My 2 Year Old Son Has Started Hitting Me and His Dad

Its a stage. But you do have to teach him it's not right. I read in Parent Magazine that you can start time out at One! I was suprised, but started doing it to my one year old. It works! They just have short time-outs, and in a place they cant exscape, like a play pin with no toys. My mother suggested not putting them in a place that they should feel comfort though. That makes sence to me so I don't do that. They should have a minute for each year. This has worked good for my older children as well, my oldest has learned that because she is older she should show more responsabillity. I hope this works for you.

It's a stage most toddlers go through. Just keep doing what you are doing and don't be afraid of a timeout. 2 is a good age to start this so they get used to it.

my daughter is 2 years and 4 months and respons very well to time out. we have a little chair for her to sit on in the corner of the front room. She knows that it is her "time out' spot, and she knows what behavior we expect from her in that spot. She is to stop what ever behavior that put her there to begin whith, and appologize before she can get out. It usually only takes a min for her to change her behavior.

Hi,
Have you read "the happiest toddler on the block"? I tried his suggestion of growling at my son then putting him in a chair for "time out" and then ignoring him for a brief moment. It worked really well and I did not have to get mean and heavy with him. He is not too old for a time out, in my opinion. Actually, the author above recommended finding excuses to give time outs from 11/2 on so that when a dangerous situation comes up they will listen to you. Sears' recommends 1 minute per year of age for time outs but in my son's case I just put him in the chair and ignore him for 15-20 seconds. Then I give him a big hug and tell him I love him. Repeat as needed. Once he understood that I could repeat the routine longer than him, he gave up.
Good Luck,
S.

He only does this because he's getting a rise out of you! If you walk away when he does it, he may stop. Also, I don't think he's too young for time-out, the bright kids (:-) usually need more boundaries sooner. We started young with my 2 1/2 year old--they say 1 minute per year of their age, but I only have to put my guy into time-out until he's ready to come out and behave, and that only takes 30 seconds or less sometimes. It's the idea that he can't interact with you when he misbehaves that does the trick for me! Anyway, keep trying things until something works, but I think the distancing of yourself in some way will be effective. Lots of luck!

Hi,

My son went through this around 1 year of age. We tired saying No. We tried time outs 1 minute per age but that wasn't fun (because had to hold him in spot)but worked for awhile.

I noticed that our son didn't like to have us hold his hands, unless we were walking so we started just holding his hands for a minute. (similar to time out, hold his hands still and told him I was holding his hands for a minute because he hit me) This worked for us on this issue and others.

Hope you find something that works for your son.

2 years isn't to young for time out. One minute per year of age. At 2 you have to stay with them, and just keep putting them back in the time out spot until the time is up. guarantee they won't like it because they are not in control.
good luck!!

Hi. Let me start out by saying that I don't have all the answers but I will tell you what I have tried with my 2 year old. It sounds like your son has come to expect from you a certain reaction to his behavior. Try throughing him off by reacting differently than you usually do. For example, instead of saying "No, don't hit," try making a sad face and saying, "Owie, that hurts mommy." Then try to find something that can redirect his behavior to something positive such as hitting, kicking or throughing a ball. Tell him, "Its okay to hit the ball but not mommy." I am a believer in short timeouts for my two year old. So, now that you have redirected his behavior you can now offer him a choice. "You can hit the ball, but if you hit mommy again you will go to time out." Show him where the propective time out will be. Of course it should be in a place that doesn't look like much fun, away from other stimulation. I have tried this method with my 2 year old and it has worked well. I hope that this helps.

Wow, I am relieved I am not the only one! My daughter is the same age, and she has been doing this to. What we do is tell her no, this is not acceptable in our family...we are non spanking...and I tell her if she cannot stop hitting she goes to her room. The tough part is she doesn't like to stay where i put her, so it takes time and energy to stand there, but it works to a point. The best thing I can say is consistency. Maybe pull out the playpen, and have that be his pin for when he is hitting, that way he learns that by hitting, he is put somewehere alone, and this is not fun. I feel your frustration, I have had to just walk away and take a minute to breath....deeply. Just be calm, no matter what, and consistent with your form of guidance!
Good luck

Two-years-old is a perfect time to start a time-out. If he hits you, you should tell him to stop because it's not nice and put him down or walk away. If he does it again, put him in time-out and when he is finished with time-out, explain why you put him there and have him apologize (or kiss and hug you). Have everyone follow the same procedures and he'll quickly learn to stop.

