How Do You Get Anything Done When You Have a Toddler?

You revise expectations. You do things while the kid is in the room but not necessarily doing something WITH you. You do things where you fold laundry and he chews on a sock or "folds" wash cloths. Or you do things when he is in bed or eating or whatever. Ditch the guilt if he's not watching TV all day.

Ummmmmm. I almost jumped for joy FOR YOU when you said hubs suggested hiring someone to help. I would have been on the phone before that sentence was even all the way out of his mouth.

Put him in his high chair in the kitchen while you are cooking/cleaning in there. Give him playdo (edible if you are afaid he'll eat it), shaving cream to play with, toys, etc. Change it up daily. If need be, the high chair into the other rooms and keep him 'contained' while you work. Take him with you in the basement (not sure how many stairs you have but take a few of them to wear him out!). Do you wait for the laundy to go through the wash? Bring books or wait and put the laundry in when hubby is home at night / have him help you with that.

As far as media time, that is totally up to you. I know some people who's kids get more and get less at the same age.

It will not get easier with two kids, but hopefuly will be eaiser to maintain when you move into a house and laundry is closer. If all else fails, gate him into one room with only safe things for him to play with/climb on (may be his room) so you can get stuff done.

Clean the bathroom while he's in the bath. Have him 'help' wash the mirrors/windows. Sure he may not do as well of a job as you but it will keep him busy and near you! SAme goes for vacuuming.

Also save as much as you can for when you have a mother's helper and/or hubby at home!

The secret is to teach your kid to play alone and don't helicopter parent.

Create a playroom and encourage him to play alone. If he isn't able to play by himself, set him up with something and then say, " I'll be right back." Leave the room and gradually increase the time you are away.

I hate to say it, but I find it so sad when I hear of toddlers that can't play by themselves. My kids started playing on their own from day one. Playpens are a great invention.

I have three kids. 5,3 and 5 weeks. I don't have hired help, and I even mow my own lawn. You trust, let kids explore and you let them fall down. You also drink caffeine and clean like mad when they are having video time.

You confine him to a safe space. Ensure he's fed, clean, and otherwise comfy. Give him toys to play with and go about your business. Peek in to check up on him every so often. Crying is not indicitive of a major problem (you KNOW the cry of real fear/pain). You don't have to stop everything you are doing to pick up baby every time he cries. It sounds to me like he's clingy because you DO stop what you are doing every time he cries.

I put a baby gate on my boys' bedroom door at that age. They were safe in their room and played fine while I was working on things that required my attention, like cooking. Laundry doesn't require undivided attention, so I could have the kids running about while I was doing that. Other chores, like cleaning the bathroom, mopping, etc., I waited until they were napping or otherwise occupied.

I'm sorry, but you are a SAHM with one child in a small apartment. How hard can it be?

I raised my daughter as a single parent. I lived in a state where I had no family and had to make new friends. I had no one to help; didn't make enough money for any sort of help. I had to cook dinner every night after working an eight hour day; had to do all the laundry; had to help with homework; had to do the night time routine alone, etc. Yes, it's work but it's not all that exhausting.

IMHO, if one child and a small apartment are wearing you out, you need to do something different. I suggest it's leaving the toddler to play alone while you cook. If he chooses to stand there and cry, then so be it.

I found that if you fill their attention tank, you can get an hour or so to get things done. Sit down with him and give him 100% of your attention while you play with him for say 45 minutes. Then, he should be able to carry on for a bit while you cook. If not, into the high chair he goes and you talk to him while you cook. Even if he's crying, you're talking away and cooking.

Take the ipad and phone away from him. He does not need to play with electronics. Play with him with building blocks or legos or whatever is age appropriate, and save the electronics for later. When my daughter was growing up (she's 33 now) there weren't as many tv selections as there are now nor did we have computers in the home or any other electronics. There was absolutely nothing on tv during the weekend days so sitting children in front of the tv just wasn't an option - it didn't keep them occupied. So, we actually sat down with no tv on and played with our children. And then expected them to play alone so we could accomplish something. And they did! Imagine that! It's all in what you get them used to.

It's very lazy for people to just hand over the phone rather than to sit down and TEACH their child to play. That's right, teach them how to play. Don't just hand them a toy and walk away. Play with them with it; show them how it works. Make it seem fun!

You really need to get energized now, because when you move, you will have more area to mess up and longer times for clean-up.

I have an inhome daycare. All of the regulars are under 5. & I love naptime! That's when I'm on the computer, cleaning the kitchen, etc.

