Is It Tacky to Have a Baby Shower for Baby #2? - Kansas City,MO

Girrrllll... I just threw a baby shower for my sister who is on her 4th. She has all the big items so I made it a diaper/essential shower. I think EVERY SINGLE baby deserves a baby shower in my opinion. If people don't like it, they don't have to come.

New baby = needing new stuff. Items get lost, worn out, or you have the opposite sex. Plus, celebrating a new life is the true point of a shower.

Yes every baby should have a shower and those who think otherwise are fuddy duddys. ;)

NO it's not! Every baby should be celebrated and showered in love! I would have lows to have one for my 2nd since it was 6 years between my 2 and different genders. I say go for it:)
Added for all he people who say you should have stuff after the first...yea sorry I didn't hang on to anything because we didn't plan on having anymore after my son. It wasn't til he was 4 we had even pondered the idea.

Hi S.,
I always thought it was tacky and then someone said something that really struck me and it was that every baby deserves to be celebrated. When I pondered that, I totally got it and changed my thinking. So I say that if someone that loves you wants to do this for you, be gracious and accept.

My SIL had baby 3 on the way. Baby 1 was born 10 years earlier and baby two didn't have a shower. Four years later, baby 3 was on its way. I threw a 'sprinkle' for my SIL and let everyone know that the parents didn't need the big stuff (although it sounds as if you do!) but would so appreciate the little stuff (burping cloths, bibs, etc. all the stuff that gets really grungy from one child to the next).

We had a high turnout and I don't think ANYONE there felt like it was rude or tacky to celebrate a new baby. Good luck and congrats!

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ETA... WOW, some really UNCHARITABLE responses on here! Do you throw a birthday party for your child each year?? Because I guess that could be viewed as present grab, right? Who cares about your kids birthday every year? I mean, it comes around each year! A BABY IS BORN ONCE.

To all the rude people who answered, did you even read the question? This lady clearly says that someone wants to throw her a shower and she never said she expects other people to take care of her child financially. Shame on you. No mother who gets thrown a baby shower is expecting guests to outfit their child. It's a celebration of a new baby and people like buying baby things. I'm going to assume that those few who had hateful things to say live lonely miserable lives and cannot stand that others are happy or loved.

I wonder if this is a regional thing?

We want to have showers for each baby, not as a give me a gift, but as a we are excited for you.

To assume a shower is some how a request for gifts is a bit uncharitable, like this mom is saying, she had no idea she would have another baby. I have read so many times in here how so many moms have unexpected pregnancies...I would think everyone would love to attend a shower for a close relative or good friend for each of her beautiful babies.

We never know what might come... In the future your own children or grandchildren could end up in this exact situation, you willing to purchase them everything they will need for their child?

To have such negative responses to a baby shower is very telling to me.
Start giving with your heart. Do not give or attend if you feel so ugly about it.

No, it's not tacky!

Enjoy your shower. Each new baby is special.

Yes...it's tacky.
Hear me out. A first baby...the parents have NOTHING and it's a huge life changer, house changer, etc. 2nd babies--you have stuff. It might not be all match-matchy new stuff but you have stuff.
And YES every baby "deserves to be celebrated" but not with gift-demanding invitations to a formal shower. Celebrate away. Invite moms, grams, aunts & your BFF to your dining room for lunch. Bet they bring a gift. Have a "Meet The Baby" open house, a "Sip And See" if you will. Bet those people bring gifts.
But a full blown formal "shower" with a registry 3 years from the last O.? Nope.

It used to be tacky and the old ladies tongues might still wag. But, like not wearing white after labor day, the rules have changed. The only people that will talk are the people that will talk no matter what you do, so screw em! Have a shower and invite only the people you know that love and support you.

I don't think it's tacky at all. Every baby should be celebrated. Also since you gave everything away, you will need some stuff. Have fun!

I have had a shower for ALL 3 of my kiddos!!! Two girls and a boy, Girls ages 9 and 5, Boy is 10 months old. I didnt not have anything. I didn't aske for any of the showers my family and friends insisted on throwing me one. If someone wants to give you one go for it!!

CONGRATS!!!

It's not tacky at all!!!!!!!!!!! I had a baby shower for my second shoot I actually had two. One at work and one for family and friends. It's not just about the gifts though they are nice and why not shower the mom and baby with gifts. But it's about celebrating the mom and baby. Go register for what you need and want that way whom ever wants to get you something knows what you want. To me thinking that's tack would be like not having a bridal shower for your second marriage. You might need different things but you still need stuff. Congrats on the new addition!!!!!!!!

In my world it is tacky but the nice thing about family showers your family knows the back story. They know you are not after new stuff for the sake of new stuff, they know you tossed it and oops. Your close friends will know too. Now if you start inviting the dog catcher you are going to get raised eyebrows.

I don't think it is tacky at all! If you asked for one that is a different story-asking for one is really tacky. My church throws baby showers for all expectant mothers-including one who had her 4th and one who had a 3rd. Some people are so rude on here! Now days I think baby showers are more about celebrating a new life(always exciting) rather than helping the mother "outfit" her child. All babies need to be celebrated whether it's the first or the fifth baby.

