How Do You Help a Child Go to a New School?

When we moved mid-year, a few days before they were to start their new school, I had my 2 kids help me make cookies. Oldest was in 3rd grade and youngest was in 1st. We made sugar cookies and they each decorated one for each kid in their new class. I then helped them write a letter to their new class that introduced them. Just their name and couple of short sentences about their favorite hobbies and pets and how excited they were to be starting the new school and making new friends. I delivered the boxes and notes to the office the day before my kids started the new school. And the teachers handed out the cookies to the kids and read my kids letters to them while they ate them. My kids were an instant hit with their new classes and it really helped my very shy son make new friends. Both teachers said it was the smoothest transition they had seen for new students. And actually, I don't think you would need to do cookies, you could really do any kind of a snack or treat, I think the letters are the most important part. I hope it goes well for you.

I just wanted to let you know when kids switch schools every district is at a different pace, so it's extrememly easy for your kids to fall behind or get lost in the mix. I would highly highly suggest some sort of homeschooling or tutoring at home as well as going to school each day.

My daughter was in 1st grade last year and all the new kids to 1st grade (went to kindergarten somewhere else) were behind, needed extra help and summer school. I was amazed at how far behind these kids were.

As far as making new friends in the younger grades it's not as big of a problem anybody will almost play with anybody. I keep my daughter in alot of extra curriculars like soccer, girlscouts, karate, and she's always connecting with her peers as I am the other mom's.

Make sure that each teacher knows the situation and ask them to keep you very informed of your child's progress and give you a list of all concepts introduced. Each teacher/school teaches concepts at different times and speeds. By moving in the school year it creates a loss opportunity for your child. Go to each state you'll be living in and download the first grade's list of educational standards. They should be similar. Use it as an overall guide to help you keep track of what he has done. (This isn't a bad idea even if you weren't moving.)

It may be a good idea to visit with the school's principal and tell him/her your situation. He/She may be able to better choose your child's teacher. See if you can visit your child's classroom and teacher before the start of school, not just at open house (one-on-one time). Most teachers work in their rooms well in advance of teacher report days.

Once you know where you are moving in December, contact the new school and start over with the new principal. If possible, ask if your child can visit the classroom for a part of the day (before lunch and during lunch) before the big move. If not possible, see if you can email the teacher and see if you can get a "buddy" assigned to your child who will anticipate his arrival and send him an email or card. (You could provide the self-addressed envelope. The less a teacher/school has to do, the more willing they are to help with your request.)

Although this isn't the best situation for your son, it could be a blessing in disquise. This may help him open up and make lots of friends at each school. The more confidence you exude, the more he will, too!

I love some of the other suggestions, but make sure you ask if you can bring any food items if you choose to do that. Some schools have strict rules about homemade food and anything with nuts in them.

Good luck! And, don't forget to take care of yourself with all of those moves! Utilize mom groups and your new neighbors! We've moved across country 3 times in the last 8 years! It's hard but eventually you'll be settled!

As a former middle school teacher, I have had many shy new students come in the middle of the school year. Because your boy is shy, a good suggestion is to try to reduce his anxiety about the change by familiarizing him with the new school and teacher before school begins. Because many teachers have professional days before school begins, you may be able to arrange a brief meeting with your son and his teacher. You can also try to get him excited for school by allowing him to pick out "cool" school supplies and a "cool" new first day outfit. The more he feels prepared for the situation, the better. Good luck :)

We moved overseas and back with our kids...of course in the middle of the school year. (The last move found son in 2nd grade; daughter in 1st) One thing that really helped when we moved was to get into contact with the "new" teacher. Because both kids knew the name of their new teacher, we could talk about what "Ms. Teacher" would like to see, etc. We were able to e-mail the teachers, too, and they were able to tell us something about their classes ("You will be the second Sarah in our class this year!" or "There are 13 boys and 11 girls in our class"...). Just knowing SOMETHING about the new class and school helps prepare the child for what he'll see.

Another thing that helped with the transition was for the kids to bring something from our old home to give to our new classmates. We brought a local candy (peanut free!) to hand out to the new classmates. We had to check with school policy to make sure it was ok, and both teachers were thrilled because it gave the new students something to immediately connect with my kids. This also gave our kids something to look forward to sharing about their old home with their new classmates.

My daughter is incredibly shy, especially around new people. Today she tells me she's good at making new friends. Although I don't see that she is especially outgoing, apparently she is comfortable with being around new people now...and knowing my child is comfortable is a wonderful thing.

