How Can I Stop My 16 Mth Old from Hitting

We have this problem going on now. We put her in time out. When she comes out, we show her how to "touch". Just gently rub her arm and say this is how we touch other people. Hope it helps!

Have you tried time-out? For a 16 month old you would only want to do time-out for 1 minute but it may have an effect and it will let her know that you are not playing and that it is not funny to hit.

You could put her in her room for 1 minute or make her sit in a special time out spot for 1 minute. I know that it is hard with a child that young because they will not stay but you can tell her one time not to hit and that it is not nice and the next time she does it tell her that she has to take a time out then you can take her to wherever you have designated for time out and sit her down. You can stay near her to make sure that she stays but do not talk to her, do not make eye contact with her and do not interact with her in anyway except to keep placing her where she needs to be for time out. Keep doing this everytime she hits you and she will figure out that if she hits mommy then mommy will not play with her for a while. One minute is a long time for a child this age so it will make a statement to her.

I am sure that some others will tell you that it is just a phase and she will grow out of it. It is a phase but I do not believe that they will just grow out of it. They have to be taught that it is not okay to hit.

I hope that this was kind of helpful for you and congratulations on the new baby coming.

M. N.

A 16 mth old can be going into the terrible twos so to speak. Time out is a good option. I beleive the time limit is 1 minute per year. The trick is they have to sit there the whole minute without pitching a fit. I would use the same corner and be consistent with it. She will stop. Be encouraged.

Well, it is definately a phase and I remember it well with both of my girls. However, you do still need to reinforce that it is not an OK behavior. I started time-outs at that age. After she would hit, I would say, "No hitting!" and then I would put her in a corner and sit with her without looking at her in any way. I just sat there to make sure she understood to stay there. I would set a timer for 1 minute and when the timer went off, I would let her get up. Eventually, my girls figured out that they must stay in time-out until the timer goes off. This will pass, hun, but stick to your guns. The key is consistency!!!

B.- I asked my pediatrician the same question. My daughter is 17 months and she started hitting me and my mom when she was about a 12 months or so. His advice (which worked like a charm) was this. When she hit me, he said to firmly tell her no (not yell). If I was holding her, I was supposed to put her down. If I was just next to her, I was supposed to walk away into a different room.

The reason behind this is that a child that young doesn't hit to hurt you. They do it for attention. If you yell, that is attention. If you laugh, that is attention, too! So, if you just say no and walk away, they get no attention and learn to stop that behavior because they get no reaction out of you.

This really did work for us.

My daughter is 16 months too. Occasionally she will hit, more out of excitement than anything else. After telling her, "no hitting!" I take her hand gently and rub it on my arm (kind of like petting)and say, "touch nice!" She usually smiles and repeats, "nice" while she rubs my arm. This is helpful when she is with animals or babies too. If I'm worried she will be too rough I just remind her to touch nice. I hope that helps. I think it is important to encourage positive touch rather that just reprimanding for touch that is inapropriate.

After reading all the other responses so far, I would like to add that if after telling her "no hitting", and to touch "nicely", she hits you again - then I would pretend to cry, and let her think she hurt you. At her age, I really think this would also help. My son, now 4 1/2, would get so sad thinking he hurt his mommy, that he wouldn't do it again. It took a few tries, but it worked.
He was in daycare too, so his "mommy-time" was precious to him. He would usually kiss me (wearever he had hit me). Good Luck, I've got 3, and he is my youngest.

G.

My daughter went through a hitting phase as well. It was short lived, but very annoying while it lasted. I tried everything I could think of to stop it. The most effective thing I did was tell her no and immediately put her down and walk away. Because she is really a "momma's girl" :) she was devistated when I took my attention away from her. But to be honest, she would still hit when she was excited and mad anyway. She eventually grew out of it. Good Luck!

Hello
My son sometimes does this too, and I am so empathetic to your frustration. I dont think hitting him back is the answer to teach him not to hit, either. I can tell you what a friend of mine (who had the problem and saw a therapist) told me. She suggested telling him/her "no no, that hurts Mommy" and setting her/him down and walking away. My baby does not like this and has gotten the message. I dont know if it will work for you, but I hope so. Good luck.
:)

I understand. My 20 month old is also doing the same. I try to remind myself that at this age they are looking for a response, and they will try the same thing over and over looking to see if she gets a consistant response. Hitting is not tolerated in our house, so I reinforce "gentle hands" every time she hits. If she seems to be hitting more out of frustration or anger, then I might also include a time out, or try redircting her attention to something else, such as a different toy, or activity.

I have a 6 and 4 year old, and the stage is well out of their systems, so be encouraged. Also remember, bad habits are much easier to stop now rather then in their later years. Treat her as you want her to treat others, and she will pick up on that.

Good luck!

My daughter turned 2 in May and she went through a phase where she would hit her older sister or me. Whenever she did it, I would sit her down where ever she was and place her hands under her bottom. She would sit on her hands for a minute or so, then say she was sorry. I only had to do this for a couple of weeks before she stopped hitting.

Spanking a child and then telling them not to hit would be a bit confusing. My 4yr. old had that same issue. I put him in time out. As soon as he hit I would take him to his "time out" spot, not his room and make him sit. I would tell him no hitting. Of course he would get up and I would put him back but I feel that after awhile he got the message. I use this for most issues.

Hello there, I am a mom of four children, my youngest boy came out a wild man! WOW! He is now just turning two!!! He did the very same thing, hits his older sister, pulls her hair, swings at daddy and me, and no one does this in our house. Not even older siblings. So I know how this feels for you. Guess what, my son is outgrowing it, he did it more around the age your talking it. I think it was just a phase, which is why I say he outgrew it, let me give you an example of that. Little ones find something that is funny or cute, or in this case 'bad' and they get a response, and if the response is big enough (your reaction) they learn that. And they hold onto it. So they decide to repeat the behavior, liking the response. In fact my boy at 18 months would laugh, giggle, when we were angry and said 'no'. We felt hopeless, UNTIL, we got advice, and learned that it was how we responded. No matter how your responding/ RESPOND DIFFERENTLY, because whatever way you are responding its working for him or her. So think about what your responses/facial expressions are when he/she does this, and change. Along with your partner/siblings. My son hardly ever does it anymore and he use to do it almost daily. The other thing is THE NAUGHTY CHAIR. We use that too. Make him/her sit in a designated place and hold he/she there, if she/he gets up or down off the chair, keep putting he/she back. Explain in short words why he/she is being put there. For examply 'Your going in the naughty chair for hitting, there is NO HITTING allowed. and hoist him/her on the chair immediately. I don't know but after a month or two he has stopped hitting as much, he only tried it now on occasion, but less and less, hardly at all anymore.

Hello B. -- I have a 17 month-old and she occasionally hits, too...but I've recently read that at this age, they are really just trying to get a reaction from their environment. In other words, it's more of a developmental milestone than a 'behavior' issue.

(My problem is that her 4 year-old sister reinforces it (and that's definitely not developmental) lol!)

I'm not exactly sure where I read it, but the babycenter is a good resource: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/toddlerdevelopme...

Good luck with your new arrival in December!

My son is 13 months old but also started hitting (when he was about 12 months). I tell him "NO HITTING" and take his hand down, but he hasn't stopped - I know I am not being forceful, but hesitate as he is so young and because he gives me the "boo boo" face when I do this (sad look). When he is angry, he will hit. He is also in day care but in a home setting. Please let me know if you hear of anything that seems to be working for your daughter. I want to stop this before it gets out of hand. Thanks for any help you can give.