they *will* eat, and not the premade, prewrapped stuff.

Then, make sure one of the things on your list of 'will eats' is on their plate. Then, serve the main dish that you've prepared. I usually have three things on my son's plate, and one if for sure something he's eaten happily before. "That's dinner."

I don't talk about it. Don't cajole or coax. What's on the plate is what's for dinner. I don't cut crusts off-- but you don't have to eat them either. "Eat up to the crust." is fine. When I served snack at my preschool and a child complained "I don't like that"... well, 'this is what we have for snack'. Said in a calm, very 'matter of fact' tone of voice.

My son loves mac-n-cheese, so I allow one box of it per week. He can eat it all at once (yikes!) or have a bit with meals. But ONE box per week. Allow the 'junk' food within moderation, and be clear about your limits. A small serving of pasta with olive oil and Parmesan is offered sometimes, too, but as I said, it's not cups and cups of it...there are other foods on the plate to eat too.

I might offend someone, but here goes: it's really hard to pack healthy lunches sometimes when sometimes other parents pack junk. It creates a food envy for little kids when they see their peers getting a cookie, chips, a piece of fruit or go-gurt and a sandwich and a juice box. Or worse, lunchables. Hell, those things don't look like food, they look like a present or an activity. I had to send home pretty clear directions with my preschool families that NO sweets were allowed: fruit was fine, but no yogurts, go-gurts, cookies, etc. It was a good choice for us and the children ate their lunches.

Keep serving reasonable meals, J.. I'd also suggest NOT packing a treat in the lunch. Very simply explain "You are not eating your lunch, you are filling up on treats, so I'm not packing them any more." Have one or two treats on the weekends, but no desserts during the week. Make sure they are getting things that look good, too: a ploughman's lunch of hardboiled egg, whole-grain bread + butter or some whole grain crackers, cheese and apple slices--throw in a carrot with some peanut butter....

Remember that adult 'healthy' and children's healthy are somewhat different, too. They need healthy fats (black olives are great and a favorite), more carbs than we might choose, and good protein sources. I never make my son take a bite of anything he thinks is 'yucky', but overall, we have a pretty good eater. Also consider if the kids are exposed to advertising which promises all the foods they are asking for. Ad executives are savvy students of child psychology and KNOW how to entice kids to beg and nag for the junk food that's being advertised to them. Cut out the treats (except on weekends), offer moderate and balanced choices, and think about what their influences are.... eventually, they should come around. If not, time for a talk with the pediatrician.

Sounds like your kids hate the food you cook and would rather starve than eat it. Have you considered that perhaps you are too ridged in your food choices?

You say they will eat PB&J but you won't serve it. Sure it sounds like you are offering up choices that kids would like but I would bet you don't fry the nuggets, do they even have breading?

Sorry but all kids prefer some foods over others but that they refuse everything you cook says it is your cooking. Perhaps too healthy?

Maybe you need to prepare food in a way that is more "junk like". Chicken should be chicken nuggets,(home made if need be) potatos should be oven baked cubes to look like fried potatos or french fries. I would try these kinds of things. I have a lot of the same problems with my kiddos, and so I buy the hormone free better made stuff from Trader Joes and Open Nature from Safeway. Its not as expensive as organic and better than nothing or junk.

If your little ones like pj&j from a box, why won't they eat a home made one if you cut off the crust or use a cookie cutter so that it looks similar? Can they help you make it and do it themselves?

It sounds like you are in a power struggle that you don't need to be..just bend the rules a little and I think you will do better. Kids need food, and even if its not YOUR ideal, they have particular tastes and most of the stuff that is healthy is not yummy to a kid. I had to break it to you. Do you do little things like put butter on cooked veggies? Salt and pepper? Parmesean cheese? Do they have a particular sauce like ranch or bbq that they like? Let them dip whatever they want to in it. Do they need to have everything separated instead of mixed together? Talk to your kids and let them help you plan some meals and see what happens. Good luck!

