I am sleep deprived, cranky and a little depressed to say the least. I have a very demanding full-time time job (which I love, most-of-the-time), a 4 month old daughter and a 5 y/o son. DS just started kindergarten, is in karate (hates going but loves it once he's there) Tuesdays and Saturdays and is about to start drama school on Saturdays at Casa Manana. DD is in full time day care and is on breast milk exclusively. My husband works in Dallas and is unable to help with taxing the kids in the morning and on Tuesday evenings. Other days he picks up our son from daycare, but I still have to get our daughter (she's next to my office). DD was sleeping through the night but for the past 2 weeks has begun waking 3-4 times a night. We don't get home until 6/6:30pm. At which I nurse the baby, get my son started on his homework, get some sort of dinner prepared (usually sandwich, pasta or fast-food, I know it's horrible!), feed DS (maybe myself), kids bathed, stories read, kids to bed by 8:30pm, bags ready for tomorrow, shower (because there's never enough time in the mornings), nurse the baby - again, maybe watch a 30min show, read the Bible (for sanity sack) and then crash - only to be woken 3-4 times before I have to wake and do it all over again.
We are going NON-STOP! My house is a mess and I don't care. Which is so not like me. I used to have friends ask how we kept it all so clean. Not anymore! I've never needed a house-keeper but am starting to think that having 2 kids warrants one, however my husband I know does not feel the same.
YES - I know that our life is no different than any other full-time working family. And yes, I know that I'm so so blessed to have the wonderful family that God has given me. But does it ever get better? If so, when??? Please tell me that I'm not alone with the never-ending never sleeping craz-filled days!
Ok, I needed to vent! Thanks for listening. I feel so much better!!!! Now I just need to be put in a 3-day coma with a wine/margarita drip. Ahh, that sounds freaking fantastic!!!
So, to all you SUPER MOMS! How in the heck do you do it?
OMG I could of written this post! I thought I was just having sever PMS btu glad to see im not alone ;-)
Some days are just like this, I try to hang on till it blows over.
After your son finishes one of his extra curricular programs.. Drama or Karate.. Drop one of them for now.. Use that money to hire a house keeper and let him just have time to "flop out".. To be a kid and have some time off..
Or hire someone to pick up your kids and bring them home and start dinner or help your son start his homework.
Being a "super mom", also means taking care of yourself and actually spending time with the family. You will never regret it.
None of us are supermoms, in every household there is something that gives, just not everyone talks about it or admits it. I've said numerous times that our house is not the neatest one you're going to find. I don't care, it's what my "give point" is. It will get better/easier with time when the kids are older & able to help out. Don't beat yourself up!! Hugs!!
I am often told, "I just don't know how you do it." The answer is: You just DO, because it is the only acceptable option. You prioritize the necessities (like having clean dishes and clothes) and try your best not to sweat the other stuff. I keep telling myself, "Someday you can bake scrumptious treats for your kids and prepare gourmet meals for your family." I love being in the kitchen. Someday, I can play in there again.
Don't forget to occasionally do something for yourself. I keep some chocolate on hand for when I need a pick-me-up and every few months, my husband sends me to the spa for some pampering. Good luck through these rough times.
Wow! Does this ever sound like my life. :)
One thing that helps me is taking some time for myself. Once a month a few of my girlfriends from high school meet up for dinner & drinks. And with some other friends/family here and there when I can.
I know for me I am always at my lowest when I am sleep deprived and that does tend to happen with a little one more so than when they are older, but it does still happen sometimes with an older child. I just had my 5 and 3 year old wake me up every two hours between them the other night. Ugh! But I know I feel tons better when I am getting the proper amount of sleep.
Will it get better, I sure hope so! I mean we have to believe it will, right?
Lexipro and a housekeeper once a week...honestly! Ha!
Yep - you sound like me! I work full time and I have 3 of my own plus my stepson. My son is currently playing football and has practice 3 days a week plus games on Sunday which my husband takes him to because he's the coach. My daughter has soccer practice 2 days a week plus games on Sundays. My stepson plays football and has practice every day after school plus a game on Friday. I feel like I'm a neverending taxi and I never get to relax. Meanwhile, I'm carting my 4 year old everywhere with me. However, I don't think I would have it any other way! :)
No O. can "do" it all OR "have" it all. That's a total myth.
Just hang in there, know that you're in good, abundant company and relish the fact that it gets a little better as the kids get older. :)
I admire you:) I am a SAHM, but I cannot imagine working full time, taking care of the kids and the house. Some things would have to be on the backburner and cleaning is one of them. Family time is way too precious. Personally, I really think you should invest in a housekeeping service at least once every two weeks. Talk to your husband about it. Some women love to get pedicures, manicures--tell him you want to get the house cleaned!:)
Simple answer: Housekeeper.
I wouldn't pretend for one minute that I could survive happily (with free time) without our Rosy! She's amazing and more affordable than we thought someone would be.
Bottom line, I can't do it all. "All" was getting done on the weekends and late into the night. When I took a promotion, it was with the understanding that we would hire some help. My husband pulls his weight without question, but Thursdays are my FAVORITE day of the week because when I get home, the house is clean and the laundry is done.
!
The idea of a super-mom is a myth. Most of those people are either stay-at-home moms or have a good support network (grandparents, nanny, etc.) that can help out). I have 3 children. Both my husband and I work from home full-time, so we save on commute time so that has been good, but believe me my life is still super crazy and there's never enough time. And it's also a myth that it's easier as they get older - it is still challenging, it's just what is required of you is different (i.e., no more feedings and diapers, but then it's all about teenage angst and high school drama and college prep). It's a full time job just to manage my family's busy schedules (music lessons, soccer practice/games, dance class, tennis class, doctor's appointments . . . etc.).
One thing I've learned is that the messier my house becomes, the crankier I get. I don't mean it has to be perfect (and it certainly isn't!), but for me visual chaos creates mental chaos. So having a cleaning person every two weeks was a great relief to me, although I've had to give that up recently (now paying for private school for my 16 year old - result of the teenage angst/school drama I mentioned).
Venting is good -- I often feel the same way! Try to enjoy the long Labor Day weekend with your family!
Thanks for sharing, mama. You can cross check my post from yesterday which is along similar lines. It feels better just to vent once in a while, and also to learn that you are not alone feeling this way. I think that raising children is a lot of work which used to be done by whole families. Now that people move around so much, like us, many don't have family or close friends around to help. As the saying goes... it takes a village, and many of us no longer have a "village", just ourselves, and if we're lucky a supportive spouse. Hang in there mama. I keep hearing it gets easier as the kids get older...
