How to Cancel?

let people know that you are canceling due to a death in the family. You do not need to mention gifts. If they bring it up, you can talk about it then.

Also, consider postponing it, and having a baby welcoming party instead.

I would simply say that its been cancelled due to a death in the family. Nothing more unless specifically asked. If it was me, I would be forwarding a gift to the mother to be anyway. I'd like to think that the guests would do the same especially given the unfortunate reason for the cancellation.

I hope you won't take offense to my response, and I recognize that I may not know all the details about your situation, but my immediate thought is this... I'd bet your grandmother would want your sister to go ahead with her shower. Especially if, as you say, she needs the things that she would likely be getting, and that people have probably already bought. I might talk again with your sister about not cancelling. Ask her if she thinks your grandmother would want her to cancel her special day because of her. I know my grandmother, and if your's is anything like mine, she would want the show to go on! Maybe since your grandmother passed so recently, you could have something special at the shower to remember her, kind of a tribute to her as well as a shower. I understand if everyone is just too emotional at this time to go through with the shower, but I'd really think about going on with it... your grandmother might like that. :)

So sorry for your family's loss.

If i were you I would just say that the shower is canceled because of a death in the family but you still believe that it is important to show your sister that people care about her too. So if they bought her a gift already then they are more than welcomed to give/send it to her. And then thank them for their understanding. Most people will still want to give her a gift because they care for her and our still happy for her.

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I would still have the shower. It's important to celebrate the new life your sister is having and I'm sure your grandmother would want that. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I agree with Lee P. My grandfather passed away a week before my brothers wedding. It was a sad time but I know that he would have not wanted us to change a thing and go on with the show.

What we did was have a pic of him and my grandma from the other side of the family placed in the church. Which was a nice memorial for them and we could look at them and remember all the good times.

Sorry for your loss.

Why cancel--unless the day/time is in direct conflict with the funeral arrangements. I say have the shower. Pay tribute to your grandma at the shower.

first, i am so sorry for your loss. i really do hope you will consider doing the shower, give your grandmother a lovely, happy time to look upon and watch - celebrate the pending birth of her great grandchild, a happy occassion such as a baby shower may be just the medicine you all need :) good luck with your decision.

So sorry about your grandmother. I would just do it, even though you're upset about your grandmother. Would she want you to have the party? Everyone will understand either way. If you really aren't up to it, don't cancel ---set a new date before you start calling people, so you can give them the postponed date, and don't mention gifts. If they can't make the new date, I'm sure they'll send the gift anyway.

I'm sorry for your loss. I really think rescheduling would be the best thing to do. However, I don't know the whole situation. What do you think grandma would have wanted?

Anyway, if you plan to cancel, call all the guest as soon as possible to inform them. Simply state "Unfortunatly, due to the death in the family, we need to cancel the baby shower." I would not mention gifts. If they bring up the subject, have a plan like I'll be home Saturday afternoon if you'd like to drop it off at my house.

She has chosen to cancel, even if everyone still thinks she should have it she has made her own choice. I think if you called me to let me know it was canceled due to a death in the family I would just give the gift at a later time when I felt it was appropriate. It stinks you are in the middle and at a time when you are mourning too. Tell them, if they ask about the gift, that they can call her themselves to find out about that. That way you aren't having to make this decision for her.

As for the phone calls:
"Hi, this is C., and our grandmother passed away and we are cancelling the baby shower for XXXX." When they ask about the gifts..."Oh, how kind of you to have bought her something, please just give her a call and ask her". If they don't want to bother her then you could suggest they drop the items off at your house.

Hello C.,
I have some different kind of advice for you from our experiance. With the death of my husband the family was hurting and not dealing well. We had a baby due and no one wanted to do it for concern that it might be to much.... Well I had it here and made it clear that this was important to honor Dad as well as the child he was so excited about. We even made it so that some of dads favorite things were part of it all. IT MADE the event special because it brought us together and we were celebrating a new life into our family and we knew it wa a good thing that my D. would have wanted.
If you are going to cancell just tell them it is postponed since there was a death in the family. Reschedual it until the baby is born and then she can get what she really needs for the sex of the child. Don't let this put a stop to the celebration and welcoming of a child.
It would be rude/tacky to ask for the gifts. Let the people decide or wait until the baby is born and give it. Then it is tier choice.
I am sorry for your loss. The only thing I can tell you in your grief is tat while you will miss her in this life there is family on the other side that are having a great family reunion to welcome her home there. I got the Precious Moments statue that said "There are no tears in Heaven, only here on earth",as a gift and the message really helped me witthe pain.

