How to Conquer Fear of Pee Pee

Good grief, the child is NOT READY. Potty training should take about one day when the child is ready. MOST KIDS aren't ready til 3/3.5, especially boys. Parents get trained and battle and clean accidents for months and years and brag that their kid is "trained". Please just calm down and WAIT.

He's not ready yet.
Stop trying for a few months and then try again.
One thing people over look is - they got to want to - and if they don't you get into a power struggle.
In the mean time let him watch family members use the toilet - let him flush for you and let him get use to the sounds it makes.
Eventually he'll be curious enough to want to try using it too.
Our son was trained at 3 1/2 and I let daycare take the lead on it.
They had tiny child sized toilets, the whole class went at the same time so it was something everybody did every hour, and one day he just came home and showed me what he could do.
I just had to follow up on weekends and since he was ready - it was easy and fast.
He stayed in pullups at night till he woke up dry for 2 weeks in a row and he was 7 1/2 before that happened.

31 month old? Why are you still speaking in months? He is 2 1/2 (or you could even say just over 2 1/2 if you really felt the need). When he is 5, are you going to call him 60 months old?

I feel like there is more to the story here. First, you state this is not your first attempt. Why were you trying to potty train so early? Surely you've read somewhere that generally boys are later to potty train. As soon as he was wandering off not interested in the potty, you should have stopped.

Second, it seems unusual that he would have such a violent reaction to feeling pee. Either you had an extreme reaction to an accident at one point in one of your "too early" potty training sessions or your child has a sensory issue. 2 1/2 really seems FAR too young to have the type of super-human urinary control that your son appears to have. I suppose another option is that he already has a UTI and is relating the pain to peeing.

I'd take him in to rule out a UTI, put the potty chair in the closet, and use distraction when he is running around screaming about pee touching him.

Look, I know it's frustrating, but you cannot control brain development. Even if most other kids lost a front tooth or grew 3 inches, would you force your child to lose his tooth sooner or grow faster? Of course not. Because it's not within your control.

Same with this. I think he's doing plenty of other things "ahead" of time. But 31 months is early for most kids, so what's your reason for being so impatient about this? Most kids don't start potty training until 3 years (36 months) and mine was well past the age of 4.

Stop insisting, stop making this a battle, stop making him feel so much drama around the potty. Put the diaper back on, tell him to let you know whenever he wants to try again, and go get out the Duplo blocks or the puzzles and have some fun with something else.

Massaging him to make him pee? Really? Helping him understand the "pee needs to come out"?? The pee comes out just fine - it just comes out in a diaper, as with every other 2.5 year old. Of all the tricks that you say parenting sites have to offer, perhaps you missed the one that says it's developmental and you cannot teach this.

How you get your child to not be afraid is to wait until he is old enough to figure it out. You're forcing him way too early and your obsession with it is just going to make this worse. If you don't want drama when he's 3, or 4, or 5, then stop.

He's not ready. Stop trying every trick in the book!!! You'll cause that UTI or extending of the bladder if you don't quit! Put his diaper back on and leave him alone about toilet training!

There are 2 things that a child can control in their little lives. Eating and toileting. Everything else is determined by all the big adults around him. If you fight him about toileting, you're going to lose. And you're going to create problems for him. Period.

Stop talking to him about it. Stop checking his diaper. You can tell when his diaper's full just by feeling him sit on your lap. When he stops feeling so stressed by your demands, he'll forget that he's peeing and just let it happen.

Wait at least 3 months, even 6 to introduce the potty again.

Take him to the pediatrician and get him looked at.

I only tried once - and like B, it was kind of when the daycare said they were ready. We were all on same page. So - I get why if you've been at this for a while, it's become a power struggle.

I would let it be for a while. I think otherwise it's just going to take longer.

We took a long weekend and went pantless (we even did no underwear for a morning or so in the very beginning) and have a potty right there, next to whatever they were doing. I literarily sat with them and just watched them for signs for a morning.

So there was no sitting on the potty waiting for it to come. The potty was not a big deal.

Playing with their trains, dollies, etc. was the focus. I just had them in underwear, would see that look on their face and I'd say - oh i think we need to go - PLUNK down on potty. I let them have an accident once, then they put it together. They got a M&M and a little Hurrah!.

The daycare was helping them the same week.

Mine had just turned 3. They did pee/poop/and overnight all at same time. I know overnight for some comes a lot later (developmental wise) for us it just happened - nothing I did, they just slept through dry. You can't force it.

Good luck :)

Usually it is pooping that kids freak out about. I think you should have your son tested for a urinary tract infection, especially since he is withholding going which can exacerbate the problem.

If there is no medical issue, then when your son is developmentally ready to potty train he will no longer be scared or anxious about it. My kids didn't consistently use the toilet without issue until they were just shy of 4 years old. Your son is a year and a half younger than that. My advice is that you stop pushing for the potty and you'll stop causing him stress.

Go to the doctor. You need to find out if something's going on, because only "releasing a little" while he's asleep when he's not even three doesn't make sense. Don't assume it's "will-power" - cause you don't have will-power when you're asleep.

It may be sensory, it may be medical, it may hurt when he pees. You need to rule this stuff out.

Don't worry about potty training him right now. My son wasn't trained till he was just past 3. It's his body. It'll happen when he's ready. But do get to the pediatrician and make sure something isn't painful.

I know it's hard to trust the advice you've already gotten, but you have to. They are absolutely right.

For now, stop talking about it. Just stop. Put a diaper on him in the morning, and change him if you think he's peed or pooped. Change him right before and after his nap, just before bed and whenever else you think he needs to be change. Don't talk about it. Just say, hey lets change your butt (or something like that).

He might still try to hold it for a few days, but if you stop talking about it and just change your focus, he will stop thinking about it.

Give him more time. My boys were closer to 4 when they potty trained, and it took very little effort on my part. Actually I had my youngest totally trained at 3 1/2 until he realized that in a world where he felt he had very little control, this was something he could control. So for about 4 months, back to diapers. It hurt my pride, for sure, but then I had to realize that this wasn't about me, it was about what my son needed. When he decided to start using the toilet, I didn't have to do anything except make sure I was attentive and took him to a restroom if he said he needed to go.

To me it sounds like he may have a UTI if he went running screaming when he peed on himself. Take him to the dr. Also stop trying to get him to potty train right now. He's obviously not ready. I know my friend had a lot of problems with 2 of her boys till she let them go outside and pee on the side of the house. I realize that might not be possible but it made it fun. Or put food coloring in the toilet or cheerios. My little one did not like the little potty chair at all it freaked him out. He would go though if I put the seat from the potty chair on the big toilet. But he knew momma, daddy and bubba used the big potty.

go to dr. rule out uti or other medical issues.
put the child in a diaper or a pullup and forget about the potty. when hes runnin around terrified about the pee tell him to just go, i live in the country, and if my son was outside freaking out about having to pee i would tell him to use it to water a tree. he found that funny... if he is ok with actually going in a potty then have him use the pee to "sink a cheerio" its a game to him but hes also letting the urine out.

stop potty training and trying 'literally every trick' in the book.

i'd be terrified to pee too if someone were bribing me, excoriating me and dear gods, massaging me to 'force the pee out.'

back.

off.

khairete
S.

He's not ready. Give it up for now.

Sounds like he's not ready...take a break for a couple of months and then try again.... Don't worry- he won't be going off to kindergarten in pull-ups!