How Do I Get My Excitment Back Up?

S.,

Everyone goes through different emotions, don't let it bother you. Just know that when that baby boy is born, you are going to fall in love with him and everything else will seem so distant. Good Luck!

I recommend not telling people what the sex of your child is. The ultrasounds are not always 100% anyway. You can simply say- God willing a healthy baby! (reminding yourself at the same time ;> )

Also, focus on the fact that your son will have a lifelong friend in his new little brother. It is fun to have a same sex sibling in that they will be able to relate to eachother on a much closer level. And you never know what your future holds, as a mother of four, the more you have the easier it gets! (I have three boys and my girl is my fourth child)

As other people have mentioned you do not always understand the reason for things, but must be humble enough to know God has a reason for all that is put in our path.

Don't forget there will be grandchildren someday and then you can spoil your baby girl and send her home to Mom!

May you and your family continue to be blessed!
A.

Hi S.,
I'm 29yrs. old and a mother of a 10yr. old girl and a 2yr. old boy, "The perfect pair as I'm told" but my son was a very BIG surprise after 8yrs of health problems and having back surgery I was told my chances of having more kids are slim to none. but against all odds.I found out after I had back surgery I was expecting. I went to the OB and was told based on the amount of meds I was on during and after surgery my options were to terminate pregnancy or go full term and my son had the chance of being born with no skull or severely deformed and not to mention the egg had not fully attached to the wall so I was possibly going to miscarry, after allot of prayer we said God wanted us to get pregnant and if it's his will for me to carry this baby then I consider myself blessed. My child could of been a baby girl at that point I was not thinking of it's sex I was thinking of the health and life of baby. My son was born 100% healthy Thank God for that. Children are a blessing no matter the sex and they are always always worth it. I hope your child is born in a home that is happy for his arrival. May God bless you and your family my prayers are with you.
A.

pretty normal what you're going through. when iw as pregnant with my twins i had 'luke and cole.' for four months. but then i decided just to make sure i was having boys, turned out they were girls. i was good, happy about it still but my husband spent that whole day (the day we found out we were having girls) mopping around, not talking to me, even crying i think cause his eyes were red. it took weeks for him to come around. i just let him get over it and get on board. well we have the girls now, two and a half yr old and could not have wished for anything else. they're light of our lives and you should see the dad, he is so into them. what i am saying is, it's a process you need to go through to come to terms with it. i know about wanting girls, but boys must be fun too i guess i will never know cause our girls are first and last kids for us.
your son will have a brother and a best friend in that little guy. take your time, you will be ok
vlora

S.,
I have four sons...each time knowing I was having that baby girl...and I can just tell you....they are amazing and my world. Sometimes it's hard to think about the baby growing in your tummy as a live and vibrant child...just like the son you have now...but you will fall as deeply in love with him soon...and be so very thankful that God brought him in to your life. Chose to focus on the blessings and be grateful...there are so many woman who can't conceive and would give their life to have a son! You are truly blessed and your son is going to be an amazing and incredible addition to your home.
God Bless...
BTW...fifth try is a charm...having our baby girl TODAY!!

From what I've heard, no two kids are alike. Your experiences with your first will probably differ completely with this one. I am sure that once this child is here, you will fall in love with him and you will wonder how you ever doubted that love. Give yourself some time to digest everything. I pray that God will change your heart and your feelings.

I'm sure you didn't mean that to sound as badly as it did, but I had a lot of trouble reading your message. Let me tell you that I have a daughter who passed away five years ago, and I also have a nephew who is two years old with so many medical conditions. A child is a blessing, no matter what the sex is, and you should really concentrate on taking care of yourself, so you have a healthy baby. I don't know you, so I don't want to judge you for expressing the way you feel, but it's hard for me to beleive that anyone would be disappointed with their child. You are having your husbands child, and your son is going to have a brother, and that's a gift. There are people who can't have children at all, and there are people, like me, who have to go through to tragedy of losing a child, and if you never have to deal with either of these issues, than you should thank your lucky stars and feel happy for what you're givin. I'm really sorry if I sound rude, but I hope I opened your eyes.

