Maybe you should ask the OB why s/he pulled the baby's head out. I wonder if s/he saw something wrong, like the cord wrapped or something like that (in which case your OB probably should have been able to loop the cord over the baby's head, but who'm I to say - maybe it depends). It could also have been a case of shoulder distocia - which is rare enough that your doula really might never have seen the need. My midwife had to reach into my uterus with both hands to save my baby's life because her shoulder was stuck on my pelvic bone! Had to fold my perineum back for that one. Ouch. I'm definitely not the same, either. I do find that some positions are more comfortable than others, so try that. My dr. also assures me that if I actually do my kegels (whoops), this will help a LOT. Try that, too. They help put everything back together. Even if they can't help with a difference caused by stitches, it can help support everything.
My dr did say that it does take time, sometimes a lot of time, for things to return to some semblance of normal again. I have heard up to a year.
If it were me, I wouldn't go through that kind of pain. If you feel pain to the point of wincing and crying, you really should stop, for your own safety and health, let alone the fact that you deserve to not experience that kind of trauma, especially associated with something intimate like sex! I'm sure your husband will understand that you need to, say, take it more slowly, maybe try different degrees of penetration, and definitely different positions. Maybe for a little while you can try just oral sex, cuddling, etc.
If these things don't help, and after the next few months you're not noticing any improvement when you return to some of your old positions, etc., you may have to see an OB in your area.
Good luck. It's not fun, I know (I still look 4 months pregnant in my clothes, even though I'm my prepreg weight).
L.
PS Yay for natural childbirth! If you do have another, check out Natal Hypnotherapy program. It's award-winning for a reason. I can vouch for it. Had a fantastic experience with it.