Hi Moms!
With summer coming up, I was just wondering how often your kids see their school friends when they are not in school. My kids were 5 and 7 last summer and I am very open to having playdates at my house, but I did not feel that from many other moms last summer. Some of my son's friends moms work from home, so they are limited to when they can come over. Others were willing to drop their child off, but never asked my son to come over. I was a little frustrated, esp. since we do not live in a neighborhood with a lot of kids. Am I alone in feeling this way? Any suggestions?
Thanks,
N.
My daughter is 5 and I've found it's really hard to set up playdates since I work part-time and so do a lot of her friends' moms. I found a summer camp that she can go to for 3 days a week from 9am-12pm to keep busy and we go to the playground or Partridge Creek play areas a lot since there are always kids around. Plus I put her in gymnastics & swimming. Anyway, I keep her busy.
Can you join a playgroup or kids camp? Maybe your kids will get to know others through those activities and they can have playdates after. Most times summer is much slower for playdates though---
M
since I'm a SAHM - a lot - lots of sleepovers and such - usually two to three times a week.
Last year I made friends with a few moms from my son's mother's day out group. We'd chat in the parking lot a little and then one day one of the moms said "hey, how about Starbucks after dropping the kids off next Tuesday?" and we went, invited the other moms in the parking lot, had a nice time. Then I invited the moms to my house after dropping the kids off a couple weeks later. It was pretty organic and basic, but that's what we did. Then when something special like Thomas the Train, The Wiggles, or Walking with Dinosaurs came to town, we made sure to say "Hey, we're going to this....are y'all? Wanna meet up?" Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn't. But by the time summer came around, we were able to say "hey y'all come to my summer party at the water park" or we went to someone else's spraypark. Also, a lady I became great friends with at Bible study (over the school year) kept her granddaughter, my son's age, and when Bible study ended for the summer break, we met up a couple times at a playground or her backyard for a playdate, then I'd invite her to lunch for Mexican and she'd invite me for Egyptian, and we had great fun. The kids became great friends. On my son's soccer team, there are 2 moms that I've made casual friends with, and we have already had 1 playdate and plan on going swimming and also having a summer party at my new house after the season is over. Both moms have boys my son's age (on his team) and also have younger siblings for my younger son to play with. It's not really an accident though. I place myself in situations where I will meet moms with children my kids' ages so that they CAN have playmates. Don't know what there is to do in your town, but if you have a free magazine at the grocery store or doctors offices similar to Suburban Parent or Ft Worth Child....something that's a free parent's magazine, you can find loads of things to do for fun all summer long there.
Last year's summer was in a town that was AWESOME for families with smaller kids. Our routine every single week was basically something like Mon: off, nothing.....Tues: go to the playground behind the library for 30 minutes, walk to the library for storytime and a little craft, drive 2 blocks over to McDonalds for small fry club (a free club in the indoor playland that had a story, a craft, some songs, special guests like Ronald or firefighters or whatever)....Wed-Fri would be a playdate and/or a trip to see something (zoo, ride the train, go to the airport observation park for a picnic and plane watching, explore downtown and see the water gardens, museums, art galleries, or just get ice cream and walk around, go to the stockyards to be a cowboy, etc)....weekends: family outing to Botanical gardens or nature trails, take a trip to a safari, a fair or festival, the farmers market, a play at the children's theater, church, volunteer somewhere, and time at the community water park. We would swim 4-5 days a week every single week in the evenings when daddy got home from work. This year....we've moved to a much smaller place. We will do playdates occasionally, we will explore the new area, go to the beach and nature preserves, and on weekends try to see what's going on (whatever the local event is at the moment: one weekend it was an equestrian show and a yacht hop, we loved them both...this weekend it's a dolphin cruise (half price) and tomorrow is an art festival....etc) Have fun, whatever you do!!!
SO much more often than during the school year... but it's because we homeschool. Kiddo's awayschool friends only have time to play on weekends (outside of the sports and classes he takes with them during the schoolyear) but when summer rolls around playdates are possible 7 days a week UNLESS they're in daycare-camp.
During the school year we rotate between his 2 besties that awayschool. Typically we see each of them 1 weekend playdate a month (they each have 2 or 3 other friends in addition to HIM, so they rotate weekends as well, with each kid getting about 1 weekend a month). His 1 bestie that homeschools he sees (playdate wise) once a week on average during the school year.
During summer months he sees his homeschool friend about once a week AND his awayschool friends about once a week.
There's also usually 1 month (not solid but in total) in the summer where he doesn't see any of the 3... because of ours and THEIR family vacations & camps. So for a week or two he won't see anyone because WE'RE gone, and for a week or two he doesn't see "Charlie" because THEY'RE gone, and a week or two he doesn't see "Simone" because THEY'RE gone. <shrugs> It all overlaps. But in general... during the (puny) 6 weeks of summer break the awayschoolers get in our area... we see his 2 awayschool friends a LOT more frequently.
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This is ALL kinda bizarre compared to my own childhood. 1) we had over 100 days of summer vacation (12 weeks instead of 6) and 2) we all lived close enough to walk to each other's homes. In my son's life NONE of his besties are walking distance, so it means parents have to arrange actual "dates" and 3) 2 of his friends don't have SAHPs... so their time is far more limited.
Have you tried joining your local MOMS Club? It's an international club. Here's the link to find yours. http://momsclub.org/ I have found that moms in this club are very interested in getting their kids together with their friends. Our group schedules a couple things a week for people to choose from. That way you make it to what you can/want.
So many of our daughters school friends were in summer camps, staying with fathers at their homes, elsewhere or on vacations, it was a bit hard to schedule. But we did ask and she was invited every few weeks.
She and I would try to go and do some of the free things around town and try to find friends to join, but at times it was hard to match up.
Sleep overs were also a bit hard to schedule, but again she put it out there to a few friends. and she enjoyed having them over.
Thank goodness we had neighborhood kids that when they came home, we would all gather outside and visit each evening.
Our place is play-date central.
More so during the summer.
However, I am the Mom (compared to my friends) who do not mind having play-dates. I am, about the only one, that has them/plans them/doesn't mind having them. The other Moms/friends I have... are not really into having play-dates. Thus, my kids are not 'invited' all over the place, because the other Moms are not play-date types. And because they work. Which is a key point. But because I am a SAHM... I have playdates all the time and do not mind.
At all.
BUT, my kids' friends Moms, will invite my kids on outings. Not at their homes. Which is no problem. That is how they reciprocate.
Its cool.
Its fine.
They see them everyday. We homeschool. hehe I'm not sure what to tell you because so many moms do work now that it must be hard to get together with other kids/moms. The majority of our friends homeschool, so we are pretty accessible if we aren't busy on vacation or something else out of the ordinary. Perhaps it is a great time for your kids to reconnect outside of peer influence. I think that can be the best thing we can do for our children.
I found at those ages that there was not a lot of over the summer contact with school friends. It really wasn't until my son got to be in about 3rd/4th grade that there was more summer interaction - and mostly because I developed friendships with a couple of his classmates Moms. We all lived within a 3 block radius of each other so it just came naturally to hang out over the summer.
It wasn't until 7th grade that he really began to maintain school friendships over the summer.
Give it time - eventually the kids will all be old enough to express their own interest in seeing each other over the summer.
In the meantime, find some other child oriented activities for your children to engage in. Summer camps, VBS, YMCA, Boys & Girls Clubs are all good ways to meet other children for summer time fun.
Good Luck
God Bless