S.,

Congratulations. Now, first and most important, stop being so hard on yourself. We are all here because we know children are THE most wonderful things in the world, and if you are religious, God's greatest blessing. The reality check is that we all have pictures in our minds of how things are going to be, and if the reality doesn't match the picture, we are disappointed. You can be disappointed, it is OK, and your husband should not be disappointed in a normal human reaction. I was positive that I was going to have a boy, girl #1, then I was 100% sure my second was a boy, girl #2. At that time, I never told anyone how disappointed I was that I was not able to give my husband a son and someone to carry on his family name. I carried it with me for a long time. I had a beautiful girl that I love more than anything in this world, and she is a constant source of sunshine to all of us (by the way, she turns six today!) and I would not trade her for anything, but every now and then I still wonder how things would have been different if either of my girls had been a boy. I repeat, do not feel bad about being disappointed, because you can love your children with all your heart, and still wonder . . .

You asked what you can do. Give yourself time to adjust and if you have someone who will not be judgmental to speak with, I would try that too.

Good luck and even though it wasn't what you planned, I believe that all things happen for a reason. Just as my second girl is to my family, I hope that your second boy will be an incredible source of happiness to you, your huband and your first son.

B.

S. - I know what you are going thru... I cried also when I found out I was having a THIRD GIRL... we wanted ONE boy at least, to carry on my hubby's deceased brothers' name. I wasn't open to a 4th, at that time but now I am. My point is this, you have to understand that by the time your little one gets here, you will be so IN LOVE with him. You just need some time to internalize the idea. I was crushed for days, but that passed soon. Don't feel to bad, I cried on the U/s table as well. Now I cannot imagine life with out all 3 of them.
Also - I don't know what your beliefs are, but I think that you are given what you are meant to have... for whatever reason.

Hi, i actually wanted girls, but had to prepare myself for boys, as my husbands side of the family was ALL boys. It really does take alot to prepare yourself for the opposite of what you want. I ended up having a girl the first time, and the second time around, when i was told i was having a girl, i looked at all the positives of having another baby girl. Save on clothes, 2 sisters will be best friends at some point, and worst enemies at another. Your life will be easier in many ways to have two of the same, and I believe God has a reason for giving you two boys. When the second arrives, you will be surprised at how happy you are that you had another boy. It's so exciting to think about what he could look like, and what he will do with his life, etc. There is a reason for everything-enjoy the fact that you will have a healthy baby. There are so many who can't have even one. You are blessed!

--do everything in Prayer and Supplication to the Father In Heaven--mindset-think of all the things that others don't have or go thru to have a child, what if your thoughts actually damaged the child? What if you still feel that way when he is born and he sees and feels it. I can't have children, and that is the only thing I knew I ever wanted in life even as a child.
--Give another child a life. Adopt your little girl.
--All the people I know that are only children, always always wished they had other siblings.
Ok those are just some thoughts I had on the subject. In the meantime -I'll pray for you. LovePeaceJoy-E.

S., First I want to say I think you are completely normal. At least I hope so because I felt the same way. I am having my first baby at 31 and I desperately wanted a girl. I'm petrified that I wont be able to relate to my boy or that I will be left out of activities that are daddy son things, sports, fishing etc. I wanted a baby girl I could dress up and take shopping. I am very much a girly girl and the genetic test showing a boy result seemed like a death sentence. I did not play sports when i was young nor do I like watching them now. I prayed for a girl thinking for my first it would be easier on me if I could relate. Well I reacted "inappropriately" as I cried and went thru a period of depression. I even bought little girl clothes, wishful thinking that when I go in my closet I see and sometimes cry. My family, friends, and especially my husband were ashamed of me. I was told I should be just happy if it was healthy. And logically, I knew that was true but it didn't remove the disappointment I felt. After a few days things got better and I guess I just accepted that I was not getting my wish. Then I received a call from my MD regarding my last blood work (serum integrated screen) that showed i was at a higher risk for down's syndrom than I should have been. Although my MD assured me that it was just a screen, I couldn't help but think that God may be punishing me for how I acted. I will get my results from the amnio next wednesday and I pray that he is healthy. Obviously it put things into perspective a little for me. Even though I will not tell you that you should be ashamed for how you feel. I believe you are entitled to your feelings and in a lot of ways can't change how you react. I just wanted to let you know that your not alone other people have those feelings too. I know it helped me that night when i found out, and everyone just couldn't understand how i could feel that way about a blessing from God. We are not perfect and are entitled to have bad days, think irrationally, and have our own preferences. I hope this helps. Good luck with your baby boy. I hope I can figure mine out. A.