One other thing that helped our kids with the transition was that we were able to take pictures of the new school to show them. We'd gone ahead to find a place to live, and while in the new location, we snapped pictures of the new school. That helped, too, in knowing what they'd see. The school they go to now has on-line pictures, so if you know where they'll be attending, maybe your new school will have the same thing.

One more thought is to talk to your child about the move. We talked until we were talked out about the new school. Sometimes the kids would participate in the conversation, sometimes we were simply planting seeds. "Your new principal will be a man." or "I wonder how many boys will be in your class?" or "Do you think you'll have recess before lunch or after lunch?" Some of these thoughts helps the child see that every school is alike (all have recess, principals, etc), but also differences (numbers in classes, etc). Sometimes we got answers to the questions before they started, sometimes not. Always, I let the kids know that I was there for them no matter what....and they've transitioned wonderfully!

Good luck with your moves and transitions!

I just went through this myself a year ago with my two daughters, one in 2nd grade and the other in Kindergarten. We also moved to another state and didn't know anyone and it was right in the middle of summer. I went to the city hall and found everything I could about events around town for my daughter's age group. I even went to the library and scouted out moms that had girls the same age as mine. I asked them about what acitivities to have my daughters in and I even made a few friends myself. I have a very shy daughter too and at first she was withdrawn in school but the more activites I put her in i.e. soccer, dance, she recognized the kids from class and blossomed. Also, helping out in her class every now and then was another way for her to know everything was alright in this new school. You will be surprised how your little boy will be in this new environment, kids adjust very well, sometimes better than adults do. Treat it as a new adventure and he will too.

Hi J.,

He is a different perspective for you. I went to nine different schools. My parents moved around a lot. I think my Dad was a vegabond...lol.

Anyway what became very important to me was family. My sister and I were bestfriends because although we made friends, it never lasted. When I was younger I never cared. I bearly even remember the schools but our houses and what we did as a family. Traditions are very important. Whatever religion or background you have make special times and traditions that just your family does...I mean it doesn't have to be unique but that you do just as a family so that no matter where you are it's the same.

I believe I am a stonger person for it but one down fall I have is although friends are important to me, they are not a priority. So I have a hard time keeping close friends. I would say I mostly have really good aquaintences.

My husband grew up an Army brat so he had the same exact experience and it's the same for him.

So I guess my best advice would be to teach him how to be a good friend even if for a short while and I would also really focus on doing some extra school work. That way even with changing schools he may be ahead but won't be behind.

Just remember too it's probably a lot harder on you than it is on him :o)

Good luck,
A.

I would suggest homeschooling until your husband is done with his residency. That's a lot of moving and even I as an adult would have a hard time. We, too, just moved about 6 months ago and we're still getting settled into a familiar routine. At least if you were homeschooling your 1st grader would still have that familiarity as well.
Good luck with all the moves coming up!

That's a lot of moving, starting over, moving, and starting over again. I'd consider homeschooling just for the year. I see you're a stay-at-home Mom. It's just a suggestion. That's something I would consider until there is some permanency for him. It's hard making new friends when you're shy and then leaving them and do it all over again and then leave them again.

Good luck with whatever you do decide.

Ever thought of homeschooling? Then the school moves with him. It would be worth a try, and you can alway go back to public school. Good luck!

First and foremost I wouldn't make a big deal out of it because he'll sense that and get stressed just because you are stressed. I saw that with my daughter's class last year when she was in public school. One Mom walked in the door crying like it was some big tragedy and of course her child followed right with her. Then they went through the same thing every day.
These days schools are so big that most kids are in classes with all new kids for a few years before they even see anyone from the year before.
We home school but I also have a daughter in 1st grade and if she were to go to public school again this year she probably wouldn't know anyone in her class from last year.
Hope this helps,
J.
Mom to 4, soon 5 through another adoption and hopefully more :o)
http://oneverybusymomma.blogspot.com/

Check out the St Paul Newspaper today. There was an artical regarding this issue. Good Luck.

I moved to a new school when I was in 2nd grade, and my mom called the school ahead of time and got the names and numbers of a couple of the girls that were going to be in my class, and invited them over (one at a time). Then when I started school, I already knew a couple of people. I would talk to the schools and see if you could do something like this.

You could also tell him that he could be "pen pals" with the friends he'll be leaving. Even though they can't write that well, they could color pictures or use stickers or cut pics out of magazines and send those to each other.

Good luck!

J.,

When we moved, I called the school ahead of time so that before she started, we could come in as a family and take a tour of the school. My daughter also brought all her school supplies, met her teacher and arranged her desk. When school started, she already knew her way around, knew her teacher, had a locker, and all her supplies were in her own desk ready to go. I also dropped her off the first morning instead of having her take the bus.

Good luck,
S.