I've heard that the best place for a time-out is the most boring place in the house (can't see the TV or have access to any toys, etc) but still somewhere where you can keep an eye on him. I've heard using their bedroom or bed is a bad choice because then they see their room/bed as a place of punishment instead of playing/sleeping.
Good luck!

I've heard that it's one minute time out time for each year...If he's two, then two minutes time out.

I've found that my son also laughs when I say "no" and shake my head. I also noticed that head shaking is part of a game he plays with his Dad that makes him laugh uncontrollably. I am currently trying to say "no" along with the ASL sign and hope that he'll get that after a while.

I have heard time out is okay at this age, 1 minute per year. It's pointless to go longer then that because they don't have the attention span and forget why they're there. I've only had to do this once with my son, I put him in his crib because it's a safe place and there's nothing for him to do but sit there until I come and get him.

I am a mom of a 2 year old girl. She started hitting me about 4 months ago. It has decresed in frequency lately, but I was just about in the same boat you are when it first started. She would only hit me (not dad, any other kids, etc.). I found what would work (at least some of the time) was to tell her 'that hurts me when you do that.' I would then walk away. Sometimes they are just looking for attention and trying to see what they can get away with. When it first started, she didn't understand the concept of time-out. I found that removing myself from the situation, ie: going into another room and doing something for myself, or house work I needed to get done seemed to work. I would also tell her to come see me when she is ready to be nice. If he talks, tell him to 'use your words and tell me what's wrong.' I also started saying 'ouch' very loudly (it seemed to startle her and make her step back for a second). Sometimes a combination is needed. I hope some of what I've said helps. It may take a few months, but don't give up. There is light at the end of the tunnel.

A little about me: 24 yr old married mother of 1 beautiful little girl. We moved back to Las Vegas about a month ago from Dallas, TX for a great job offer for my husband.

According to a really great book, 1-2-3 Magic, 2 is not too little for timeouts. Just keep them to 2 min. each. I do use timeouts for my 2 year old and he seems to get it. You might try reading 1-2-3 Magic, it worked wonders for us when we read it and started implimenting it with our then 8 year old (she's 10 now. :-)

In my experience, when you tell them a particular behavior is unacceptable, it helps if you show them one that is. For example, when he hits you in the face, you grab his hands and you say "we don't hit (in a stern voice) but you can stroke my face gently" and then guide his hand to stroke your face. Or if you prefer that he not touch your face at all, you can use the approach "we don't hit people, but you can hit a ball" and show him how you appropriately hit the ball.

It's a very normal behavior for his age, and he will outgrow it (I've already been through it with my daughter).

HI I don't think he is to young for time out my 2 year old does timeout when he tries getting up I am there to sit him back down after awhile he stays. My friends doctor said her 9 mo. old can do time out in her crib when she starts screaming for a few min. and keep doing it and it seems to be working for her. Kids know how to play us and we got to stick to it when we start someting I found that out. Good luck!!!

My son hits me, dad, uncles, aunts, friends, kids he doesn't know. Sometimes it's because he's frustrated, other times I can't find any reason for it. It's frustrating and embarrassing. He started this before he was two and continues to do it at 2.5 years old. It's not every day or every week and just when I think he's done, he'll reach over and hit some kid at the zoo, just because he wants to stand where the kid is standing. I've ignored, redirected, done time outs, said no hitting , said ouch you hurt mommmy, and nothing seems to make it stop. I hope that it stops soon...
The one thing I notice is that I can usually tell just before he's going to strike...when I see the look on his face and his posture, I go over to him and distract him...sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.
Good luck!