I can't think of a better way to celebrate life...especially after a death. It may be just what the dr. ordered for you and your sister. Honor your grandmother by celebrating life!

When friends on mine lost a Grandmother shortly before their wedding, they recognized her duirng the ceremony (the officiate spoke about her and her relationship with her grandaughter ... "the bride").

At the reception they had three chairs as one entered the hall with the names of grandparents who has passed away....the chairs were decorated very tastefully. I had never seen that, but it really touched my heart.

Dear C.,

I really like Janice’s response....however we don't know how close your sis was to your grandmother or how this has affected the rest of your family (your mom, you, aunts, cousins etc.).

If indeed it would provide a good diversion I'd say go on with the shower with the understanding that some family members would not be able to attend.

If the guest of honor (your sis) is feeling too sad to have the shower, simply get some help with phoning or emailing everyone to say: "Due to the loss of our beloved Grandmother, the shower scheduled for ____________ must be postponed until later notice. Please keep our family in your prayers".

Blessings.......

I went through this when I was pregnant. My grandmother died and my baby shower was scheduled for the day they scheduled her viewing and rosary. We still had the shower...it was a little sad, but it was good to get away from the funeral home atmosphere to celebrate a new life. Remember a life is never taken without having a new life to celebrate. Best wishes and God Bless

Definitely let guests know by phone. This will let them ask any questions like what to do with the gifts they've bought. They should understand that your family is grieving right now and that a shower is not something you guys can handle.

As the host of the party, it's completely appropriate to pass along the message from your sister that she would still really appreciate any gifts or well wishes. Gifts are given outside of showers, anyhow, so it's not weird for the invited guests to give gifts anyhow.

I do like the idea of a welcome party after the baby arrives - ask your sis if that would be okay. Most shower guests just want to come share their excitement and support to the mom- whether it be before or after the birth.

I am sorry for your family's loss. I fully agree with Denise P. I know you may not feel like celebrating at a baby shower but your grandmother would probably prefer you take the time to celebrate the new addition to the family. You could always reschedule rather than cancel.

I like the idea of having a welcome party. Your sister may change her mind once this black cloud has passed. She will be ready to clebrate baby soon. When you call let people know it's due to a death in the family but you are looking forward to celebrating with them once baby comes. The best part about buying a present is watching the person open it. If she doesn't feel comfortable having all those people around her new baby, she can get the in laws to babysit or you can just push the shower date out as close to the due date as possible.

I think you should still go ahead and have the shower and I think your grandmother would feel the same way. It's not about things, but about bringing people together to celebrate a new life. Maybe it will distract you from the sadness -- not detract, but distract. Good luck.

I agree that you should reconsider still having it, but of course you know your family situation and need to do what is right for your family's well being.

I bet anyone who has a gift already will bring it up and ask you what you should do with it. I know I would. I wouldn't mention the gifts directly, but just in the conversation you could say that you are sorry to cancel and you know your sister was really looking forward to the shower before this happened. And if there is anyone on the guest list that you are really close to, mentioning the gifts wouldn't be tacky for those close family and friends.

I also think the idea of having a welcome baby party for her later on is a good idea if you do decide to cancel the shower. If you think you will do that, you can mention it in the conversation and even mentioning the gifts in that circumstance wouldn't be as awkward as asking for them outright. you could just say that you are rescheduling it to a welcome party and hang on to any gifts til then, unless it something you would want her to have sooner. The beauty of a shower is that you are not asking for things for yourself, so it isn't as tacky. :)

I'm sorry for your family's loss.

The evening before a baby shower to be hosted by my aunt-in-law, she checked into the hospital and the initial tests were very negative. Within hours, we knew they were looking for cancer. I felt so awful when she demanded that the "show go on". I get teary thinking about it now 10 yrs later. But my MIL stepped in a played hostess and in the end it ended up being fine. There is something about a mom-to-be who is pregnant "out to here" and was tummy is visibly jumping with the baby's kicks that can bring a smile when before there was worries and tears.

Our aunt passed away 9 months after our son was born. No one loved that baby more and celebrated his life on a daily (even hourly) basis.