I think it's okay for you to be a little disapointed at first just because it's not what you were hoping for. But it's not okay to keep displaying those emotions so that everyone knows you don't want this little guy and would rather not have the baby at all since it's a boy. That's horrible. I went through five years of infertility before being able to conceive. There are so many people that can't get pregnant and then you sit and cry that it's a boy. To continue your charade is childish. It is what it is and each child is a gift that some people never get the opportunity to have. If you don't change your attitude and have it when your child is born you will take it out on him and end up messing him up. What if your parents wanted a boy and got you? That's something you should not tell your child or ever take out on them. I'm with your husband on this...

S.,

Don't let anyone make you feel bad about your disappointment. Your husband would probably be upset too if your first child had been a girl and you were having another girl. It's perfectly normal to go through a grieving period when you find out you're not getting what you wanted. My son is 15-moths-old now and I still long for a little girl (especially when walking through the baby girl clothing department). And now that my husband and I are separated there's a chance I won't get to have a little girl in the future. But I love my son with all my heart.

You just need to give yourself some time to get over it. Don't try to ignore it. Give yourself a chance to be sad about it for a little while. And when you're ready to move on, remember that your second little boy may be nothing like your first. He won't be a girl, but he will certainly be different. It will be a whole new, wonderful experience. I'm sure your maternal instinct will kick in once he's here and you will adore him just as much as if he had been a girl.

Good luck. Take care of yourself.

-T.

S.,
Hey girl.....hope your feeling better. Let me start to say I have two boys and the difference in them yet the compatibility is a daily adventure! If you had not had a boy to go with a brother you would have most likey ended up with a Tom Girl. Something to think about? Plus why stop at only two. I know We did for my husband in total has 5. Try once more in a year or two from now and pray about it. Either way your faced with the job of raising two fine young men who will grow into wonder husbands, father and leaders. Once you see the innocence of a precious baby it really won't matter the sex. You will get past the disappointment. Except what God has given you and pray for the health of your unborn and turn it over to God. Stay in prayer about if you should try one last time and remind God of your request often for a girl. He will hear your call........

This isn't really advice, but my mom cried when she found out I was a girl instead of a boy...she wanted an older son and a younger daughter, but she got it opposite, as I have a 17 year old little brother. I, personally, cried when I found out she was having a boy when she was pregnant with him. Now, I have two wonderful stepsisters, both younger than me. I know it seems heartbreaking, as every mother wishes for a little girl to do mommy/daughter things. As a mom of boy/girl twins, my little girl isn't all that girly, but my son...well...he can walk better in heels than most women (they are 2) just give it time and think about all the good times you can have with your boys....and the future daughter in laws you'll have! It may seem like it won't happen now, but when he comes, you'll forget ever wanting a little girl. Best of luck in your pregnancy.

Dear S.,
I read all the responses to your request. I see a pattern. I know you wanted a girl and are dissapointed that you're not getting one. But all this talk about how the new baby and how he would feel if he ever finds out that you wanted him to be a girl....what about your little boy you have now. How awful HE must feel when he hears you say you would rather not have a baby if it is a boy. How sad that your first child may feel inferior and possibly grow up thinking poorly of himself because you made him feel like he wasnt good enough for you because he was a boy! You should be thanking God that you are able to have the gift of a child and are so blessed the be having yet another. And why does this one have to be your last? YOu could try down the road for another, but then again there is no guarantee you will have a girl then either. Maybe you should look in to adoption to find your baby girl? Be thankful for what God blesses you with and you will find happiness with it...even if it is a boy!