My son just started kindy 2 weeks ago. He is 5 1/2 and has been in the same preschool since he was 6 months old.He has about 3 other kids that also are going to school with him and 2 of them are in his class (girls) -- The preschool was not a full day of structure but did have some structure and alot of play time. also they encouraged kids to do their own thing so if they were reading yes they sat in a circle but there was also alot of independent play. at School of course it is very structured, sitting at a desk or gathering as a group to do an activity etc. there is not alot of "play" time and my son is definitely very active and independent type. He also is a great sleeper and always did well w/ naps. he's telling me he doesn't sleep during nap as he cannot fall asleep. I associate that w/ the unfamiliar surroundings, kids etc.. i know in time he will eventually take a nap as he's exhausted , wiped out when he gets home! He's learning well , behaving well in school as they let us know w/ good behavior stickers etc.. But this past weekend at home was trying. he has never been so misbehaved and disrespectful towards me or my husband. says naughty things, never heard before like "i hate you".. this has been the worst day ever".. i'm like who is this KID certainly not the one i've know for 5 1/2 years.. LOL . i've read up on a lot of this stuff and making friends, adjusting and all and really think that it's not as easy as one would think, he was excited and still is but i think there might be some anxiety going on and how to interact w/ new kids new settings. the other night we had back to school night and had to bring him tot the area where all the kids are watched while the parents are in the classrooms and he had severe separation anxiety which is not the norm for him..
He is tired. Give him a few weeks. No time here in K for naps. Too much has to be accomplished.
..... Please know, that your son is not unusual, he is not the only one, and MANY MANY Kindergarten kids, have a TON of adjusting to do.
And it can take, even 3 months for them to acclimate and adjust. To school.
This is also, what the Teachers and Counselors say at my kids' school.
Per the Kinder kids.
I also work at my kids' school.
Keep in mind ALSO, that "school" is a long tiring day for a child, to adjust to. It is "work." Not play. They are following direction ALL day, doing learning, and having a routine. This is school.
AND, after school, a child IS TIRED. Very tired. And they NEED to deflate. So let your child, deflate. After school. Don't start making demands on him or telling him what to do, as soon as he gets home. A child, NEEDS to, deflate after their long day at school. And have a snack. And relax.
After school, IS HARD for many children. Not only Kindergarten kids. MANY kids, are tired/cranky/fussy/"misbehaved" after school. Because, they are spent. They are tired. They have been following directions all day, learning, listening, paying attention, and concentrating. ALL day.
So after school, is key: you need to let your child deflate and relax.
When they are "fussy" after school... they are in a sense, venting and spouting off their tiredness. They are young. They don't do it in an "adult" manner. Give him some understanding after school. Meaning, some kids don't even want to talk after school. They just want quiet, or to sit there doing nothing. Or you can say "I know you worked hard at school today. I am proud, of you. Why don't you just relax now and Mommy will make you a snack. You need to unwind." That is what I do. With both my kids and they are now 10 and 7 years old. I ALWAYS... have a chunk of time after school, at home, where they can just unwind from their school day. Then, I verbally tell them, something like "In half an hour, you start your homework....just relax for now. You need to regroup, after school."
Give your son, a compliment on his school day.
Say you are proud of him.
That you know he is adjusting.
That you know it takes time.
Don't compare him to others.
Help to make him feel, able.
Not that you are noticing everything he does wrong.
AND YES, kids this young, do have good days and bad days.
JUST LIKE adults.
Don't expect perfection.
He is adjusting.
Let him know, that. That you understand.
When a kid knows his parent understands... it ALSO helps the child feel more comfortable.
And NO, kids this age do not necessarily, have "friends" or BFF's.
They play with different kids, each day.
Or sometimes they just play by themselves.
NORMAL.
Its okay.
And of course, a kid gets nervous or anxious about things.
This is also NORMAL.
HE is NOT the only one.
Keep that in mind.
Don't pressure him.
It will make things worse.
And, when a kid says "I hate you...." what I do is I tell my child "I know you had a hard day, you seem grumpy now. But Mommy understands. I know you don't hate me. You are just pent up. Just relax for now. When you feel better, let me know. Mommy is going in the kitchen now to make snacks...." and then I go, and I give my kiddo a hug. And smile.
And it helps make my kid, feel much better.
Because, I am not, punishing him for that comment.
It is just a little kid's way, of venting their frustration.
A kid knows comments like that are mean.
I will say to my kiddo "That's not nice, you know that.... you think about it. And I know you can correct your comment." And then I walk away. And then my son will come to me, and say "Sorry Mommy, I love you. I am just so tired now...." And I know that.
