How Do I Start "The Talk"?

I told my son that sometimes his friends would hear things that may or may not be true, and since I wanted him to know the truth, we made a "deal". If his friends told him something that sounded weird, to ask me and I would give him an honest answer, because I was old enough to know, and if I didn't know I would find out. The talk started by him asking me questions and that worked well for us.

It is stunning how much kids know at such an early age.

Good luck, its awkward but it gets easier in time.

If he is already hearing things you should talk to your son (9) soon. Then talk with your son (8) soon after because chances are if the older one is hearing it so is the younger one. Also if he isnt he just might hear it from the older one. Then talk to both of them together and tell them to look out for each other.

christianbook.com has alot of great religous books talking to teens and kids about sex.

I don't know what age is appropriate for "the talk", but IMPO, I would talk to them about it at the same time, that way you only have to get up the courage once.

Here is a link that has Dr. Laura Berman's handbook that you can download.

http://www.oprah.com/article/oprahshow/20090326-tows-talk...

Hello,
I thought I would never give the "sex talk" at age nine until a friend told me how she educates her children. She reasons that once they are tweens, they won't listen anyway and have heard it from other friends and think they know it all. The way my friend does the talk is they make a big deal out of the whole thing - they got one of those huge books with big colorful pictures of anatomy. They take their 9 year old out to breakfast (no other siblings) and then at home in private they talk about the anatomy of it and how wonderful it is when you grow up and share it with someone you are in love with. They stress how important it is not to talk about it with younger siblings because they are not ready for that information yet. I have an 8 year old son and I feel he is not ready yet, but I will probably talk to him when he is 9 or 10 depending on how mature he is getting. You know they will probably share stuff with their friends, that is normal and to look cool, they want to be part of the conversation, but I will feel confident that I shared the right information with my son and ultiimately how you raise your children and what information you give is generally more respected than their peers. I was raised with parents not telling me anything, I was very curious and got into a lot of trouble because they did not inform me and provide me with information on how to make choices.

I think at least by the time they are 10 years old, they need to know - and sometimes earlier. I read my kids a book and they asked questions. It's important that it be simple for them to understand and to give them basic instruction that is added on from time to time. I had a three book set, which helped me a lot. I am LDS and the set was from a Christian point of view, written by pediatricians. The "You Were Smaller Than a Dot" was for younger kids - 7-8 about how a baby grows from a dot to a baby. The "About You...& Other Important People" is about sex and being responsible about it & aware of other people taking advantage of them (this is the one I did when they were 10). The "Not About Birds" was about masturbation, and other things about sex more in depth & sexual ethics (I did this one when they were 12). The author is Glen C. Griffin, MD. I'm not sure that they are in print anymore, but I'm sure you could find something in that general vein. Yes, please talk to them! They need to hear what is important to you and to know that they can talk to you about anything!

Dear Mandy,

I would not overload with info, but I would try to tailor what you present to the concerns you have. How much time is your son alone with peers unsupervised or lightly supervised in which misinformation could be passed to him or by him with peers?
Do you feel comfortable asking him what concerns him? Does he feel confident that you (or other trusted relative or family friend) have better answers or information than his friends? Does he come to you for info now, on other topics like current events? If not, you might have to work on just discussing other stuff...making communication about non-domestic or academic affairs a habit first.
You might show your son how to sift out rumors from opinion, from facts. An important skill. (A lot of journalists in this country do not demonstrate this ability.) He will run into a lot of half-truths out there. There is no way to totally prepare him with basic sex ed info. A cautious attitude toward verbal (and print) info and open communication channels with trusted adults will do more to protect him than straight information. Not that you should not provide that too!

hi M., that is a tough one. i have had the talk with my son who is now 14, when he was about 7. They hear and sad to say, see things and are curious. I was totally honest with my son. I let him ask me the questions and I answered them as best as i could in a 7 yr old manner. I was not graphic or dirty. I reasured him that whenever he wanted to know anything that he could always come to me. Don't read books, you are the only one who knows your child best. There were some things that he asked me, that I told him he wasn't ready to hear about yet and we would talk when he got older. To this day, I have a very open and honest relationship with my son, he always comes to me with anything and he feels secure in asking me anything. The best advice I could give would just to be as honest as you can without overstepping the boundry. Good Luck
A. M

Ages 8 and 9 are pretty young to be talking about that subject just yet. In school, they start learning about changes to their bodies during puberty in 5th grade, and then actual "how babies are made" in 6th grade. If he asks you questions, answer him honestly, but I wouldn't volunteer the information yet. He'll be overwhelmed and may have a hard time understanding since his body hasn't started changing yet.

in my opinion the old 'lets sit down and talk about the birds and the bees' puts too much pressure on kids. i believe that when your son starts making comments, that's the time to jump right in and casually talk about facts.

my daughter was 9 years old and began asking me questions about what other kids were saying at school. most of the information she had received was incorrect and some quite funny. I explained to her the whole process of getting her menses, sex vs. making love and the physical process. I want her to feel comfortable talking about these emotions and actions freely and it's ok with me if she chooses to share this information with friends. Some parents could not (or some kids are not willing to) discuss sex with their kids so if she has facts she can feel confident when other kids start to discuss and she can possibly assist other friends who have questions as well.
my son on the other hand is extremely shy and although he's not heavy, his brother (who is all bone) has teased him so much he is embarrassed about his body. He will not outwardly talk about sex, and yet I will bring it up, because he's 13 years old and i believe he needs to know facts as well. When we watch a movie or an advertisement comes on and people are kissing- he gets squirmy, (interestingly enough he doesn't seem to get bothered when my husband and I kiss)...anyway, I let him know wow, it's such a great feeling to kiss someone you love....so anyway in my opinion, keep looking for the casual moments so it's not an uncomfortable and possibly unwanted lecture
good luck

Hi, M.. I'm writing to share an article that recommends how to approach this difficult subject! It quotes local experts and offers links to other resources. Hope it helps.

http://www.raisingarizonakids.com/index.php?page=article_...