Hi K.,
I have a 18 months son that does the same, he doesn't hit in the face, but he'll hit my arm or kick my leg. He thinks it's funny when he does it and I tell him "It's not nice". He just laughs. So what I did was try something different. Everytime he does it, I try to grab his legs before he kicks me, or block him before he hits me and just place his hand down and walk away and not give him my usual response. Or if I can't walk away, I just block and look at him and not say anything. When I don't give him a response, he seems less interested in it. Not sure if it will work for you but that's what we did:)

OH MY GOODNESS you ladies just took a big burden off my shoulders. I just joined today and was going to post about the hittng thing. My grandson lives with us and he is 19 months old. HE has started to get really mean, hitting, slapping throwing things etc. I was hoping it was just something he had to go thru, but as his father is VERY abusive to my daughter (hence the reason we have him) I was wondering what all he see when he visits them on the weekends. I was so relieved to find out he was not the only one. Also we have started the timeouts with him almost as soon as he started walking about a year old. They are soemtimes a pain in the butt, but he seems to understand when I say do you want a timeout. Thanks so much again..

Hi K., I'm M., 29, mother of 4. In my experience its never too early to start a time-out.. They need some sort of punishment for unwanted behavior. Try putting him in a corner for 2 minutes after every hitting incident. (The # of minutes that correlate with his age..) And do this EVERY TIME he hits. Eventually he is going to understand that hitting you on the face isn't acceptable and he will be punished for that action. Kids are smart and he will catch on quickly if you stick to it and stand your ground.. Good Luck!!

Morning. Our son is 4 year old now and he use to hit/slap my husband in the face when he was around the age of 2 year's old. And it was only my husband he would do it too especially when he was picked up. Our son thought it was a "game", course we didn't. What we did: tell him No, put him down and either have him go to his room or sit on the floor for a minute or two. The slapping/hitting only last a month or two. And as long as we didn't smile, smurk, etc... he wouldn't do it. Just try a little time out. Good luck. H.

my daughter is 18 months old and she does it too, i called the boys and girls town center to make sure she is not young for time outs they assured me she is not but it has to be kept brief. i know they r stubborn at this age but he has to know what he is doing is not acceptable from both of you.

Hey there :) Not to young at all, in my opinion. My husband and I used to swat my sons butt, till he started the hitting thing. So we decided we were only teaching him to hit when he was mad, if we swat his but when we are mad. My son stood in the corner better when he was 2 than he does now :)~ and he is 3 1/2.

As far as the hitting thing being funny and not when mad, I would just show with your face your disapproval, and right away say hitting is mean, and he will have to sit in the naughty chair, or stand in the corner, whichever you prefer.

Hi K.!

My name is P. and I'm a mother of three girls, a 15 year old, 3 year old, and 17 months old. And it is not too early for time out. My three year old started with the time out at two, and it does work. At first she would not stay in the time out spot, but after a few times she seemed to stay put. And my time out spot is in my livingroom, on the blue rocking chair, away from our familyroom and away from toys. When i put her there she has to stay for three minutes, we go by her age, one minute for every year she is. Give it a try and be patient, it will work. Let me know how it goes.

P.

Hi K.-I too have a 2 yr old that has begun hitting. He started doing so after he would get a spanking. So we put two-and-two together and started using the time out chair. It's all about the approach, not the age. Granted, he's not going to sit in the chair for five mintues, but it's the fact that he has to sit there. Or my mother used to take one of our favorite toys or movies away and put it ontop of the fridge. She would let us watch her do it and would be persitant about leaving it up there. That to a child can have more of an affect than anything, but you have to be consistent. Hope this helps.
-E.

K.,
We have two boys and they each went through this phase in one degree or another. Time out doesn't work with some children that age - especially if he's laughing at you. He doesn't take you seriously and therefore won't take time out seriously. First, if you remove him quickly from where he is - if in the living room, pick him up (not jerking him, but fast) and move to another room. Also, take away the favorite toy for a while. When you give it back (you decide for how long), remind him why you took it away. If you and your husband are consistent, we found that this works really well. Don't let it slide once, or you'll be back to square one.

My son is 23 months and we do time outs on him. I strap him in his booster chair,and face him to the wall for 1 to 2 minutes. It does work for us.

Hello!

Well, my sister has a 22 month old and she enforces the time-out and it works rather well. He hates it when she declares "Time-Out" cos he already associates it with those dreaded two minutes (and that is enough for such a little guy)of in-the-corner-quiet-time.

So I guess to answer your question, no I do not think he is too young for this.

I also read that whn he does hit you, do not react like "Ouch!" because it stimulates the "cause and effect" theory for him-the "If I hit Mom she makes a face and a noise..." but simply state calmly & seriously "we do not hit"

I hope that might help as I new to this whole parenting gig myself-but am always reading and learning!