I never understood the idea that having a baby shower for a new baby is tacky. A wedding shower...maybe, but not a baby shower.

I think it depends on the area you're in. In my family and my area it is NOT the norm to have another shower no matter what the circumstance. I have personally never been invited to more than one shower for the same person. It's just not common here.

So if it were me I would look into buying used or borrowing items.

Congrats on Baby #2!

Personally, I wouldn't attend a 2nd baby shower, unless there was a BIG gap between babies (like 6+ yrs).

I bet if you post on your local Freecycle you can get everything you need for your new baby.

I don't think a shower for the second baby is tacky--my co-workers organized a shower when I was expecting #2, just as they had done for our first baby 3 years earlier. In neither case did I expect a shower, by the way, so it was totally their idea. Infants and babies require so many non-reusable things (and if the older child is a different sex, you may need different clothing) that it makes sense. I'd suggest letting your grandma enjoy giving you this celebration.

One thought about how to get the infant furniture/etc which you now need again: you might inquire whether the people to whom you gave your things have finished with them. If they don't need them now, they could hand them back to you. That happened with my maternity clothes, which I had borrowed from a friend, and my cousins traded maternity clothes back and forth. Good luck with the pregnancy, and have fun at the party!

[Just saw your SWH... to make sure people don't duplicate items such as the stroller, you could tell your grandmother which big items you have, since the guests would probably check with her about a big joint item.]

Well, I think it's okay, especially if your grandma offered to throw it. I'd keep it smallish and invite just your closest friends and relatives. My friends threw me a baby shower for number 2 and I helped to host small celebrations for their third babies...nowadays I think people just like throwing parties and celebrating babies!

Your grandma can always put in the invitation a list of things you need. You can keep it simple and just say to gift things that are consumable (like diapers, wipes, soap, etc.) or have her make a cute way to say something like this baby was unexpected and any and all baby essentials are happily welcomed. With just a little thought, she can come up with a cute, non-tacky way of wording it! ;)

Congrats!

I don't think it's tacky. If you have someone who wants to throw one for you, I say go for it! I'm pregnant with my second, my son is 5, and I had no intention of having another, so like you I gave EVERYTHING away. I realized last week that with my due date so close, I shouldn't assume anyone is throwing me a shower, so I made a list and hit the store. Just buying things like plain white onesies, burp cloths, baby soap, lotion, grooming kit, etc. I spent over $150 at Wal-Mart. That didn't even include any diapers, because our hospital always sends some home with the baby, and I don't know what size we're going to need. So, like I said, if someone wants to plan a shower for you, enjoy and appreciate! Baby's are expensive! lol

I had a shower for my second, which was same gender as my first (girl). I really didn't need anything besides diapers. But we still had a "sprinkle" to celebrate and I just got the word out that I didn't need much, so I got a few outfits, diapers etc. Most peple went in on the double stroller I now needed :)

I also had a work shower for the 2nd because it was a different job than when I had the first (where they also gave me a big "1st time mom" type shower)... so my 2nd work shower they mostly just took up a collection for a target gift card- but some people couldn't resist buying a little something cute too. It's all about the celebration- people like to celebrate!

And actually, a lot of people wanted to get matching outfits for the girls, that was surprising (and very fun).

Since you didn't save your clothes from your first you should definitely have a shower!

I only think it is tacky if you are asking or insisting - if people are offering, that is one thing. Plus, what many fail to consider is that people may not have been around for baby#1 and they too want to celebrate. I suggest you keep things low key and allow your grandmother to host an event for you.

ETA, I think it is more tacky when people have multiple showers for one baby - I get if you have family out of town and it is easier for them to throw you one there on a visit and one at home but I know of people that had 4 and 5 - now that is tacky.

Re: SWH - I think a registry would be fine, but do not put in all the coordinating items like car seat, stroller, bed set, boppy etc that all match each other like people do on the first one. I would do more of a guide like: bottles, blankets, onsies - keep it small and basic so people know you simply need the small stuff should they choose anything at all. Basically, keep it all under $20/item. I would do the raffle, sounds like fun to me and keep it about the baby not the stuff.

In my opinion, people have gotten lazy about gift giving - if it is not from a registry or from a gift card they do not know what to do, thus I think the registry (LOW KEY) would be a good idea. Be sure to NOT include it in the information though - let people inquire about it themselves. I for one would NEVER show up empty handed registry or not.

I was feeling thesame way when baby two was on her way, 22 months after the first, then I read somewhere, I cant remember exactly where but is was some type of parenting magazine, that it is totally acceptable and a good thing, not for the gifts, but so when the child is older and going through its babybook or picture album there are pictures for them, something about making them feel as important as the first sibling. Made sense to me, so I went for it. Plus the second was a girl and the first a boy so I got clothes for her.