For my sons, I found that all could be accomplished if I encouraged them to participate....even down to recognizing the products on the shelves at the grocery store. & yes, they had to sit in the cart until about age 4 or so. Both were quick runners & didn't believe anyone could be a stranger. The cart was a necessity for their safety.

With all of my household chores, the boys helped. I helped them with their chores & they helped me. TV was a part of their lives, but not so with my daycare kids now. With the daycare, we watch 1-2 shows in an 11hour time period. I think that's pretty danged good!

By all means, use that highchair! Give him some food to mess with, some bowls/spoons to play with. You'll be amazed at how much easier it is. Let him help fold washclothes. The whole trick here is to relax & not expect perfection!

Also take a look at flylady.net. I think it will help you! & as for his clinging, hit some playgroups & encourage his social growth!

I put toddlers to work.

They're wired to copy us (I felt perpetually guilty that I wasn't doing something more interesting/challenging for him to copy... Toddlers can rope lassos/ climb like ninjas/ weave/ all kinds of survival based mimicry... And what did I have to offer? Loading the washing machine, cooking, cleaning, etc.), and its FUN to them.

Its slower than on your own until they're 4 or 5, BUT
- Ingrains the habit
- Teaches them how
- Spends time together
- Following directions
- Developmental tools (cognitive, emotional, large motor, fine motor).
And by 4 or 5 you have a WHIZBANG helper, and it cuts the work in half.

There are age appropriate tasks in all household chores here are just a handful of dozens of things 2yos can do

Cooking
- Pouring dry ingredients
- Stirring dry
(Moves on to pouring/stirring wet, and then wet/hot)
- Ripping lettuce/ bread/ etc.

Cleaning
- wiping down cabinets as you do counters
- sweeping w/ help
- sorting laundry into colors
- lobbing clothes into machine/ pouring soap/ banging the lid
- hanging clothes on hooks
- putting shoes away
- picking stuff up off the floor to go in baskets
- rescuing things from the vacuum

"Fun" doesn't have to be creating a disastrous mess, fun can ALSO be cleaning it up.

McMama gave a really great answer with lots of suggestions so, really, I'm just piggy-backing.

You need a "Mommy's Bag of Tricks." You need to have some things in a beach bag, or laundry basket that you can pull out and he can do. Playdough is great, finger paint (if you add enough water to jello to make it paint consistency it is eddible), abc blocks, a bin (like the ones they give you in the hospital or you put in your sink) with dried beans and cups, scoops, sand toys, bubbles, rolled up socks to toss beanbag style into an empty laundry basket.

The key is to keep him busy and entertained. Little ones this age will always find something to entertain themselves with and more often than not it's the things you don't want. Let him "help" as much as he wants.

Like McMama said, work your schedule with his as much as you can. Clean the bathroom when he is in the tub. Sweep and mop when he is in his highchair eating (just save under and around the chair for last). Let him fold washclothes while you are folding clothes, even if you have to pull clean ones out of the cupboard. Stuff like this.

Hope this helps.

Wwellllllll....I was going to respond to you on how I do it, but realized I don't really have a plan either! My life sounds a bit like yours: happily chaotic!
Yes, I let the 2.5 year old watch TV, and no I don't feel guilty about it very often. The 6 month old gets toted from room to room with me and laid on the floor or in a baby contraption of some sort. I no longer get to do things in the rooms they were designated to be done in, necessarily (like, laundry gets folded wherever I'm needed at that moment-good thing baskets are portable!). I spend a lot of the day talking to the boys, explaining what I'm doing, letting the older one "help" me (handing him a dry washcloth to help "dust", etc), he helps fold laundry by throwing it in the air, and he loves to shove the wet clothes into the dryer. Everything takes twice as long with kids around, BUT, you gotta roll with it. Is he still napping? If not, then hopefully he's going to bed by 8p., which should give you an hour or so to do things before being COMPLETELY exhausted!
I wouldn't turn the EIK into a play area-you want your table there so they can get used to family meals-those are very important.
Just pick a room you can make safe, and GATE OFF-is it a ranch? Maybe a 3rd bedroom can serve as a playroom, where you can put up a gate and still hear the 2yo playing, but he can't come out unless you lift him out. You can even buy one of those inexpensive ballpit/bounce house things to put in there. He can only play with it when he is happily gated in-(you can get one for under $50 in the springtime at Walmart, Amazon, Target, etc.). You should have some toddler-free time to clean or prepare meals then.
Good luck with your new little one! Boys are awesome!

