How Loud Should Your Kids Be Allowed to Be in Their Rooms?

How about a happy medium? That's what we do. They can be noisy...laughing, joking, bouncing, dancing...but they cannot scream at the top of their lungs or squeal and shriek loudly.

I have sensitive ears so I have no problem saying quiet down, please.

Honestly, I would probably be a bit annoyed too if things were so loud that I couldn't hear a tv in the living room when the kids are in an entirely different room with the door closed.

It may not be a question of lenient or strict-- it may be that your husband is noise sensitive and trying to think. I, myself, have a limit of noise that I can deal with, and then there's a problem. If I can, I remove myself. Just as some people can concentrate well on tasks in a busy environment (say, the guy who goes to the coffee shop to write a paper) others of us need our surroundings to be quieter for us to simply be able to think.

I'm wondering if your husband could move the television into your bedroom or another part of the house for one evening. Kids do like to whoop it up during a slumber party/sleepover. Or see if you can't lure him into the kitchen to play a game.... do something in another, less-loud part of the house.

My limit is mostly when it gets so loud it's disturbing me to the point I can't think. (Funny, I wrote a blogpost about this yesterday, wondering if my son wasn't trying to steal my soul by playing his preprogrammed keyboard repeatedly on some sort of "Carnvial of Souls" macabre tune/setting.) Other than that, "take it to your room" is usually how I deal with noise. Kids NEED to have an outlet for all of that energy!

kids have to be quiet too much. Libraries, schools, churches, shopping places. The only time they can be loud is at home. Then you got to worry about the time. I always tell my kids if you want to run and scream and shout, you can do it in the back yard or your rooms. They are pretty good about it. I did get some complaints from our one grumpy neighbor that they were screaming like they were dying. Which they were, but that's cause they were playing pirates on the swing set and they WERE pretending to die. I just brushed him off and said it was kids and it wasnt 11 pm. My husband too can not handle long periods of loud noise from the kids, but he watches tv at volume 800 because he cant miss anything. SO WHAT is up with that? I agree with ya, let them have fun and be loud, tell dad to read a book in his bedroom. Save his eyes.

Everyone lives in the same house and should respect each other's needs. If it is loud enough that it is grating on another member of the household it is too loud. Well except in the case of sibling rivalry, I mean come on, they will claim the other one looked at them too loud to start a fight.

There is no reason they have to be so loud that it is annoying but the answer is obviously not silence but turn it down a bit.

Same way at my house, bothers hubby, not me, not unless it literally makes me jump out of my skin from a loud noise.

I think a lot of it is that men like to come home and relax, especially after work. Not that women don't, because I would LOVE to, we just never expect to get to do so. Men veg out in front of the TV as there way to unwind. When constant noise is interrupting that, it irritates them.

We don't limit the noise per say, but will comment to calm down a bit if it really gets out of hand. Another thing to consider is how often this is occuring. If your niece is over once a month, he should get over it and let them have a good time. If twice a week, then he may have some more say....

I think the key is in how he is saying it. If he is grumpy and mean, that is not OK. If he is respectful and assertive, that is. I hate when my husband snaps at the kids, and I hate when I do it.

Good luck!

I'm ok with noise in the home, as long as it isn't disturbing anyone else. If it is just me at home and I am cleaning, or playing around on the computer, I don't really care. I think it is fair that they be asked to keep it down when people are trying to sleep, or if someone is trying to watch tv. I usually send the kids outside to be noisy, then they can make as much noise as they like. Really, it is about teaching them to respect others.

I also wonder if your DH is simply more bothered by noise than you are. There are times when I just want to poke someone in the eye when the kids have parties - it's the noise, the chaos, the energy. I'm an introvert, so hosting in general is draining.

I would talk to DH about finding a middle ground where he's not constantly telling them to be quiet but they aren't screaming and being out of control.

I think that laughing and joking, even loudly, is normal kid behavior. But it's not out of hand if it's not really bothering the rest of the house. When my DD and her friend went tearing through the house with swords and shrieking I said, "Okay, not the shrieking. Indoor voices, please." And they did.

You might also offer to DH that he can do something he doesn't necessarily do for himself (see a friend, attend a game, go to a movie) and you will handle the girls for that timeframe so he doesn't have to deal with it. Or take the girls out to a park for a while to run off steam.

For sure....the loudness gets to me after awhile. It drives me crazy after awhile to be in places such as McDonalds play land or Chuck E Cheese.

I do give exceptions when they have someone over, but no doubt I try to move them to an area that is not super close to me. I also don't allow obnoxious yelling or even playing their music super loud. There is a limit in my house.

I can completely tune noise out. I am so loud, come from a loud family and guess what? I have loud kids -lol. My husband, not so much.
I don't think you are being too lenient or easy. I just think everyone has their threshold for noise/chatter. I agree, though, my husband gets more annoyed with noise when he is watching TV. if he is on the computer or working on a project he doesn't even notice it:)

I agree that I like to hear the good time as long as it doesn't get out of control. I guess on those days that niece comes over, tivo will be his best friend.

I think it's a combination of both. If they are that loud and constant about it, than yes, they do need to be reminded about inside voices. There is no reason to scream all the time. However, kids get rowdy when they get together and screaming is bound to happen. By telling the kids to use inside voices, you are teaching them that not only is screaming not okay in the house, but they need to respect others in the house. Your husband is clearly bothered by the noise, so out of respect for your husband, the kids should try to monitor their voice levels.

It's the opposite in my house. My husband is one of eight kids so he doesn't bat an eye at the noise. I, on the other hand, don't like it. I mean, the happy noise doesn't bother me so much (laughing, singing, dancing) but I can't stand the wrestling, play-fighting, screaming, etc. I've had to bite my tongue a LOT over the years because I know it's MY problem, and kids should be able to make a fair amount of noise while they are playing, especially since they have to be quiet almost everywhere else they go.
Have you heard of TV Ears? They are wireless headphones for your TV. My husband bought them last year so he could watch TV after I go to sleep, they are awesome! He got them at Best Buy, I think they were about $50. See if your husband would try something like that, it could help keep the peace :)

Headphones. Surely, there is a way for him to have headphones, so he can hear the televison? I had a TV that actually had a jack for them. And I can't imagine there aren't wireless ones by now, for people with sound systems. Otherwise, I second the suggestion to get him out of the house.

I agree with the idea that there is no screaming for help, unless someone ACTUALLY needs help - even then, Is is broken or bleeding? Did someone throw up? No? Then you are smart kids, and you can figure it out..(most of the time...)

In fact, our policy here is, sometimes a kid just needs to shout - that's what their rooms are for. Or the backyard.

It depends on perception. If there's a sleep over then one has to assume there will be noise. I think being "loud" is fine up until a certain time. Then it should be quiet. Is there another room or basement where the girls can hang out? Can Dad go watch TV in his bedroom? If there's a sleep over Dad must expect loud noise or don't have the sleep overs. You can try diversions of having them watch a movie with popcorn and the like and they do clean up the night or the next day. Board games? I'm not right there to hear just how loud it gets but if it is so loud that I can't hear the TV then I'd say that's pretty loud but Dad does have to be a bit more flexible.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I think it's a "dad thing" or at least it is in our circle of friends and family. I am more sensitive to kids needing time to be kids - unscripted play without constant admonitions from all the grown-ups. Hubby thinks they need to keep it calm (unless he is the one instigating the fracas). Of course, he is tuning out the extra stimuli all day at his crazy job while I get more quiet time while the older ones are at school. Perhaps that's why he has the subtitles on the TV all the time ;)