I questioned that as well when I got pregnant with my second. My first was not even a year old when I got pregnant again. Friends and family offered showers, but I felt weird accepting them, until I was told that "Every child needs to be celebrated". That is what the shower is about, celebrating the new addition to your life. Yes, have a shower. Yes, register. Those who come will appreciate that you did. Celebrate this new child!

My two closest friends are throwing me a shower in four weeks for my second child. They offered and are very excited. I had my son 5 yrs ago and was not even friends with these two individuals at the time. Besides family I would say that most of the other people attending I have met in the past 5 years. So they were not even at my 1st shower. Everyone is so exited because I am having a girl. I only kept my sons crib and my breast pump. So I need everything again. I am not expecting people to go crazy and spend tons of money. People love to buy baby stuff and celebrate baby's arrival.

So I don't think its tacky and I am certainly not excepting my friends and family to support my child.

Actually I have already purchased most of the big items myself either new or off of craigslist.

Congrats on your new bundle of joy!!!

I did. The second one was family only, though.

Yes it is tacky. Sorry. I just think it makes it sound like you are poor and asking for free stuff for a baby that you are choosing to have.

That said.

When people come to see you in the hospital they will bring stuff for the baby. As for the other stuff you need to start looking for used or for garage sales.

i was told all my life that one baby shower and that was it..so baby#1 had one, baby#2 no..baby #3 yes..and i felt bad because baby #2 missed out on being celebrated and when we go back and look at pictures she always says where are my pictures of getting baby stuff..i have learned to never go by the rules..or what is an un- written rule, why cant you have a baby shower for every baby ?.. what is the big deal i think its a get together to spend time talking about the baby and remissness over times..have one if you want!!

Not tacky at all. Especially if you got rid of anything or the baby is a different gender. But still, every baby deserves to be celebrated and have their own clothes and goodies!!

Interesting... I am grappleing with it myself... I am due with #2 in October and with almost 5 years between them and the fact that the 2nd is a boy there are somthings I just do not have.

Fortunately I do have the big things. But the little thigns are adding up...

That said, if your Gram wants to do it for you I think your real friends and family will understand. If you were plannin on doing it yourself for you, that would be tacky.. but your Gram doing it out of love for you and you baby... that is a wonderful happpy event.

Good Luck and Congrats!

It would depend on the circumstances. Since you thought you were through having babies and now you are it would probably be fine.

Many people have a second shower for a child if it is of the opposite gender or if there is a space between baby A and baby B of 10 to 12 years. You would probably fall in the second category.

Let grandma enjoy the party and get things you will need. Since it has not been that long ago you can recall what you did like and what worked for you like bibs, wipes and clothing.

Congrats on baby. May you have a happy, healthy and safe delivery.

The other S.

PS I always kept some item of the kids because I knew of so many who did what you did and wound up pregnant and had to start all over. In fact there are a few diapers and cloths still bumping around the house and they are about 38 years old.

If it's small and really just close friends and family, I think it's ok. This is especially true because those close to you know that your gave everything away! I would also NOT register. I think that is very tacky. Also, I would not put requests for money or other requests on the invitations. I have had both things happen when invited to showers and did not attend either because it gave me a bad feeling. But my other friend who was expecting her third (by suprise, needed everything) had a surprise shower at the park with her close girlfriends and kids and I was happy to send a present (she lives across the country).

I think it's totally fine. If you want, call it a "Baby Sprinkle" (named such on invites). You register for the few things you may need but it's mostly about celebrating baby with family and close friends, just as you did the first time around. Don't feel wierd, just don't have a giant, splurgy registry unless you need it all ;) Contrats on number 2!!

Most people don't have a shower unless it is a different sex. I was having another girls and was thrown a casserole shower. Everyone brought a casserole or some freezable type of meal or dessert. I had enough food for a month. My mom came and cooked for a week so our freezer meals lasted longer than a month. A few brought a small gift also, but the shower was for meals. We played shower games like any other shower. It was really helpful. Good luck, God Bless, and Congratulations!!

You might not need a shower. When I had my second I got gifts the day I delevered. It was mostly outfits (some diapers and blankets) because she was a girl and I had, had a boy first. But I did get alot of gifts without having a shower. This way people could get the baby a gift if they wanted but they didn't feel obligated like with a shower. If you are borrowing a crib and have a stroller and car seat, what else is REALLY needed, besides diapers and clothes (and bottles if you are formula feeding). You could also see if there are other items you can borrow. I wanted a bassinet for my second and didn't use one with my first so I borrowed one from my cousin. I also had tons of people offered me their used baby clothes, which I would have used if my grandparents weren't so excited about outfitting their first great grandaughter (at five mnths they still buy her an outfit everytime they go out, like once a week!)

IMO it's tacky. However, I will agree that I'm probably in the minority and it seems like anything goes these days.

When someone I know has a second child, after the child is born I usually send a small gift in celebration of the birth.

Some people also choose to throw a get together after the baby is born for everyone to have a chance to see the baby and gifts are brought to the event. IMO this is a great idea, as long as the baby is old enough and healthy enough.

Tacky. Sorry. Mayb when the baby is born a little get together. -