i did what mcmama did. highchair and messy stuff to play with. shaving cream, flour or cornstarch and water,food dye, finger paint, play doh. then snacks to occupy her. i was always feet away to talk to so she wasnt crying...she was clingy too. i used to have emmy help prepare foods. he can mix the salad ingredients together pour on dressing..."help" shuck corn and so on. food will taste better if he made it too

Updated

i did what mcmama did. highchair and messy stuff to play with. shaving cream, flour or cornstarch and water,food dye, finger paint, play doh. then snacks to occupy her. i was always feet away to talk to so she wasnt crying...she was clingy too. i used to have emmy help prepare foods. he can mix the salad ingredients together pour on dressing..."help" shuck corn and so on. food will taste better if he made it too

I was going to suggest TV, so don't worry about judgment here. My daughter loved Fresh Beat Band at that age and I knew exactly where she was for the 23 minutes that it's on. Even better it came on at 5:30 so I could get dinner done. However, the best thing I did for her and for me was to put her in a Mother's Day Out program. It was 5 hours a day, 2 days a week. I found it through a church so it wasn't that expensive. She loved it. Next year, at 4, she will be going 4 days a week/3 hours a day. I know in my area all the churches have programs, a lot start at age 3, but some start at 2. Also, the community centers also have preschool programs, or I recently found out, so drop in day care hours.

Get your child involved, and revise expectations. Your house isn't going to be spotless, and there is always going to be something that needs doing. That's the life of a mom with young kids, and it's okay. No, really, it is.

I am not a fan of using TV as a baby-sitter any longer than you already do, sorry. When it comes to making a toddler more independent, I think screen-time, especially ipads and such, have the OPPOSITE effect. If it was up to me, I wouldn't let your son use the ipad and the phone too often, because kids learn instant-gratification that way and don't know how to entertain themselves. Believe me, I went through this with my oldest, before I knew better, and it's easier to just restrict the screen-time now so that your son can learn sooner rather than later how to keep himself occupied without constant stimulation. I would start regulating that time to no more than 30 minutes a day, too. My kids are allowed 30 (my son is often allowed 60) minutes of educational TV a day (PBS Kids is wonderful: Super Why taught my son to read, and Daniel TIger's Neighborhood actually convinced my daughter to try her vegetables! Not kidding!), and I think letting them learn to play by themselves has been an invaluable lesson. (Having said that, every once and a while, when you're overwhelmed, you can give yourself a break on the screen-time. Just make sure you don't do it every day).

Now, for some tips for the housework, I have a four year old and a two-and-a-half year old, so I've been through this age recently. The best thing I've found is engaging the children in whatever I'm doing. So, your son can "help" in the kitchen, for example. When you need to cook, set him up by the sink with some bubbles and a scrub brush, and you're set! Give him a drawer in the kitchen full of fun (safe) kitchen stuff he can bang around. Turn on the music while you're sweeping/vacuuming/dusting and dance with him. Set up crafts (something as basic as coloring with washable crayons) in the same room with you as you fold laundry. Make really simple meals, like spaghetti with veggies and fruit - you don't have to be a world-class chef!

Your son is old enough to be content in the same room with you without you interacting with him, so get him used to that (believe me, that will come up with another baby). Putting him in the high-chair so you can get something done is FINE.

It will be harder, at first, with two, but eventually, they'll be able to play together while you work. You'll get there. Best of luck.

You got a little unlucky in the needy child department. I think its a great idea to have some play things in the space next to the kitchen so that can be by you while you cook. Don't make permanent design decision on a kitchen around this stage in your life however. It will be over in a blink.

I used to wonder how I'd ever get anything done or even get through a day with two. And trust me, I had a few rough ones, but somehow, everyone adjusts to accommodate one more in the family. Every three months you'll notice improvements in your child's independence . And soon they will play together when you can't be right there with them. Once you are past the infant stage, two are easier than one (at home anyways, not so much for outings). You'll see, its will work itself out. If you need help, hire help! Especially if you don't have a laid back parenting style.

Before the baby comes I would get him used to bring a toy into the area where you are working and get used to playing on his own for a short period of time. Do not be hard on yourself for using the TV/iPad once in awhile. Music on the radio/CD is always fun. My husband was not home alot when my son was younger and I worked full time so on the weekends I had to get stuff done. It saved me that our play area was in sight distance of the kitchen. I would designate a place in the kitchen for him to play and he can bring in a couple of toys while you cook. My son also used to help me clean, I would give him a squirt bottle with water in it. Now that he is 7 I give him wipes and he will clean the table or other surfaces for me. Your son can also help you cook.

