Bittersweet last day of school today my son 1st grade. He's sad he lives going to school but he has a fun filled summer ready.
Baseball also recently ended too. I'm a bit sad too and looking back feeling guilty that I didn't spend much time at all at school except for evening events a few day parties but with being buried at work- with ft- and week nights/ends devoted to sports/scouts I didn't make it there much. Also do I spend weekends with other moms in a mom group as well with school friends. ? I've reached out to a few if his friends mom but they say they are busy.
I talk to other moms at other schools and they have a moms group. Kind of feeling like I should be doing more. Idk??
Anyways
Lol. I have to laugh at the comments that I need to find things to do. I had to reread my post to figure out where I wrote this was about me. I have enough social outlets. It was more about the moms meeting up so they could have the kids play together but my main concern was I feel like at our school there maybe a lot of parent involvement that sometimes I feel like I should do more. But sometimes I don't feel it and sometimes I do. Yes nowadays parents are way more involved than they were years ago. Anyways feel better as I know I'm a very involved parent I go to everything that i need to be at and all his sporting events etc
*** update*** thanks everyone!! I do think I was thinking that these moms were with their kids a lot. But you are right most of the moms do it as work, to help etc and yes they chaperone , work in office, classroom moms that do the parties etc and soo creative. I'm good at planning events but I'm amazed sometimes. We are a private school as well so there is more parent involvement and I just never can get in because my job was not that close to the school. I think next year I'm going to commit to try a couple things and know that's all I can do since I do work! But it really wasn't about me, I just think some of these moms are amazing, they help when my kid is hurt they chaperone events with my child etc etc . But you are also right it's a job. Which right now I do not need another job. What I'd like to do while he's still in el is bring lunch for him and his friends one days just little memories like that that I didn't get as a kid!*** it just flies by at this age. And I miss out enough as it is with work***
IMO, parents should go when they can, WHEN they're actually needed. (Holiday parties, pro activities, etc.)
There ARE moms who go way overboard I think.
You went when you could--what more can/could you do?
I don't understand the whole parents spending so much time at school thing. When I was a child at school the only time my or any other parents stepped in the school was for holiday concerts, parent teacher conference and once a year open house. There was acouple moms as room moms for parties and field trips. If your parent was there any other time you were in trouble. School was for kids.
I loved my parents but was not sad to be away from them in the day time.I think kids are stifled by so much parent involvement in the actual school day. They don't get to learn conflict resolution if a parent is constantly hovering. They have no chance to learn to navigate a social life with out mom or dad arranging it.
To answer your question you are doing enough.
You're doing fine. I was a kid in the 70s and my mom was a SAHM and I have very few memories of her at my school. She is and was a great mom. A lot more pressure for moms now.
Well, I'm not a SAHM type even tho technically I don't work so I am a SAHM now. My kids now are 12 and 15 but when they were that age I worked full time and only went to things that were after work. And my kids didn't start going to friends houses or having friends over until recently. They have always played with the neighborhood kids but not school kids. I didn't even invite school kids over for bday parties. My kids took cupcakes to school on their birthday and when they turned about 10 they could invite 1-3 friends to their bday event but that's it.
So no, you don't need to hang out with him at school and no, you don't need to contact the moms of all his school friends to hang on weekends and summer breaks. Unless you want to. It's your life, do what you want, not what you feel everyone else is doing. JMO. Good luck.
Kids need to learn to detach a bit from parents - school is where this happens.
Don't feel bad!
It sounds like YOU need some socialization so go join a yoga class or a book club or take a class.
You need to get busy yourself with something that interests you.
When you do, you'll find like minded people to be friends with!
I'm a little unclear - is this about you spending time with people from school or spending time with your son?
It sounds like you make it to a lot more than I do. I did not step a foot in the door during class time. I went in after hours to pick up an assignment after a few sick days. I don't mingle much with other parents, except to chat a bit during the school picnic or after church [Catholic School].
We even missed our daughter's day to lead the church in a song. We are working parents, she plays travel sports, and we have to take our time off when she has a tournament. There are events we miss. It is a choice and she understands, although she sure does wish we could be there.