I am a tough love mama when it comes to food: you only want pre-made snacks and the WHINE for them... I won't buy them anymore. At all!
I have an almost five year old, who is generally a good eater... but I have definitely been there... she goes through phases where she will try to get away with sticking to junk food... so we have a totally junk food free time for a while and she adjusts.
Your kids are old enough for some tough love when it comes to food. First of all if they are growing, they MUST eat some of what you make. Pick the healthiest choices of what they do eat and serve them frequently. It might seem boring and one sided to you, but that doesn't matter.
Stop trying to cater to them and wasting all that food and energy. They get served whatever you eat and if they are cranky because they don't eat, they can be cranky alone in their rooms. Period. No if's when's or but's.
Want to go to the park? Better eat your lunch! Birthday party? Better eat your lunch! and so on.
They WILL eventually eat, my hunch is that you end up eventually giving in to their demands for packaged food, because you are worried they don't eat enough and are sick and tired of the crankiness... well if you don't have that stuff at home, not even for a treat, you cannot give in and after a few days, they will get the message.
You simply have to be more stubborn than them.
Good luck.

"You name it. Shrimp. Chicken, Rice. Eggs. soup, pancakes. Veggies any way, lasagna. Nothing that's cooked, will they eat!"
Blech...I wouldn't eat that at school either! Lunches around here are often sandwhiches (peanut butter, ham/cheese, turkey/cheese, chicken), fruit, and a vegetable (carrots usually or cucumbers). I throw a sprinkle of chips and a big glass of water. During the school year it's usually the same thing.
Have you tried different breads? Mine like the hawaiin bread, "subway" bread, kaiser rolls. Even pita bread! I always always always make sure to throw in some fruit and veggies.
Mix it up.

Have you tried cooking with them? Or watching a kids' program about food? Even Cookie Monster eats carrots now. My DD will soak in information. I've told her that cooking is like science and her eyes got wide. She loves science. My DD won't eat sandwiches, so I just give her a deconstructed one. What do I care that it's in the right order?

Also, are meal times a fight? Or do you simply say they can be removed from the table and do not get a snack? I would honestly stop buying treats at all. Even the PB&J. Can't fight about a box that isn't in the house. Have them help you pick out food at the grocery store and if they fuss, say, "No, that's a sometimes food and you don't eat the good healthy food first. If you start eating healthy food, you can get sometimes food...sometimes."

If they'll eat uncooked food - what does that mean? Crackers? Tortillas? Cheese? Yogurt? Fruit?

Okay you are going to have to stop buying ANYTHING pre-made or pre-packaged...do not buy any at all...I know it is convenient for you when you are out and about...but it is ruining your kids for the real homemade thing.

School lunches...my kids take the same thing everyday...pb&j (one child with jelly, one child with honey), a can of 100% fruit and veggie juice blend (no sugar added as juice has enough all on its own), a piece of fruit (one child takes a whole apple everyday and eats it off the core...the other takes a different fruit every week), one child will take a low sugar organic yogurt, the other doesn't like yogurt...and a graham cracker for dessert. EVERY single day...they don't like change and have informed me the school lunches are GROSS. So, find a lunch they will eat and fix it and send it everyday.

Dinner...at our house we will have fish twice a week, chicken twice a week, pork once a week and vegetarian twice a week. They know they will always get fish, chicken, pig or a pasta and are expected to eat the protein. I do let them have a serving of ketchup with the meat (no high fructose corn syrup in it). We have two vegetables every single night...they wouldn't eat them at first but I promise after the 12th to 15th time they will try it and find out it isn't too bad. I also serve a green salad every night...I change up what is in it and they can pick through it like a treasure hunt. There is no dessert unless I purchased fruit and make a small fruit cup.

They always know what is coming breakfast lunch and dinner...mom makes it and eat it or go hungry there will be another meal later.

At birthday parties they have cake...or cookies at grandma/grandpa's house...they get plenty of "treats" just not usually by me or on a regular basis.

You keep the meals healthy and they will finally eat it...you just cannot have any alternatives...or they will hold out for it. Good luck!!

so what did they actually eat today or yesterday..they must be eating something to stay alive..

if they really eat that poorly.. maybe a pediasure drink to get some vitamins minerals in..

If they won't eat what is cooked, what about stuff that isn't (not premade snacks) but yogurt, graham crackers (with peanut butter), slices of cheese & fruit. Fruit is pretty sweet. Maybe put out stuff for snacking that is healthy? Perhaps it is the way the meal is set up as much as the food choices. My daughter will snack on cucumbers and yellow peppers if they are put on a plate before dinner. She also likes to dip things in honey mustard dressing. She takes bites of food if daddy shares with her. Just some ideas.

We also have a minimum amount of "real" food required for dessert (not great, but it works). Talk to them about why it is important they eat healthy food, and ask them what healthy foods they would like.