Haven't read others answers, sorry if I repeat. Have your toddler " help". Chores will take twice as long but at least it gets done & there are a lot of learning opportunities.

I am with your husband hire someone to come in and help. Most wont let you do that so enjoy it while you can. Your only other options are let him act up in the other room or let him have more TV. If you are picky about what he watches get DVD's that he can watch. When you new one comes it will only get harder. I know a lot say they don't want to use the tv as a baby sitter. Well most of those don't have very active children.

I cooked supper and did housework during the afternoon nap. I did not cook breakfasts or lunches, just made easy stuff. I let them watch tv while I showered and got ready to go out in the morning. I spend the majority of the day out and about every day, instead of staying home and making messes. I washed floors and vaccumed on the weekends when my husband could watch the boys. I cleaned the bathroom while the kids were in the tub. My kids were only clingy when they were bored, so if we tried to stay home all day they would want lots of attention. If we went out they were stimulated by the sights and sounds and activities. I didn't have expectations of having a perfectly clean and organized home when my kids were little.

My kids are 18 mnths apart and I got nothing done while they were little.

I did laundry dishees and very light cleaning.. vacuum.. floors .. that was all I could do..

Luckily mine napped for 3 hours in the afternoona nd i cleaned like crazy.

Let toddler help you, purpose to spend quality time with him and let the housework go for an hour or two each day, try to get the work done when he naps

Is preschool out of the question? My kids are a little older and when my daughter was born my son did preschool 2 days a week (he was 2y9m when he started). the next year he did 3 days a week.
When my daughter was younger (under 2) and my son under 5 it was so hard for me. I was a reck (no grandparents or family to give me a break). I think my friends who seem more put together did have a housecleaner, spanish nanny and went to the gym (used the daycare). I feel like saving the money since I am staying at home. My husband has even asked to get a housecleaner (he knows it is a lot of work, unless you use the TV/iPad).
I do think if you can afford it, get help (babysitter or housecleaner). It is good for your mental health.

I like Trader Joe's for snacks. Pumpkin seeds, coconut chips, yogurt, berries, veggies and other easy healthy non cooking foods, so when you do not want to cook you have something to give him.

oh, my friend who hires several helpers does get grief from her husband. He does not think it is needed and it is too much of an expense, but she has 3 kids (and under age 6 at the time).

I heard the quote one that "cleaning with a toddler in the house was like brushing your teeth while eating an oreo"...and I found it to be true.

My son would literally sit on my feet while I cooked and sometimes cry because I wasn't holding him.

I would suggest a Mother's Day Out program...some churches and community centers offer one, two or three days a week where they watch the kids for about five hours in the morning...the fees are usually not terribly high. That way they can play and do a craft...you can shop, nap, or clean/pre-prep your cooking. it was a life saver for me!!

Duck tape.

No, just kidding. Ya know honestly I don't know how I got through it, but I did. I can't say it was easy, but it must have not been so bad. I do remember one time just after giving birth to my 2nd daughter when I went to one of her appointments and the Dr. asked how I was coping with 2 little ones. I remember telling him how my oldest who was almost exactly 24 months older would seem to climb and/or get into everything at the right moment when I was busy feeding her sister and could not stop her. He said something along the lines of "Well sometimes they just have to fall and learn their lesson" I remember thinking, he's right, I can't control every situation and I can't fret about it. Things are going to happen, things will be messy, and nothing is perfect, especially the house, food. etc. But you just take it one day at a time. You'll find little tricks to keep your oldest busy and you definitely have to get over the mommy guilt. As long as your meeting your kids needs and they aren't getting into too much trouble, that is what is most important.

As for ideas of things that entertain a toddler these are things I always liked:

Stickers
Coloring
Play Dough
Helping with Cooking
Letting them "reorganize a cupboard"
Giving them special tasks to help with
Putting specific toys up for specific times (this way they aren't playing with it constantly and it feels like a special treat)

Good luck, I'm sure you'll get the hang of it!

Three tips I have are:

Yes, make the eat in area a play area for now.

Get a new batch of toys that line up with you child's interests or whatever motor skill he is working on. (also, rotate toys)

My independence secret is play for about 20 minutes, then move on to the tasks you have to do. Your child may fuss, but eventually will find something to do.

Oh, and I do have help with cleaning 2x a month.