But I also like the idea of rescheduling it instead of cancelling it. Reschedule it for a date that is maybe 4 weeks after the expected due date and make it a welcome-home-baby-shower. The things she still needs are probably not things the baby will need in the first 4 weeks.

My two cents: let people know that the shower is cancelled (or maybe "postponed indefinitely") due to a death in the family. I think most folks would be understanding of the fact that your family might not be ready to pin down a new date for the shower now, and some might offer to deliver their gift any way (I probably would).

Since your sister wants to cancel then do it-be truthful with everyone and they will understand. This may be more stressful for your sis than she cares to say-sometimes quiet is the best way to handle life. Why not try to make a dqte when the baby arrives and then people can see the new member of the family too--be sure to see what works best for her and the baby. We recently had a shower and the poor mommy got sick right after the luncheon and couldnot stay to open her gifts-so we called in the daddy and he said sure which really was a hoot as men just don't know about all these things and what to do with them-this is their first so it was fun for all and mom got to enjoy later when she felt better...Sorry for grandmother passing-remember her life with strength and love.

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I agree with the others. I think I would still have the shower. If you decide to not have it on Saturday, I would seriously consider rescheduling. You could even have it after the baby comes as a sort of welcome. If you decide to just cancel it altogether, I would tell people the truth. Explain that your grandmother has passed and you and your sister have decided to cancel the shower. I don't know about gifts...I would think that most of the people would stop by to see the baby after he/she is born. They would most likely bring the gifts then.
I'm so sorry for your family's loss.

I would just call and let people know that there has been a death in the family and that at this time your family and that you will be canceling the shower. If you've decided for sure that you won't be rescheduling I would let them know that as well. But I would really try to talk with your sister about rescheduling if you know she needs the items she may have gotten. Perhaps right now she is just feeling a little bit too sad to think about it. Depending on how close she is, perhaps you could talk her into doing a post birth baby shower so that she has time to process the death and the new birth. Then let the people know when you call them that you will be rescheduling then. That way you don't have to ask people to send their gifts and people who have purchased gifts don't have to mail or return them. Plus, everyone loves to actually see the new baby :).

I am sorry for the lose of your loved one!! If you sis is ok with it. I would cancel. I would call or send out to everyone u invited. I would say Sorry for any inconvenance but, do to a death in the family we are going to cancel the BB shower. If you alright have a gift bought an would like for her to recieve it that is OK, but if you want to to return it that is fine as well.
You will be leaving it up to them what to do from there. Or reschdule it for after the bb is born. and tell them to hold on to their gifts

I'm not sure why you would cancel. Yes, this is a sad time for your family, but that doesn't change the joy of a new baby coming into the family soon. I also realize that you have a lot of activity right now regarding the arrangements for your grandmother. But... a baby shower usually takes about two to three hours out of one day. It may be a bit more somber than you had planned because of your family's feeling regarding your grandmother's death, but it can also be a good time of healing for your family as you celebrate the new life coming into your lives. As an older person... grandmother and great-grandmother... I am thinking how I would feel about family cancelling such a joyous event if I died just prior to it happening. I don't think I'd like that idea, and doubt if your grandmother would have either.
About a year ago, a good friend of ours was killed in an accident a week prior to a wedding scheduled in his family .... I believe it was his sister's wedding. His wife delayed his memorial service in order that the wedding could go on as scheduled, and she and her children went to the wedding and had a good time celebrating that important event in their lives. Nothing was taken away from the memorial for her husband in doing that, and she didn't have to feel that his death had spoiled a happy event for someone else.

So sorry for your loss. I agree with the posters below - you don't have to cancel. It's ok to keep on going with life.

And if you do cancel, just call everyone and they will completely understand that the timing is all wrong. I bet you that you will get questions about gifts and where to send them or drop them off so be prepared to answer that. I know that if I had bought a gift, I'd still want to give it. And you will probably be more bothered if you have to greet one person at a time with a gift then to just have the shower.

I'm so sorry for your loss. That is so hard. I would probably call all the guests, explain the situation, and tell them that if they would still like to bless your sister with a gift, that they would be so appreciated. You could offer to collect them at your house if that would be easier, and you would deliver them to her for them. I'm sure people will be very understanding. Most people want to bless the mother, and won't feel anything negative about there not being a shower anymore in light of the circumstances. If they don't want to give a gift, they certainly don't have to!