How Do I Tell My Daughter That I Have to Leave Her?

Hello J. -
As far as preparing her, I would explain you have a boo-boo that can only be fixed at the hospital. I'd tell her you would very much like it if she could come and visit. Perhaps take a ride on the magic bed or go for a ride in the big wheel chair.

I have a 2 1/2 y.o. Dtr. as well. I realize our circumstances are vastly different but due to work travel I have had to be away from my precious for extended periods of time. I made a video tape of myself singing, dancing, reading books, etc. The tapes starts with me talking & singing like I do in the mornings then wishing her a good day - by the end of the tape I am singing and reading the stories I would to put her to bed. Throughout the tape I reassure her that I am thinking about her and can't wait to get home to her. My husband says it really seems to help. I also made her a small photo album of pictures of us and other family members. In addition I call several times each day. One other item is that I always give the care givers a heads up that I will be out of town and ask that they give her extra hugs & loving. When I return I always come home with some surprise. Sometimes its simply the peanuts from the airplane or hand soap from the hotel. Perhaps if you are able, try going to the dollar store before you go in and buy some small "gifts" for her for when she visits. This will give her something to look forward to when she comes to see you rather than seeing moomy in a bed not feeling good. Oh, another one I have done is to send letters with stickers or pictures to color in the mail. My daughter loves getting the mail and to have something just for her -- she loves that! I start by putting the first piece of mail into the box the day I leave. That way that first day she's already got something from me. Another for visiting would be if you could call her ahead of time and ask her to bring you one of her favorite toys to visit or pack an item you need like a comb or nail file. My daughter loves feeling like she is performing an important "job" for me.

I realize what I am about to say is soooo much easier said then done but...Don't beat yourself up if she is still scared and upset. Just love her - She will feel that more! You are going to be weak for a period of time. Try and do some prep work before you go in, if you can. And DON'T be afraid to ask for help!
I will pray for you and your family J..

Hi J.,

Although I can't relate to your situation, or respond with advice, I just wanted to let you know that I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Best of luck to you and I hope you have a speedy recovery.

dear J. i am so sorry for what you are about to go thur i am not sure if there is any way to prepare her for this except tell her you have a boo boo inside of you and the doctor are going to make it all better but for them to do that you have to stay where the doctor can make you all better and what would reallie help is to see her a much as you can .maybe if at all possible when she come to see you vist in the lounge maybe for the time she up visting then can on hook any tube well i hope this help you i will pray for you that the bone marrow tranplant work and you make a fast recovery

Just wanted to wish you and your family well. Thoughts and prayers are with you for a full and speedy recovery.

This is never easy, especially with kids. One thing that helps with an extended hospital stay is if you can make up care packages that can be sent on a regular basis with goodies and a letter or card from you. It would be good to shop and put this stuff together now, or if you think you will be up to it, you can do it while you are in the hospital. Kids love getting things in the mail, and they will share this special bond knowing that they can look forward to something coming from you each day.
God Bless,
W. P

Even though this is a very big deal, try to keep it calm and upbeat for your daughter. Tell her that you have to go to the hospital again, to fix a boo-boo. Ask her to help you pack a bag to take, so you don't forget to take anything. Helping you might make it feel more like an adventure that she's helping you on, than a seperation. Maybe you can go to a toy store, and pick out two of the same toy, so you can keep one in the hospital, and she can keep one at home. Then tell her that you can both play with the toys when you miss each other, and know that the other is playing with you, even though not in the same place. Plus the toy would give you something to do together in the hospital when she visits, so that she doesn't have to think about the fact that you are in the bed. Pack a few of her favorite books in your bag, if she'll give permission, so that you can read them to her in the hospital, too. Maybe you could use a tape recorder to read her some bedtime stories, and let her help you record them, so that she knows she can still hear your voice every night. Ask her to color you some pictures, too. That way you can decorate your room with them. Maybe you can draw some simple drawings for her too, to send home from time to time.

As hard as this is going to be for her, she'll be okay. I know this will be hard for you too. You just focus on getting better, and trust in the fact that your daughter will be okay just as soon as you're home.

I agree with the other posters about keeping a positive attitude about the hospital stay when talking to your daughter about it. The only thing I would add would be to make it clear to her that this hospital stay doesn't have anything to do with her new little brother. Since the last time you were in the hospital was when you had your baby, she may think that this hospitalization is her brother's "fault."

Wow. This must be so hard for you. I have a cousin who went through the same type of situation. For her, she was able to be a little more open because her kids were a little bit older and could understand. I might try taking her to the hospital to visit and show her around before she has to go and see you there. Exposing her and showing her the "neat" things the hospital has might make her less nervous when the time comes. Also, maybe get her some doctor stuff to play with at home and let her listen to your heart and things so that she can bring that to the hospital when you are there. As far as the having to be away from home at that time, I know she is young, but talking to her everynight and even emailing pics from a digital camera would be a way that you could see each other. I know some hospitals will allow you to borrow lap tops and things like that. Good luck and I hope all goes well.
Thoughts and Prayers
E.