I think you are doing just fine and are bieng a bit hard on yourself.
We have moms who are at school I think every day for hours. There's a lot of volunteer work to be done. I work too so no way could I do that. I try to pick some events to help with and other than evening stuff and driving on a field trip or two, that's it. You'll find all ranges. Some mothers never come at all. So it's just what you can manage and want to do.
Our schools don't want parents coming to hang out with the kids. It's distracting and bothersome. If a parent wants to come in for an activity or help out I'd wait for the teacher to ask after I'd offered.
I was a SAHM when my kids were that age and I was around the school a lot, as a lunch room supervisor and as a parent volunteer. I was not spending time with my own kids. I was working. They would see me at lunch, but the rest of the time I was in the office or the work room, photocopying or laminating etc. At that age I was not trying to hang out with the moms of my kids friends. We invited friends over to our house or on outings and hopefully the other families reciprocated. I really had no time to entertain adults. The point of inviting kids over is to keep your own kid entertained. Moms groups were for when the kids were infants and toddlers and unable to go on playdates on their own. Anyway, I would suggest you invite your child's friends over. The mom's would probably appreciate the offer, and hopefully reciprocate.
i worked when my boys were in elementary so i wasn't there much. but that's okay. they weren't going to school to spend time with me. being in the PTA, going to special events and volunteering in the classroom once every month or two worked just fine for all of us.
we're all different. you can't judge what you *should* do by what other parents are doing. they don't have your life and your schedule and your personality.
khairete
S.
I guess that my answer is more time than some and less time than others.
I say this just finishing my term as the PTA President this school year. I do work full time, but I have a schedule that allows me some time up at the school That being said, I have used many of my vacation days doing stuff up at the school. I have chaperoned field trips, spoke at the Great American Teach In, helped with Field Day etc..
I absolutely have NOT been up at the school every day though... I do have to prioritize my paying job over my volunteer work. I do make a point of attending after hours school events with my children. I think it is important to show my face as an involved parent. I also participate in my son's Cub Scout activities and my daughter's Girl Scout stuff.
I think that it IS important to be involved with your children...although you don't necessarily have to be at the school to do it. Sometimes showing your support is sending in donations for the class party or sending in extra school supplies for needy children. I think that children just want to see that you value them and that their stuff is important to you...
I think I get what you are saying.
Some moms look to be super involved in school and I think other moms feel that's something expected these days.
My best friend is the top volunteer I think at their school. She kind of views it as a job.
It's her outlet. Yes, she met moms that way, but she says they probably won't be friends in a few years (just through kids and that particular situation) but for her, it's fun, social and she likes being involved. I don't actually think she sees her kids that much there - more chaperoning and organizing things and doing updates to website.
My husband just volunteered not too long ago (really just needed one extra set of eyes so they could go on a trip) and so he went - he said it was like herding cats. He chatted with the other parents but it's not like they all hung out - he said they were keeping eyes on kids.
Mom groups .. not sure what that is at school age. There are fundraising groups I guess that must get together .. I think it's more just to meet to discuss plans.
I think from your post it sounds like you're sad you're not more involved in your kids' school life so that's why moms responded that you should find your own stuff to do. I get what you mean about should you be doing more - if you work, etc. it's hard. I used to volunteer to do things I could do at home (I always brought in cupcakes, etc.) etc.
If you work, you don't have a lot of time to be involved in school. The moms who are at school a lot are usually SAHM's. Just attend the special events and orientations, things like that, and maybe give a day or two each semester in his classroom if you can. Those will be special memories for both of you.
Join the mom's group if you have time. If you don't, don't.
Aw, don't worry.
Most of the stay at home moms help out but so many moms work.
They would come to evening events & the ones that worked close by would
occasionally come by on their lunch.
It's hard .
You do what you can when you can.
Don't beat yourself up. At most schools...there are a lot of parents helping out. Those who can....do. Just keep in mind you work a lot & it's hard.
Don't feel bad!! :)