Tell your child he is misbehaving... that he KNOWS that.
So, HE needs to correct that. And "redo" his comments or behavior.
Teach him to problem solve.
To come up with another way of talking and acting.
Teach him that.
For a Kindergarten kid, they have to do and know so much:
please Mommy, please Daddy, study and learn, learn well, listen well, follow direction, please the teacher, know the class routines, know the school rules, know the classroom rules, do everything on time, make friends so parent can be happy, get enough sleep, do homework, adjust to so many different kids and personalities in class, 'never' do anything wrong at school & at home, remembering all the things they learn in school, remembering each week what the routines are and rules, coming home and also doing the same thing they did in school per behaving and trying to do everything perfectly so no one gets mad at them, and always smiling because if a kid is grumpy they get scolded, and basically always having to please everyone. They basically have to "be" what everyone else wants them to be. And they are only so young.
That is a kid's life... especially once they start school. And that is only a very short "list" of things a Kinder kid, must, do and what everyone, "expects" of them.
"Expectations" on a kid, once they start school, increases. So there is a huge adjustment... for a kid. In this manner too. Keep that in mind.
Even an adult starting a "new" job... can take TIME to adjust to it all.
Same for a kid, new to Kindergarten and school.
It does not happen in just 2 weeks.
And with all this going on, yes, a kiddo can get "stressed."
Just like an adult or parent, who is expecting all this stuff of their child.
All kids are active and independent. And now they are in school. So a child also has to learn, that there is a place and time, for certain behaviors. And what is acceptable or not.
Just something else, they have to learn, too.
Our son went to a Montessori preschool (at 3 1/2) and kindergarten was the highest grade they did.
So kindergarten was not an adjustment for him at all.
Pre-school took several months for him to get use to.
Yeah, they do tend to pick up some bad tendencies from what they see at school.
Deal with them as they come.
When our son tried sassing me (like he heard a friend of his doing to his parent when he was being picked up) I asked him why he thought he could talk to me like that.
It doesn't matter how others run their families but WE do not treat/talk to each other that way.
It got to a point where he wasn't sure if a word was naughty or not so he'd ask if he could say it to me so he could find out.
He'd tell me the word - and then I'd tell him if it was good, bad or really bad - and then he knew.
Anxiety when there's a lot of people coming and going is a lot like stage fright - it might hit them suddenly - and then be over in within a few weeks.
Give it some more time.
By Halloween he should be fine!
Did he have a summer break from preschool? If so, then he really was only in preschool for a few months at most, right, since you said that he's now 5.5 and started preschool at 5? And it sounds like it wasn't very structured, moving on from task to task throughout the day.
Well, you're two weeks in, it sounds like this is just some normal adjustment going on here. I definitely wouldn't worry at this point. And yes, he will grow by leaps and bounds -- and also bring home lots of ... interesting ... words and comments.
If you know of specific concerns/worries of his, you could do role playing with him to help him work it out. I know that when our daughter started kindergarten, when I tucked her in at night I'd lay down with her and we'd go over her day. Frequently that covered concerns with friends, but also with the older kids that she was around in the after-school program. Hashing things out with the lights off, comfortable and cuddling, really helped her. Good luck, I think you're little guy will be just fine, given some normal adjustment.
P.S. we had no naps in preschool or kinder, but you may want to adjust his bedtime to make up for the lack of naps now.
My son did half day and honestly, it wasn't until November that things felt like smooth sailing. (His adjustment was also compounded by the fact that we had started with a new eye therapist for him and those exercises were also daunting as well as starting school. This year we are putting off re-starting eye therapy until late October.)
These things take time. When I was a nanny, just the adjustment to a new person took a couple months before the kids felt steady on their feet and I on mine in their home. Likewise for starting up at preschool-- the first two months are a LOT of work. :) I wish you patience and more patience and lots of strength. Hang in there.. it's hard when they are worn out, huh?
Kindy at 5.5 is rough. I don't care that they let you start at 5. It's so young...so tough for kids. With all they expect these days...
My kids never napped past age 2 though.
You have full day kindergarten? That can be a lot. Wasn't clear from the post. I am used to 2 hours and that's even tough!
Hang in there!
Mine started kindergarten a couple weeks ago too. He's not having behavior issues at home, but the separation in the morning has been bad. He finally is adjusting now in this week. He was completely happy this morning and on pick up this afternoon. And he has no friends from preschool, so he's meeting all new friends, new teacher, new classroom. And most importantly, no naps. We decided he was exhausted and he started falling asleep way earlier and sleeping 12 hours. Now that he's kind of caught up, seems like he doesn't need quite so much, but we're still shooting for good long night's sleep.
